The Cold Shoulder
Chapter 32: The Cold Shoulder (Bad pun is bad!)
******
"What's up?" My pony self asked me as I was back in that featureless room.
"What did I say last time? Because I recall saying exactly what we were doing. It's not up for debate," I said before the fucker could even start.
"Why not? It's a lot to think about so why not list all the good things from staying?"
"We never get to see our actual mom again, Ryan is damned for all eternity, we can't possibly have a normal life. I could go on, but you get the point." My old human self said as he walked into the room.
"We have a chance we never had back home. Do we really want to give up having a family that isn't broken?"
"Our family isn't broken! We just need to-"
"I WANT BOTH OF YOU OUT!" I shouted before my human self could finish. Both versions of me went silent, and the world started to shimmer again. "I don't want to see either of you again,"
******
"It's time to get up Chance,"
"I don't wanna," I grumbled in my bed before pulling the covers over my head. Loving wasn't amussed with my antics and proceeded to steal said covers from me.
"I said to get up Chance," She repeated."
"The bed has finally accepted me as a pillow. Don't take this away from me," I said rather drowsily as I waved my hoof in the air. Don't even pretend you haven't been in the same situation before!
I curled up into a tight ball to bring back some of the stolen warmth when Button hopped up onto my bed. He started jumping up and down repeatedly in an attempt to get me up. Since I ended up falling to the floor because of it I'd say that it worked.
"Why can't I sleep in anymore?" I asked out loud as I slowly rose to my hooves and looked up at Button and Loving. "It's Monday, isn't it?"
"You did go to Insight yesterday so..." Loving said before turning towards the door," I made a special breakfast!"
Oh right, that whole Insight fiasco. It's not like I could really forget yesterday since so much happened so suddenly. Hell, I even saw Cold again. What was he even doing on the train to Ponyville? My stomach started to grumble which put an end to my thoughts so I trotted over to the door with Button behind me.
"Are you alright?" Button asked me out of the blue.
"I'm fine. Why?"
"You were talking in your sleep. you talked about something being broken," I was talking in my sleep? That can't possibly be good especially if I say something that I might regret.
"Don't worry about it Button. Dreams are weird so who knows what was going on in here," I said while tapping on my head. He gave a slight frown before walking past me into the hallway. He has to deal with enough already I don't need to drag him into more of my problems.
I followed him out before I smelled one of the best things ever. PANCAKES! I quickly sprinted down the stairs as fast as I could. I even jumped clear over Gibson who was about half-way down the stairs when I was at the top. Remember that the power of pancakes makes you superhuman.
I don't think Gibson noticed because he just kept walking down the stairs like a zombie. How could he possibly not be excited when there are pancakes to be eaten! When he finally reached the bottom of the stairs was when I noticed why he wasn't excited. The guy was sleep walking.
I didn't want to mess with him if he was asleep because that just isn't right. Then again he tried to do something similar to me yesterday morning so...
"*snort* huh what? What's on my head?" Gibson asked while trying to remove me from his head. I'll have you know I make an excellent hat.
"I am. Now carry me to the table!" I said while Gibson tried and failed to get me off of his head. Messing with him while he was sleep walking probably wasn't smart but he didn't try stopping me from climbing up here.
"Get off or I'll cream you," Gibson said while once again attempting to get me off of his head.
"Fine. You really are a kill joy, you know," I said as I used his head as a diving board. That probably wan't a good idea because I face planted onto the floor. Gibson started laughing like a hyena while I peeled my face off the floor.
"Who wants...Why is Chance's face flatter than the pancakes I made?" Loving said as she poked her head out of the kitchen door. I shook my head until everything went back to it's proper place before speaking up.
"I blame the economy."
"What?"
"I don't know. I do know that I'm hungry though so food sounds good about now," I said while walking over toward the kitchen door. She just shook her head as I stepped into the kitchen. My stomach dropped the moment my eyes fell onto seas.He smiled at me and I smiled back even though I had to force it a bit.
"Good morning, Chance. Did you sleep well?" He asked. He never gave me a reason to not like him, but something about him just felt really off.
"Yeah, Can you slide me a plate?" I asked as I sat down at the other end of the table. He did as I asked before he spoke up again,
"So...you got your mark. That's nice."
"I got it a few weeks ago."
"Right, right..." Someone get a knife because the tension here needs to get cut! Seriously he was trying to make small talk when he probably realized I don't have anything to say to him. The rest of breakfast was quite even when everyone else came to the table. It couldn't be just because of me because Loving kept glancing over to seas for some reason.
A knock came from the door which thankfully gave me a reason to get out of the situation. I quickly got up and bolted out of the kitchen to answer the door which had Arrow standing behind it.
"Ready for school?" He asked. I nodded before calling out for Button to meet us at the door. When he walked out a very disgruntled Seas followed him out.
"What are you doing here?" He asked in a spiteful tone.
"Do you have to do this every time you see me? Especially in front of the kids?"
"Hey Arrow, I'm ready for school and so is Button so lets just go," I said as I walked out of the house with all of them looking at me confused. I did not want to go through this again especially since Seas is acting more and more like a bitch each time he sees Arrow.
Button and Arrow followed me soon after since I sure as hell wasn't stopping to listen to that bullshit. The walk to the school was the same as any other day's except I felt like I was being watched again. I don't know what's going on, but something definitely isn't right around here. The school house came into view and so did Cheerilee which made Arrow slow down his pace slightly.
"Good morning, Chance!" Cheerilee said while giving me a big smile. She looked up at Arrow and gave him a nod of acknowledgement before turning back to me. "Do you mind showing our new student around?"
"Wait, we have a new-"
"Hey Chance." Cold said as he walked out of the school building. For the love of god, why did he have to be here?
"You two know each other? That's great! It will be much easier for Cold to feel at home by already having a friend," Cheerilee said happily before walking into the building.
"Let's set a few things straight. I don't like you, and you hate me so lets just suck it up and get along." I said while walking into the school. Cold decided to trip me as I walked past him, I guess he doesn't want to play nice. He got close to my ear while I was still on the ground before whispering.
"You ruined me back home so I'm going to ruin you here," This guy is playing with fire, and I mean that semi literally. He walked into the building while I got back to my hooves. It wasn't bad enough that I had to pretend to be getting better, but now I have to deal with a jackass that doesn't understand karma. Why does the universe hate me?
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sounds like Chance and Gibson are getting along better ^^ hope to see more scenes like that. just wish Open Seas wasn't a prick to Arrow.
6462716 there's probably a good reason as to why Seas is a prick.
Well this is my last chance to stay ahead of you in likes typing hands away!
So Chance makes a nice hat. I smell merchandise. (Couldn't think of a better way of writing this comment)
*edit*
"Chill out."
Ask the writer
6462892 He has a reason, but it's not a good reason. Let's just say Open isn't the best pony in the world.
6463012 If only! I'd love to have a chance hat, but sadly those don't exist. Also PUNS!
6462716 There will be more scenes like this. Also Seas is just a prick in every sense of the word.
6463027 It's because you all enjoy him being put through all of this. Besides I can't let the world bow down to him.
Oooooo. Dis gon be good
6463817 I certainly hope so.
Sorry for not posting a comment last time, I had a lot to say and I ended up gating carried away and had become longer than the chapter itself; then with seeing the new chapter is out, I decide to scrap it and make a newer and shorter one.
For what concerns the last chapter, I still think you rush things too much in your scenes, especialy with the meeting with Celestia.
This is the last time that I would delve in the subject, but on the matter of Celestia’s apologies I don’t think that how it should have happened. Celestia is a multi-millennia ruler, she is old and has learned to take her time in doing things, and she know how to dictate how the conversation is going to go about, on her terms. She sees herself as her matron mother of her nation and her little pony subjects, and it shows, and all her actions are aimed to project that heir of authority and kindness. Her aim with Chance would be to relieve of the colt of any animosity that he might have against her, and resort his faith in and trust of her beloved little subject. She wouldn’t forsake her image to apologies to just one colt, but instead would go in a roundabout way to say it. She would twist things so rather than apologizing, she would say thank the little colt for staving her hooves from making an irreparable mistake of killing somepony, or in this case somedragon, over a miss understanding. She would still chime him, and put an underline warning of never striking a sovereign again; with dire consequence should he ever do this again. The End result would be that both Chance and Celestia get to save face, and Chance would get off as being a sort of hero, at least it how she would see or say it.
I am looking forward in seeing how Chance will deal with the fact that Dinky was mindwipe, and see if he will keep it a secret from everypony else.
I’m really looking forward to see Open Seas is keeping secret from the rest of his family and why does he hate Arrow so much. Why Arrow can’t fly above a certain threshold, what happened to him.
Also, when is Chances Cutienara going to happened?
For the revelation that Jungle Vine is actually Lucky’s mother, would make more sense if he was the first claimed by the Fire Creature, she would have the interest at heart to keep him alive for over two years on life support. I don’t know if she had put other minds in there before Chance. I have a hard time understanding why she did experiment on Lucky’s body like that, I could understand that she was desperate to save her sun, and she might had had a few screws lows over time, but why was she bragging to Chance that all she was doing research for science with him? Also If I see anything that Jungle Vine and Lucky have in common is that they seem to have feel little apathy for others seeing how Lucky seem to be was actually helping the Fire Creature ends. This also confirms that Lucky is a registered Foal in Equestria, and that his identity has been kept a secret to Chance, for unknown reasons. Also why Lira doesn’t did not recognize the body of her own nephew, even if it has been over two years that she did not see him? After she is captured, I don’t like the idea that she would help Chance in freeing Lucky from the Fire Creature, she can’t be trusted after what she did to him, but I think they could compare not on the matter.
Cold Breeze is a welcome antagonist to Chance in the slice of life aspect of the story, and I see great possibilities with him. He could team up with Silver spoon. Cold seem to have been shunned by all the other foals of his school, after his stunt with Chance and seem that his family felt it necessary for Cold to change school and town because of the events. It seem that Cold did not learn his lesson and think that everything is Chance’s fault, and is out to get even with his former friend, by destroying his place reputation again. I suspect that Cold will try and tell everypony that Chance is crazy because he thinks his a human, and will probably exacerbate Chance’s patience to the very limit, it will probably fail or backfire seeing that Chance has managed to become the coolest colt in school for riding a Dragon. I suspect that Cold will try to seek out Fire Starter, to make him do the same thing as Chance did; it will fail. Then, Cold try to force Chance to fight him again, then tries to uncover Chance little secrets by following after that he tries to set him up for a house fire. I the end I think Cold would be carted off to a juvenile detention center, but Chance after seeing him in such a pathetic state, intervenes in his favor, saying that everything was an accident.
I believe that Cold could be useful in to make a redemption ark for him forcing Cold to confront the fact that everything is his fault that it was but also for Chance how realizes that Cold is living the same situation that he has for the first six months, being shunned by others, and see how all the other ponies saw him as well, that he is trying to be accepted by others and that he would just need somepony to give him a help out when he has nothing left. It would also be a Chance to see if Chance is capable to set aside his grudge against Cold and if he could find it in himself to pity him and have a heart to heart with each other, I would think that Cold would sperm the first offer but . There is also the fact that both Chance and Cold has a stubborn, prideful streak to both of them and it would be a shame if he could not help Chance out in his endeavors.
I think this could be a great chance foe Chance to test out his resolve not to uses his magic on Cold, by not giving in to his taunting, he will lose it for sure, but at what point; I would imagine that he got very close to being mindwipe because of that pegasus. I would imagine that it would truly show to the readers how far Chance will go not to give in to rage and that his affirmation of not using his magic against anypony, showing that they are not just words. Also when Cold is going to at his lowest I don’t think Cold realizes how dangers Chance’s magic, and a blunt explanation would be in order to make him realize what he was doing was stupid. I believe that that event would be a growing experience for Chance.
The stakes are getting higher,
Also, this was a great Chapter One of the Crowd, I think that this story is getting better and better as it goes, and I’m looking forward to see how it is going to all turn out.
P.S. I should really star writing my own stuff and keep my comment shorter.
6463913 I love your long comments. It's like reading a story about a story for me.
Tme to try to break down what you said and horribly fail at it. I know about the Celestia thing I just find it really hard to write her correctly since I'm trying to prevent her from becoming a main character in the story. She's only there because of certain events that are happening, and it's getting a little more difficult trying to write her,
Open Seas has secrets that are going to be shown later on in the story so just wait.
Also since everything is winding down to go back to a slice of life story I figured we needed an antagonist. Cold was going to show up again eventually so I figured he'd make an excellent antagonist here, and as you guessed this is going to start a rather interesting story arc.
I feel bad that I can't go as in-depth as you can about what's going on, but I hope that you can forgive me for that. Stay awesome my friend.
Sorry, it took me so long to get to this.
I've been kinda busy so I only have a few quick points
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this. so much this
new antagonist. I can't wait to see how Cold plays out
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OOHHHH
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YEAH! more shenanigans
6464980
Cutienara=later, but soon. Also more shenanigans shall ensue soon. I'll work on the next chapter later, but right now I have to get back the Famous!
6465137
I've heard this so many times now. I'm sorry for being rude about it, but this has got to be the 15th time. Thanks for reading by the way.
6463913
Your comment is too long. Ima just thumbs up and say it's good.
Without even reading it...
EDIT: Meh, decided to read it. Some good points you brought up about Cold. Also, WHY MUST DINKIE BE MIND WIPED!!!!!!!!!!
Anyways. Great chapter, Cold sounds like a kid from my school. Guy got beat up pretty bad because everyone had enough of him though. He got sent to the hospital, and was suspended, along with 3 other students who had attacked him.
My school is pretty crazy
6465933 Yes you are right, my comments are definitely way too long, and I spend a lot of time writhing, but One of the Crowd and Radio say they appreciate it a lot and we have had great debates on each chapter on the matter and they have help to make the story in all better all in all. I hope you can bear reading them if you can.
6465933 All schools are pretty crazy! You should spend a day at mine and just see how long it takes before you inadvertently piss someone off. It's meh though since people tend to get what they deserve. Finally I love Mix-ups comments being so long. He goes really in-depth on the chapter and often reminds me of things that I forgot to add in.
6466413 I can!
He is fire and cold is, well... Cold
What happens to ice when it nears fire?
It melts.
So let's see where this leads shall we?
Nice use of cartoon physics.
Next time he might have strs twirling around his head!
6471651
It is obvious Chance is like a bonfire, tell me - what happens when you throw an ice cube near a bonfire?