• Published 3rd Oct 2015
  • 3,361 Views, 304 Comments

The Students from St. Everfree - Morex25

Can Canterlot High survive when six of the most infamous troublemakers in St. Everfree history are transferred to their school?

  • ...

Chapter 31 – Glimpses of the Past

Scorpan tossed and turned, sweat forming on his brow while he whimpered and mumbled incoherently. No matter how much he tried and struggle he felt himself falling down surrounded by sudden flashed of memories from his past, until he arrived to a near forgotten hot summer day many, many years ago.

Everything felt hazy and all of Scorpan’s muscles felt tired, ready to collapse. His eyelids too heavy to open, yet he was completely aware of his surroundings. He was on top of a dirt patch in a park and in front of him, there was an ice cream cone on the floor slowly been covered by ants.

Then, tears started leaking from his eyes, falling down his cheek and unto the dirt floor below. He couldn’t exactly recall why he was crying, but the fallen confection most certainly was part of the reason why.

Then through his crying, another figure neared him and stood over him. This newcomer waited until Scorpan managed to get a handle on his crying turning it into just sniffles. “Here, take this.” He said handing money to the crying boy. Though Scorpan couldn’t “see” clearly he was somehow able to tell that the person who helped him had an elbow scrape caused by an earlier scuffle, yet the pain caused by said injury didn’t bothered him at all. “I won’t tell mom and dad about the ice cream if you don’t tell them how I got this scrape.”
Scorpan felt himself smiling before saying.

“T-thanks Tirek.”

Scorpan suddenly opened his eyes and groaned in pain.

Certainly it wasn’t a good sign when one wakes up without knowing how they fell asleep in the first place. Not to mention the huge pain on the back of his head.

‘Don’t tell me I’ve been taken hostage again.’ The last time he had woken up in a similar set of circumstances was when Chrysalis’ goons napped him to use him as bait for his…

Shaking his head to get rid of those wandering thoughts, the boy sat up focusing outside of the tiredness and the pain and tried to look around to get a clue as to where he was. ‘If this is a kidnapping, then the accommodations are better than last time.’ He noted when he realized he was resting on a comfy bed instead of being tied up to a chair with a burlap sack over his head.

Scorpan was inside a bedroom, which was decked full in bright colors all around. The walls had colorful posters of music bands and X-treme Sports, while on top of a dresser and hanging shelves were several trinkets and figurines that could be called action figures. Not to mention, in the corner there was a hoop set! Down below on the untidy floor, he could see that there were balls of different sports: soccer, basket, volley, etc; and also some flying disks and a complete set of elbow and knee pads.

Based on the diverse sport-equipment and “toys” lying scattered around the room, Scorpan deduced that the owner was most likely a boy, although the bright pastel color of the walls was not very boyish in accordance to the type of preferences the objects in the room talked about their owner.

Scorpan’s musings were then cut short when the room’s door creaked open.

“So, you are finally awake.” The newcomer of the room said, surprising the resting boy by their looks. It was a soft yellow woman with bright orange hair tied up to a bun and stunning green eyes. Despite not being in her prime, she gave away this sort of Mature Beauty look. “You had everyone worried about you.”

“Worried about me..?” Scorpan repeated confused, that is until he looked down on his hand which he hadn’t realized felt very numb and the memories of what happened came back to him. “Did I really…?”

“You did quite the number on your hand.” The redhead woman sat next to the bed and took the boys hand onto hers to check on it. “You are lucky your little tantrum didn’t permanently damage your hand.” She admonished with a serious look. “Still, it is going to hurt for a pretty long time.”

“I…I’m sorry…” Scorpan apologized pulling away his hand and looking down unable to meet the woman’s face, feeling ashamed by his previous actions.

“It is not with me you have to apologize to.” The woman continued with her reprimand. “You have to apologize to the three young girls you frighten to death and are now down below shaking like leaves waiting anxiously for you to wake up.”

“I…I d-didn’t mean t-to…” The boy barely voiced out the words from his tightening throat, choking up. He was never the best to hold back his emotions whenever someone scolded him, even strangers. Despite that, he tried his hardest to not bawl like a child, even if he felt like one.

The woman, looking at Scorpan’s reaction, softened her eyes and tried to comfort him. “I can see that you truly regret your actions,” she said putting a hand on one of the boy’s shoulder. “So do not feel hopeless. Trust that this experience is a lesson in the journey that I have chosen and embarked upon.” She imparted wisely. “Breathe, reflect, learn from it, forgive myself, and move on.”

Listening to her wise words, Scorpan took several breaths of air, to try and control his emotions. And after a few minutes of this, he managed to calm down.

“T-Thanks…” He bowed his head slightly in a show of appreciation.

“You’re welcome.” She returned with a smile, and then a comfortable silence fell between the two.

That is until Scorpan’s curiosity got the best of him. “Um…excuse me, but… Could you please tell me where am I exactly?” He asked and then quickly added. “Not that I’m ungrateful or anything! It’s just… that I’m curious that’s all.”

The woman couldn’t help but smile at the boy’s peculiar reaction. Not many would’ve remained as composed or as trusting after waking up and talking with a stranger in a unknown place. “Right now, you are in my house; specifically, my daughter’s bedroom.”

“Daughter’s…?” Scorpan was surprised by the admission, since the belongings in the room was more akin to the tastes of a boy than a more “conventional” girl. Then again, he also noted that the pastel color of the wall were very un-boyish like.

“She and her friends brought you all the way here sick asking me to look after your injuries.” She explained pointing down to Scorpan’s bandaged hand, which bared her handiwork. “You should count yourself lucky because if your injuries had been more severe, then you’ll be on the hospital right now.”

“Then why didn’t they…?”

“Because I know a lot about first aid.” She boasted with a smile. Of all the things she learned before becoming a mother, her skills in first aid were the handiest, especially with a daughter like hers. “Whenever one of them gets a scraped knee, a cut or a sprained ankle in their little excursions, they always come to me first.”

“Thank you for looking after me, Mrs…?”

“Scarlett. Just Scarlett.” She introduced herself. “And I’m Scootaloo’s mother.”

“Nice meeting you. My name is Scorpan.” The boy returned the gesture, not all surprised by the revelation of whose parent she was. Of the three girls he personally knew, Scootaloo was the only one who fitted the bill regarding the style and contents of the room he currently resided in. “If there’s any way to repay your generosity, please let me know.”

“Nice to meet you too.” She said happy that the boy had some manners. “As for repaying me, there is no need for any of that.”Scarlett said sincerely. “Although I can’t speak the same for my daughter and her friends, especially after the scare you gave them.”

“I hope that whatever it is, it stays within my budget.” He said in a defeated tone, but not enough to be confused as anything other than a jest.

“Do you want me to call them over?”

“I-If you may possibly…give me a few minutes to myself…?” He pleaded. Right now, he didn’t feel prepared to meet them after what he did.

“Of course, take the time you need” Scarlett agreed to his plead as she stood up. “When you are ready, you can come downstairs.” And with that said, she left Scorpan alone to his thoughts, working out what he should say to the crusaders and more importantly what to do regarding his “former” brother.


Discord was humming a catchy tune as a way to pass the time. The commissioner and the Captain had been gone for a while, which Discord assumed to be some sort of tactic to bore him to death. Discord held back a chuckle as to not drop the rhythm of his tune; one the streets he wasn’t exactly known for his patience and more for being an impulsive kind of guy, yet those few who tried to test his patience were always shocked to find that he could out-wait their attempts.

Discord always went far and beyond in order to wind up and piss those who deserved it. So no matter what sort of tactics his father employed, Discord was confident he could take whatever they threw at him and turned it up upon their heads. He didn’t have to wait much longer, because soon after this father and uncle re-enter the interrogation room.

“You sure kept me waiting.” Discord said with a sneer. “Did you guys go out for lunch without me or what?”

Ignoring his son’s bait to annoy him further, Maxwell took his seat in front of Discord with the upmost poise and decorum. “You know son, on my way to the precinct after hearing it was you who took my car, I spent a lot of mental power trying to figure out the “appropriate measures” for you and this little shenanigan of yours.”

“So what is it gonna be?” This was it. This was his father’s move and Discord was more than ready to turn this whole thing around.

“At first I seriously considered sending you to a Military Academy and see if they could help you with that attitude of yours.” Maxwell said rather stern, making it clear he was serious about this decision.

“So basically sending me to live with Uncle Ray?” Discord said very nonchalant about his father’s idea.

“Despite being his grandnephew, Major Disarray would’ve treated you like any other cadet or push you even harder.” Maxwell clarified.

“That’s great an all but I’m not going to Military School.” Discord didn’t ask but state as a fact. “Even if you did send me there, the moment Mom hears about it she’s gonna fly back here and kick your ass before taking me out of that school.”

To the side of the commissioner, Captain Bolt coughed nervously observing how his best friend held back from showing any emotion whatsoever after Discord brought up Eris into the conversation like that. Meanwhile, Maxwell took a deep breath before continuing.

“It is true that sending you to a Military school would ‘displease’ your mother. So I also thought about having you develop more ‘traditional’ and ‘spiritual’ values; something even your mother can’t oppose to.” Now this made his son’s eyes widen in silent surprise.

“You can’t mean… sending me to the monastery with Cousin Holly Mess, do you?” Ever since she was sent to that place she had become a whole other person; a more boring one. Heck, couldn’t they have at least sent her to one of those cool Asian monasteries where they trained in Martial Arts or something?

“But, knowing you… well, I don’t need to say what could’ve happened, do I?” Discord father continued, not sounding the least bit annoyed that his second choice was also a bust. “So instead I have decided that what you need is to get a job.”

“Wait what?” Discord asked confused. “Could you repeat that last part?” He put his open palms next to his ear.

“I said that you are getting a job, Discord.”

After hearing that, Discord couldn’t contain himself and laughed out loud. “A-are you serious?!”

“I know that if I leave you to your own devices, you would flunk and ruin every work interview at every place I’d send you.”

“Damn right you are!” His son continued laughing, but his humor wouldn’t last long.

“That is why I talked with your uncle and he agreed to give you a job.”

“Uncle?” Discord repeated trying to think which ones had jobs that could and would allow hiring him. “You mean Uncle Rats Nest and his Pest Control Business?”


“Uncle Clutter and his Storage Company?”


“Uncle Bedlam and the Asylum for the criminally insane?”




“Uncle Ruckus…?” Discord asked not very confident that was even the answer.

“Dear god no!” Maxwell was taken aback by even the mere suggestion. “Though it is admirable he can hold 32 part time jobs through the course of a week, Uncle Ruckus is a very reprehensible person.” Mostly because of his views and strong opinions about people of certain color shades.

“So? Where are you sending me then?” Discord wondered, having ran out of ideas.

“That would be with me, Discord.” Bolt revealed to the boy slightly miffed for not been even mentioned. “Your father and I talked about it and we decided that it would be best if you work for me.”

“Did…Did Aunt Harmonia and you finally opened that Craft store she always wanted…?” Because otherwise, what they were implying was all sorts of ridiculous.

“Not yet.” Bolt scratched the back of his head. “We still haven’t found the right location yet and…” Next to him, Maxwell cleared his throat to remind him not to trail off. “Anyway, let me be the first to tell you: Welcome to the Canterlot Police Force, cadet Discord.”

“You…you are making me a police officer…?” The boy said quite shocked, of all the things his father and uncle could come up with, this he never expected it in a million years. “Are you serious?! YOU are giving ME, authority over others?” Even he could tell this was a terrible idea.

“Responsibility. We are giving you responsibility.” Maxwell clarified. “You will pledge to serve and to keep citizens safe 24 hours a day and seven days a week.”

“Are you out of your minds?!” They had to be, because this was beyond ridiculous. “You expect ME, to for an Authority? ME?”

“I would’ve said the same thing as you this morning, but…” Maxwell said with a smile which made his son slightly uneasy. “I have an interest chat with two lovely ladies that made me start thinking different of you.”


“I guess you inherited the same weakness I had your age.” The man chuckled a bit, recalling those days when he was a young rapscallion acting like a rouge to impress the ladies. “These ladies came for your sake and plead a case in your favor, telling me how “nice” and “courageous” you have been with them.”Oh how he enjoyed the look Discord was giving him right now. “So I thought that maybe we can put that new attitude of yours to good use and help the community at large.”

“N-No way! Nah-uh” Discord shook his head and formed an X with his fingers. “There’s no way that I will work for the MAN!” Even more so when the MAN was his own father in what most likely was a desperate attempt to keep him under his thumb. “I refuse.”

“Not even for this?” Bolt asked as he pulled a shiny new police badge showed it to the boy. “I recall many times when you asked to have your very own badge.”

“That was when I was a kid!” Discord turned his gaze away from the badge. “Now I know better.” These to old fools were sure going for it; using a longed object from his childhood dreams as an incentive was playing dirty.

“It’s not like that’s the only thing you’re going to get, Discord.” Maxwell added. “Because since this is a job, you also are going to get a salary; 15 dollars an hour, that’s approximately $30,000 per year. Not a bad deal.”It was a bit more than half what an average police officer earned yearly.

“That sounds…” Discord shook his head before he could say more. This was so obviously a trap! He couldn’t just fall for it. “Don’t I have to go to the police academy to train and stuff?” That was most certainly the catch wasn’t it? He would say yes and end up going to the Police Academy to act like the law abiding citizen they wanted him to be.

“Training? What do you think the last 17 years of your life have been?” Maxwell chuckled as he crossed his arms. “The Judo lessons I let you participate in? Running over and over again the obstacle courses when we visited the Academy and the one I built at home? Letting you play with the K-9 puppies and help them train them?” he began listing. “And don’t forget all those Tactical Training Simulations we told you were just Paintball Games.”

“Not to mention all those times we play code numbers.” Bolt also added. “When you managed to guess all correctly we'd buy you ice cream remember?” Then he quickly asked “What’s a 10-57?”

“That’s a Hit and Run.” Discord answer automatically without even having to think about it. “Dear Lord. All this time! My entire childhood was to prep me into becoming a police officer like you two?” He asked highly disturbed by the implications.

“Actually, we never intended it to be that way.” Maxwell was quick to defuse the situation. “When your mother… you know…” Even after all these years it was hard for him to talk about it “I had to brought you along with me everywhere because you chase off all the babysitters and got banned of all daycares.” The problems with him and Eris really took a toll on their son. “And because you were such a…. um… “Active Boy” we had to improvise in order to keep you entertained.”

“Remember whenever a rookie screwed up we assigned them to “Discord Duty”?” Bolt smiled as he recalled those days. “After that, they never committed the same mistake again. It really kept them on their toes.”

“Yeah, I recall people having fun.”He nodded in agreement. “I wish I had been there for more of them, though.” He finished saying looking a little less cheerful. He knew that in many of those fond memories of his son, he wasn't really a prominent part of them.

Meanwhile, Discord was having a mini-existential crisis. All this time, he had never questioned all the things in his childhood, chalking it all up as normal since his dad was a cop. But now that he thought about it, some of the things he did were definitely not normal or age appropriate.

He wanted to be mad. Angry that he had been manipulated in such an underhanded way even if they claimed it to be unintentional. Yet he recalled having so much fun too. Running around and going through the obstacle course which he thought were more awesome version of the jungle gym in the park. Playing with the pups and teaching them tricks was hard but it was so much satisfying when they managed to do tricks and have them go through their own obstacle course. And the “paintball matches”, those were so intense and full of adrenaline. Not only there was the appeal of having to shoot real moving targets in real environments, but they also had “missions” like capture the ‘objective’, retrieve the package, eliminate all targets and rescuing the hostages. It was all much better than video games to be honest.

‘Wow, no wonder I’m a badass!’

Yet despite all the fun he had, it was had amidst what was one of the most difficult times any child could experience. No child has ever managed to go by unharmed through the separation of their parents.

Now that he was older, Discord realized that his acting out that forced his father to take him along to his job, was just a cry for attention; and even then the fun he had was with others instead of his father who was getting busier and busier. And like a child he started resenting him for that, believing his father cared more about work than his son. But now, hearing all of this made him realize that he never saw it from his dad’s perspective. It couldn’t have been easy to have to bring an unruly son alongside his family problems to work with him; and then having to rely on others to look after his son. To go through all of that and in the end have a kid who resented for not spending enough time with him.

Damn, no wonder their family was as screwed as it was.

“Ok! I get it.” Discord finally said, finally snapping out of his own thoughts about his childhood and family. “So what? If I accept this “job”, then what?” He asked not wanting to believe he was humoring the idea of accepting it. “What are you gonna have me do?”

“Well, the same thing you have been doing all this time.” Bolt said confusing the heck out of his nephew. “Discord, we are not going to put you on a uniform and have you patrol the city. Instead you have an important task that only you can do.” He then pulled out a file and spread it over the table. “We are well aware about reputation you had amassed ever since you decided to go to St. Everfree, and we want you to use that reputation to help us.”

“Help you how?” Discord asked slightly intrigued by this.

“Well, we have been working a case about someone you might have heard of.” Bolt then handed Discord a picture with a symbol in it. “Do you know what that is?”
Discord look at the person in the picture with narrowed eyes. “Yes, I recognize the symbol. It belongs to a group of dealers.”

“Indeed, and we want to arrest their leader.” Maxwell said very seriously. “So far we have gathered very little intel about their leader, but we have sources that affirm she was former student at St. Everfree.”

“Discord, we want you to help us capture the woman known as Catrina.”

Author's Note:

Sorry if the story is progressing slowly. :unsuresweetie:
I want to push the pedal but I still haven't recovered my groove yet. :ajsleepy:

Still, I hope you enjoy this.

Fun fact:
All of Discord's relatives are synonyms for the word chaos.
Though not mentioned in-story, Discord have more relatives:
-Granny Pandora -Aunt Mayhem -Cousin (female) Anarchy -Twin Cousins Tizzy & Tumult and -Cousin (female) Topsy Turvey.

Speaking of unknown relatives. Scotaloo's Mom is here! And she might have another special appearance in the future too.

Also, there's a "deleted" 200 word scene about Uncle Ruckus. That I will post later for those interested.
You can find it right here: [Link]

Comments ( 14 )

Catrina...?:rainbowhuh:Is that an OC name?
But this is going good now. Keep up the good work!:scootangel:

7175664 Oh...that's why. I heard it somewhere before, but never watched previous generations.:derpytongue2:

Well that was interesting seeing a bit of discord past before going to Everfree and scotaloo mom part was good not many fic have it. Good job.
Oh and a quick question are we gonna stay on discord arc for more chapters or are gonna get a new character arc?

It is more like a time-share, each character will have a turn in the spotlight each arc.

But if I have to say, Discord's turn in this second arc is almost up.
The other will have their turn soon enough.

I always think Discord will help the police eventually :pinkiehappy: He always gives me the impression of Sherlock somehow
Not the BBC Sherlock, but the one from Elementary
Good to see this comes true :pinkiecrazy: Now he just needs an assistant, Sunny, it's your chance :pinkiecrazy:
I suppose next chapter is about Tirek and Sombra, or Starlight, perhaps they'll all be linked to Catrina eventually
Looking forward to it:pinkiehappy: I'll miss Discord though
I wonder if there'll be another villain called Grogar, if so this story will become a war between generation, literally:pinkiecrazy:

Alright, new chapter! Awesome.
Today I´m kind of down, so I don´t know how long I´ll be able to keep this review/analysis but I´ll try to cover up all my thoughts.

First off, I still urge you to get an editor for some typos and such. Here´s a group that specializes in that http://www.fimfiction.net/group/97/looking-for-editors
They might be able to help you out.
I´m not saying that your typos make this unreadable, not at all, but this story has a high quality and it bothers me being distracted by such small flaws here and there.

Alright, so we go back with Scorpan. And, I´ll be honest, after the emotional beatdown this kid got before your hiatus I was wondering what had happened to him.
First off, interesting start. I really like that hazy flashback. It´s quick, it doesn´t delve into much detail and its emotionally effective. One can´t help but wonder how old they are here. Maybe in their 10s or younger.
However, that line, “I won’t tell mom and dad about the ice cream if you don’t tell them how I got this scrape.” gave me a bad feeling. I don´t know if I´ve been ready too many dark novels and such, but this comes off as a threatening warning rather than a healthy deal.
I mean, it just sounds to me as "You´re so going to get beaten up if mom and dad find out you wasted your money". If you are going for that route you´ll just end up giving Scorpan more Woobie attributes. That´s not bad at all, but Jesus Christ, poor kid. Maybe Tirek is so protective of him because of that, but also aggressive towards him for the same motive. This is quite fascinating, I can´t wait to see you explore this concept.
With all the parents that have started popping up lately I wouldn´t mind seeing these two´s stepping in. Or maybe I´m wrong, but a family with kids as messed up as these two can´t be that stable. Hell, I can imagine them being a sort of evil counterpart to Discord´s. That´d be cool.
Still, it´s always nice seeing a Tirek that isn´t a total dick towards Scorpan. It´s a rather small gesture, carried out with the brevity that accompanies the scene, but that´s what makes it so potent. You don´t wallow in it, it just goes by, and I like that.

Now, Scorpan waking up in a stranger´s home and the first thing that comes to his mind is another kidnapping. Fuck me, this kid has issues. I don´t know how Social Services haven´t stepped in yet. That cements my theory on the abusive family.
Still, it´s kinda depressing he feels this way. Anyway.
I certain he was in Scoot´s bedroom. I just wonder why he didn´t realize sooner. Also, here comes Scoots mom!
I´ll be honest, she´s not how I expected. Is this bad? Not necessarily, it just feels a little odd. She gives me the impression of being a really wise mature woman and... I´m not sure that fits Scoots. It just feels a little weird, I don´t know why. I did enjoy her scolding on Scorpan for scaring the shit out of the CMC, but her advice seems a little... "guruish". I don´t know, maybe this will be clarified later on, but personally it´s not my cup of tea.

Now, Discord. Well, hell. Was this unexpected. I mean it, I didn´t imagine this outcome.
I enjoy Discord´s approach on the situation. He sees what´s about to happen as a duel. He against his father. And by the way he describes it, this is something normal for him, as normal as winning it. That speaks quite a bit about him. I also like how you´ve displayed his manipulative side and how... well, as we see later on is a family trait. That´s kinda scary. I wonder if he´s like that naturally or if it actually got rubbed off from his father and mother.
Now, for Discord´s relatives. Good Lord, did I have a blast here, and I´m betting you did too.
Although before that, I´d like to bring up Eris again.
She hasn´t appeared a single time and yet I am so fascinated by her. This hype is going to end up killing me when/if she shows up.
So, my theory of them abandoning them seems a little compromised by Discord´s offhand comment of her "coming back and kicking Max´s ass". However, it still maintains. From Entropy´s reaction I get the feeling that Discord is just in denial about her parting, or maybe just kept in the shadows about the true nature of her disappearance. Maybe Max and Eris split up and his father is just trying to leave open the possibility of her coming back and thus keeps feeding Discord that idea. Which would again make him a pretty questionable parent that should keep readers on their toes about him. Is he good, is he evil? Is what he´s doing justified or not? This is how you make a fascinating character. And you are a fucking expert at writing interesting OCs. Sure, some of them (such as Chrysalis's minions) are a little plain, but that´s because of a lack of development. Maxwell has been with us for how long, three, four chapters? and he´s already one of the most interesting characters in the entire story.
In any case, maybe I overreacted and Eris is still around, just, isolated from the family. Still, I can´t wait to see her.

Now, the family members.
Pest Control, storage company, asylum for the criminally insane... I want to know more of Bedlam! What´s going on in that Asylum? Is it the equivalent to Tartarus? Which characters of the show are in there? I need to know!

Also, the beat of silence before the mention of Ruckus is fucking hilarious. That just makes Maxwell´s reaction much funnier. I´ve read that deleted scene and I wish you had included him. I love nutjobs in positions of power. I would like to see him again, but if you keep him in the shadows it´s okay too; he might just be a one scene wonder.

Now, the most fucked up part of the entire chapter (and of the entire fanfic). Discord discovering he might have had his entire life planned for this entire moment. Sure, you give an explanation for this which is reasonable enough, but even the narration acknowledges how fucked up this situation is. In fact, every time I thought of a problem to bring up in in my review Discord thought of it, so kudos to you!
I suppose that given that he has the sufficient training(

"Wow, no wonder I’m a badass!"

; amazing line, by the way) and his father is kind of a corrupt cop (and don´t try to convince me otherwise, he is) it´s plausible making Discord a cop. However, is this a permanent occupation or just temporal? Because if it´s permanent the implications are pretty freaky.

Also, even if the epiphany Discord has about himself and his attention seeking attitude is correct, I don´t think that´s the most ideal execution. So far, you´ve only been giving us brief peeks into the character´s psychology with a mastery of subtlety uncanny for fanfiction, so it feels forced and too much "in your face" when you write it like that. I think it would be better if you didn´t spell it out for the reader; we´re smart, we can see this. The narration doesn´t need to tell us. The character´s actions act for themselves. So far you´ve followed the "show don´t tell" rule of fiction impeccably, but this feels like kind of a slip up. It doesn´t ruin the story or anything, but I think that for such a surprisingly clever and deep story it´s a little too juvenile. I´d recommend you don´t give away the answer after you´ve provided so many clues, unless it´s completely necessary, in the future.
And finally, Discord joins in as an undercover agent. That´s a good way to maintain his independence even after a compromise to the Man; quite an intelligent decision of your part. First objective, Catrina.
Oh, but, if we start bringing back G1 villains I can´t wait to see Tirac. Hell, he probably is Tirek´s father. Wouldn´t that be a twist? Tirek´s father as another criminal mind? That could be a disaster or a success depending on how you handled it.
If you are bringing Catrina you´ve better write her introductory scene so that she´s holding and stroking a cat as she speaks. It´s too damn obvious, it needs to be written!

So, all in all quite an impressive chapter. I like how you aren´t afraid of breaking the Status Quo and keep putting your characters through diverse changed in their lives; not every author has the balls to do that. This was also quite an enjoyable read. Not necessary the funniest, but a well developed chapter dedicated to building character and advancing the plot in an entertaining way. I´ll see you in my next comment! I do hope Sombra comes back soon; I miss that hammy bastard.

So, in this world, Scootaloo is the daughter of a retired GI Joe. Nice.

This story is a bit rough around the edges but promising nonetheless.

If this Starlight's tale is similar to the one in Equestria, she might change her ways for sure when her old friend Sunburst transfers from Crystal Prep.

I'm loving this. Keep it up.

My morbid mind keeps thinking that Scorpan is gonna take a bullet or something for Tirek, causing him to die and his brother to come to his senses...

But anyway, I like the DizzyXShimmy! Ha! Sounds like something from the sixties... or the cancer of the internet.

Still! More, please!

All I can say is that that your work is amazing, I had already wrote down a review, but i still wanted to write down how i felt on this site as well. (Typing this on a phone,sorry) It just pains me to see good work to go unfinshed, hopefully the same fate wont fall apon this story.

I'm tracking this just in case the author returns some day.

When will you update

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