The Students from St. Everfree

by Morex25

Prologue

Prologue – The End of a War.

Any other day at this hour people, especially students, would be asleep by now. But this night at a certain school, it was livelier than ever. And by the looks of it, it would get a whole lot vivacious.

“So you came after all.” Said a tall girl with long dark cerulean hair dressed completely in black. “I don’t know if to call you brave or just stupid.” This jab caused the laughter of several dozen of others who were standing behind the dark beauty, all of them wearing black and with several makeshift weapons in their hands.

The person who were laughing at, was a tall and very build looking young man with white hair, who stood entirely calm despite the danger standing in from of him. But before he could even get a word in, someone else answered back.

“Typical of a broad like you, bringing useless minions to a fight.” A young man with flowing black hair was the one to intervene as he walked and stood next to the white haired one. “You don’t deserve the title of Queen of this school.” He said coolly, not like an insult but a fact. “The only one with royal title should be ME!”

“Wow, all the coolness you just had, evaporated in an instant. That’s why no one takes you seriously, man.” A third young man with messy hair and dishevel looks laughed, much to everyone’s irritation, as he too joined the other two in the upcoming conflict. “Still, you may have a point.”

“So, you brought reinforcements, huh?” The so called Queen of the school said with almost peeked interest. “No matter, you aren’t a match for me or my subordinates.” Then she grinned maliciously. “If you surrender and swear loyalty to me, I’m might let you go away with just a small punishment.”

“Funny. I was about to say the same to you.” The young man with the flowing black hair said as he unsheathed a sword he had brought with him for this glorious occasion. “If you beg on your knees I might show mercy.”

“You should hear what comes out of your mouth; no wonder everyone thinks you’re a creep.” The dishevel looking one jabbed once more at his sword wielding companion while playing with his white bushy eyebrows before turning once more to the “Queen” and her “army”. “So, are we here to party or what?” he joked as he cracked his neck in preparation.

“More like a bloodbath.” The Queen’s smirk grew in size. Despite not voicing it, she was glad it had come down to a fight. “After I get rid of you three, the school is all mine!”

“I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you.” Another voiced cut in. Everyone turned to the side and found out another person leading another “army” of their own. “This school will become the utopia I, I mean, we always wanted, after I get rid of all of you delinquents.”

“The Student Body President.” The Queen sneered in anger. “What the hell are you doing here?!”

The Student Body President, a young girl with long purple hair with light purple and aquamarine highlights tied in a ponytail, looked at the gathered “delinquents” with disdain. “I heard through the grapevine that all the ´´bad apples´´ were gathering tonight. And now we can finally get rid of those who spoil the perfect and organized nature of our school.”

“Ha, you wish!” The Queen said dismissively before she went back to grinning. “You and your over-glorified hall monitors had being a pain on my side for too long, and now that you are all here, I’ll get rid of you too.”

“Nothing can beat me or my School Disciplinary Committee, you delinquent scum.” And with one graceful swing of her arm, the School President unleashed full length her retractable steel baton. “Prepare to be disciplined!” and as soon as she said that, the members of her Disciplinary Committee also unleashed their own steel batons and, to the shock of everyone else involved, with the simultaneous pressing of a button every steel rod lighted up in electricity.

“Whoa, now those are some glow sticks!” the dishevel boy with the bushy brows commented as he brought his hands inside his pockets. “I hope I brought enough “surprises” for this party.”

“A battle of two armies! Truly this is a glorious battle for a King such as I!” the boy with flowing black hair celebrated as he prepared his sword for what probably was the greatest battle of his life.

“Hmmp” and the boy with white hair who had remained silent since the whole thing started finally opened his mouth. “I don’t give a crap about any of this; I just came here for my brother.” He had received a letter telling him that his little brother had been captured and that if he wanted to see him again, he had to come to the school past midnight. And along the way, these two tagged along thinking they would get to show the Queen a lesson.

And now he was involved in this whole frickin’ mess.

*Sigh*

Whatever.

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”

And with a shout the battle for the fate of St. Everfree had begun.

Author's Note:

Why do I punish myself doing this? sigh.
After been gone for such a long time, I'm sure people are going to ask me about my other stories.
I apologize but I probably no longer continue with any of them. Not that I don't care, but I can't get the inspiration to continue them. This really saddens me. I just hope that the people who read and liked those stories can forgive me. And I hope it inspired their imagination of others so they too could tell their own stories.

Now, about THIS story.
I just wanted to see if I still had it in me to write something and publish it and get this ideas out of my head.
Also, now that I have a track record of starting and not finishing any of my stories, I'm obligated to say that I probably won't finish this either. But I hope to at least inspire others or give them ideas for their own stories.
That being said, if someone wants to use any of my ideas I present here or in any of my other stories, I welcome you to use them. And if you do, send me links to your stories too.

Comments

[Blackshadow of Abys]

not bad of a start

[Unimpressive Chaos Lord]

Who the hell gave this much ham to these kids?!

I´m sorry, but their lines are hilarious!
I mean, I like that Discord lampshades it, but this is not how adolescences talk. Except for Tirek; he does sound realistic. And exasperated by the stupidity that surrounds him.

Wait a second...

Now I get it, and I admit it´s kinda funny.
I like how this is being portrayed, but I still think you should try to change the dialogue a bit, show some more realism. I mean, the people from Equestria Girls do talk like people, like teenagers (without the swearing). Which also confuses me; shouldn´t juvenile delinquents swear a fuck ton more?

The narration is alright. Nothing horrible, nothing spectacular, but for the premise of the plot it works.

So I conclude that this story has potential; I love Discord´s snarky remarks, how freaking insane everyone is, how Tirek is the one sane man who wants to take care of his brother...
But there are some changes to be added if you want this to become an absolute success.

[Childish Endeavors]

Faved, added to book shelf, and prepping for the next chapter!!!!!
yay

[Skye Mist]

This is just so in character. I was grinning the entire chapter.
And LOL, Tirek is probably the only sane one, that's a shocker. (well, I was expecting none of them to be, with Chrysalis and Sombra saying that they're royalty, Starlight and her lightning baton army, and Discord...need I say more?)

Instant fav for villain story. *internal fangirling*

[BroniesAreFags]

I thought these people would actually be a gang not some high school wanna bees

[CasperSantiq]

Sounds like an episode of kill LA kill.

[FairyFun]

I like it! They all match their roles perfectly. Where IS Tirek´s brother though?