Was I Abandoned?

by TrebleBass

Abandoned?

C'mon bell... riiiinggg! Gah! Go faster clock! Juuuust. Ooonnnneee. Mooorrreee. Miiinnnuuttteeee!

The clock ticked closer... and closer... until finally....

YES!

The school-bell rang, and all the fillies and colts rushed out to enjoy their weekends ahead with their families and friends. The teacher, of course, was no exception and quickly slipped out the back of the schoolhouse as the foals rushed to their parents. Trotting towards the back of the pack, a pegasus colt walked slowly as two excited foals rushed up to him.

"Hey Horizon! Wait up!"

The colt slowed down and turned to the orange unicorn and green earth colt that were making their way up to him. Each of them with large, ''no schoo'' smiles.

"Oh, hey guys!" the colt said, wearing an exceptionally rare smile.

The orange filly was first to chime into the conversation, "Hey, me and Leaf were going to play ball in the park, wanna come?" Her pleading smile would ordinarily force him to go along, but today was an important day for Horizon.

"Sorry," he said lowering his grin a little, "But today my mom is picking me up, she's off from work for the entire weekend!" Finishing the sentence, he couldn't help but beam with a smile twice as big as before.

The earth pony finally added to the conversation, but with a slightly angered expression "Aw c'mon lemon! Just for twenty minutes, she can wait that long! Please? It isn't fun with just me and sunset!"

Sunset glanced over at leaf, with a slightly angrier face than his; "Leaf you dolt-colt, he's going to hang out with his mom! She works, what, like a hundred hours a day?"

"Yea," Horizon threw in, "And I could spend those twenty minutes talking and laughing with her! Also, why do you always call me lemon? I'm not even yellow! My mane and body are both Blue! Cerulean if you want 'ta get technikacal"

"I guess he thinks your sour," Sunset chimed in, "I, for one, think your sweet... more like a mango." Her chuckle calmed Horizon down, it always did. She was a kind filly, and he was glad she was his friend. Quickly realizing the slight blush now on his cheeks, he tried to hide it through a mumbled remark of "I'm still not yellow though..."

Smiling, whether at Horizon's embarrassment or at his statement, Sunset spoke up. "Well, c'mon leaf, we better get going then! Bye Horizon!"

"Yea, see'ya!"

"Bye guys!" Horizon waved his hoof as his two friends walked away and waved their own hooves at him.

As his friends were out of sight, Horizon took a look at the sun.

She should be here any minute now!

He shook in excitement as he sat down on the school steps. He stared down the path that led up to the building, waiting for an orange mare to come walking with a huge grin.

So... he waited...

And waited...

I guess she's just a little late from work, no problem! More time to think of fun stuff to do when she gets back! Oh! I know! We can go down to the park together! Maybe have a catch or something!

And waited...

Okay... Now this is getting a little ridiculous... Where the heck is she! She said she would pick me up right after school! It's been like a bazillion minutes! She's gonna have to explain something when she gets here!

And waited...

Horizon moved his glance from the path down to the cement steps he sat on. His smile faded She... she's late... Big meanie! I could have been with my friends! If she doesn't come soon, I'm gonna tell daddy on her!

And waited...

His eyes were clenched shut, and tears began to well up from their corners. That... big LIAR! She said, she said right after school! She lied! She's a big lying meanie head! She... she better be hurt!

He came to a realization. What if, she WAS hurt?

If she was then... what would I do? She's my mommy! I can't lose her! I need to go find her!

He stood up, ready to fly off to wherever his mom was! Crouched, and using his legs as springs, Horizon... slumped back down onto the steps.

What if... she just left me here...

His tears began to pour from his face. He... wanted his mom.

What if she just abandoned me here? And... and she doesn't care about me? I thought she loved me...

He felt the sun moving across the sky above him.

She... doesn't love me...she... hates me...

Horizon's train of thought was cut short by a tapping sound nearby. Looking up from his gloomy stare, he saw an Orange unicorn panting in front of him. With a look of despair, she opened her mouth to talk to him.

"HORIZON! I'm so sorry I'm late honey, they held me for some paperwork and I--" "MOMMY"

Horizon leaped on his mother, letting his tears run down her coat. He began choking up while still trying to tell his mother how much he missed her.

"MOMMY... I THOUGHT... I THOUGHT YOU LEFT... LEFT ME HERE!"

His mothers golden eyes looked at him, wet at the sight of her crying son.

"Oh honey, I would never leave you! I love you honey, don't you forget that!"

"But...I was waiting here for hours, and... and you didn't show up!"

Nuzzling her son, she apologized for everything.

"Honey, I would never leave you... ever."

Horizon stopped looking into his mothers eyes and instead shoved is face into her neck, feeling her warm embrace. She rubbed her head against his to relax and calm him. Finally, she took a look at the sun. A bit worried, she double checked the time by also taking out a watch from her saddlebag. Three Fifty?

"Wait... you were waiting here for hours?"

Horizon looked up, confused. "Yea, I sat here for a long time!"

"But," His mother spoke back, in an even more confused state, "I'm only 20 minutes late."

Comments

[TwilightFreakingSparkle]

Haha. Time goes sooo slow when your worried and bored. Especially when your still a kid.

[Dark Lightning]

i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/200/296/Waht%20a%20twist.jpg
Kinda, it was pretty good.

[Bluebox]

I love stories like this! Short, sweet, and original!

[Naion]

awwwww, i loved this!

[BR]

Its like me when I am in class.

[xxGamer101xx]

Reminds me when I was a kid.

Very nice job.

[XiF]

I'm only 20 minuted late

Good story, tho.

[Fireseeker]

This reminds me so much of that episode of Arthur where Brain and Binky wait for their parents after football/soccer practice. This story is the exact pony equivalent of that episode.
blog.parents-choice.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/20111010-arthur1.jpg
Anyone else remember that show? Geez, I feel old now...
Plus, how do I remember names and details of a kid's show I haven't watched in years?

Also, on a more related note, I liked this story

[mau5!]

nice

[Johnjohns]

So he could have played ball with his friends anyway.
Short and Sweet!

[XtremelyXtreme]

It's pretty good. A little on the short side, and you got to the point a little too quickly. Plus, some minor grammatical errors.

All those aside, I still enjoyed the story. Good job

-- Jack

[somerandompegasister]

@Fireseeker Yeah I thought of that episode, too. ^_^

[somerandompegasister]

You had some capitalization, grammar, and punctuation issues throughout the story, and I feel like you could have been more descriptive. You could have gone into more depth on Horizon's relationship with his mother, why exactly she was never around...background stuff like that, to make the story more fleshed out. It's a good idea, though, and very cute.

[somerandompegasister]

(Also, this didn't end up being really tragic, so I'd tag it differently, too.)

[TrebleBass]

691438
lol thanks

[Arco Iris]

short sweet simple, but i was expecting more also you might want to check your grammar and spelling all in all thats /

[Cawfee]

Have a yay! ..... you know what? have two more!

[Everfree Bliss]

691438 Wait how did I see the only a few minutes late coming? Waiting for a little bit does feel like an eternity though.

[TexotliKauayotl]

Though there were a few mechanical errors, I did enjoy it! I know it wasn't tagged as comedy, but somehow the title and description almost made it seem like it was going to be one, at least to me. o.o

I can certainly empathize with some of Horizon's feelings though, those racing thoughts... (maybe it's the anxiety)

That... big LIAR! She said, she said right after school! She lied! She's a big lying meanie head! She... she better be hurt!

His poor mother though! :c Oh, how scared I would be to be a mother...although people already see me as one so I can't escape >.< Anyway...I think you captured that childlike mindset pretty well. >w<

And I liked the characters, despite how short it was. I almost want to see them star in another story ^.^; It just felt like there was certainly much more of a story to be told, with all the leading information you packed into just over 1000 words (perhaps that also hastens the pace, having all these pieces of information at once).
691614
I certainly agree; while I imagine it was meant to be short, I feel that this had the feeling or the potential of being part of (the introduction to?) a larger story.

If you'd like, I can offer edits or grammatical/stylistic feedback on this when I'm more awake...though being an old story, I'm sure it's not touched upon very much.

691439
Yes, I do remember that show :P But I didn't watch much of it so I wouldn't know that episode >.< I am fairly old now though, compared to many of my friends, come to think of it... (hehe, not to mention I also feel old when some of the people I've met more recently have gotten into MLP:FiM 4-5 years after I have o_o)

(err...sorry, I got carried away with replying; I blame tiredness >.<)