Spike's little secret

Spike goes for a walk at mignight and Derpy, who cannot sleep, wants to know why. Derpy follows him and finds out the little dragon wrote a novel.

This is my first attempt at writing fiction in english (also with ponies). I am sorry for my bad english, it is actually not my mother language but I did my best.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 12 )

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Riz

Riz #1 · May 26th, 2012 · · · Chapter 1: Spike's a little secret ·

You say this fic is an Alternate Universe. What's the diff. from the cannon universe ?

Ponaygurl

Ponaygurl #2 · May 26th, 2012 · · · Chapter 1: Spike's a little secret ·

I'm sorry, but I have to say you should take punctuation lessons. English does not have the upside down question mark at the start of sentences, you use " for speech and not -, and don't put a comma before or after the dashes in a dash-embedded clause.

WingedColt

WingedColt #3 · May 26th, 2012 · · · Chapter 1: Spike's a little secret ·

648258

I say it is an alternative universe because the 'novel' written by Spike is not the canon universe. I am sorry if it confused you.

WingedColt

WingedColt #4 · May 26th, 2012 · · · Chapter 1: Spike's a little secret ·

648342

thanks, I'm going to fix that. Thank you for your comment, it helped me. I'm gonna edit it right now.

Ponaygurl

Ponaygurl #5 · May 26th, 2012 · · · Chapter 1: Spike's a little secret ·

Oh and by the way, you forgot to put their names on a lot of the text. I knew who was speaking, but it is still confusing.

WingedColt

WingedColt #6 · May 27th, 2012 · · · Chapter 1: Spike's a little secret ·

648456

Oh thanks a bunch. I've changed it, is it better now?

Ponaygurl

Ponaygurl #7 · May 27th, 2012 · · · Chapter 1: Spike's a little secret ·

653243 That's much better. Thanks for taking my criticism into account.

Shall there be a ship?

WingedColt

WingedColt #8 · May 27th, 2012 · · · Chapter 1: Spike's a little secret ·

653480

Thanks to you for helping me ^3^

I don't know, at least for now there is no ship in my head hehe but I cannot say it will never happen, everything's possible

Riz

Riz #9 · May 28th, 2012 · · · Chapter 1: Spike's a little secret ·

648406

You say it's a romance who will it be ??

LandUnderWave

LandUnderWave #10 · May 28th, 2012 · · · Chapter 1: Spike's a little secret ·

You're writing it in novel form but have script format dialogue? That's kinda odd and distracting, but you write it how you want, I guess.
It's still missing some quotation marks though.

If the pairing wasn't going to be for Derpy and Spike (which I totally want to see now, if only because it's so odd) then who was the romance tag intended for?

WingedColt