Chapter 29 - Family Feud
“So? What made the oh-so-busy Police Commissioner leave his office today, hmm? Did crime take a break? Discord asked impertinently. “Or maybe you were finally fired?”
The Police Commissioner and father of the boy handcuffed in front of him ignored his son’s sass and took off his hat and placed it on the table as he took his seat opposite to his son. “What happened, Discord?” He asked with a completely serious face.
“Why? Didn’t you read the arrest report?” The boy shot back brazenly. “Isn’t what you do all day? Besides sucking up to the Mayor, I mean. Oh by the way, Mayor Ivory Scroll? Total Mil….”
“I thought we had a deal Discord.” Maxwell cut his son off; otherwise he would’ve continued to blabber on and on trying to get a reaction out of him. “I’ll let you borrow a police unit and equipment for your little stun and you promised you’ll behave and not get expelled.”
“Undeniably! But I wasn’t misbehaving!”
“Oh no? Then what do you call taking my car from the garage without telling me or asking for permission?” Not to mention his old clothes from his closet.
“I figured it was better to ask forgiveness than permission.” Discord just shrugged off without a care of the situation he was in. “Besides, I thought I could take it for a ride and return it before you came back. Hell, I was even gonna replenish the gas.” Unless he wrecked the car it was a victimless misdemeanor. “You weren’t suppose to notice.”
Maxwell allowed himself a mild smug tone after he searched inside one of his pockets and pulled out a cell phone. “Lucky for you, I receive a notification on my phone every time that car is driven.”
“Curse you stupidly convenient App!” Seriously adults should be banned from using Apps that get their kids into trouble.
“Color me surprised when the officers I sent to investigate informed me that the perpetrator was none other than my own son.” He said as he put his phone away. “Frankly I’m disappointed.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time.” Discord quipped again.
“This is serious Discord!” The Commissioner pressed. “I’m getting tired of dealing with the messes your attitude causes. I can’t simply sweep them under the rug and have everyone pretend nothing happened.”
“Yeah, yeah, you told me already.” The boy continued to waive off his father’s words which was beginning to irritate the man.
“Why did you do this Discord? And what do you want from me?” The man sighed exasperated.
“If you weren’t so busy all the time you should’ve known the answer to both of your questions.” The boy responded, this time sounding a little more seriously than before.
“Not this again.” Maxwell pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m a very busy man. I’m in charge of several different precincts; I also have to deal with the District Attorney, the Mayor and The city Council. So, sorry that I can’t spend every single waking moment with you.”
“If you are so busy, why are you doing here?” If he could he would’ve crossed his arms in accentuate his dissatisfaction.
Not able to take much more from his son disrespect, Maxwell stood up from the chair and looked down at his son with narrowed eyes. “Indeed. Why am I even here?”
“Sir! If I may be allowed to speak in private with you.” Captain Bolt interrupted preventing either of them from saying something they would regret.
“Of course.” The Comissioner answered with a nod before turning to his son. “Wait here, until I figure out what to do with you.” And with that, he picked up his hat from the table, place it on his head left the room, entering into the adjacent one behind the reflective glass from where they could observe the handcuffed boy.
“If I may be allowed to speak bluntly, Commissioner?” Captain Bolt asked for permission, causing his superior to sigh.
“Bolt, you don’t have to ask for my permission.” The superior officer said shaking his head side to side. “We worked so many cases together, apprehended hundreds of criminals, save my life more times I can remember.”He smiled fondly at the memories of the good old times. “Not to mention you married my sister-in-law and are my son’s Godfather. You can always give it to me straight.”
“In that case.” The Captain of the precinct cleared his throat. “I believe you are been too harsh with the boy, Max.”
“And what do you want me to do?” Max sighed exasperated once more. He was too tired for this. “If I let him go, he’ll continue to believe he can do what he wants, whenever he wants and get away with it.”
“Somehow, that reminds me of a young detective whose captain always dubbed as happy trigger loose cannon.” Bolt said with a small smile hoping to lift the mood. “One that ended up having to be paired with a no-nonsense by-the-book partner, who had to remind him not to break the law in every single case they took.”
“But we always managed to capture the bad guys, you and I.” Max allowed himself to smile for a bit before he dropped it. “And see how that turned out.” He said with a grimace.
“Even when everyone said you were making a mistake, you always did what was right in the end; no matter the price.” Bolt nodded in remembrance of that fateful investigation. “That made you the best of us.”
“If only parenting was as easy as cracking cases, busting heads and having to deal with the old Captain.” Heck, even getting shot at wasn’t as stressful as this. “You say Discord reminds you of me, but at least I answered to the Old Ball Buster.” Ah! He would never forgive the nickname for their old captain. “If anything he is like his mother.”
“He does take a lot after Eris.” Bolt conceded. “But the one he looked up to the most is you.”
“Then I guess those days are over.” The commissioner crossed his arms and closed his eyes resigned.
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” Bolt turned his head to look through the glass at Discord. “What that boy craves is approval, YOUR approval.”
“Then he has a strange way of asking for it.”
“That also reminds me of you trying to get the Old Ball Buster’s approval.” Bolt said with a laugh. “How many times did you two butted heads just because you wanted to prove yourself to him by doing things YOUR way, instead of listening to him?” When his old partner remained silent, he knew he hit the nail. “All you ever wanted was for him to say: ‘Good job, Maxwell! You’re a great detective.' and a pat on the back.” This caused his friend to laugh.
“As if the old grump could ever speak to me without yelling.” Heck, it worried him more when the Captain didn't yelled at him.
“All of Discord’s actions and troubles he gets into are a cry for attention.” Bolt said getting back to the topic at hand. “I’m not saying he doesn’t need discipline for his actions, but what he needs right now it’s his father, not the Police Commissioner.”
“As always you seem to have all the answers.” Maxwell let out a small chuckle. “Remind me why I’m the one who has to wear these badges and this stupid hat.”
“Because when you ask me to take the job for you I said no.”
“Oh right.”
Suddenly their small moment was interrupted by a knock on the door.
“Excuse me, Sir?” It was Sgt. Falcon who entered the room. “I didn’t mean to interrupt but we have a … situation.”
“What sort of situation?/ What sort of situation?” Both the Commissioner and the Captain asked at the same time. And Maxwell had to remain composed and faked a cough to avoid yelling “Jinx” like he had done so many times in the past to his long-time partner. “Sorry, what is it Sergeant?”
“We have someone here who wants to see …the detainee.” The man avoided the use of the words “your son” since he was told the Commissioner visit was ‘all business’.
“Did Discord already have his “One phone call”? Maxwell asking giving his old partner a sideway glance.
“We stopped giving him those since he used his last call for a stripper and twenty boxes of pizza.” Who knew there was actually a place called “Strippers & Pizza” where you could call to order both? “He charged it to the precinct and it was non-refundable, so inadvertently ended up having a party. Lucky for us we all forgotten about Detective Coffee Run’s birthday so we pretended it was for him.”
“So then, who is looking for my son, Sergeant?”
“Well, you see…”
[x-x-x]
“Look there he is.” Sweetie Belle said looking at a figure walking slowly away. “This is your chance, Scorpan!”
“I-I don’t really know…” The boy gulped audibly. “Maybe we can postpone this for a later day?” He suggested hoping to get away from this.
“The more you postpone it the harder it will get.” Applebloom pulled out one of those classic sayings to convince him otherwise. “Come on Scorpan, what else is there to lose?” Thinking about it, he was already at the bottom of the barrel so the only place to go was up.
“Yes, but…”
“Stop being a scaredy-cat and go.” Scotaloo who was running out of patience, give Scorpan a “friendly” push in the right direction.
Scorpan stumbled a few feet forward and when he turned towards the Crusaders, he found out the girls had scurried away around a corner leaving him with a little bit of “privacy”, but not far enough as to keep an eye on him.
Sighing in defeat, the boy accepted his fate and convinced himself one last time to not back down. With a decisive step forward and a big breath, Scropan was ready.
“Brother!”
[x-x-x]
After his “fateful” encounter with that Rainbow haired girl who professed to him her desire to “put a stop to him”, Tirek spent his time in his empty classroom, resting and recovering from his withdrawal.
Now he felt much better than he did in the morning, but he still felt crappy. But hey, at least the body spasms were gone and taking a step didn’t felt like hundred of needles piercing his body. He ought to thank the old lady for that cider, and probably ask for more.
Speaking of which, after his well deserved rest, Tirek finally left Room E-5 and made his way towards the old lady’s house to keep his word from yesterday. And after seeing whatever was it the old woman wanted to show him, he could finally decline her work offer and never had to deal with her nonsense again.
Tirek walked the hallways towards the front entrance, thankfully by now it looked like everyone was already gone and even if they remained, the probability of encountering one was low, and much less someone who would actually stand in his way.
And soon after, his momentarily peaceful walk was interrupted by a very familiar voice.
“Brother!”
Turning around, he found Scorpan walking up to him. It seemed that his “smart” little brother still didn’t get his previous message.
“I told you to never call me that.” He reminded ominously. But it seemed that his cold tone didn’t work this time, because Scorpan continued his approach.
And once he was right before of him, Scorpan pulled out a colorful piece of folded paper and held it in front of him. “Please Tirek, accept this.”
Tirek could’ve blown him off right there and then, but even he wasn’t that above the desire known as human curiosity. “What is this?” he asked as he snatched the paper out of his brother’s hands.
“It’s an apology letter.” Scorpan answered bashfully, slightly embarrassed by the deed. “I thought about what you said before and… I thought that maybe you’ve been angry with me…” He confessed. “Maybe I did or say something that made you not want to talk to me anymore and… if that’s true then I want to apologize for whatever I did that made you mad at me!”
Tirek looked down at the piece of paper in his hands and he could see how much it was decorated and how neatly his brother’s handwriting was in his written apology.
“Even if I don’t remember exactly what I did, there’s no excuse for my actions! I want to apologize and let you know I make up to you! Whatever you want! I’ll do it!”
“Whatever I want…?” Tirek repeated softly.
“Yes! I’ll do anything for you!” Scorpan exclaimed happily thinking that he was finally making some progress in repairing his relationship with his brother.
After a few seconds of deep silence, Tirek finally responded. “There’s something you can do…” He say in a very low tone.
“Anything! No matter what, I’ll do it!” Even if he ended up embarrassing himself in front of the school forever, he would do anything to finally get his big brother back and be a family again.
“The first thing you can do is stop calling me brother!” Tirek declared with a scowl and then tore his brother’s letter in half right in front of his face. “The second thing, if for you to forget about pulling any more of these stupid things. I don’t need your apologies.”
“B-but…” Scorpan tried to object but the words didn’t come out as he felt as if someone had made knot inside his throat.
“We may live in the same house, go to the same school and share the same class… but that doesn’t mean we are anything to each other.”
“B…But mom and…”
“Just because my father married your mother doesn’t mean you should be worth anything to me.” Tirek silenced Scorpan with his cold unfeeling words. “Just like she isn’t my real mother, I am not your...”
“NO!” Scorpan managed to cry before he did the unthinkable, he threw a punch towards his brother.
It was a shame that despite what he was feeling his emotionally packed punch was easily caught in one of Tirek’s massive hands.
“Useless.” He mocked. “It really shows the difference between you and I.” then he also did something he had never done before. He grabbed Scorpan by the neck of his shirt and picked him up, lifting him a feet in the air. “Had it been anyone else who did what you just did, I would’ve turned them into a smear in the ground.” He growled menacingly. “But you? You are not even someone who deserves it.”
“T-T-Ti…rek…w-why…?”
“Get it through that head of yours!” He scowled some more. “I don’t want you involved in my life anymore!” Then Tirek thoughtlessly dropped him unto the ground where he landed unceremoniously on his rear end. “The sooner you accept this, the better." And with that he turned around and left, leaving Scorpan behind with nothing but the tore pieces of his apology. "Stay they hell away from me." were his last words before his disappeared through the front entrance.
By now, tears were already flowing like cascades from his eyes, but he tried his best to not let out any sobs. Scorpan then tried to stand up and regain some of the dignity he had left, but he found out to late that his legs decided to turn into jelly and made him fall down again, this time to his knees and his hands unto the floor. With his head down, Scorpan couldn’t help but stare at the tore pieces of the later he painstakingly wrote to properly express his sense of regret towards his br…towards Tirek. And what did he get from his effort? Just a torn piece of paper and an equally torn heart.
Looking at the destroyed pieces of his hard work brought not even more even more sadness and tears but a feeling of anger, directed not at his brother but towards himself, which soon turned into a feeling of deep shame. Shame for how stupid and pathetic he was.
All this sadness, this anger, this shame; it was too much for him to handle let alone hold back. So no more control over his emotions, Scorpan let out a scream for the excruciating pain he was feeling.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Yet unleashing the vocals for his pain was not enough, so then with all the strength he could muster, he punched the floor sending a torrent of pain from his knuckles thorough his entire arm. But even then, the pain in his hand couldn’t compare with the pain in his chest, so he continued punching the floor with his fist again and again as hard as he could. As he did this, Scorpan realized the more pain he felt in his hand, the lesser the ache in his heart became, so he continued punching the floor with reckless abandon.
“SCORPAN STOP!” A feminine voice called out for him and grabbed him from behind trying to pull him away, but he didn’t stop he pushed himself away from their hold and continue inflicting pain upon his hand.
“STOP! YOU'RE HURTING YOURSELF!” Another girlish voice called out, and this person also took hold of him, this time by the arm to prevent him from continuing.
Scorpan wanted to tell the voices to leave him be, but only more pained cries came out of his lumped throat.
“THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!” yelled a third and final voice. Scorpan tried to struggle even more but then an intense pain on the back of his head made him loose consciousness and was transported to a cold dark place. But at least, the pain was gone.
[x-x-x]
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FOR GOD'S SAKE TIREK!! What did Scorpan even do? I'm guessing it was along the lines of somehow causing the very first fight that made Tirek "hunted" as the big bad. Probably by accident as is shown in the earlier chapters, but PLEASE OH PLEASE TIREK, FORGIVE SCORPAN AND BE AS CLOSE AS YOU ONCE WERE!!!
I am curious about why Tirek hates Scorpan so much. We know the story of their Equestrian counter parts, that Scorpan befriended Star Swirl and ratted Tirek out to the princesses who then imprisoned him in Tartarus.
Here, unless there is some instance of Scorpan tattling on Tirek to an authority figure that Tirek refuses to let go of, I really can't tell what is setting Tirek off so bad. Either way, it seems that Tirek has made his position clear and Scorpan did not take it very well, to the point that the CMC had to knock him out. Seems like a bit much for the situation, but whatever, it stopped him hurting himself.
Poor Scorpan...
And who's wanting to talk to Dis- It's Sunset, isn't it?
Btw, you could remove the Human or Crossover tag and replace it with Drama. There no real need for the Human tag since the EQG tag is there. And is there a crossover in this? I don't even know.
7022952 Strength draws enemies. Tirek is the strongest man in the city, with the ability to take on any other fighter. His weakness is his love for his brother, if he had any. They may have been close, but proximity to him is approaching death. By keeping Scorpan at a distance, by showing he doesn't love his brother, he in protecting Scorpan. Look what happened at the last school: Tirek protected his brother, and in the end he was in more danger.
7023252
Wow, thank you!
Now Scorpan just needs to understand that
7023245
It's a pseudo-crossover with G.I joe. Real American Hero. With some events from as a backdrop to this fic, explaing the state of things like the uneven population (more women than men), the continued existance of high schooler gangs and that unexplained transforming car from RR.
7028788
(Writing this from my phone, so sorry for the mistakes)
Sombra isn't exactly a sociopath, but he aint the posterboy for mental health. There is a reason why he is the way he is, heck, it's a combination of several things (with one major cathalyst) from which Sombra's parents are a part of.
His damaged psyque it's visually internalized by Freud theories of ID, EGO and SUPEREGO. Which we all know are total B.S. but I believe Sombra is the kind of guy who would subscribe to that theory even though he actually pictures it wrong.
Chrysalis. I've been planing a BIG scene with her, but it keeps getting push back while the rest of the stories unfold.
Yes, this was mostly a transition but I promise Chrysalis will have her moment to shine.
Morpho, or bane (although he isn't wearing any masks) is indeed a traitor, and his motivations are a little spoilery, but for now power and influece would suffice for now.
Grogar... I've actually never seen the G1 episode that featured him so... yeah.
I'll check the episode out and see what springs to mind, but I'll not make any promises.
Now about Discord and his song.
I'll call myself out on this one and say I'm a tease on this one. This Discord is human and not the one from Equestria (unfortunately for some) and I can see why people will think they are the same for all the references I make him say and do.
Just like how the real Discord breaks the 4th wall, the human one leans on it without realizing it.
You can rationalize it as maybe there's a connection between the two Discords.
But first and foremost it is me doing stupid jokes.
Also, not to that I want to dissapoint you, but Captain Bolt isn't RD's father. Sorry.
I said in a comment before that I was thinking of making him a police officer, not the captain of the precinct. Again sorry for the confusion.
But in the bright side, your awrsome suggestion for Discord's name made it. In fact, I had another far sillier name for him, so thanks for the save.
I selected Maxwell as a first name because I felt calling him Maximus was pushing it a little; And as a reference to the term "Max Enthropy"
Thanks for your awesome reviews and I di hope to see you soon.
Alright! First review I write in the comfort of my home in a while. Let me tell you, I kind of missed it.
So, quite a lot happens in this chapter, while little at the same time. I mean, it´s two scenes, but they are pretty big.
Let´s start with Discord.
Here he is, Discord´s father. Commissioner Entropy. The father of an insane badass, the one person Discord appears to have a semblance of respect for.
I´ll be honest, by the way the previous chapter ended, with Discord seeming genuinely concerned, I thought Entropy would be different. But you know what? I like being surprised. And a guy with such a name as Entropy should surprise its audience.
First off, he lent Discord the truck and those two cops. WHAT THE HELL? I can´t tell if that´s incredibly irresponsible or unbelievably awesome.
I mean, Discord promised he would behave as long as he got to make an entrance like that? I´ll be honest, I´m pretty sure Entropy imagined the whole scenario of his son entering school like that and he laughed so hard he knew he had to let him pull it off.
I like this idea, really, the fact that Discord possesses some qualities his father actually admires, such as his creativity and boldness, while leveling it out by having Discord admiring his father in return. So far you´ve just said Discord looks up to Entropy more than to his mom (I´ll get to that later). You´ve established that (alongside a lot more, but again, I´ll get to that in a moment) and that´s great. Now you need to show it; display some qualities that Discord can admire from his father. He definitely likes his father, hell, his resentment comes from the fact that he can´t spend enough time with him because of his job.
Hold on a second. Is it possible that Discord is so anti authority because of emotional association?
Let me explain. Entropy is always busy, which means he cannot spend much time with his kid, which leads to Discord´s unhappiness. Discord connects the dots and finds out the responsible for his father´s absence is his profession, an authority, therefore, according to his mindset authority and organization is unhappiness and he doesn´t want to suffer it.
I´m not saying that is the only reason for his behavior; that would be insultingly simple, there must be more than that. But it´s a good insghtful look into his character.
That´s two characters with daddy issues.
Now, more of Entropy. I get the feeling he is a toned down Discord. In that he is much orderly than his chaotic son. Then again, it has been mentioned that Discord takes after his mother. And yet he admires his father more, isn´t that interesting.
Do you know what I think? Of course you want, you fucking adore me
I believe that Eris was a part of the family for a few years, maybe until Discord was around 8 or 10. He got most of his tricks from her, his charm, his ideals and then... she vanished. She decided to leave because she couldn´t quite feel comfortable in one place. She might have left a note or not, maybe there was another man (or woman) or not, the point is she left.
Which left Discord all alone with his father. Of course he looks up to his father, seeing he was the one who stayed. He butts heads with him more often because of his pain over Eris´s loss, but he still admires his old man.
Entropy is trying his hardest to understand his son, but doesn´t quite succeed. He spoils Discord a little by giving him a "get out of jail" card, lending him police equipment (now I know where he got most of his gas bombs) but still tries to be firm from time to time and this confrontation of ideas just ends up antagonizing with Discord.
Entropy doesn´t quite hit me as an irresponsible parent, he just seems pretty lost.
I know it´s far fetched, but that´s my theory on the matter.
Anyway, I really liked the conversation between Discord and Entropy. Seriously, I had no trouble believing these two are father and son; they way they get at each other´s nerves, how they express themselves, that familiar smugness... It´s great, simply great.
Just to show how good it is, look at all I´ve been able to deduce from their brief discussion. I might be imaginative, but I need fuel to get it going and you clearly gave me a lot to work with. So, well done!
Now, about establishing Entropy. Even though I really enjoy how you build your characters, there´s this line that really bugs me:
It´s just too rushed and sloppy. That´s not something you tell someone you already know.
I think I understand where this comes from.
Film and series are a visual media, so in order to give their characters some background they need to opt for several ways; flashbacks, revealing shots, or just exposition. Which is fine, we need some context to understand the story. But this is a written work. You dispose of narration to tell whatever you want, you don´t need to force this contrived dialogue in order to fill us in. Bolt and Entropy already know each other, their relationship and interactions should be more natural.
That big chunk of information should have been given to the readers by the narrator. Just keep in mind that film and literature are pretty different. I am aware that you know the difference and that this was just a sudden slip-up, but try to keep an eye open.
Now, as for the interactions between Bold and Entropy, I must say I like it. There´s enough chemistry (non romantic) between them to make their friendship believable. However, one of the best parts has to be when they are both about to say "Jinx". It´s brief, it´s subtle, but it does express pretty well how close they are. Just one word and we can tell that they are close friends. I really enjoy subtle moments like those. Interaction between characters can be told, but must be proven, and in this regard you´ve succeeded.
We also get some more exposition, but in this occasion they are mesmerizing, so the delivery does make sense in here. Hell, you managed to include both character development and exposition in one conversation, and that is pretty damn impressive.
Mysterious visitor. I must congratulate you for your audacity on this one. By sending in both Sunset and Sonata this cliffhanger does create some intrigue. Well played.
And of course, the best joke of the entire chapter. For such a serious and plot driven chapter, that joke meant the world to me. But seriously, using your one phone call to order pizza and a stripper? My god, that is fucking brilliant. Your Discord is so freaking amazing; never change
And now we get into some... somber territory. Maybe I should have saved that pun for a chapter featuring Sombra...
Anyway, the long awaited confrontation comes. The second long awaited confrontation. How is Tirek always getting into this ones?
But this one is psychological!
Alright. I will say this, and I really regret to say this but it felt kind of... underwhelming.
I don´t know, I don´t think it was as big as it should have been. And why? Seriously, you clearly made it to be big. Why didn´t I get that impression? I think that maybe, and just maybe, the narration wasn´t strong enough. Which is weird, because I really like how you write violent moments, and in a way this one is. But I think I felt it was a bit too rushed. I don´t know, I got the impression that you were on a hurry to finishing writing.
If that´s the case you should know that we are quite patient with your work and can hold on while you perfect it.
Anyway.
Scorpan walks up to Tirek and surprisingly, he isn´t intimidated this time. Actually, he is, but that´s not stopping him. I like that, that shows how much he´s been evolving through the entire fic.
He hands over the note and immediately goes into submission role, again. Not that I´m complaining, far from it, it is in character.
Then Tirek acts like an asshole and while I was able to sympathize with him in every single chapter so far in this occasion I couldn´t.
I think it´s because this sudden bit of cruelty seems a little sporadic. I know what is going on through this guy´s mind thanks to past chapters, but Scorpan doesn´t, what makes me wonder why he idolizes his brother so much.
That is, unless you meant to portray Tirek unsympathetically to show how he is from Scorpan´s perspective. That is actually... kinda brilliant.
Hell, that would be pretty clever! If you were going for that, I like it.
I also loved, LOVED the part when Scorpan attacked Tirek. That was pretty badass. Like a beaten up spouse punching back his abuser and then resulting futile. The defenselessness of the character was also quite palpable in this scene.
However, my main issue is still how irredeemable Tirek is here. This might sound far fetched, but... it feels kind of out of character. Maybe it´s because I´m used to pitying the guy, but this coldness just seems unnatural. Again, maybe I am just disappointed in Tirek. I´ve seen him do a lot of progress since the beginning, and this bit of violence kind of hurts. Unless, again, you intended this to happen.
Goddammit, you diabolical genius. I seriously can´t tell if I was supposed to feel this way or not; you´ve confused the hell out of me.
You know what? I´m giving you the benefit of the doubt and trust that you wanted the readers to put into question if Tirek deserves our sympathy or not. However, I still would like to know the reason why Scorpan looks up so much to this guy. Scorpan is a smart kid, he should know better. There must be something else we are not seeing yet, some sort of kindness only Scorpan can see in Tirek...
Fuck it, I´m not commenting on this issue until I´m given more information on the nature of these two´s really fucked up relationship.
As for the breaking down scene I like how you included the self abuse in there. In fact, a part I greatly enjoyed is how the narrator "forgets" about the CMC´s names. Scorpan is so hurt that he cannot think rationally anymore and can´t even recognize his friends. That is both brilliant and tragic.
The "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO" is a little cheesy, though. I would cut it out and just leave the part that says that he´s screaming. It´s more heartbreaking in that way.
So I think that´s pretty much it.
I do urge you to consult an editor or at least revise what you´ve written before submitting it. I´ve seen quite a few temporal typos, some which are clearly a finger slip, but in others you got the temporal tense wrong or conjugated incorrectly.
So all in all, it was a pretty good chapter. Not one of my favorites, but there´s no doubt in its quality. So keep up the great work and remember to take your time whenever you are writing. Your readers, and yourself will appreciate the difference
And Sunset is visiting Discord now, I believe at least
I can't wait for another chapter
You could remove the human tag. You already have the Equestria Girls tag.