Chapter 27: Do not tell me what to do!
"I'M COMING RYAN!" I shouted toward Ryan as he was being dragged away. I had to get to him before he reached that ledge; he wasn't even fighting to save himself! Why wasn't he fighting it? "HOLD ON! I"M ALMOST THERE!"
We were nearing the edge of a cliff when I shouted that. I jumped to grab him and I did right when he went over. I was gripping his hand as tight as I could. Whatever had him wasn't giving up though because it was pulling both of us down.
"You have to let me go, Chance" Ryan said while looking back up at me. He had a solemn expression across his face.
"I don't want to lose you again,"
"You have to let me go or you'll fall too,"
"I don't care!" I shouted at him while I pulled on him even harder. I started to slide even faster towards the edge of the cliff as whatever was pulling Ryan had put in some more effort. Ryan wasn't fighting this thing at all and because of it I was going to fall with him. "I wont abandon you again..."
******
"So that's why Chance was in the hospital?" Button asked somebody. I couldn't tell who it was until they spoke up.
"Sure is. I didn't even think a pony could control fire like that," F.C replied to Button.
I groaned a little bit before opening up my eyes to see that I was in a cave somewhere. My body felt like it was hit by a freight train again, but hey I'm alive! I turned to my side to see Button and F.C roasting marshmallows over a small fire.
"You think Chance is going to wake up soon?" Button asked as he pulled out a flaming marshmallow. He quickly dropped the stick he was using back into the fire.
"I don't know. I'm a dragon, not a doctor" F.c Replied as he pulled out a pony sized marshmallow from the fire. This one was also on fire, but F.C didn't seem to care and just ate it as is.
"Can I get one of those?" I asked from my makeshift bed. They both turned toward me with relieved expressions , well Button had a relieved expression. Fire's expression could best be explain like-
"About fucking time,"-that. Exactly like that.
"If you had chocolate I'd of gotten up sooner. We need smores for days!" I didn't even notice Button had walked up to me while I had a little fun with F.C until Button hugged me. "You keep this up, and I might just hug you back,"
"I was so worried about you," Button said as he hugged me tighter.
"Worried about me? Boy, do you even know how scared I was over you? I almost burnt down the forest!"
"I'm sorry,"
"Don't be. It's my fault you got dragged into this mess," I said with a dejected sigh. "I should be sorry,"
"Was that really Combo?" Button asked. I didn't know how to answer that question, but he was looking at me with his special eyes. HIS BRAND!
"It might seem bad, but I hope so. If it was then that was my brother too, and I might be able to help him,"
"That colt that looked like you?" Button asked questioningly.
"No. The thing on two legs," I replied which caused Button's eyes to widen. I swear his eyes took up at least three-fourths of his head!
"Really?"
"eeyup,"
"Wow thats-"
"I'd hate to interrupt you two, but I need to speak to you, Chance," Fire's expression was very serious as he said that so I slowly walked over toward him. I figured that it probably had to deal with the whole near death hing a few weeks ago so I was preparing an apology,
"I'm sorry about th-"
"That's not what I wanted to talk to you about. Do you know what book this is?" Fire asked. That wasn't something I expected out of him, but I simply shook my head. "It's a book from an old legend. I didn't believe it was that book, but when I read part of-"
"YOU READ IT! TELL ME WHAT IT SAYS!"
"As I was saying I read part of it. It's a really old dragon dialect from 20,000 years ago so I could only read a few words."
"What did it say?" I asked now very desperate to learn anything about the book.
"I read something about a portal and the stars. That's it." Well shit. "You should destroy this book,"
"WHAT! WHY?"
"The book is said to contain the spirit of an ancient evil. It uses the souls of it's victims for terrible rituals." Fire said very solemnly.
"That's why I'm keeping this book. I have to save my brother!"
"If he's it's slave there is no saving him,"
"BULLSHIT! I'll find a way. I have to find a way," If Fire was going to try and stop me then he can fuck off. I'm going to save my brother, I'm going to find a way home, and we're going to have a happy life without dealing with anymore of this supernatural bullshit!
"Chance, you have to listen-"
"NO! You listen to me! I will not and I repeat WILL NOT abandon my brother!" Fire didn't say anything else, and I assumed he gave up trying to convince me to not help my brother. That's good because I didn't need him trying to stop me.
I know that keeping this book will result in very bad repercussions later on, but I can't just leave him like that.
'you have to let me go or you'll fall too' I heard Ryan's voice echo in my head. This book might destroy me, but I will not abandon him again. I can't go through losing him again!
"I can't lose him again Fire," I said quietly. He scooped me up before looking me in the eyes, and hugging me too.
"I know," I would of told him to let me go, but I was getting light headed and could barely breath. He eventually got the idea when I started going limp in his grip "Whoops! I forget how fragile you ponies are,"
"it's *wheeze* alright *Cough*" He set me back down beside Button who was currently chilling next to the fire.
"What did you talk about?" Button asked while roasting another marshmallow
"Nothing. Button, I want you to not tell anyone about today,"
"What! why not?"
"They think I'm crazy because of this. You start talking about it and they'll think the same way about you," I said as if it were fact. I mean they would call him crazy because I wouldn't back him up. I know that seems bad, but I'm on thin ice so I can't say anything that seems crazy no matter how truthful I am.
"Maybe Gibson-"
"Don't tell anyone,"
"But-"
"I'm just trying to protect you, Button," He sighed but I think he got the message. He just learned that his brother was also a slave to that thing so I don't blame him for wanting to get help, but he hasn't been through this. "I'll get Combo back. I promise."
Button sniffled a little bit before hugging me again. For once I decided to return the hug. We've both been through a lot today, but I think Button needed a shoulder to cry on more than I did. I'm going to be here for Button. I will be the brother I should of been for Ryan.
6438014 I don't know why I'm laughing so hard at that!
Wow I wish I could pump out chapters as fast as you do. Sigh. Yes my chapters are a little longer than yours but still I wish I could finish them faster. Keep up the good work One of the Crowd.
6438021 That's part of the reason why I write shorter chapters. It lets me get them out faster and let's people who have a lot to do have a quick read.
6438029 Yeah that's what my brother does, I prefer writing to a certain point where I feel the chapter should end regardless of how far that is (most of the time) I guess that's just my preference.
the plot thickens
also, yay Fire Catcher is back
man I use the world "Also" a bunch
6438056 Have you not read what I've been writing? I do the same thing with 'I mean'
One of the Crowd you are amazing in your writing skills. I find that your story as evolved so much in so little time that I can hardly recognize it from the first’s chapters.
I think it is a great idea that the story shift itself to another direction, as seeing Chance keep saying that «he is a human but no pony would believe him», it eventually get boring after a time. This has been done enough times already on this site, it was time to move on at a certain point. The quest to save their brother is a great way to change it and Chance doesn’t need accept his pony life, just bear with it for now. It is also a great way to develop Button more in this story as so far he had not much chance to develop his character up until now.
Chance will eventually be in a situation that will force him to explain to Button why they can’t talk about it to anypony else because I doubt he know or understand that Chance is under threat of a mind wipe if Insight and the rest of his caretakers think that he is dragging Button into his delusions of humans, or that he is getting him into trouble. I have no doubt that Button will ignore Chance’s demand for silence on the matter and try to tell the other adults of the situation of combo. I suppose that they will dismiss it as being just some resurgence of grief over the loss of his brother, seeing that all of the other foals saw a dispute between him and Chance over this. Chance will of course stay quiet about it; I’m sure he will feel rotten about it, but he can’t take any chances anymore.
It would also be good to see a pony that had underwent the mind wipe procedure as a point of comparison, to show how different they are now. It would serve to drive the point home that it is the fate of Chance if he doesn’t watch out for it, and to see why it is an accepted treatment in the Equestrian psychiatry practices, for extreme cases.
It was good to see Fire Starter Again, and taking care of them at that, and to see that he doesn’t hold a grudge against Chance. I am happy that Fire Starter did not mints his worlds about Chance’s Chance of freeing his brother and that of Button; it shows the near hopelessness of Chance’s cause but also how resolved he is to try and freeing them. It is also good way to show that Button and him share kinship that will get stronger over time as well as showing that he is willing to bear the cross for both of them. I would add that is usually easier to defend the cause of another then just yourself.
As for possible help, I think Diamond Tiara could be of help, seeing that she seem to have been very close to Combo in the pass, but she is in generally very skeptical pony and would need a lot of convincing to get her on their side. I doubt Silver Spoon will be of much help seeing that she seem to see Chance as a threat to her, unless Diamond put her hoof down on the matter. The Cutie Mark Crusaders would probably be easy to convince seeing that they already know about Chance’s clammes, but might be reluctant to come aboard with Diamond Tiara whit them, but Apple Bloom friendship with Combo might overcome this earl. Dinky seem to like Chance a lot but I have a hard time imagining getting her involved in this. I suppose that it would probably be curiosity that would attract the rest of the foals.
I'm looking forward to the next chapter soon...
6438266 It is kind of unrecognizable, isn't it? I didn't even notice the differences until I went back to the star and read a few of the chapters compared to now. Also Button finally get's more character other than just being enthusiastic! I already feel the pressure of getting him a personality that fits. Hopefully I can write him well so that he comes out pretty well. As for the mind wipe I believe it is a good idea to show them a pony that has had the procedure done to them, but I have to figure out a way of doing it.
6438289 You might want it to be a pony that we already know from the show, that would probably have a greater impact to the readers. At least it's my opinion on the matter.
6438266
Gah.
i'm so jealous that you can right these big, in depth, breakdowns of these chapter like this.
every time I write anything I end up erasing what I wrote and rewording it over and over again until it's just right and i still end up not happy with what I have.
It took 10 minutes just to write this
6438289
maybe I should try and do what you did. a small story with short chapters every other day or so.
6438409 Now you see why I love his comments. As for the chapter thing, go for it. How do you think I'm able to make these so fast, and keep them interesting?
6438434
Black magic
6438439 Only a little bit!
Short. But pretty good, explained a few things that needed answers, Fire Catcher could've probably destroyed the book himself couldn't he? I'm guessing he's going to let Chance deal with this because he feels like that's the right thing to do. I love smores
As for your question at the end, I guess I consider anything really below 1,000 short, but I'm not the best at guesstimating. Have a good day.
6438466 Fire Catcher could destroy it, but He left it up to Chance because of reasons. Also who doesn't' love smores?
6438521 Obviously the fire demon doesn't love smores, therefore he must be stopped.
6438583 *pulls out ice bucket* Is this challenge still a thing?
6438591 I don't know, probably not.
6438593 How about we challenge him to a snowball fight?
6438606 Sure, Winter Wrap up's several months away so we got plenty of time.
Yeah.
6439096 I knew I should of added three more sentences!