David Cambridge, a 29 year old man who was enjoying his life with 2 kids and a wife. But one day was suppose to be the happiest day of the year, it also happens to be the day that will change his life forever. Found himself waking up in the middle of a small town, not having the knowledge to know where is his current location.
Will he find himself out of this place? Or will he accept the rest of his life here in this world filled with colorful-ponies?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Plz make more chapters
That last line...
Good start, but make the next chapter more sad. David is in another world, his family thinks he's dead and they mean a lot to David. At least show us that David misses them or that he is in grief.
I can't wait till the next chapter!
hmmmm.............this.......shows some promise........possibly.....maybe.....
give me a call if thou would require help
Thank you for using my suggestion.
Uh oh Sombra's back?! Not good!
6512092 Uh oh is the correct answer! Maybe he will find a way to defeat him but who knows!
this story seems very interesitng, can't wait to read more
....... where are the chapters??????
must read more chapters!!!!!! 
6562322
You've asked for it, you got it!
You need an editor, badly. When a 14 year old, whose native language isn't English can tell a mistake in your fic, something is horribly wrong.
6569004 I'm terribly sorry for not having an editor. If you have somebody who is an editor, can you tell me his or her name so I could contact?
Dude how did celestia know about that punch and about the dummies?
6580789 She's a goddess and a good friend of Cassiel. She basically knows everything.
*Sigh* Another HiE fanfiction... Well, I'll read it, but be warned that you need to be pretty good to make these sorts of things stick out. they've become torturous for me to read because it's so easy to fall into the same plot over and over.
however, I'm going to read it.
*CRITIC MODE ENGAGE*
Why was he having nightmares/bad thoughts?
How long has he been having them?
What are the "bad thoughts" about?
Why was there a random 4th wall break? So you didn't have to explain why he was all sweaty?
Why was he all sweaty?
What the hell kind of family goes to a mall, which would more then likely be closed, on Christmas Day?
Are they just needlessly rich and like to spoil the ever living hell out of their kids?
Why did you bring up the car accident that killed his sister?
So you could justify a grown man having a connection to MLP? If so, why? Do you not know the majority of this fandom?
Why are they torturing their kids? This is the most merciless kind of torment imaginable for a 4 and 6 year old, and on Christmas no less! Oh... that's right, they're going to the mall to buy even more crap for their spoiled rotten brats to pile on to what they bought them before hand, what David's parents bought them, and what Sheryn's parents bought them as well.
*CRITIC MODE ENGAGE*
Why did David wake up in the training program from The Matrix?
What kind of asshole news reporter would interview a crash victim that's still at the seen that lost a family member in said crash? Do they just not give a fuck on the English News Station?
How did David except his death/never going to be able to see his family again so well? Most men would be over come by loss at this point and would be reduced to a blubbering mess.
Cliche List:
Higher being sending character away mid-sentence
Having human, who has just arrived in Equestria, appear in the Everfree Forest
Having recently arrived human be attacked by Timberwolves
Having human be rescued by one of the Main 6
Why did you pick the one archangel that doesn't like to interfere with the mortal plain... interfere with the mortal plain?
Also, why did you pick the one who is said to preside over the death of kings? Are you foreshadowing something here?
Why did Twilight cook something? Twilight doesn't cook. She has her dragon sla- I mean assisted, do all the cooking/chores for her.
Why didn't Twilight ask what planes and cars were? That seams like something she would ask about.
Twilight never did tell him what species she was, so how did David know she was a pony at the end of the chapter?
'Enjoying his lovely life'...
That's it... I'm out... *Runs For The Hills*
I don't understand why your sentence structure SUCKS. Its like you're glitching all over the place...changing tense from someone telling a story, to someone actually in the story. Changing from past to present tense. You REALLY need an editor badly. Its still a good story nonetheless.
WILL THERE BE ANOTHER?????
