Session 19
Session 19.0 Alex Warlorn (This entry is NOT meant to be taken seriously.)
"So you see Madam Gemstone. We were hoping you could give some answers." Cadence and Shining Armor were currently wearing brown robes and sunglasses (gifts from Auntie Celestia). They could have discussed this with Sunburst, he was their foal's caretaker, but ... Sunburt's books didn't have the answer they sought. "My husband and I... we like... to role play." Cadence blushed.
"I saw the anti-anti-O&O campaign. 'This stallion plays O&O and bagged himself a princess in high school'. Though the music was rather strange."
PON-3's music would seem strange to crystal ponies, who knew Shining Armor's performance to win Cadence's heart was the moment Vinyl Scratch earned her cutie mark?
"Uh... actually," Shining Armor said blushing more. "Not quite what we meant... we like to... role play in the bedroom."
Madam Gemstone herself felt rather awkward hearing this, not sure if this was the sort of thing an ancient crystal pony mystic should be hearing.
"What... sort of things?"
"Well... there was that one time we took turns being the other's maid." Cadence blushed.
"And the time we were pool toys for the evening."
"And, er, the time we turned ourselves into diamond wolves."
"And I wanted to see what it was like to be a pegasus for a evening." Shining Armor admitted.
"And the time as Breezies after hearing about Twilight's adventure... THE SPELLS ARE TOTALLY SAFE I SWEAR! They're all legalish. But totally safe!" Cadence defended.
Flurry Heart laughed.
"My Prince and Princess... I am not one to judge. But what do you wish to ask?" The crystal pony said looking into her crystal ball.
"Could... all the things we did... be the cause for why Flurry Heart was... born an Alicorn?" Shining Armor asked.
"Oh no no, the much more logical explanation would be that you, good Prince Shining Armor, are the incarnation of an aspect of the god of magic, inserted into this reality and you and those who know you given retroactive memories of your existence, so even if for two years a loved one made no mention of you to friends they'd still accept your existence as perfectly fine. Likely done to make positives changes to the timeline. And she inherited your latent divine station from both you, and the awakened divine station of you Princess Cadenza, the incarnation of the goddess of music in pony guise. Praise be to you."
Shining Armor and Cadence both stared for several seconds... then burst out laughing until they were in tears.
"OH THAT IS RICH!" Shining Armor cackled at the absurd theory. His sister, not so much as mentioning or even keeping a picture of him to show her friends for two years.
"I can assure you, there are no 'fake memories' about my relationship with Shining." Cadence said between laughs.
"Oh no, not 'fake', retroactively added to the past."
Shining Armor rolled his eyes. "Next you're going to say Pinkie Pie's sister is the goddess of rocks."
"Oh no course not."
"Thank Celestia."
"Miss Maud Pie is far more likely an incarnation of the goddess of final oblivion."
"I.... think we've heard all we need to hear, thank you for your time!" Cadence grinned and pulled her husband away and got her baby out of the room with her weird royal subject.
+
"Maaaaaud." Marble Pie called out politely but obvious nervious, pulling at a drab on a little round window on their family farm's second floor. "The shadows in black robes are here offering you pebbles in worship again."
Maud Pie wondered if they wanted explanation again the paradox of how she could eat rocks and yet still have Boulder as a beloved pet.
She came out the front door, where they were politely buying rocks from Limestone Pie after she snarled, "Buy something or leave!"
The shadows in black robes prostrated themselves the moment Maud Pie stepped outside.
"... I will answer your conundrum in the Book of Maud if you play camouflage with me and Boulder."
"Innnnn yooooorrr pooocket!" One of the black robbed shadows pointed.
"No he isn't this time. But you're learning."
Session 19.1 Zaku789
"Oww my eyes," Button Mash said. "That's the last time I challenge Mom to a Tetris match. Things got way too weird near the end."
"Hey Button, how are you doing?" Sweetie belle said as four figures walked forward.
"Oh hey Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and-" Button mash blinked then blinked again. He then reacted in a way he thought was appropriate.
"OMGOODNESS!" Button Mash shouted at the sight of Tender Taps "Scootaloo, why are you with a dude version of yourself, and an earth pony!"
"What?" The pony said.
"Ignore him," Scootaloo said. "He been on a 24 hour video game marathon since yesterday and he's still out of it."
"Still its odd that he looks kinda like you," Sweetie Belle commented.
"You find that odd," Apple Bloom said. "My aunt Caramel Apple's a spitting image to Carrot Top and Ah don't mean a little but ALOT. if it weren't for the cutie mark, Ah be confuse as heck, and trust me, we tested both to see if they were a changeling or lost twins and neither were the case."
"Okay...." Button Mash said as he took a closer look at Tender Taps. "Hey I recognize you now, you're from that dance recital. You were awesome."
"OH really?"
"Yeah, you definitely deserve your cutie mark after that."
"Thanks, I appreciate that." Tender Tap said. "And I hope you did well with your game marathon."
"Well it started off good, but then it got weird at the end with Tetris...."
"How so?"
"Let's just say I saw something weird and end it like that," Button Mash said.
Session 19.2 Alex Warlorn
"Wanna play a video game with me?" Tender Taps asked politely.
"No offense Tender Taps, but I don't think you and Button going at it is exactly fair." Scootaloo said.
"Ya play video games?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Almost never, but there is one game that's kinda fun."
"What's that?"
"It's at the arcade."
"Huh? I'm the king of the arcade, there's no way ya can beat me at anything there." Button Mash said with a slightly swelled head. He did have his pride as a games pro after all.
"Oh really?"
- Five Minutes Later -
"LET'S NAME SOME NOISE!" Shouted the digital announce as Button Mash and Tender Taps stood on the control stage of Prance Prance Revolution 2 -Remix-.
"Sweet little bumble!" Sang the song, Apple Bloom cringed.
Button Mash's eyes became pin pricks. "Help."
Session 19.3 Mooncalf99
Prince Blueblood - darling of the royal court, most eligible bachelor in Canterlot, and a dangerously shrewd diplomat - was lounging in his richly decorated den. A glass of fine brandy in one hoof, a book on griffon culture and social norms in the other, and a notebook and quill hovering in the air, furiously taking notes.
A polite cough brought him out of his work. He looked up to see his trusted earth pony valet. "Your nine o'clock, sir."
He glance towards the door and noticed the unicorn waiting there. "Thank you, Sleeves. Be a chap and get us some refreshments, won't you?"
"Very good, sir," Sleeves replied politely, and vanished. He didn't teleport away - seeing as he wasn't a unicorn, after all - but rather simply made himself scarce since he wasn't needed at the moment. It was as efficient as it was uncanny, and only of of his many skills that justified his exorbitant wage.
Blueblood gracefully rose from the antique chaise lounge. "You made it after all, my lady. I was worried that you had decided to decline."
"Hmm?" The mare asked. "Maybe I should have. But then, why pass up a chance to lighten Princey's purse?" She held up her hoof.
He smirked and gave it a cursory kiss. "No 'Your Highness'? I'd say spending time with the princess and her friends have given you an independent streak… but then, you always had it, don't you, Trixie?"
Trixie smirked back. "Of course. Princes and princesses may come and go, but there will only ever be one Trixie." She removed her hat and cloak and hung them on a nearby clothes rack. "Now, are you ready to lose again?"
"Cocky as always." He gestured towards the small playing table, with two cushions waiting for them. "Care for a drink?"
"Ice water," Trixie said. She seated herself carefully, moving the cushion to make sure that there were no reflective surfaces behind her.
"You wouldn't rather have something more potent?" Blueblood suggested. "I have a few wines I picked up in Prance recently. Some finely aged brandy from Aunt Luna's own cellar. And a cask of Yakyakistani… well, I'm not sure how it's pronounced, but it's made from milk and definitely a novel experience."
Trixie let out a muted coo. "Ooh, tempting… but no, Trixie learned that lesson in Las Pegasus. No drinking before gambling. Trixie is going to need all her sense around you, Bluey."
He chuckled. "Worth a try." He seated himself opposite her, placing his brandy glass to the right. He paused thoughtfully and moved aside the mirror behind him that had not stood there earlier. He raised an eyebrow at Trixie, but she didn't bat an eye. "Did you bring the cards?"
"But of course." Trixie placed a fresh deck of cards, still sealed in their wrapping, on the table. "You'll find it's clean."
"I'm sure I will." He looked it over for signs of tampering, then broke it open and started shuffling.
Sleeves reappeared with a bowl of potato chips and a glass of ice water, which he placed on the table. "Your refreshments, sir, ma'am."
"Thank you, Sleeves," Blueblood said, cutting the deck a final time. "You may take the evening off."
Sleeves nodded curtly. "Thank you, sir." He disappeared again.
Blueblood deftly dealt the cards. "So how's life with the newest princess and her friends?" He discarded the ace of sun. "Showdown."
"Already? Fast player… I fold," Trixie said. "It's a lot of fun, actually. Twilight Sparkle is definitely deserving of her title as the Princess of Friendship. I kind of regret trying to be her enemy now." She discarded the two of moon, as well as the eight and nine of love.
"Good for you," Blueblood said, dealing her new cards. He discarded the ace of sun and drew a new card, then discarded the prince of moon and drew another. "Showdown. And the others?"
"Fold. Surprisingly forgiving. Most of the time." She smirked. "Though I think Rarity still carries a grudge since a certain Gala." She discarded the eight and ace of friendship, and the ten of sun.
"I see…" he said ruefully, dealing her new cards. He discarded the five of friendship, drew another, then discarded the five of love and drew another. "Showdown. I don't suppose you could somehow convince her she was dealing with a poorly trained actor wearing lifts? And that I was in fact slumming at a club at the time?"
"Very unlikely," Trixie said, not showing the slightest reaction to her cards. "Rarity is far too attentive to details. Fold, by the way." She discarded the four of friendship, the five of moon, and the ace of love. "No, you definitely fouled up that time, princey. National hero, rising star of the fashion scene, personal friend of Celestia's student… oh, and a classy and frankly smoking hottie."
"Rub salt on the wounds, why don't you?" he muttered, tossing her new cards. He discarded the three of love and drew a replacement, then ditched the two of friendship and replaced it too. "And showdown. Well, she did act like the classical gold digger."
"Fold. In your defense, Trixie will have to agree. If she had tried to play up her actual advantages rather than 'look at me, I'm pretty and you'll want to love me', you could have had something." She threw away the last ace, along with the six and seven of friendship. "Maybe. Hard to tell. You may be a touch too duplicitous for her taste."
"Duplicitous? I'm a diplomat!" He dealt her replacements, then ditched the six of moon followed shortly by the prince of sun. "It's my job, after all. Showdown." He made an insulted snort. "You wouldn't believe how Shiny treated me in Yakyakistan, until I saved his sorry flank with my shrewdness."
"Shining Armor? The prince of the Crystal Empire? Twilight Sparkle's darling big brother?" Trixie smirked as she tossed the three of moon and the prince and princess of love on the discard pile. "I've met him. He's a bit of a buffoon. Fold."
Blueblood laughed. "He's not a bad sort. Pleasant enough, and not too proud to admit when he's wrong. He's just… a very, very straight thinker, you know? He insulted the yaks four times in a row and just kept on making the same mistake."
"Like brother, like sister, I suppose," Trixie said. "Twilight did that when they visited as well, or so I'd heard. What is it they say about doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results?"
He laughed again. "Like they say in Stalliongrad, 'you can't drive straight on a crooked road'. Good thing they have ponies like us to back them up."
"I'm hardly Twilight's keeper," Trixie protested. "But I try to bring them some of my priceless wisdom now and then. Twilight's busy with her new student, though. That mare's quite a piece of work. Are you going to deal me already?"
"My apologies." He dealt her three fresh cards. "And is that jealousy I'm hearing?" He discarded the eight of sun, drew another, discarded the princess of sun, then drew another. "And again, showdown."
"Jealous? That's absurd," Trixie said. "What is there to be jealous of?"
Blueblood grinned. "Oh, I don't know. Learning magic… socializing with royalty… getting to live in a castle…"
"Pfft. I'm practically half living in that castle already," Trixie scoffed. "I crash there all the time If I asked nicely, I'm pretty sure Twilight would set me up with a permanent room. And magic? Twilight has barely a beginner's understanding of illusions and stage performance. If anything, I might end up teaching her."
"Well then, what about the chance for a one-on-one with the princess?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "You and her, all alone… together…"
Trixie frowned. "Are you serious? She's my friend."
"So? Or do you prefer to romance your enemies?" Blueblood suggested.
"…Touche," Trixie admitted. "But that's still none of your business."
"Tease," he snickered. "And stop holding up the game. Are you going to fold again?"
Trixie shook her head and grinned. "No. Trixie calls."
He blinked in surprise. "Oh. Okay, then." He showed his cards. "Two pairs, nines and fours."
Trixie revealed her own. "Three guards. Trixie wins."
"Well, well… that was unexpected. So you win… what stakes did we set?" He frowned.
"I don't think we did set any… standard bet, ten bits?" She suggested.
"I usually have hundred-bit stakes when I play with Fancy and the others," Blueblood said.
"Unfortunately, not everypony can bankroll those kinds of risks," Trixie pointed out.
"You can not possibly be protesting a hundred bits." He placed a bag of money in front of her. "Just take it and don't insult my honor."
"Oh, all right, you big foal," Trixie said. She pushed the bag to the side, then scooped up the cards. "So what are the stakes for the next round?"
"How about… if I win, we go clubbing?" he suggested. "I suddenly feel like dancing."
"Really? And what will happen to your reputation when you're seen with a common showpony?"
"Terrible things," Blueblood admitted. "But what if a certain talented illusionist were to work her magic? Nopony would raise an eyebrow if some random colt with a barely passing similarity to the prince were to do it."
"That… is definitely doable," Trixie agreed. "And if I win, you have to drink that yak liquor first."
"Only if you have some with me," Blueblood countered.
"Only if you drink some first and prove that it's safe," Trixie counter-countered.
Blueblood grinned again. "It's agreed, then."
Session 19.4 Mtangalion
"Thanks, Mr. Discord!" shouted Button Mash. "I like this game way better!" His hooves danced across the keyboard of the HoofBeatMania IIDX machine, hitting every one of the blizzard of notes that were streaking down the screen, while Neighponese pop music that only Pinkie Pie could have danced to blasted from the speakers.
Button found a moment to grin and give a hoofs up to Tender Taps across the room, and Tender Taps actually noticed and gave him a hoofs up back, even though he was putting the Prance Prance Revolution machine through a Double Extreme Mode dance routine. Between the two of them, they were drawing quite a crowd.
Button's bonus round song eventually ended, though, and he hopped off the machine to give Snips and Snails a turn. "Whew... my hooves are still tingling."
Discord reappeared in a flash, wearing sunglasses, a hoofball cap on backwards, and a t-shirt with a triangle, square, circle, and X. He smirked, steepling his claw and paw together. "Now, what have we learned?"
Button Mash hoof-shrugged. "I could read all the arrows on the dance machine no problem, but I'm not a dancer. Or... athletic in any way really." He furrowed his brow, propeller spinning a bit faster. "Why should I have to actually exercise and stuff? My special talent is all things gaming, right? What if I wanted to play, you know, hoofball? Heh, not that I would, because hoofball is dumb and boring."
The Spirit of Chaos tisked. "So, you think that you should be able to do *anything* so long you can frame it as a game? Ooh, let's play 'I believe I can fly!'" He poofed into a Supermare costume with 'CGG' instead of the usual logo on the chest. "No wait, let's play the game of politics and rule Equestria!" Another flash, and he was wearing a princely peytral and crown and holding a golden scepter with the likeness of Princess Twilight's head.
Button frowned thoughtfully.
Discord zapped the costumes away, and put an arm around the colt. "Button, Button... you already won the cutie mark lottery. Don't go getting greedy."
The owner of the arcade, a pudgy earth pony stallion with a beard, pushed through the crowd and came stamping up to Discord, red-faced. "Hey, how am I supposed to make any money with that machine!? It only takes Neighponese coins!"
"Well, of course it does," said Discord. "It was never officially exported to Equestria. Why do you think I set it on freeplay?" He nudged Button. "You see? Some ponies just don't know how to bite their tongue and say thank you when good fortune comes their way."
Button Mash gasped, then grinned sheepishly. "Hey, calm down!" he urged the owner. "If you yell at Discord, he'll just take the machine away! The coin boxes are interchangeable, right? Even foreign ones?"
The arcade owner closed his mouth, wheels turning in his head. "Yeah... yeah, that's right!"
Button grinned. "So let's put a regular bit coinbox in! I can help."
Session 19.5 Alex Warlorn
"OW!" Lyra bumped her head her head against the mirror.
Twilight smirked. "Good thing that mirror doesn't work all the time." 'Like when it had Sunset Shimmer's journal in it or isn't part of the normal 2 and a half year cycle. Which is... due any day now. But I'm not about to tell her that. "Now get out of my castle."
+
A promise was a promise was a promise. And Shining Armor had promised Prince Blueblood that he could sit in on one of their games.
"Here ya go." Said Gaffer, as maturely as he could. "I prepared a character for you."
Gaffer had actually resisted the temptation to make Blueblood a joke character that would die in seconds in battle and they could get him out of their manes faster.
"Thank you, but I've brought my own." Blueblood said. "This is the right level for your adventure party isn't it?" He offered a character sheet of his own.
"Wait wait wait, YOU READ the manual?!" Gizmo gasped in shock. Blue blood was known as several things by those who knew the Elements of Harmony. A coward. Spoiled Rotten. Rude. Classist. And STUPID.
"Of course, why wouldn't I of? I'll admit, I was rather surprised at the lack of throwing dice at ogres." Blueblood said. "But I think I shall surprise you. I am in fact a good improvised actor if I do say so myself."
Eight Bit rolled his eyes. "The way I heard it, you did pretty much the opposite at the Grand Galloping Gala. You couldn't role play as a fairy tale prince to save your flank." The fact he was speaking to a Prince of Equestria meant very little when that prince was Prince BLUEBLOOD.
Gaffer meanwhile thought, 'Likely some 'royal mandate all 18s munchkin, well, I have ways of dealing with... hm. "Strength average, constitution below average, wisdom slightly above average, charisma... VERY high... intelligence above average... " What was that joke about players shouldn't be allowed to play characters with a higher intelligence and/or wisdom score than them? "HOLD ON! You chose aristocrat?!"
"There's nothing in the rules against it, I checked."
"But that's an NPC class!"
"There's nothing in the rules against it."
Gaffer sighed, maybe this would take the pompous prince down a peg. "Fine. On you head be it... wait a second, you took the Leadership feat?"
"I'm the correct level, and chrisma score for it. I've provided a list of my cohorts and followers."
"... I am not role playing your servants." Gaffer said matter of fact.
"Very well they can just be in the background serving their function." Blueblood said smiling.
Shining Armor realized what this meant, 'So in other words... the NPCs servants with no personalities or motives or goals of their own... the kind of servants Blueblood I imagine would love to have. Am I the only one to realize this?!'
Gaffer and the others weren't too worried, with Blueblood's legendary lack of common sense, he'd get himself killed, whine about it, make royal threats, be reminded he's on Crystal Empire grounds, and that Cadence could throw him in the dungeon for threatening the friends of her husband, and he'd run away with his tail between his legs, and all would be well.
Gaffer as a professional OM, had an encounter with his adventure party meeting Blueblood and his NPCs horde.
"Good heroes!" Blueblood said. "Would you care to join me in my caravan? I seek high adventure, and I sense so do you! Certainly we could be of use to each other!"
The relatively polite offer was surprising, but the adventurers went along with it.
Blueblood's weapons and armor were the best money could buy but still be within the 'gold value limit' of character's starting at that level. Gaffer was surprised at the lack of a Dancing +5 Keen Flaming Burst Vorpal Sword.
That fancy equipment of course made him actually fairly effective against goblins and orcs. Gaffer again resisted the urge to simply throw a pack of rust monsters at him... he couldn't come up with a good excuse for why they wouldn't attack the rest of the party.
Continuing with the previous session, the heroes found local robber baron half-dragon-unicorn and his entourage. Which include some heavily armored ogres.
Shining Armor sighed... if only Twiley could sit in some games again, her sorceress was always the power house they needed.
"Parlay!" Blueblood suddenly said.
"What?" Gaffer blinked.
"Parlay! I wish to negotiate!"
Shining Armor took out a strange device that his sister had brought back from the other side of the mirror. "Oh no, not this time! I am recording the entire thing!"
-Five Minutes later-
"The bewildered robber baron turns out his fortune to you, thank you for taking it off his hands, and peacefully turns himself in." Gaffer said barely believing it himself.
"HA! I got you now!" Shining Armor said... but the last five minutes only played back static. "What the heck?"
8-Bit said it. "You mean Bluebloood is THAT good not even the recorder can believe it?"
Session 19.6 Alex Warlorn and Mooncalf99
Pinkie Pie innocently found a discard strange device laying around the crystal palace. Didn't ponies know not to leave stuff from other universes laying around unless they were given to you by Megan Williams? Pinkie Pie pushed the play button.
Continuing with the previous session, the heroes found local robber baron half-dragon-unicorn and his entourage. Which include some heavily armored ogres.
Shining Armor sighed... if only Twiley could sit in some games again. Her sorceress was always the power house they needed.
"Parlay!" Blueblood suddenly said.
"What?" Gaffer blinked.
"Parlay! I wish to negotiate!"
Shining Armor narrowed his eyes and took a deep breath. This time, he'd pay attention to Blueblood's tricks. He would be wise to the prince's tricks this time. Besides... out of character, Blueblood was up against Gaffer. He might be able to use his schmoozing on impressionable nobles and unsuspecting yaks, but how long would his act stand up against 'The Demon GM of Canterlot Academy'?
"Well, good sir, to begin with, I do believe there's been a misunderstanding..."
~~~~~~
"The baron points out that he's still outnumbering you," Gaffer said.
"True, but is a life where only strength matter what you REALLY desire for your children?" Blueblood countered.
~~~~~~
"The baron laughs at your quip. He agrees."
"I know, right? Honestly, I'm glad to be out of the capital. At least in these parts, a pit of vipers have the decency of admitting to it. It's a breath of fresh air, really."
~~~~~~
"I'm just saying, a stallion of your ability could do so much better. For yourself, and for your community. Your friends have dreams too, after all. So maybe it would be an idea to..."
~~~~~~
"The robber baron turns out his fortune to you, thanks you for taking it off his hands, and peacefully turns himself in in order to clear his record." Gaffer said, barely believing it himself. "Assuming you do provide him with legal support to ease the process, he pledges you his loyalty as your... vassal..."
"Well, that was a happy turnout for everyone involved, wasn't it, gentlestallions?" Blueblood said cheerily. "Now then, let's proceed, shall we?"
Shining Armor's eye twitched. "What. The. Hay."
Session 19.7 Mtangalion
Fluttershy finished drawing a sketch on her character sheet. "I've decided... my Minotaur Adventures character will be a griffon ranger. She's dedicated to Agrotheron, the mistress of the wild hunt, and Callistis, the goddess of love and beauty. She's skilled with the longbow, wilderness survival and tracking... oh, and she has a timber wolf companion, if that's okay."
Rarity looked up from the reference tome she was skimming. "A griffon? Are you sure, darling? They're fierce and deadly warriors when they need to be, and in the ancient Tauran Peninsula they certainly did need to be."
Rainbow Dash poked a hoof at her. "Yeah, you're not going to cower and hide every time there's danger, are you? Cause, that would really tick *my* griffon off."
"A timber wolf sounds like quite a hooffull, too," mused Applejack.
"You mean, quite a clawful," said Spike brightly.
Fluttershy slammed a hoof on the table, rising up. "What, do you think I'm not tough enough for this game!? My griffon is as tough as they come! After all, why play nice when you can stab your enemies twice!?" Then she fell back into her chair, blushing. "Sorry... was that too much?"
Twilight blinked twice. "No, no, that's great! So long as it's just part of the game."
Pinkie Pie popped up next to Fluttershy from beneath the table and gave her a squeaky grin. "You really did sound tough! Have you been practicing?"
"Um, well..."
Gilda reared up, wings spread and talons splayed as she ROARED right in Fluttershy's face. Birds went scattering out of the trees in all directions... even in the Everfree Forest, not many creatures wanted to mess with an angry griffon. Gilda settled back to the ground and brushed some imaginary dust off her shoulder, keeping it cool. "Okay, now you."
Fluttershy nodded. "Hhhaaaahhhhh!!" she shouted back at Gilda.
"Needs more oomph," said Gilda. "Come on, pony, big deep breath. Pretend like... I just stepped on one of your lame ducklings."
Fluttershy gasped.
Gilda grinned. "Yeah, just picture me stepping on a duckling and *laughing* about it. Ooh, I'm such a big meanie. What do ya say?"
Fluttershy's eyes narrowed, burning red. "Hhhrrrraaaagh!!!" she bellowed, actually blasting Gilda into the air. The griffon had to flap her wings hard to keep from getting blown away.
Gilda panted, combing her crest back into place. "Nice! How did you get the bear roar in there?"
"Um... it's not hard, when you speak bear." Fluttershy smiled, blushing.
Fluttershy grinned at Pinkie. "Yes, maybe I have been practicing, just a little."
Session 19.8 Alex Warlorn
"AAAAHHHH!" Cheerilee shouted as she swung her chain mace.
"HMMMMHMMMM!" Retorted Marble Pie as she met with her war hammer. Both mares dressed in the traditional barding of earth pony knights. The two dueled in Ponyville Square.
"Wow! Cheerilee and Marble Pie are really getting into LARPing!" Princess Twilight Sparkle said looking happily out the window.
"Gee are YOU naive!" Gilda snorted. "Back in Griffinstone I could sell tickets for this!"
"Big Mac shall be mine!" Cheerilee shouted.
"NUH-UH!"
The purple pony finally took the time to notice the unconscious forms of Tealove and Sweetcream Scoops already lay twitching on the ground in similar raiments.
Dash zoomed next to the window. "Don't worry! Here come the Wonderbolt to fix this!"
Fleetfoot zoomed towards the pair, decked out as a traditional Pegasopolis warrior. "HE AND I ARE DESTINY!" She swung down the sword.
"Okay! Okay!" Spike came running to Twilight's side. "I sent a letter to the princess! She'll fix this!"
A black tornado came out of nowhere, reaching down from the sky, which then materialized into Princess Luna, with a lance and decked out in black night guard armor.
"We have fell dragons and battled against fellow gods! Ye shall kneel before thin goddess of the night or be cursed with unending-" The other three jumped her at once. "OW! OW! HEY! OW! We command ye stop that!"
"Uh, wrong princess?" Spike said sheepishly.
Twilight Sparkle cringed. "I wonder how things are going on the other side of the mirror."
+
The youngest teacher in the history of Canterlot High School pounded with the Pinkie Pie's exchange student sister.
"Hmmmhmmm!" Marble Pie taunted.
"I am not too old for him!" Cheerilee hissed, as she traded punches in the boxing ring with Marble Pie. Spike the Talking Dog SOMEHOW had found himself in the position of referee.
"Okay! I've two five bucks on the mute, and ten bucks on freckles!" An older teenage girl in a flight jacket said in the seats surrounding the ring.
"Gilda!" Rainbow Dash snapped.
"Chill Dash, chill."
Session 19.9 zaku789
"I HAVE WINNER!!" Fleetfoot roared incoherently as she was viciously attacking the punching bag for practice.
"Yeesh. How the Devil did ya get this many girls interested in ya?" Applejack asked.
"It's tough bein' the handsome one," Big Mac sighed.
Session 19.10 Mtangalion
Sweetie Belle adjusted her deerstalker cap and blew bubbles on a pipe. She didn't know why she had to do that, but Miss Pinkie Pie had assured her it was vitally important. "The game is ahoof, Bloom! Now then, I bet you are all wondering why I've called you here, darlings."
Three young ponies stood in the uncomfortable glare of the school drama department's spotlight: Scootaloo... Tender Taps, who looked uncannily like a earth pony colt version of Scootaloo... and Archer, who looked like Scootaloo painted blue with a different cutie mark
Sweetie paced dramatically in front of them. "Two ponies looking like cuts-and-pastes of each other is strange, but three is more than just coincidence! One of you three must be a secret changeling!"
"Or a Diamond Wolf in a costume," suggested Apple Bloom.
Sweetie glared at her. "Oh, come on! ... I mean... don't be absurd, darling. There's no way a wolf could fit in a costume that small."
"Ah reckon maybe she could," countered Apple Bloom. "It's a magic costume. Or maybe she's a really small wolf! Nopony knows what that 'Alisa' varmit really looks like, after all."
Scootaloo groaned. "This is stupid! We've spent half our lives doing everything together. Please tell me you can tell I'm me and not some fake."
"And I've been in your class for years," complained Archer. She pointed at Tender Taps. "He's the one that just showed up out of nowhere a couple weeks ago. Him and that dance studio."
Apple Bloom grinned. "Ah thought mah sister had a secret werewolf coltfriend once. Turns out, Ah just overheard one of those scary black and white shaky-camera movies. What were we talking about again?"
"Sorry I'm late!" said another Scootaloo, trotting into the room. "Thanks for covering for me, Kevin!"
The Scootaloo in the spotlight was wreathed in green flames, a shiny black carapace replacing orange fur. "Anytime," said Kevin, buzzing his wings and flying out the door.
"So what's the meeting about?" asked the real Scootaloo, while Sweetie Belle facehoofed.
A few blocks from the school, Kevin slipped into an alleyway and trotted back out looking just like Applejack. A certain white unicorn mare with a purple mane trotted up, walking alongside him.
"Compliments of the prince," said Kevin in Applejack's drawl, hoofing over a folded sheet of paper.
'Rarity' scanned it, then grinned wolfishly.
The next day, Rarity stormed into the Cutie Map room and flung a newspaper onto the table, in front of a startled Princess Twilight. "Racist Game Designer is a Closet Carnivore!" read the page two headline, with a full color photo of 'Rarity' feasting on prime rib, surrounded by griffons cheering her on. "Of course you know, darling, this means war."
Session 19.11 zaku789
Kelvin did a double-take "WHAT THE WHAT! I'm BEING SUED!!!"
Twilight sparkle nodded. "I'm sorry but yes."
"But why, I didn't do anything-"
"A pony saw you change into Applejack and talked to Rarity about something and the next day the paper showed this article," Twilight said holding the newspaper.
"Oh..." Kelvin said. "But what the big deal, she eats eggs!" Twilight just gave a annoyed look as she pointed out the key word in the title. "Oh right... forgot prime rib came from cows... but still getting sue for slander, isn't that too harsh?"
"Look I'm doing this more for your sake. Do you know how mad Rarity is by being label as a racist?"
"Uh..."
"VERY! If she had her way, you and your friend would be begging for mercy by the time Rarity is done with you, and the only mercy you'll have is that she won't harm your loved ones!"
"Ah..." Kelvin gulped. "Suddenly getting sued for slander doesn't sound so bad."
Session 19.12 Mtangalion
Kevin made a sort of awkward buzzing cough, then gave Twilight a sly grin. "Of course you realize... this has all been a most unfortunate misunderstanding! I'm just a simple messenger, after all! An... arranger of this and that. We changelings are so misunderstood."
Twilight arched a brow. "You don't say?"
"Princess Twilight, if I'd known that I was delivering messages to an infamous spy and not the true Lady Rarity... Indeed, I'll be more than happy to cooperate with your investigation however I can."
Twilight smiled. "Then you won't mind repeating your story for my good friend Applejack, surely."
Kevin's face fell. "That wouldn't be my first choice... but of course, of course!"
In the Cutie Map room, Applejack looked at her gathered friends and shook her head. "He didn't lie, exactly, but he's slipperier than Flim and Flam's hair gel, and we've got no hard evidence."
"That's alright," said Rarity, pacing the room. "I have another plan to capture Alisa. This 'Wolf Game' has gone on quite long enough."
Session 19.13 Mtangalion
"I still think we can lure her out with a party!" said Pinkie Pie. "I just haven't thrown one big enough yet!"
Starlight Glimmer crossed her forelegs, deep in thought. "If I went back in time to an event where we know Alisa was present, I could get a detailed scan of her costume and..." Twilight and Spike turned to glare at her. "Right, forget I said anything..."
Rarity cleared her throat. "Let's keep those plans in reserve, shall we? I've asked Princess Luna to aid us."
Rainbow Dash yawned and hovered closer. "What for? We've already got one princess on the case."
Twilight smiled sheepishly. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, Rainbow, but this magic costume of hers is warded against detection spells. Neither Starlight nor I have found a spell that works." She blinked. "But it's far less likely that Alisa's *dreams* are protected!"
Rarity grinned. "Precisely, darling. Luna will be here tonight, and when our wolf goes to sleep, unsuspecting, she's as good as caught!"
"Unless she gets wind of our plan somehow," mused Applejack.
Fluttershy gasped. "Oh my! What if she's here right now, disguised as one of us?"
Rarity chuckled, kneading her hooves together. "Normally, I'd say there was no way she could possibly anticipate our meeting here and now to discuss action against her, but since we can't be too careful..." She reached down and put a big bag on the map table. "I brought plenty of glamour dispelling powder, and no pony or dragon is leaving this room until..." She froze, then started looking all around. "Where's Pinkie?"
Several blocks from the castle, Pinkie Pie skidded to a stop, panting with her tongue hanging out. She leaned against a building and peered around the corner, and immediately got startled by a deep voice behind her.
"Why, howdy there, Miss Pie," said Big Macintosh. "Ya don't seem like yer usual bouncy self. Say... how about we stop by Sugarcube Corner and have a couple of those double chocolate frosted cupcakes? Ah bet that would cheer ya right up."
Pinkie Pie whimpered, then put on a nervous grin. "Heh, heh... maybe later! Ooh, I sense a party emergency somewhere! Gotta run!"
Pinkie hopped around a corner out of sight... then winced, rubbing aching hooves, and took off running again. She reached behind a convenient boulder... and pulled out a miniature party cannon. "What?!" She shoved it back behind the rock, and pulled out a cake topped with lit birthday candles... "Come on, come on..." She threw the cake away and pulled out a baggy costume. "Yes!"
Pinkie dove behind the rock... and Fluttershy trotted away from it, making for her cottage. "Now I'll just help myself to some meat and..." Something small flew through the air, bouncing off her head. "Ow! Who..."
Angel Bunny was sitting on Fluttershy's front porch, tapping a paw impatiently.
Fluttershy blinked. "What's that? I mean... I didn't quite understand. My ears have been a little stuffed up and..." Two more walnuts bounced off her head. "Ow! You're being a bad bunny." Then she grinned wide, licking a raspy tongue over revealed fangs. "A very bad bunny...."
Angel Bunny reached behind his back... and clapped a collar made of solid moonlight around Fluttershy's neck. "You are already within my dream," he said, in Princess Luna's voice.
In the waking world, Princess Luna opened her eyes and ended the spell joining her with the circle of ponies on the floor, all tucked into sleeping bags. "Hah! The prey is caught!"
Rainbow Dash yawned mightily and rolled over, and Pinkie Pie murmured something about double chocolate frosted cupcakes, but Rarity was awake and alert quickly. "It worked? Where is she?"
Luna beamed. "Wait but half a moment, and I will summon her to us." She cast a powerful spell into the Cutie Map table, and another Rarity appeared in a whirlwind of magic, hooves clawing at a moonlight collar around her neck.
"Don't believe her, darlings!" cried the second Rarity. "I'm the real one... she's the wolf!" But Twilight levitated a sack of glamour dispelling powder and dumped it on her head. The fake Rarity's colors ran and dissolved, leaving a patchwork costume that only vaguely resembled Rarity.
The real Rarity grinned darkly, levitating a dozen pairs of scissors. "How I've looked forward to this..."
When all the snipping and yelping and whining was over with, Rarity cleared away the scraps to reveal a small cowering white Diamond Wolf with gray sock-paws and face markings. "Well? What do you have to say for yourself?!"
Alisa moved her forepaws, uncovering her golden eyes one at a time. Then she prostrated herself at Rarity's hooves, and rolled to expose her throat and belly. "You win. You unmasked Alisa. I am being yours now, mistress."
Rarity blinked. "What? Seriously?"
Session 19.14 Kichi
"So... What are we playing today?" Asked Rainbow Dash looking to the others.
"Oh, I have a new power ponies enchanted comic, it's strange because I don't remember buying it, but the messenger insisted it was for me... It seems a crossover where we fight some of the enemies of Batmare and she fight some of our enemies," comment Spike.
The girls, as they don't find something wrong, decide to give it a try.
==
"Okay... That's enough!" Shouted Twilight as they exited from the enchanted comic.
"Ummm... well, that was certainly strange and uncouth..." commented Rarity looking at the others, as Fluttershy was trying to calm Pinkie even when she seemed a little out of touch.
"What's exactly the problem? It was funny!" Said Rainbow as she laughed a little.
"Come on, it was obvious those villains were a parody of us... I mean, the first one, that Riddle villain pony, that was a strange lavender unicorn pony wearing a suit that used enigmas to confuse us and toy with us..." Said Twilight, angry as she looked to the others...
"Come on, really, what was that of 'What weighs six ounces, sits in a tree, and is very dangerous?' and it was a sparrow with a machine gun. That was not funny, even if maybe that could be a coincidence, but then we find a strange yellow pegasus with the power of dominate the plants that wanted to protect her plant friends. After that we find a strange classy white pony with a umbrella that called herself the Queen Penguin and the last one, that 'Jokester' was a copy of Pinkie," commented angry Twilight looking as Pinkie Pie was in fetal position.
"Jokes are not like that, smiles are not evil..." muttered Pinkie.
"I'm very sure that if we continue in there, we could find a parody of Rainbow Dash and Applejack."
"Maybe she'd be Scary Crow? Like her costume that Nightmare Night?" Rainbow Suggested.
"Not helping! Who the Pony Hell created that enchanted comic?" Asked Twilight.
"Errr... Let's see... 'Power Ponies in Gotham', patronized by... QUEEN CHRYSALIS?!" Gasped Spike surprised.
Session 19.15 Dragon-of-Twilght
Rainbow Dash blinked, glancing around the Cutie Map at her friends and then back to the wrapped package in front of Fluttershy. "So... where did you get this again?"
"The stallion who runs the coffee shop gave it to me this morning; he said he had helped with making it and wanted us to play-test it... he was very insistent it be us, actually..."
Applejack and Rarity shared a look at this, and Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "O...kay? I mean, it's been a while since we play-tested something."
"I'm game!" Pinkie bounced in her crystal throne, confetti somehow appearing as she did.
Twilight, deciding not to question Pinkie, slowly nodded. "Okay, I suppose we can give it a try." However, even as she said that, she couldn't shake a growing feeling of dread within her.
Fluttershy simply started to carefully unwrap the package to reveal... another wrapped up package, with a letter attached to it. "Huh?"
The mane 6 blinked a few times, before Twilight managed to grab the letter with her magic and levitate it over to her.
Please exercise a tiny bit of self-control and don't burn this the moment you open it. At least wait until you actually read the story.
Twilight looked around the table as she read the short letter aloud. "Um..."
Pinkie, now more subdued, fidgeted in her seat. "Um... maybe it won't be so bad?"
Applejack was a lot more blunt. "Ah have a bad feelin' about this..."
Fluttershy hesitated, but started to unwrap the next layer of packaging. However, when she looked at the book under the wraps, she shrieked and dove behind her throne.
Dash scoffed. "Oh come on, Shy." She flapped over the table to grab the book. "How bad could-" She saw the book and her eyes shrank to pinpricks. "NOPE!" She tossed it away. "No way, no how, not happening!"
The book slid across the table, ending up in front of Twilight, who could only gape at what she saw. Sitting right in front of her, and already sporting more than a few singes, was a book she'd long since thought gone. "'Warhorse: Equestria'?! We destroyed this!"
"We destroyed it twice!" Applejack slammed a hoof on the map. "How in the hay did the feller who works at the coffee shop git his hooves on it?"
"H-he didn't say," Fluttershy squeaked from behind her chair. "B-but th-then again, I didn't think to ask him."
"To Tartarus with his note," Dash shouted, "lets just burn this and be done with it!"
"Agreed!" Twilight picked the book up and started to channel a fire spell, when another note slipped out from between the book's pages. She blinked then set the book down to read it as well.
Since I doubt my first note convinced you, I'm going to ask you, again, to hold off on destroying the book.
I know what the original was like; believe me, I read it. But, while the original wasn't anything all that entertaining outside of a passing curiosity, I think there's an idea to be found within it. To that end, I've rewritten the story a bit and reworked the setting. I think this one may be a bit more palatable for you; and, if not, well, I had fun making it.
So, please, just read the background info before you decide to destroy it.
----- C.S. Owner and Proprietor of Beautiful Day Cafe.
The six of them (Fluttershy peeking around the throne) all glanced between each other.
"Well..." Rarity shifted slightly, trying to be as diplomatic as possible with her response. "I... suppose we could work give the backstory a glance..."
"Crystals and Rainbows on standby." Pinkie Pie was a lot more subdued, having pulled the game out of nowhere.
Twilight gulped, and slowly opened the singed book.
"Okay... starts about the same, yeah. Discord and Sombra both attacked at the same time.
Lets see... Luna was twisted into Nightmare Moon by Sombra's magic, and helped him gain a strong foothold in Equestria. Celestia... sacrificed herself in a fight with Discord and transferred her power to... BBBFF?!"
The other five collectively blinked. "Huh?"
"That's what it says." She turned the book to show a picture of Alicorn Prince Shining Armor. "Apparently, the six of us were still corrupted in this version; three by Discord and three by Sombra. But the Elements all passed to others." She turned the page. "Apparently, Spike took over the Element of Magic from me."
"Really!?" Spike hopped up and grabbed the book. "Huh. It says here I'm in full greed mode, but I use the element to keep myself sane... and I train other mages in Equestria's army."
"Yes." Twilight grabbed the book back form him. "That seems to be the default for the new elements; heading armies for Equestria. Big Macintosh has Honesty, and Sweetie Belle got Generosity; Laughter went to Cheese Sandwich, and Kindness and Loyalty went to... Seabreeze and Gilda?!"
"What?" "Really?" Said Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy respectively.
"Yeah," Twilight barely seemed to believe it herself as she continued to read. "Apparently, the breezies can't harvest the pollen they need with Equestria in this state, and the gryphons don't want to be taken over by Sombra and Discord, so they both Allied with Equestria."
"So Ah'm guessin' there ain't nothin' keeping Equestria sealed in this one."
"Well... there is and there isn't." Twilight skimmed over a few more pages. "Apparently, Sombra has tried to seal it off, but Cadance's magic is highly damaging to his own and she's managed to keep some of the borders open. Discord's antics haven't helped him much there either. The two are as much enemies to each other as they are to Equestria, and they're each the main reason the other hasn't overwhelmed Equestria yet."
"What about Tirek?"
Twilight skimmed a few more pages. "He's not in here, but the author has some notes that say he's working on a module to add him later. He also says it's just a first draft, so he wants us to try and break it as much as we possibly can."
The mares all looked at each other, it was finally Dash who spoke up. "Well... it doesn't sound nearly as bad as what it was based on; I say we give it a go."
AJ nodded. "Might as well; I'll get to work on drawin' up some character sheets."
"I'll get some snacks." Pinkie Pie gently placed her game on a nearby shelf, just in case, and pronked off to the kitchen.
Twilight, sighing, set the book down on the table and started copying the game map on a large sheet of paper. Nopony seemed to be raising any objections, so they might as well see where it goes.
Session 19.16 Alex Warlorn
Rainbow Dash waved her hooves in the air, "Why the heck would Nightmare Moon work with Sombra? Ponies can't worship her as Equestria's one true Princess if they also have to answer to Sombra. And Sombra has as much reason to hate her as Discord since she was involved in both their first defeats. ... What? Reading all those Daring Do books got me to appreciate the whole 'in character' thing."
Applejack said slowly, "If Big Mac is honesty, I guess that means draconequus me didn't turn all our kin into draconequus too and have Apple Bloom throw away her family name as the last Apple making our family effectively extinct... "
Twilight said, "At least Celestia, BBBFF and Cadence aren't Sombra's minions in this. But that still doesn't explain where the heck Sombra got the power to turn ponies into crystalized minions. If he could have corrupted the crystal heart he'd have done that instead of hiding it."
Rarity asked, "Why not destroy it?"
Twilight answered, "I don't think Sombra wanted his slaves to freeze to death, I don't think even he was quite insane enough to want to be king of nothing."
Dash asked, "What about Discord turning us into Draconequus?"
"He's Discord, I'd be more surprised if he COULDN'T do that... but I imagine Discord might be happy if he's the ACTUAL supreme spirit of chaos here instead of a minion to an EVEN BIGGER absolute force of chaos like in the first version, I didn't check."
Applejack said, "It doesn't mention Apple Bloom and her friends giving up their cutie marks to get back the Elements..."
Twilight said, "Considering their special talent is getting a pony to remember their true destiny, I think that's likely a plus. My main concern is that when they were the bearers of two elements at once in the ... original... version, they way they embodied those virtues weren't ways I'd ever want to see them expressed. Sombra and Discord had already won in the way that matters when you have an Equestria that has to be ruthless and brutal as the enemy to survive."
Rainbow Dash asked, "Like how the Jokester would take it as a win if he ever got Batmare to break her 'no kill rule' and killed him?"
"Yes!"
Rarity asked, "You don't seem as... angry as I thought you'd be darling at hearing Celestia had... sacrificed herself."
"It's... it's something she'd do and... it's better than having her character and her likeness dragged through the mud like the first version did."
Session 19.17 Alex Warlorn
Princess Twilight took in a deep breath and sighed. "Even if half a dozen mares are making fools out of themselves trying to win Big Mac like he was some sort of prize... at least I can take solace in that I don't have ponies dueling over me... "
Twilight should have known better than to say that.
- Star Wars, Duel of Fate -
Starlight Glimmer back pedaled into the room of Twilight's castle, as Sunset Shimmer chased after her.
Enchanted hilts were held in the grip of their telekinesis. A energy blade was projected from the hilts' base, clashing and sparking as the two mare epically dueled in front of Princess Twilight Sparkle.
"THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE APPRENTICE!" Sunset Shimmer shouted, flaring flaming wings. "No more, no less! And it shall be me!"
"I won't have friends taken from me a third time!" Starlight Glimmer shouted in defiance. The unicorns then did impressive backflips across the table, followed by Sunset punching Glimmer in the face when their weapons locked again.
"GIRLS! GIRLS! STOP!" Twilight shouted. "There's no need for violence! And where is that dramatic latin chanting coming from?!"
Twilight pulled the lightsabers beam swords out of their telekinesis. "There! Now we can discuss this reasonably!"
Without missing a beat, like the unicorns of ancient times, a blade of light extended from their horns and continued their battle. And the background music entered its second movement.
Princess Luna looked inside via a window and gave a cry of delight. "Forsooth! We doth thought that all our of the tradition of old were extinct! Our royal heart is truly warmed this day!"
Twilight sank to the floor and covered her eyes giving a moan of frustration and misery. "At least Trixie isn't here as a contender..." Twilight realized what effect her words had had before and looked around in terror and fear knowing EXACTLY what was about to happen.
Session 19.18 BrutalityInc
The main doors of the Friendship Castle throne room swung open, and a unicorn with a dark, sinister, yet strangely familiar cloak draped over her body came forth towards the Cutie-Map table.
"There are always two." The unicorn mare began, as she pulled back her hood to reveal her identity. "A master and a student, one to embody power, the other to crave it."
Trixie's eyes narrowed, and her horn glowed. Another enchanted hilt came out from under her cloak. With a flick of her magic, it activated - and two arcane beams, one from each end of the hilt, appeared.
"There can be no other student, and there can never be, except for I!" Trixie finished her declaration, spinning and whipping her double-bladed beam sword back and forth in a stunning display, before putting on a stance and pointing her hoof towards one of the dueling mares, "Starlight Glimmer! I challenge you for the honour of being Twilight Sparkle's student!"
"Get in line, usurper!" Sunset Shimmer snapped at her, even as she deflected magic missiles from Starlight Glimmer and prepare to unload a bolt of lightning at her adversary in turn.
Twilight Sparkle merely face-hoofed in exasperation as Trixie Lulamoon plunged into the fray.
I wonder if Discord has anything to do with this...
Session 19.19 Dragon-of-Twilght
Elsewhere.....
"I sense something," Discord said, looking off into the distance. "As if a pony was cursing my name, and their own existence at the same time."
The wind stilled, the birds became silent, background music started to ominously play as the lighting in the immediate area began to darken...
"Eh, it's probably nothing." And everything suddenly snapped back to normal. "I wonder if Fluttershy has the time for a spot of tea."
Session 19.20 Alex Warlorn (Spoilers for Gauntlet of Fire)
"So ... no parasitic little black clouds today?" Gaffer asked.
"No parasitic little black clouds." Shining Armor confirmed.
+
"Spike... take a letter... TO PRINCESS CELESTIA this time... Spike... where'd you go?" Twilight asked concerned for her little baby dragon.
"MINE!" Echoed a massive terrible voice.
Twilight's eyes became pin pricks. "Oh no."
She looked out the window. But saw not Spikezilla. Instead, she saw poor little Spike... being fought over like a favorite doll, by two greed-growth spurted drakainas (which she had learned was the formal name for a female dragon).
"LET HIM GO! AS YOUR DRAGON LORD, I COMMAND YOU!" Shouted a large blue dragon holding a scepter with a glow red stone atop.
"THE WHOLE REASON WE FOUNDED DRAGON TOWN WAS TO GET AWAY FROM YOUR DAD! AND BY TIAMAT I'M CERTAINLY NOT TAKING YOUR ORDERS!" Shouted an equally large brownish dragoness with a large pink mane. "WE AREN'T BULLIES LIKE YOU!" Mina verbally threw down the gauntlet.
"YOU TAKE THAT BACK! AND I'LL TAKE SPIKE!" Dragon Lord Ember snarled.
"NOT ON YOUR LIFE! I'M GONNA TAKE YA DOWN LIKE GLOOMSDAY DID SUPERSTALLION!"
They rammed against one of the crystal castle's towers... cracking it...
"At least things can't get worse." Twilight gasped in horror and covered her mouth. Too late.
"MY SPIKEY-WICKEY!" Boomed a large, beautiful white dragoness with purple ridges and wings, and gorgeous blue eyes. In spite of his terror, Spike couldn't help but think he'd never found Rarity so attractive as in this moment. "I SAW HIM FIRST!" Spike thought that even Rarity's fire breath was lovely.
"... When I find out who did that species-transformation spell for her..." Twilight said darkly.
There was now a three way dragon brawl over Spike going on above Ponyville.
Twilight dimly recalled that she'd been wanting to open a trade agreement with Dragon Lord Ember for pillows that some dragons desired. But the traditional dragon mentality of 'want, take, have', made it a difficult to explain how trade WORKED to the Dragon Lord, even compared to the Diamond Dogs, not Ember's fault, she'd lived her entire life amount dragons.
Twilight truly wished she knew the mailing address of Mina's grandfather right now. Plus, if the dragon head of state destroyed Ponyville over Spike... Twilight didn't think dragon/pony relations were really going to improve. Not to mention poor Rarity.
"TRIXIE! I NEED YOUR HELP!"
"A little busy Sparkle!" Trixie shouted as she was still trading laser blade blows with Sunset Shimmer and Starlight Glimmer. And still wearing that black costume.
And the exciting and high paced background chanting wasn't stopping.
"Princess Twilight Sparkle." Princess Luna said. "We believe that while we approve of the rites of succession in such manners, and we do not wish to intrude on what is clearly an internal dragon matter... and we are still working out time share among the other mares wishing to share Sir Big Macintosh... we do believe things have gotten out of hand."
Twilight Sparkle gave her senior Princess a lot that screamed 'You think?' so loud that if it was audible, they'd have heard it in Neighpon.
"Ye have need of Trixie?"
"Maybe. She knows Mina's grandfather, one of the dragons lost in dragon greed right now."
"And the other is fair Rarity, unused to dragon instinct, and the last is Tiamat's new proxy among her children? Very well."
Luna then zapped Sunset Shimmer and Starlight Glimmer, they fell asleep on their hooves.
Princess Luna then said in the royal Canterlot Voice. "Tis duel is suspended until the dragon crisis is solved!"
Trixie... didn't feel in the mood with argue with the former Nightmare Moon.
Twilight realized the chanting hadn't stopped. "Wait a minute." She marched to the nearby closet... and tore it open... revealing three mutant seaponies.
"YOU!" Twilight Sparkle snarled darkly.
"Uh.... hi?" Sanato meekly waved with a fin. "Uh... we're storing up food for the long winter months?"
"Twilight Sparkle," Adagio began darkly, then fell flat on my muzzle after she tried to rise up and look down on the young Alicorn. "Agh! I forgot how fins aren't very useful on land! This was so much easier when I could just levitate."
"So THAT'S WHERE THAT SLIMLY TRAIL CAME FROM THIS MORNING!"
"Hey! We're not slimly!" Aria protested.
"But you are about to be deep fried! I thought you lost your power!"
"If we had it back, would we be hiding in your closet?" Adagio grumbled. "We can't sing to save our lives in the human world, literally. But there's enough ambient magic in Equestria to do a normal heart song. YOU took away our ability to feed in case you forgot!"
"We didn't MAKE THEM want anything like we did with all the thralls, I mean students at your high school, we just... gave things a tiny nudge? I mean... a girl's gotta eat right?" Aria defended.
"Thanks for showing us where the portal was by the way." Sonata said to the sleeping Sunset Shimmer.
"That's it. I'm done leaving that portal open all the time." Twilight said.
"Trixie is very confused." Trixie said looking at the three sirens in Twilight's closet.
Twilight noticed that the mares hadn't stopped fighting over Big Mac, nor had the dragons stopped fighting over Spike, and Trixie still had in the look in her eyes to want to duel Sunset and Glimmer to be Twilight's student. Of course. Why would they stop? Why would it be that easy?
"NOT ANOTHER PEEP OUT OF YOU!" Twilight hissed and slammed the closet door closed and locked the sirens inside until she could toss them back into the human world and let Sunset deal with them.
Twilight felt the headache coming. "This is gonna be a long day."
Session 19.21 Grogar-the-oneser (Edits by Alex Warlorn)
"So let me get this straight, it was you who cause that spell to make Rarity into a dragon...." Twilight glared at Alisa, all three dragons were knocked out cold with a large bump on their head.
"My mistress asked me for help, and I gave it to her." Alisa shrugged.
"I guess I should be thankful you didn't somehow shrink the dragons to pony-sized," Twilight grumbled as it would be harder to knock the dragons out if they were able to continue their fight throughout Ponyville's various alleys. At least in greed-growth size she got a good clean shot at knocking them out without anymore property damage.
"Twilight I don't think I like girls fighting over me, even Rarity was being a bit too rough," Spike muttered. "Anypony knows a good chiropractor?"
"Don't worry Spike I doubt that they'll reach that level of fighting over you again," Twilight said. "And as for you three, are you done fighting over being my apprentice or are you going to continue to be obsessive jerks about this?"
"Well, we probably won't be acting like 'obsessive jerks' soon if it means you'll react like this," Sunset said. All three were straight jacketed and stuck in the air via a levitation spell.
"Seriously Sparkle, even Trixie thinks this is overkill for a little dispute," Trixie said.
"A LITTLE-" Twilight breathed in then breathed out. "We will discuss the intensity about what you three were doing later.
"Now as for you Big Macintosh, I'm assuming you wish it be settle in a calm matter and not in a way that would cause a lawsuit, especially since I'm assuming Sweetcream Scoop was just flirting in a playful way like she does for everypony, and not being crazy about it like the others."
"Yep."
"That happens often in Ponyville?" Sunset asked.
"Cloud Kicker is still not speaking to Sweetcream Scoop for making making the town think Cloud Kicker was a mating crazy mare."
"Objection, while we too were seeking to claim our right upon Sir Big Macintosh, we were trying to end the conflict as quickly as possible," Luna said annoyed.
"I know I was referring to Tealove, Fleetfoot, Cheerilee, and Marble Pie," Twilight said equally annoyed.
"Oh.... in that case please continue," Princess Luna said.
"I suggest going on a date with each mare on a different month and try to see which one you like best," Twilight said.
"We still said our idea was best Pricess Sparkle."
"Oh yes a harem, which in this state of mind would end in a fourway homicide." Twilight said.
"Well, when ye say it like that..." Luna said with a roll of her eyes.
Session 19.22 Ardashir
"Cadence, honey, did you see my three authentic hoof-made lightsabers?"
"No, and given how much it cost to have somepony make you real lightsabers, I think you'd keep a better eye on them!"
+
Rarity frowned at her new assistant. The she-wolf Alisa tried and failed to look innocent.
"Alisa, dear, while your -- loyalty, is appreciated, please don't steal any more spells out of Twilight's books. She'd let you borrow them if you had a good reason."
"I wanted to change my pack alpha into a dragon so she could defend her chosen mate-to-be from rival females. I didn't think Princess Twilight would see that as a good reason."
"... Well, you've got me there."
Sweetie Belle came into the room. "Hi, big sis! Hi, Alisa! Can we play again?"
Alisa cringed as Sweetie stood aside, revealing a tea set in her room. And several dozen ribbons and bows meant to be tied into a wolf's pelt.
"Mistress Rarity, must I?"
"You know the rules, Alisa," Rarity picked the wolf up with her magic and put her inside her little sister's room. Alisa yelped as the door closed and Sweetie descended on her with eyes gleaming and half a dozen bows in her magical grip. "If you do something wrong, you have to entertain Sweetie by doing whatever she asks. But only for an hour. That dragon-form spell was VERY helpful!"
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This was another fun chapter. Is the bit about Apple Bloom thinking Applejack had a werewolf colt-friend a reference to some other story, or was it just random?
7135526
It's a reference to the Pinkie Pie Variety Show.
7135659
Ironic.
Funniest one in a while. Particularly liked the Batman movie reference. And now i can't stop seeing Twilight as the Riddler.
7135959
Kichi will be happy to hear that.
Us.
Um..,
Yeah, I'd probably do the same honestly.
Nah, Oblivion.
Wat. Also, nervous.
Clever.
I swear am I the only one who doesn't think he looks like Scootaloo?
Dare I ask?
She's right, he's got quite a lot of experience.
DDR, calling it now.
It's interesting to see Blueblood be somewhat polite and the vanishing butler trope.
Getting a Catwoman/Batman vibe. Also, this is nice.
Smart.
Again, Nice! Blueblood is refreshing.
I doubt that. You can try apologizing, that might work.
Brony opinions on her in a nutshell.
He's not wrong.
Duplicitous, diplomat, same thing.
It's the sign of insanity.
Priceless wisdom, eh?
Fair enough.
And the Twixie fans booed.
And the Twixie fans squeed.
Not untrue.
Heh.
Clever girl. Guy.
True, but if you don't exercise, you're going to end up gaining weight, and you'll be hurting your body, or at least risking shortening your life span a bit.
Is yelling at Discord really that smart?
OK, this got a chuckle out of me. Also one her head.
He's not wrong.
This should be fun.
Apparently.
No, just fine. You could be a good actress.
Oh dear.
Neat.
Wat.
So could I!
Of course.
Not who you were expecting, huh?
HOW?!
What? I'd so it.
And all around the world, stallions and men FUMED.
Ooh, Sherlock Holmes!
How did you even?
Oi...
Oh dear.
What?
Ah.
Oh yeah.
Oh?
Wat?
You're not the Doctor, Starlight. Time travel doesn't always fix things.
Good point.
Shit.
Wat?
Nice work!
Um...
Eh?
Oh boy.
Not normally, no.
Petty.
Warhammer?
Hello?
Interesting.
...Really?
I see.
Ah, a debug build, as such.
Please.
Fair enough.
True.
DragonequuI.
Fair enough.
Precisely. Which is why I always wondered, why didn't they KO him, and keep him sedated all the time somewhere deep beneath the Artic where he's alive, but even IF he escapes somehow, he can't threaten Gotham.
She should have. CUE DUEL OF THE FATES!
I called it. I FRAKING CALLED IT!
Oh YES!
*whistles innocently and hides music player*
SO AWESOME!
*grins*
Trixie is best Darth Maul.
Probably.
Oh that poor poor drake.
This is a catfight of EPIC proportions! It warms my heart to see you can still write ridiculously awesome.
You fool!
Wikey. Also, she's not wrong.
Discord.
AROUND dragons, and good point.
*excited giggling*
YA THINK?! Also, HOOF.
Aww!
Smart.
This is hilarious!
She's mad.
SOnatA. That's an amusing way of miswriting it though.
Oh yeah.
Smart.
You three were the ones reenacting a 3 way lightsaber duel!
Ah.
Twilight doesn't have the patience for this.
Heh.
This amuses me.
Geez, and I thought Terriermon's Princess Pretty Pants treatment was bad.
7135981 Yes, I'm happy and thank you for the help.
P.S:
A little typo with Sonata.
7136545
Thank you so much for the commentary dude!!!! And happy this chapter made you laugh.
Once again, I was laughing while the characters were growing.
Griffons. They have twice as large a wing span as Pegasi, right? That would explain a lot about Flurry, if she was conceived when Shining Armor was turned into a Griffon and "plundering the Abysmal Abyss."
Wait, Button is asking the questions? Why isn't Sweetie Bell asking Button why he was cuddled up to Berry Pinch at the recital, instead of taking her? Is Button racing milkshakes with another filly?
I loved this entire scene. It definitely fits with the new, post #26 Blueblood we've seen.
Ehhh. I always figured Rarity was the only one of the Mane 6 who, if they had been in Harry Potter, would have been a Slytherin. She can appreciate a little harmless duplicity if it's done for the right reasons, like being a diplomat.
Dangit, now my shipping goggles won't turn off. If Trixie is looking to romance a friend, it looks like there is a pretty obvious option literally right in front of her at the moment. Also, I'm sure they were both cheating in one way of another this entire time, I just couldn't spot it.
Once again you guys are nailing Blueblood. He knows these guys are friends of a fellow prince, so to him they are all automatically in the category of "important ponies I should get in good with."
Eeeheeeeheeeehee
If Fluttershy gets aggressive whenever she rhymes, I hope she avoids Zecora.
Oh Gilda. Does she officially live in Ponyville now? I would think so.
Is that slander? I mean, slander is when you say something false, libel is when you write something false, what happens when you only fake a picture of something false?
One to embody friendship, and one to crave it! I was hoping Moondancer would appear, and when the other three prepared to fight her, Moondancer would be like "no, you guys go ahead, I'm just here to borrow a book from Twilight."
Now that he's retired, I want to see Torch play Mina's grandfather in a game of Go.
I blame the Crystal Heart. It just got restored, and a new crystal from a baby alicorn added to it, maybe the higher output of love across Equestria is making some mares (and drakainas) act a little crazy right now.
Oooh. Banishment is widely considered a cruel and unusual punishment for a reason, hopefully Twilight or someone else can find a new solution rather than just repeat Starswirl's mistake.
Alisa should be grateful she doesn't have to be a taste-tester.
7137107
I DIDN'T NOTICE!
7137107
WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?!
7137107
Again, why didn't I think of that?
7137107
A funny exchange, that I've sadly since lost, was Rarity tying up Rainbow Dash, at request of her mother and other ponies, and brainwash her into dressing in style . Then Rarity getting tied up by Sweetie at the request of their parents, to be made more rough and tumble, and Sweetie making something for Rarity for some reason, and Sweetie saying something like "Better hurry before the spoon dissolves." And Rarity quickly faking conversion to being the tomboy her father wanted.
7137265 It was fairly small in the background. But if you think about it, it makes sense. What does Button like to do on dates? Have a "drinking milkshake" race, and any filly who could beat him is one he'd be impressed with. And if Berry Pinch has inherited special talents from her older sister, she could be a really top-notch drinker...
7137300 That sounds awesome. Now I wish we'd had Magnum in the Trenderhoof episode, just to hear his daughter shout "I love mud!" Ooooh, it would have been great (for us, awful for Rarity) for Trenderhoof to meet Magnum while Rarity was trying to woo him, somehow I doubt Trenderhoof is really into hoofball.
7137318
Reminds me too much of what happened to Berry Punch here. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/158594/pony-pov-cheerilee-and-berry-punch
7137345 I suppose that is a little dark. On the other hand, the same episode also showed Berry Punch crushing grapes into wine, which suggests her special talent is manufacturing drinks, not consuming them.
7137107
In this story universe, I'd say yes. She got a job in town, and there's enough local griffons to have that griffon restaurant too. Friendship is a booming business. :)
7137741
Since she's the one teaching griffins friendship, and she had at least one friend in Griffinstone, I imagine she just visits a lot.
7149961
Maybe so.
But not my thing.
Alex, dude. You have got to see what I just found. Trixie just got burned
7151032
See it before. Poor Trixie.
7151071 Haha, yeah, I know right. Maybe you should use it for a chapter picture.
Ownerpony is lucky. Discord might have brought in the infamous kancho game. But then, Fluttershy would tear him a new one.
But then, I strongly suspect Disney of all companies made a rather dirty reference to it in Ducktales. "Uke or Puke?" A guy on the screen shouting "yamero" and vomiting? "Uke" also meaning the submissive in a gay partnership? It certainly sounds like Disney made a buttsex joke.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boong-Ga_Boong-Ga
https://scrooge-mcduck.fandom.com/wiki/Uke_or_Puke
Wasn't it Welsh?