Improvement is a dire mistress.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Mmm... I don't know what to say
6579025
what do you mean?
I'm impressed. It's really hard to write for characters that are truly crazy, chaotic evil, but I'm actually interested in what Cranky and these cult leaders have to say, as opposed to them just cackling and making veiled threats whenever they open their mouths. Time will tell if they manage to make strong or compelling characters, but off the bat I think you've gotten farther than a lot of writers do.
A few grammatical hiccups and some weird word choices but pretty interesting overall.
This is so dark that it is scary.
Is this story based off of another story?
6608585
This is based off Equestria Divided by pooryorickda.
Its an alternate universe that has a following.
The whole idea of the Cake Twins having half the face of the other twin stitched on their own face is so delightfully twisted. Damn. Daymn. (In other words, perfect for the Cult.)