Chapter 1
Underneath Pixel Wavelength’s name, the program read “Principal Software Engineer of Equestria: Get your tips on everything net-related from our most tech-savvy princess!” I flipped through it. That was it. The program said nothing about Pixel addressing the heavy crowds via webcam. And yet, there she was, her face perfectly defined, but a bit two-dimensional. She was in a conference room, but the wall behind her may very well have been nothing but post-it notes.
I jumped up to check the stage, make sure she wasn’t just using a set. There was nopony on stage except for a few royal guards. Why were they there? There was nopony on stage to protect. Why not just pack up the mics and take them backstage? I shook my mane out. I had gotten front row seats specifically to see Pixel, maybe make a connection. We could become business partners, software partners- romantic partners. But Pixel wasn’t here. So there was no reason for my mane to stay in the perfect tight curls and ringlets.
I was just about to get up and leave- I could see the video of the speech anywhere, and there were other events going on- when Pixel’s soprano rang out across the room.
“I have some advice for all you mares who aren’t sure the internet will fit with your life, or philosophy, or security.” Her voice overrode all my nerves and pushed me back into my seat. It was so beautiful. She was so beautiful. I couldn’t leave a room that was filled with that voice.
“Never read the comments. Don’t comment. Don’t read. Don’t use your actual voice on a comm unless you know your team. Check using secret phrases that your team is your team. Play on an all mare team. Don’t use comms. Don’t send nudes. Don’t take nudes. Don’t be nude. Don’t be a mare with opinions on the internet. Don’t be a mare on the internet. Don’t be a mare.
“This is the advice that I got. I was told to ignore problems, to give up tech that stallions could use without trouble, to blame myself for the crimes others commit against me. You, with the notebook and the glasses,” I looked around, and noticed for the first time that cameras resided in every corner of the room. “Don’t be shy, come up to the mic.” The pony she was talking to inched towards the mic, until Pixel smiled warmly, at which point she began to trot. Pixel’s smile nearly knocked me out. I was so jealous of that unicorn. “Read me what you have written there.”
The mare with the green glasses recited, with a slight stammer, everything Pixel had said. Pixel waited until she was done to terrify her again.
“Rip that page out.” The mare’s eyes bugged from underneath her frames. I smirked a bit. “Go ahead, dear, there’s nothing to worry about.” The unicorn carefully pulled the page out of her book. “Now roll it into a ball and throw it behind you.”The pony looked up and down and up again. She looked ridiculous, standing up there in front of all of those ponies. “I promise it’ll be okay.” The mare, fear of god in her eyes, crumpled the paper, and threw it right to my feet. The princess nodded happily, and I felt a tug at the back of my neck.
“If anybody ever tries to feed you one of those lines again, don’t be afraid to crumple it up and throw it behind you. Thank you, dear, you can sit down again now.” The unicorn bolted back to her seat. I giggled a bit, and picked up the paper at my feet. “Don’t you dare little mare.” I froze. The princess was glaring out of the screen. “Everypony is entitled to their privacy, and the violation of privacy is exactly what I wanted to talk to you about today.
“I’m willing to bet that most of you know that I got my wings by being, as I have been called, a ‘software vigilante.’ What you don’t know is why I became her. When computers were first brought to Equestria, several decades ago, programming was mare’s work. Computers were a way to analyze data and process information quickly and easily. But when Tim Berneighs-Lee invented the internet, things began to change. Computers could be used to share information across Equestria widely and quickly. When Marc Serhoof founded EOL, everypony gained more power than they had ever had before.
“I’m not going to sit here and tell you that there weren’t plenty of ways to harass people who upset you before the internet. But the internet made sabotage easier, and damage greater. When EOL was first born, I was so excited to use this new tool. And it was incredible. There were new ways to play games, talk to friends, and find information. But for some people this wasn’t a tool. It was a weapon. And it wasn’t long before they used it against me.
“Before I was a princess, I was a blogger. I wrote about everything from my friends, to my job. I would frequently throw in technical and relationship advice. When my first nasty comment came, I was shocked and devastated. I spent a week in bed before I got back to work. When I did eventually get back online, I found my blog overrun with hatred and anarchy. It was then that I built a program to identify my name wherever it was used online, and return the results to me immediately. There were threats on my blog that necessitated this action.
“The program returned dozens of results every night, some of them from sources with positive opinions of me, most of them written by people who thought poorly of me. The sources that spewed hate speech about me did not limit themselves to the one victim. I found them attacking one of my idols, Princess Luna, for her past actions, and was infuriated. How dare they spread lies about our princess of friendship! That was when I became the princess’s virtual bodyguard. I secured her documents, monitored mentions of her, and kept tabs on anybody who made an especially awful comment.
“It wasn’t long before I was working to protect the public. I would monitor the web, and I saw people who were harassed in ways I never had been. Ponies’ private addresses and telephone numbers were published online. This is now called doxxing. Nude pictures of ponies were posted without their consent. This is called revenge porn. I kept things this dangerous off the internet, and, in extreme cases, wiped the hard drives of ponies who refused to relent.
“I protected everypony except myself. I watched the hate against me continue to flow, and grow stronger, but I doubted my own fears, thinking that I was just overreacting. There would be no real danger to me. But during the night, I was afraid. I dismissed these fears. I was sure they weren’t valid.
“And that leads me to the second thing I wanted to share with you. Your feelings are always valid. Nobody can tell you that you’re not feeling them, and being dismissive of your own feelings will lead to insecurity, pain, and misunderstanding. It took a lot for me to learn this lesson. You see, while I was working as the guardian of the defenseless, I was also dating a stallion. I was madly in love with him, but he wanted me to stop working. When he asked me to marry him, I said no. Soon after, I broke up with him.
“About a week after we broke up, my self-monitoring program returned an interesting result. He had doxxed me, and my address had been viewed by thousands of my harassers. I wasn’t devastated or hurt anymore. My first instincts had been correct. I was right to be afraid, and I was right to doubt my ex. For the first time, I protected myself. I learned to acknowledge my own emotions, and become my own mare. And, after all I did that day, I had earned my wings.”
“The two messages I want to leave with you today are to respect others’ privacy, and your own emotions. Thank you for having me today. I wish you all happiness and success in your every endeavour. Enjoy the rest of the conference.”
As I walked out of the auditorium, I thought about the princess’s story, and wondered if I was the kind of mare who could hurt her special somepony like that. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I was. I didn’t want Pixel to be happy; I wanted her to be mine. As I walked out, I saw the mare with the green glasses. She was talking to one of the royal guard, and he was blocking her way out.
“Um, excuse me, sir, I, um, could I please-”
“Nothing to worry about, ma’am, the princess just wanted to speak to you.” Her eyes bugged again. She looked so scared. And I found myself feeling what Pixel feels for everypony.
“Sir,” the guard turned to look at me, and the pony with the green glasses stared, mouth agape. She was a small thing, with a short mane and a pair of gears for a cutie mark. “I’m terribly sorry, but my friend and I are helping with the next panel. We need to leave immediately.”
The guard looked at me, studying every line of my face, then gave a grudging nod. The mare with the green glasses exhaled sharply, and almost galloped out of the auditorium. I followed her at a brisk pace, but was stopped at the door by a tug at the back of my neck. I looked at the screen, but the princess’s face was frozen in a warm smile. I smiled back and trotted out the door, after the lovely mare with the green glasses.
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http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/synopsis
I adored the story, but the lack of a synopsis was a letdown. This also didn't scream 'romance' as it did 'slice of life.'
Very nice, you have piqued my curiosity. I shall be following this avidly, very well written.
Synopsis? Well, for now the lack of synopsis will be noticed and will put people off, but if you want to stay in the shadows so to speak, seeing as this is your first story, and then add a synopsis later, once you are ready to widen your audience, that could also work.
I do have a small criticism. If you are going to write a first person secondary character, you will discover it is extraordinarily more difficult than third person, or first person primary character. How will your secondary character continue to follow the mare with green glasses around? Will you be forced to switch character perspectives? I think I see the angle you wish to take this, and it is an interesting story arc. In my minds eye, the plot is going to be that the secondary character falls in love with the main, which would be interesting to do.
First person secondary character will also add an out-of-touch feel to your story, which may be what you are going for. However, if it isn't, you can still have vibrant and real secondary characters without having to write from their perspective to get that across to the audience.
Kudos for the excellent story start, very well written and nice story concept. Expect many likes from me!
Not a bad idea at all for a story and well done making the first step towards contributing to this site.
Now, I must comment on a couple things. This is a "fanfiction" style of story. It's a particular genre in which a universe is often distorted or changed to create a new story. Fallout Equestria is a well known fanfiction style story that changes the MLP universe. This one takes radical departures from the MLP universe too but there's no exposition as to why it is the case which makes me wonder about the world that Pixel Wavelength inhabits. In this fanfiction, mares seem to live in fear. That's an incredible difference from the usual but it's not explained. And the idea of sharing nude photos when the default for ponies is to be nude is jarring. Unless this fanfiction is a world where ponies normally wear clothes and nudity is forbidden or discouraged. Again, not explained.
So, I would suppose that some expansion would be useful.
I loved the story. A good panel on cyber bullying gone wrong, but I am confused about the ending.
The way you put it, the guard was scaring Pixel, but the guard just wanted Pixel to see the princess... why is that bad?
6301939 A couple things. The pony with the green glasses isn't Pixel, the princess is. The pony with the green glasses remains nameless for now. It's not necessarily a bad thing that the guard is speaking to her, but, as a shy pony, the mare panics and doesn't know what to do. The problem isn't that he wants her to meet Pixel, the problem is that he's being aggressive and not giving her a choice in the matter. Imo, consent and communication are everything and our narrator steps in when she sees both being disregarded.
6303928 I know that the green glasses is not pixel, and about the guard. Maybe that's just how he talks? It is important for him to make himself known, intimidation is just a by product of being a guard, and wouldn't meeting the princess be something good for Pixel?
Also if she had to meet with the princess, then why would Green Glasses get in the way of that? It's a good thing.
That's why I am confused. It's a good thing that Pixel gets to meet with the princess... nothing sad or scary about it. The guard is just doing his job, not trying to be aggressive in the slightest.
6303942 Just to clarify, Pixel is the princess. They're one and the same. I'm not trying to say that what the guard is doing is bad, just that it's a scary situation for this particular pony, due to her own shyness and nervousness.
6268647 Thank you very kindly!! I had intended for this to be a single chapter story, but I might consider expanding in the future if I decide there's more that needs to be told about these characters.
6304012 All I have to say is, if Pixel's that shy then how did she speak in front of a crowd with such enthusiasm? I mean it was like a ted talk. And if she's a princess then shouldn't she have guards? Wouldn't she know that they weren't going to harm her? Wouldn't she know their role in the life of a princess, and if she was so in control on stage in front of maybe twenty other ponies, wouldn't she be able to politely nod and follow him?
6304016 The 'Chapter 1' title confused me into thinking there would be more
In any case, kudos!
6304751 Yeah, I couldn't figure out how to get rid of it.
On behalf of Poniverse, first of all I want to thank you for taking the time to write and enter this fic into our contest. All of our staff very much appreciate it. Second of all, I will say that I think this idea of Pixel being an almost Steve Jobs-like character is very clever, and the conference itself was very interesting to read about. Where this fic lost me was the main character, namely because we knew too little about him/her (I honestly don't know which it was, though I think the main character was a stallion). The fic was so short that I didn't quite understand what the main character's motivations or goals were. It was quite polished and the pacing was good, but again, I don't know why the main character was doing anything. If you were too continue writing this story, that might solve some of these problems; as it stands, what you have is a very well-written story, but one that can't help but feel incomplete. For your first fic, it's a very good start, but I encourage you to keep writing and developing your skills since you show some very good promise. If you have any questions for me, let me know, and I'd be happy to help!
Full disclosure, here—I'm not a judge, just a fellow entrant who decided to review all the stories submitted to this contest.
This story actually . . . kind of scares me. I'm actually not sure if this is a mistake of yours or if you've stumbled across something kind of brilliant. Let me elaborate in the form a review. I'll apologize in advance if I come across as scathing.
First off, your grammar for this story is near-impeccable, and that's something I really can't say for many writers. Whether it's you or your editors, you deserve praise for writing such a technically competent piece!
I also like the protagonist, but was somewhat confused by her. This is one of those rare stories where the protagonist is not written as entirely virtuous. Actually, in this story, she's kind of despicable. This is actually quite refreshing, as I can probably count on one hand the number of stories I've read with despicable protagonists!
The end confuses me, though. I actually can't tell if our protagonist has been turned around by Pixel's speech or if she's still the same and just chose to chase after someone else, but I'm leaning on the former. It might have helped if you had injected our protagonists inner thoughts while Pixel was giving her lecture. That would give a better idea of whether she still spurned Pixel's ideals or was being turned around by them.
Finally, here's the clincher issue: you may or may not have been planning this, but this story appears to be the genesis of a dark dystopia. Pixel's ideals, while admirable and respectable, are the same as those governmental agencies that seek to censor those that don't adhere to praising its agents. Take a look at this line by Pixel:
That's a great idea, but it really scared me, and it was when I believed that Pixel's ideas were misguided. The line between protection of privacy and censoring is a fine one, but here, I think Pixel crossed it.
Whether you planned this or not, the fact that you write the story so virtuously and even have Pixel gain her princesshood from adhering to these "ideals" only makes it darker. A universe where censoring is rewarded and a princess converts common ponies to fall under her regime: yikes!
Maybe now you can tell why I'm scared. But that doesn't mean the story isn't good. Of course, if you did intend to write a dystopia, I'm not sure if Poniverse would approve of this characterization of Pixel. If you didn't, you might want to change a few things. Regardless, great job, and good luck in the contest!
6271666
Thank you very much for the compliments and the advice. You brought up a couple points that I had overlooked, so thanks for that as well!
6328442
Thank you for bringing up this point, it's very much something I actually wanted to elaborate on. This is such a sensitive and emotional topic that I'm discussing, and it required great care on my part as there are simply so many people, particularly in this fandom that have been affected so strongly in this kind of situation. My intent here was to show how a victim would react seeing this happen to other people, and how the people she aims to help react to the sudden relief she gives them. Yes, censorship is dangerous, but, imo, it's the lesser of two evils. Just because a crime is virtual doesn't make it any less harmful and dangerous, and therefore real, if that makes any sense. The slippery slope argument also doesn't hold much ground with me, based mostly on its past uses. There's no reason that monitoring and censoring hate speech should lead to the destruction of all political or social protests. Of course, this is just one person's opinion, and should not be taken as anything more than that.
6345729
Naturally, it seems that you and I differ in that respect. I respect the fact that virtual speech is just as real as its real-life counterpart, but by that same token, it has a right to be expressed if its simply a dissenting opinion. Whether or not something would be censored depends on whether its classified as a dissenting opinion or slander. But that's an argument for politicians, not small-time story writers.