Epilogue: Bound Tome's visitor
Some thirty years after his visit to the sacrificial valley beyond White Tail Woods, Bound Tome still looked as if he was only nearing the fourth decade of his life rather than approaching his sixties. Being touched by corruption was a good way of attaining longevity, as more and more ponies realized these days. The threat of losing their minds was just a minor deterrent to the brave youngsters seeking Corrupted either in the wild or in cities.
"Heh, youngsters," Bound Tome chuckled, leaving a bunched up group of tentacles serving as a lectern. One of them lenghtened and put the book they were all holding at eye height on a nearby table. Bound Tome shook his head at the sight, "I sound like an old pony."
"Grrghm!" he heard a dismissive grunting from the library entrance. The towering Protector Bastion was still keeping him company even after all these years, protecting the mage from loneliness, tax collectors, and failed summoning spells. Three slick tongues came from Bastion's mouth and licked his muzzle, giving Tome a steamy look.
The tainted unicorn just chuckled again.
"We still have a book to transcribe today. The royal library never waits."
"Mmmm," Bastion sat back down, grumbling in disappointment.
"Good news, though," tentacles sprouted from the carpeted floor and brought a different book in front of Bound Tome's muzzle, "A new codex of wizardry came out this week and guess who made it in!"
"Grrwgrg..."
"Exactly! I did," Tome flips a bunch of pages, "B-b-b-b-b, here it is! Bound Tome, the first unicorn wizard to successfully integrate the abilities of Corrupted and unicorn magic into a new form of spellcasting. Specialist on the theory of dark magic and the practice of blood magic. His biggest success to this day remains a spell tantalizing for many a young unicorn promising to summon a Corrupted-like entity serving one's physical desires without the threat of being tainted," Bound Tome huffs, "They could have left the dark arts out, it's not like I'm some sort of shadow lord set on taking over the world. "
"Heh heh heh," Bastion covers his mouth with his huge clawed front legs.
"Still, I'm the only one able to do this, which I am sure frustrates 'many a young unicorn', " his black horn glistens and the form of a beautiful mare, all slick and black sprouts from the carpet, "Having the balls to study Queen Nightshade's Corruptors proved quite the... asset," he slaps the summoned mare's wide flank.
A second later the fake Corrupted splatters all over the area as Bastion does the same thing with rather catastrophic result. The Protector snickers as the black fluid from the summoned mare dissipates, leaving no trace whatsoever.
"Don't be jealous," Bound Tome rolls his eyes.
Bastion just presents his behind and flicks his tail in response.
"Later! As I said, I still have work to do," Tome summons another fake female Corruptor, much to Bastion's annoyed growling, "I'm just practicing," the phantom does some stretching and jumping before disappearing, "It's still pretty complicated to do it without a stabilizing ritual, just using willpower."
"Mhmm."
"I refute any and all allegations that I just wanted to see a flexible mare stretch for me."
Bastion snorts, then his ears perk up and he gives the library door a confused stare.
"I felt it too," Bound Tome quickly listed possible defensive spells in his head. While he pondered the surge of power in the hallway outside, looking for possible reasons of somepony using unique unnatural transportation method to get to the Canterlot royal library without taking the official route, the door opened.
Bastion immediately pounced, claws ready and teeth bared. Tome knew to trust the Protector. If there was somepony they knew outside, Bastion would have not reacted like that.
The overbearing Corrupted stopped mid-air, held by tendrils of pink and gold flames. Wherever the fire touched, it made Bastion's taint recede, leaving lighter grey marks in his black coat. Black tentacles taking place of Bound Tome's levitation shot out to entangle the invader and dispersed into black mist before they touched him. Seeing Bastion struggling in vain against the burning chains holding him in the air, Bound Tome got ready to unleash possibly literal hell on the intruder.
Three things stopped him. One, Bastion wasn't being hurt, only restrained with the side effect of the corruption in him reacting to the power holding him in an absolutely unique way. Two, the faintest memory of the entering alicorn being in some way familiar. And three, a definitely familiar voice saying:
"Whatever you're trying to do, it's not going to work."
A second visitor stepped through the door behind the incoming alicorn.
"Desert Shade?" Tome's eyes went wide, "Haven't seen you in ages."
"Yeah, I've been busy," she grins, "Recently with this guy," she nods her head to the silent alicorn, "By the way, tell Bastion to calm down before he gets hurt."
Tome waved at Bastion. The two could communicate without words if needed, but they never used it unless in danger. Well, that DID happen from time to time, even to the reclusive royal librarian. When Bastion stopped struggling and growling, the alicorn's burning tendrils put him back on the carpet.
Feeling a little safer, Bound Tome examined the alicorn.
Bluish grey eyes stared back at him, mirroring the examination. Bound Tome was used to the royal princesses almost glowing with divine power, but this stallion looked shabby in comparison.
Blonde mane fading into platinum in places. Bronze coat, reflecting the burning flames fading around his front leg that used to hold Bastion, shedding in places. Look of complete exhaustion in his face. All those contrasted sharply with the alicorn looking around thirty.
However, even the princesses had to be cautious around powerful Corrupted like Bastion. This guy simply did not consider the Protector a threat.
"Who are you and what do you want?" Bound Tome asked.
"Are you Bound Tome, the inventor of a spell allowing one travel inside the contents of a book?" asked the alicorn.
Tome nodded. The spell was not difficult or groundbreaking. His reaction upon discovering a context allowing him to finish the spell had been disinterest, mostly due to believing that nopony bothered with finishing magic of that sort because it was useless. All it basically did was allowing the caster to talk to fictional characters to gain knowledge past what was written inside their book, possibly to find out what the author wanted to say with context and didn't manage to.
Useless, pretty much.
"Yes, in flesh."
"This library used to hold the journals of an ancient wizard called Starswirl the Beared," said the alicorn with certainty, "Are they still here?"
Or maybe not so useless. That alicorn was smart, but not smart enough. Tome had tried to use the spell on the journal, but it hadn't worked as he hoped.
"Indeed they are, but Starswirl refuses to talk about his research if you contact his written avatar. Believe me, I tried."
"You just have to know the right question to ask. Starswirl knew about the deities of this world more than anypony else ever. I need to speak to him, or to something as close to him as possible."
"And what would the right question be?" Tome asked, shiver running down his spine. He knew well enough that gods meant trouble.
"I need to know what stopped him from crafting the third Blade of Balance."
"Third? None of the journals ever hinted at there being more than two. Why would there be three?"
A black-handled greatsword with silvery blade appeared in the air next to the alicorn and violently stabbed into the floor.
"One-" the alicorn growled.
The second sword, ivory-handled with ashen grey blade did the same, sending sparks over the carpet.
"-to kill-"
A sword shape without any features, just looking like a hole into darkness, appeared in the air and simply disappeared again.
"-each god."
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Nameless Narrator · 147k words · 54 1 · 1.1k views
- Nameless Narrator · 81k words · 63 1 · 1.3k views
- Nameless Narrator · 148k words · 40 2 · 865 views
- Nameless Narrator · 48k words · 58 1 · 851 views
- Nameless Narrator · 175k words · 48 3 · 847 views
- Nameless Narrator · 308k words · 63 3 · 1.5k views
- Nameless Narrator · 46k words · 43 1 · 902 views
- Nameless Narrator · 43k words · 83 1 · 1.5k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.24 seconds
Total duration
959 users online
2,613,430 hits today, 2,151,698 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
When the sequel going to be?
7287507 If I am still alive in few months, maybe then.
7287642 what you mean?
A sequel? how awesome!
7288895 Sort of, you might want to read Dawn of the Silver Sun in the meantime. That, or the entire Blazing Light's storyline starting with Imbalanced if you are bored enough.
7289005 ok
7287645 Exactly what I said.
7290395 ok.
What kinda idea you have for corrupted lands sequel?
7305747 It's not a sequel to Corrupted Lands pre se, but it will take place in its tainted world. It's going to be more a sequel to Silver Sun than Corrupted Lands.
7306036 ok, so how are you feeling today?
7306040 Exhausted sums it up pretty well. Thanks for the concern.
7306342 ok then.
I been meaning to ask, is there anthro version of corrupted lands?
7454386 What I wrote is all there is, and that's normal pony version.
7454416 ok can you do a mature version of this one with anthro version?
7454463 No, sorry. I don't write anthro and I have three other stories going on at the moment so no time anyway.
7454556 ok.
I will be honest, this is the kind of tale I want to see adapted into a non Equestria/pony based fantasy novel. Which is one of the highest praises I give out, and one I don't even give many non fan fiction works. I really liked the late story wham moment, naming Harmony being the cause of all this, and the eldritch god angle. The flow, characterization, world building, and the writing itself are some of the best I've seen. I'm shocked it doesn't have more likes, it reads like a book not a fan fiction story.
You now are in my favorites gallery.
Glen Gorewood
7631206 Thank you.
Feel free to dig through my library, maybe you'll find something more that will interest you.
7631226
I'm starting with the Imbalanced series already. I'll let you know what I think at the end of the first one, and so on. If you ever modify these for a original setting, you have one buyer guaranteed.
Glen Gorewood
7631238 Honest and informative feedback, good or bad, is everything I can hope for. Have a nice read.
9375300
Yes, I do. I've been told that I used to write it wrong, but I haven't had a chance to fix all stories. I'll have to reread everything at some point just to recall connections and stuff, plus the eventual rewrite, but I definitely don't have time to do that, and the lack of updates while rewriting would kill my library off completely.
Okay, I-
...that doesn't sound good...
...this is probably the first time I had a total sense of dread before even starting to read... any of your books.
...well... here we go...
9389332
Yeah, in this one and the next ones besides a very few times when he is talking about wine you should assume wines mean vines.
9389358
Plus he used that in Silver Sun too.
9388907
It only goes downhill from here.
9389120
It could be interesting. It could be good. It could even be a literary masterpiece. It could be all those things. It isn't, though.
9389121
While it should have ended a looong time ago.
9389147
There are a LOT of assumptions, most of them essentially right, but very wrong in scale of power. I'll just say that Corrupted are drastically weaker/less resilient than the elder Vigils (also, thinking about Corrupted as singular organisms is also wrong), which might correct those assumptions and let you come to the right conclusion, since you're pretty close.
9389160
It is truly a world of horrors beyond the understanding of mortal minds. FKING MUSHROOMS! (Also, an excellent setup for "If you can't beat them, join them" moment. You'll know.)
9389167
?
9389173
Sigh… where's the wine when I need it?
Rewrite pile, or trash pile? That's the eternal question.
9389202
Let's not get into the topic of what I deserve, or I'd have to write one of my "real me" answers again.
9389227
Chilly's great. Too bad his chapter (3) is utter sh*t. The way it's written, I mean. Hmm… is it Nightshade, Bound Tome, Chilly, Spring, Nightshade? I can't recall.
9389247
No, I'm just a dumbass. Well, NOW I know how to write vines/wine, but you're gonna have to claw your eyes out for a while still. And I think tendrils is usable in place of tentacles so that I don't spam only that one word. I might be wrong, as usual.
9389294
She needs to see how it feels if someone else is using her like a Corrupted sex toy, and suddenly she can completely on instinct sense and call others to her. Corruption is taking her over very quickly (which I think is in Twibright's notes that it's irresistible and very fast).
9389319
If only everything I wrote could be rewritten by an actual good writer, now THAT would be fun to read.
9389358
Thank you.
9389334
Not a bad comparison, specifically in context of Nightshade.
9389365
Twi got OP over the centuries but not any less Twilight-y, minus the nervous breakdowns.
9389381
Nah, she's a Corrupted. A very quickly progressing tainted, to be exact.
9389399
Her mental instability as corruption takes over gets even worse. Especially chapter 3.
9389406
NM is recovering after she got screwed over while helping Straw. Dickrod's whereabouts are revealed at the end of New Age. And the big, fake, tentacled asshole is floating in the void, trying to get back before he disintegrates after he got Blazed. Alicorns who live in their pocket dimension like Zeph's didn't care before and don't care much now. Plus, corruption is only in Equestria (until some power-hungry asshole fcks over the Griffon Empire). Aaand horn rot is the reason why Twi, Luna, and Chryssie aren't kicking much ass either.
9389411
9389426
"THE SHROOMS ARE KICKING IN!" would be way better, alas...
9389432
Corruption isn't necromancy, Heavy's soul is trapped elsewhere, and his body has completely decomposed over the two centuries or so. Corruption takes over living organisms mostly. It doesn't make ancient dead go full Kill Bill and punch their way out of the grave.
9389473
I... kinda always wanted it to be more about the pain and growth of the characters, with the story being just a backdrop…
Welp...
9389478
Yeah, that's the point. She's going completely nuts, trying to stay a pony, fight progressing corruption, and losing control.
9389709
1. As usual.
2. It is interesting, and it is good... too soon to say if it's a literary masterpiece or not.
3. Nah, then I wouldn't be having all this fun!
4. Hmmm...
5. Mushrooms! It had to be mushrooms!
6. First as in first person perspective
7. Where's the wine where you need it? Trapping ponies, of course!
8. Oh hush you. You're better than plenty of the writer's I've seen/helped/read in the past. And you deserve the attention.
9. Meh.
10. Ah, I'm still saying the place is secretly a drunkard's paradise.
11. Eh, you should still rewrite those paragraphs so they wouldn't be as confusing to future readers.
12. You are an actual good writer. I've seen bad writing before. And honestly, I'm blunt/brutally honest most of the time, so I usually don't hold back when I have criticisms.
13. Eh, you need to write an entire dictionary to go with your stories one day...
14. I guess the EiS originally was the equivalent of Blackwatch... well, Prototype 1Blackwatch, Prototype two Blackwatch are just assholes. Still, I couldn't help making comparison's what with all the tendrils, the way Blacklight/The Mercer virus/The corrupted change the land around them, and not to mention the mentions of whip-like tails and transformable limbs.
Was wondering if it was a major coincidence, or if you were a fan as well.
15. Definitely. Though the more I think about it, the more I'm thinking
CelMolestia is the one running the western hive.16. And yet, she isn't quite the same as the other corrupted. Another reason for the Prototype comparison... her similarity to runners/evolved.
17. I still want to see that happen...
18. Hmmm...
19. SHROOMS!?
20. "Punch their way out of the grave"
21. It is... but you can't have pain and growth without a story to go through pain and grow in.
22. Ah, okay.
9390028
[Prototype stuff]
EIS is just a normal intelligence agency like CIA, but with its own task force. What I kinda used from Prototype was the ability of Corrupted to devour others and become stronger, nothing else. Any other similarities are purely coincidential. The idea for Corrupted came from somewhere COMPLETELY different, and I clearly remember someon in the comments getting it right, although I don't know if it's in this one or New Age.
9390171
It's a difference between possibly getting somewhere safe, and certainly being screwed in the library proven unsafe. Of course, once Corrupted are upstairs, it's usually only because downstairs is a bubbling orgy of goo and tentacles.
9390183
In the library? On top of that, Tome isn't a physically or telekinetically strong unicorn by any measure, and would definitely notice a cardboard box ten times heavier than anything else. Also, who puts sharp weapons in a cardboard box?
9390212
Honestly, I've always liked the pacing of Bound Tome's chapter. Feels to me like one long chase that actually has a story.
9390259
Well, that's what I believe. Prophecies and "born for greatness" types can suck One's ovipositor. Doing stuff if you're not supposed to be able to do it is way more impressive to me than if you can easily do it.
9390275
Well, that blog post is recent, CL is waaaay older. For me, this was a smart way for a semi-liquid creature which can easily corrupt both mental and physical form of someone to attack. As for "stealing" from the other side - I doubt someone as known as Bucking Nonsense has ever heard of me or read something of my own. I think such attack is just a logical way to go about it.
Or too much hentai in my teens long ago.
9390292
...one alicorn to find them, one failure to doom them all, and then tentacles bind them.
9390427
Morgan Effing Freeman (who I want to voice Void in the inevitable Netflix Imbalanced series)
9390446
Now where would you get that silly idea? Is it just the same looks? I thought red and black ponies/alicorns are the universal sign of total evil and crappy OCs. She's just the successor Scream personally picked to send her divinity to before getting purified and disintegrated. Nopony special. Also, Choking doesn't fuck darkness, she fucks light, and only when a lightning griffon allows it. Well, she did.
9390567
Okay, glad to see you lightening up!
1. Welp, it was the closest comparison I could think of... well, the OotSS is a better choice in their own way, as they are both the last line of defense against the unnatural... be it biological, or magical/divine. But the EiS were more secretive/governmental making it feel more like Blackwatch, even if the OotSS acts more like them.
2. Which is why he should've stayed put in that general situation... though it turned out to be a good thing he didn't, I'm just going to pretend to forget what I learned since then. So... he was in a room, secured by two massive and heavy bookshelves blocking the only door out, and with a mysterious being just outside, which considering how it destroyed the two corrupted, one might presume it was protecting the library. So all in all, the library seems like the safest place, at least at that moment.
3. Okay, short swords, lances... heck, even cleaning concoctions for the janitor to use could've exploded if the wrong ones mixed together... then again, I'm no chemist, but my point is, he should've checked, just to be sure.
4. Yeah, but he still needs to calm down and clear his head. Cho did help with that though.
5. Huh, true. Though prophesies do have their own place in fiction. I feel the same about the 'born for greatness' bs. I mean, heck, what did the guy do to deserve greatness, that the next guy didn't? Not to mention, why should someone be forced to do what others want, just because some people say they were 'born' to do it?
6. You have to admit though, the descriptions are very similar... Coincidence? I think not!
7. That quote perfectly sums up your stories... maybe change one ring to two blades, as in the blades of balance... it would at least make a good blog post title.
8. At this rate, everything will have a Netflix series. (No exceptions.) ...I'm pretty sure Imbalanced isn't at the top of the list though. But eventually...
I'd just love to see it when it comes out.
9. I am still unconvinced that 'fucking', or 'fuck' isn't (double negative) Cho's middle name.
9390577
Grumble grumble, so far for mystery, grumble grumble.
9390598
Nightshade's non-copyright-protected twin.
9391106
9391169
9391179
9391311
9391481
9391469
Glad you're having fun. Sometimes it's important.
9391279
Yeah, she's gone off the deep end entirely.
9391433
wild queen - hunter, Nightshade - protector, Chilly - hunter, Spring - breeder
9391535
1. *grumble grumble* I'm going to be without internet for a while, so I won't be on when it happens. *grumble grumble*
2. Non-copyrighted, you say..?
3. Ah, this is fun. Too bad shit is soon to hit the fan.
4. Hopefully she can find Atlantis, being so deep.
5. Three queens and a king walk into a
barcity-state...9392167
Well, here's to hoping that whatever you're doing internet-less turns out well.
9392169
Fking agricultural family.
9392358
Huh, I never really got around to using him again.
9392449
Must not cry, must not cry, must not cry.
9392479
Yeeeeah, this was written WAAAAY before Thorax or anything, which is why I'm still hesitant to add him to the Imbalanced universe despite everyone reading Halls/Management want him to some degree. But at least one thing is certain, I have no intention to make Boss meet Twilight whatsoever.
Come to think about it, Thorax REALLY screwed up a lot of things for my storyline. Fking gay moose glitterbug.
9392690
1. Probably gonna work on my creativity... maybe plan out a few ideas on something to possibly write... then up and quit not even half way because of my relatively short attention span.
2. Yeah, I was instantly reminded of the Skullcrusher/breaker bit. Let's just hope they don't grow mushrooms.
3. Maybe use him for the 'guards try and fail to attack places' comedy?
4. There there... it's alright. It's gonna be alright.
5. As for Thorax, you don't have to use him at all, it's your story. Though if you find a way, perhaps make it where the 'moosification' of him making the changelings colorful... not happen. I mean, really, it is an AU, after all. Either way, if the readers get mad... so what? You don't need to uproot years of writing, plot development, and worldbuilding just for the sake of a few grumps.
Still, shouldn't she at least know of the boss? I mean, he did abduct princess Luna for a time... kind of hard to just miss that.
Anyways, you could at least say there 'are no recorded male changelings with...'
9392785
Official MLP comics. Have a look at that one. not a terrible story, actually.
Off screen (you know, like after DSS/SSS to Straw's eventual peaceful death). I'm not JRR Tolkien to write a history book about nothing actually happening to someone.
9393121
They're tough.
9393151
Chilly is in command of his own Separated, he doesn't count. He'S Nightshade's partner, not underling.
9393186
The secret is that it's made from CORRUPTED!
9393213
Whoah whoah whoah, soothe thine mammaries. I just have problem remembering names and accurate events, not connections, which are the important part of history, not a damn list of dates. And yeah, I think that was supposed to be Shadowstep.
9393226
Europe, that's as much as I'll say. Also, that excerpt really needs to be in an official book. Somewhere, anywhere, please.
9393305
I pa be speshul!
9393330
I actually completely forgot Mana Burn had his own chapter, but I think he'll get to see a tiny bit.
9393339
To be honest, Bucket isn't too much of a threat, compared to the real tossbags around.
9393416
He had a looot of time to think about it.
9393511
1. Perhaps, but it seems to break the Imbalanced universe. At least from what I can tell. Then again, I'm not a writer. Not really.
2. :(
3. By that logic, because Mana Burn is in the hex guard, he can't technically be a part of the Ponyville hive's forces, or vice versa.
4. I can actually see this happening. Heck, would make an interesting subplot...
5. Though thinking about it... Star wars is kind of a retelling of the American Revolutionary War...
6. Fair enough, and yes it certainly needs to be in some sort of book.
7. Heheh...
8. Okay. I doubt it would compare to defeating a god, but okay.
9. I stand by my point.
10. Shall we raise the red alert?
9393982
I have no clue what you're asking, but the observation is about Des.
9394007
Nah, it can very plausibly happen while everyone else is busy elsewhere IF I discount NM being permanently defeated, which is what I think happened there. Not a big deal. If you're talking about NM being quiet after Straw's death, I have no clue where you're getting that it's not true.
I must be explaining it wrong. Chilly isn't in any capacity Nightshade's hive member or a soldier, he is her lover/partner. Physically (and yes, physically is the right word in the context of Corrupted), he has zero authority on Nightshade's Corrupted other than what NS gives him when he needs it. Few smarter ones respect him, but that's all. And if you meant it as if CHILLY was in charge of NS's territory then yeah, no. Of course, if he wanted something important, NS would most likely obey.
Defeating is a very strong word.
Prepare the exterminatus button, inquisitor! WH40K
9394024
Hmm, April 2016. Must have been one of the few moments when I tried to be positive and realized it absolutely doesn't matter. 36 up/downvotes say I was right. Woop woop! Score 1 for pessimism.
9394076
1. That answers my question
2. Well, your the expert of your own story. I was thinking NM could only have one main host/avatar at a time though, even with the ability to have a massive force of underlings. At that time Straw already held that title, so...
-Eh, fair enough.
-I never said a defeat is permanent. Was Harmony not defeated in that battle? In other words, (I am going to use a wrestling metaphor... which is ironically something I know very little about, but it is the best example I got) if the ex-heavyweight champion lost his belt in a match, and then challenges the new champion to a rematch, possibly even winning, does that mean he was any less defeated the first time?
-I don't know much at all about Warhammer. I wish I did though. :(
3. Oh hush. Just look at Halls and Management. You really are starting to do good.
9394307
I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. They're in Manehattan, or am I misremembering something blatantly retarded that I wrote?
9394335
Well, now that I look at it, this does feel off. It could be something I overlooked, but my reasoning was probably something along these lines - Literally daily life by Cadance's side plus the husband-wife shenanigans and Cadance actively trying to keep Shiny alive was much stronger than Twi just being friends, albeit good ones with others who let's say got married and left adventuring behind to live their own lives. The element argument isn't really valid, because at the time of writing, if I recall correctly, elements were already gone from the bearers in favor of the tree of Harmony. They lost the physical artefacts in the box season or something? I know I had a reason for the Elements argument which was based on the timing and current state of the series. I really can't see into the future.
9394434
2 - yeah, and that doesn't interfere with anything in Imbalanced. Timeline-wise, I think the Nightmare Rarity comic takes place before NMM being stopped by Cross in Ponyville in Horn and Wings(?). It actually supports my lore that NM and Dickrod were too weak from being targets of the Elements way too often to be strong enough to stop Harmony in Silver Sun.
The way the entire storyline is based on Void's vision of real victory being freedom for mortals by final destruction of the gods, I didn't consider Harmony defeated, but what you said makes sense.
Neither did I until few weeks ago, but then I stumbled upon a youtube channel called "Bruva Alfabusa" and a comedy series "What if the Emperor had a TTS device". Absolutely god-tier. I can heartily recommend it for a laugh and some insight into basic WH lore.
9394497
1. The order HQ is in a pocket dimension... hold on, let me quote...
2. Eh, still. It's not like the paladins are constantly with Celestia, and are always doing naked push ups with her, but ... well, you remember Bright Star. I believe that was the name... my memory is starting to go sidewise again.
As for what is and isn't canon... I'm pretty sure tentacle abominations, Twilight's 'love' for her brother, and monsters that make rabbits envious are canon at all in MLP... my point? Screw canon! This is an AU!
3.
-fair enough
-okay
-I might look into it one of these days. But my internet is to be cut off soon... about tomorrow.
Wow, just... wow.
More work on the T shirt for you, another great book filed away for me, and guess what time it is...
OVERALL REVIEW TIME!
Okay, the whole story has been done quite well. I was worried it would start getting repetitive after the Crystal Empire, what with the apparent 'Attacked by Queen', 'fight back', 'friendly queen absorbs bad queen', 'find new pocket of survivors', 'repeat' trend, but this broke shortly after.
While I am reminded a lot of Prototype, it still is a completely original story, even if not based on the most original foundations, and once again it is filled with unique and interesting characters, internal conflicts, and even little details like when Twilight just acts... Twilight-y, all serve to make the entire story feel... real, for a lack of a better word.
All in all, it's great, not as good as Shine, but that's a personal preference. I would certainly read a CL side story if you ever got back to writing something in this point in the Imbalanced timeline.
Welp, I got to go. See you when my internet gets turned back on... damn this economy.
9394952
This is something I completely forgot, and I don't even think I used it in any way later unlike with most things with don't seem obvious on the first glance. It's not a big deal considering the barrier separating the pocket dimension can be see-through, but that doesn't change the fact that it's completely pointless - rewrite note.
9394989
Fixed.
9395465
Digging myself from that sh*t without pills or professional help meant relapsing a lot.
9395472
In case of Captain Kirk, if the alien was female, the next step was poke it with a dong.
9395527
A bit of crazy can help.
9395569
Remember how Nightshade had trouble reigning in er instincts? Who'S to say Celestia is immune to temptation...
9395573
Really? Glad you enjoyed.
9395580
The cannon is ready, but now we need to balance it out by adding something to the other shoulder. Perhaps some of the World of Warcraft humorously oversized pauldrons?
9395586
Thank you, and good luck. Blessings from Flow, Hastur, and Joy be with you.
A little exposition heavy, kind of just info dumping in the middle of the story. I think working with it more similairly to Shine of the Silver Sun might have been better (just taking place in the same world with the other stories as a backdrop), but then again this more directly ties into the major characters in the other stories.
The story itself outside that is pretty nice. Interesting and compelling as usual. Tantalizing possibilities. Could the conclusion be within reach?
9547169
Twilight's journals, isn't it?
9547942
No, those are fine, they don't interrupt the flow in the same way, making a special place for background information it would be hard to know about otherwise neatly packaged in a believable format (i.e. Twilight keeping meticulous track of everything).
It's the exposition dumps by characters like Cromach which are much more annoying. It could just be from already having read the relevant stories, but the often long and somewhat tangentially related to the moment at hand explanation of long past events from characters in the middle of the wilderness or who are occupied with other concerns is distracting and a little boring.
I of course understand lowering the barrier of entry for some of you stories (I wouldnt be here without Shine and Management) but I feel like the exposition could either be framed better, made mostly implicit without explicit explanations, or could be contained almost entirely in one place so that for long time readers it doesn't distract from the rest of the story.
How to go about doing it in practice... well I haven't exactly written anything yet so I can't say, but that's the general problem I had with the exposition.
9548286
Oh riiiiight, now I remember.
CL was supposed to be a standalone story originally (and it basically is). I guess this is a side effect of that.
Well, CL is fairly high on the eventual rewrite list (Chilly's chapter, cough cough). I'll consider this problem along with many others.
That reminds me of existence of character from my avatar
9574400
There is a giant time skip between Silver Sun and Corrupted Lands.
9575146
I'm pretty sure you said I must read it before Silver Sun