Carter sighed as she sat in her quarters and pored over her work. Just a few hours prior the IOA had sent word back on their decision on the proposals. Almost every one had been approved. Every one that is except Maretonia. Needless to say, they didn't take the news well.
The pair had stormed out of the proceedings, all the while denouncing the expedition and any other nation willing to deal with them. Carter pinched her brow, opening the drawer on her desk and fished out a pill bottle. She popped two of them in her mouth.
"Why are the IOA always such a headache?" she muttered, swallowing the pills. Of course, things weren't all that bad. With negotiations finalized, she could finally get the city moved out of the arctic. The representatives of the countries were preparing to leave. Carter had to admit, she was interested who they would all propose to work with the SGC. Though that would mean more paperwork for her.
Then of course, there was Floyd, whose attitude had continuously degraded since the magic incident. Not that she could blame him, she had gone through similar things when she was put under constant observation. She could only hope he would return to normal once he was free to resume his duties. Jack had given his own unsolicited opinion in the matter: that it would be a waste to simply relegate him to camera man again. He did have a point, but she'd talk it over with Floyd before changing over his assigned position. If his attitude continued as it was, then she wouldn't want him to have any further responsibilities.
There was one thing she had to keep in mind about his situation: given the use of magic seemed to be widespread among the Shangrians, there was a chance the city's more important functions required both magic and the control gene. Which meant that he could possibly be the only one who could use the control chair. And that would mean she'd have to give him a new responsibility regardless of his attitude or thoughts on the matter. Unless they could find another amulet, the chair might be Floyd's and Floyd's alone.
Floyd let out a groan of frustration as he put away his laptop. All his work had been finished and he had watched all his movies to the point of being able to recite every single line from them.
"How long does it take to give a guy a clean bill of health around here?!" he grunted and sat up, glaring at the doorway. He slid off the bed, pulling his shoes on. "You know what, screw it, not like they can fire me now."
Disregarding anyone else in the room, Floyd shoved his hands into his pockets, strolling out of the infirmary. He felt his stomach rumble and turned around to grab a bite to eat. He stretched out, feeling a sense of satisfaction in being able to stretch his limbs for the first time in over a week of confinement. Snatching some food off of a dozing Higgs' tray, he made his way into the halls. He bit into his sandwich and sighed happily.
"Yup, food tastes better with freedom." He quickly polished off the sandwich and turned around a corner, quickly realizing he had been absentmindedly walking. "This place really needs a map..." He scratched the side of his head and weighed his options. On one hand he could go back the way he came and attempt to retrace his steps. Or he could press forward and figure it out as he went. He decided to go with the latter and continued forward with a shrug.
Minutes passed in relative silence, the only sound being his shoes on the floor. Other people had stopped being a thing at some point in his wanderings. Now it was just him, alone, with his thoughts. He stopped and looked around for a few moments, frowning when the hallway he was in was completely identical to the several others he had wandered through.
"So much for finding a landmark or something," he muttered. A window caught his eye and he found himself looking out of it. The city itself reminded him of something in a sci-fi movie, a notion that bemused him to no end. He stood by the window, watching the raging blizzard pound on the shield. It shimmered slightly, rippling with every snowflake that assailed it. "Kinda pretty in a weird kinda way," he commented. He continued watching, losing track of time.
With the serene landscape in his gaze, he took the time to order his thoughts. He sighed as his frustration melted away. He shook his head and continued to watch the blizzard. "Disregarding the doctor's orders might not have been the brightest move." He chuckled and stayed by the window. "Oh well, I'll deal with the consequences later."
That way of thinking had become more or less his default. Most of his put-on politeness and respect had gone out the window. It wasn't like they could do much to him. They couldn't send him back or fire him. Even if they did fire him, he'd still be stuck here, living out some sci-fi fantasy. Only this one had half its script replaced with that of a girls' cartoon. He chuckled at the thought of a girls' cartoon mixing with some sci-fi fantasy show. This then turned into an image of that pink pony he had met in Canterlot sitting in the captain's chair of the Starship Enterprise. This caused him to start laughing uproariously.
Letting the fit run his course, he pulled himself away from the window. Deciding it was best to try and retrace his steps, Floyd went back the way he came. After what felt like an hour of walking he slipped back into the medical bay, taking his shoes off and jumping back into bed.
"Mister Hendrix," came Dr. Juan's voice, carrying an annoyed edge.
"Oh, hey Doc," Floyd greeted, slipping under the covers. "Didn't see you there."
The doctor gave him an irritated look. "Mr. Hendrix, I understand that you're under some stress, but please, don't take your angst out on me."
"I wasn't taking my angst out on you," Floyd countered. "I just needed to stretch my legs before I went crazy."
The doctor shook his head. "Still, I haven't released you yet for a reason. Please refrain from leaving until we can better understand your changes."
"Doc, I've been stuck in this room for over a week," Floyd replied, giving him a flat look. "You've looked at me with every machine you've got over a dozen times. If you haven't found anything wrong with me in this amount of time, what are the chances more poking and prodding will reveal anything?"
Dr. Juan strode over to the bed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Mister Hendrix, please. You've undergone something we have almost no basis for. If you'd like, I can arrange for you to meet with the city's counselor, but please don't leave the infirmary without permission."
"Oh joy, recommending me a shrink." Floyd huffed and rolled his eyes. "But one thing comes to mind, Doc. The Shangrians built the amulets and the medical devices here, right?"
"Yes, they did."
"So it's a pretty safe assumption that if there was anything wrong with the changes I've gone through, the scanners would've alerted you, right?"
"It's not that simple," the irritation was clear in the doctor's voice. "Whether or not something went wrong is not the point. We need a better understanding of what the amulet did to your body."
"Was there some sort of clause in my contract where I agreed to become a freaking labrat if something strange happened to me?" Floyd grumbled.
Dr. Juan ignored his comment. "Please, stay here until we release you." With that, the doctor left him to his devices, vanishing into his office.
"Easy for you to say, Doc," Floyd grumbled, glaring at the office door before laying his head down.
"Is this a bad time?" General O'Neill's voice called over from the door.
"Nah." Floyd sat up and waved the older man over. "Having someone to talk to besides the doc sounds pretty good right about now."
General O'Neill dropped down onto the bed next to Floyd, a sigh escaping from the man's lips. "So, how's the magic treating you?"
"Well, I almost had literal blue balls due to a teleporting mishap," Floyd explained, shivering as he remembered his time sitting out in the cold. "And aside from the upgrade in muscles, being the doc's labrat has sucked the big one. I'm gonna go crazy in this room." He groaned and tugged on his hair.
The general whistled, nodding his head. "Never liked the lab rat part of this job. Those doctors are always out to make you die of boredom."
"And the endless tests," Floyd grumbled in agreement. "How many times do they think the exact same scans are gonna do anything but tell them what they knew from the first ones?"
"Doc's got a job to do. I can't tell you how many times Fraiser saved our asses." A sad smile graced his face. "Anyway, I wanted to come down and say thanks for taking away most of my grey hair." He glanced at Floyd's hand. "Think you can do it for Carter?"
Floyd looked down and clenched his hand into a fist. "I don't think so. Not yet anyway. I wasn't in control when I hit you with that. There's no telling what would happen if I tried reducing her age. I could turn her inside out or something." He shuddered at the thought.
O'Neill grunted, a disappointed look crossing his face. "Anyway, I've heard you've been giving everyone a hard time."
Floyd's look hardened a bit, his eyes not meeting O'Neill's. "There's a reason I went into film and not the military. Following orders to the letter isn't something that appeals to me."
O'Neill tapped his knee, gathering his thoughts. "Kid, I'm gonna be honest with ya, I'd kill to have magic. I can't tell you how many times that would have come in handy." He placed his free hand on Floyd's shoulder. "I can't tell you what to do, but, I'll tell ya, if it were me, I wouldn't be throwing myself a pity party."
Floyd frowned, nodding a little bit. He let out a long sigh. "Guess I should be more grateful for the whole superpower thing. Though, actually being able to control them would be nice."
O'Neill hopped of the bed, turning to face Floyd. "Do you have any idea how cool it is to have superpowers?" Floyd blinked, not expecting the general to suddenly sound like a little kid in a comic book store. "I can't say I blame ya for feeling like that, kid. I wouldn't be able to just go back to a normal job with that." He gestured to Floyd's amulet. "In fact, I think you'd be pretty wacked to give all this stuff up."
"Meeting aliens is pretty cool," Floyd agreed. "I mean, I've talked to griffins, dragons and princesses during this trip. Biggest downside is that I'm not allowed to brag to my friends and family about what I've seen." He paused for a moment. "Well, I could, but then some spook would come and break my neck."
"Yeah, those spooks can be a problem." O'Neill shifted on his feet, putting his hands in his pockets. "Anyway, I've talked to Carter about it. If you can clean up your act, she'll give you a promotion."
Floyd quirked an eyebrow. "What kind of promotion are we talking about?"
O'Neill shrugged his shoulders noncommittally. "I dunno. Place on one of the teams maybe? That is, if you think you can follow orders."
"That depends, does this promotion come with health benefits?" Floyd asked with a cheeky grin. O'Neill shared his grin, slapping the younger man's shoulder. "I'll think about it, General. But I guess I can stop giving the doc a hard time. It's not like being a dick to him was entertaining anyway."
"Good, good." O'Neill pulled away, clearing his throat. "I'll catch ya later, kid, I gotta go pack. The boys back home wouldn't know what to do without me."
"Good seeing you, General." Floyd then snickered, "And be sure to take a picture of their reactions when they see you without the grey hairs. Pretty sure I'd get a kick out of that." O'Neill gave a half salute, turning on his heel and striding out of the room. Floyd chuckled and returned the gesture as he laid back down.
Sunburst gulped as he was led off a small ship. He had no idea whether to curl up in a ball or to rush around the room to examine everything. He had been in a near catatonic state when Princess Celestia herself had requested his services to tutor somepony in magic, though he had accepted without hesitation when she said the job would take him to the city of the Teachers. He tried taking a calming breath as a soldier led him out of the large ship storage area.
"Are you Sunburst?" a feminine voice spoke up. He looked up from his hooves, casting his gaze on what seemed to be a female human. "I'm General Carter," she shot him a disarming smile. "Princess Celestia tells me you're going to be our new tutor."
Sunburst gave her a shaky smile, "Th-that's correct. My skills in magic aren't the best, but I have a very good grasp on magic theory. Everything from the charms of Clover the Clever or the more radical hypotheses of Starswirl the Bearded." He chuckled nervously and adjusted his glasses.
Carter gestured for him to follow her. "That's more than any of us know. Magic has always been fairy tales for us."
"Princess Celestia explained that to me," he replied, keeping pace behind her. He let his eyes wander, idly wondering about all the advanced technology he was seeing. "It's all so... mind boggling. To think, two lost cities were hidden in the ice."
Carter chuckled. "We all had a similar reaction the first time we used the gate. We found one under the sands of a former empire, and another buried our own arctic."
They walked through the busy halls, with many a human stopping and gawking. Having to look up at so many taller creatures made Sunburst feel like a foal again. Now he knew how travelling bands of actors felt when in countries with high minotaur populations. The large ship storage area gave way to smaller hallways. After several hallways – Sunburst lost track after three – Carter stopped at a door.
"The city doesn't have elevators," Carter explained, opening the door. The room was rather small, only able to fit around 2-3 ponies. A screen was embedded in the back wall, displaying an outline of the city. "But, we have something better, teleporter booths."
"Fascinating," Sunburst said, stepping into the room and adjusting his glasses again. "How do they work?"
Carter tapped a building on the screen, causing the doors to close. A brief flash filled the room, and the door opened once more. Sunburst stepped out of the room and gaped when he saw different humans walking through the halls.
He looked up at Carter with a look of disbelief. "I didn't even feel us move. These teleporter booths are incredible."
Carter guided him out, nodded to various staff members. "I take it that's common in pony teleportation?"
"Depending on a pony's level of experience with the spell, disorientation is a common side effect. Low levels of combustion have also occurred when somepony teleports more ponies or they teleport farther than they're used to."
Carter chuckled. "Well, you don't have to worry about that. We have experience with teleporter technology. We use them on our ships but, everyone's been a little hesitant to take apart a teleporter booth. Might not be able to put it back together again."
"That's a shame," Sunburst replied, looking down. "Travel between villages and cities would be a breeze if Equestria had teleporters like these."
"If it makes you feel any better, we don't have them on Earth either." She stopped outside of what appeared to be a medical facility. "This is our infirmary. For the time being, you'll be tutoring Floyd here. We have a room set up for you, just let the doctor know when you're finished."
"Umm, do you have any chalkboards or something I could use?" Sunburst asked, looking between the door and Carter. "It would help me explain my lessons."
"Doctor Juan should have a board you can use. It's not exactly chalk, but, the concept is the same."
"I'll be sure to ask this Doctor Juan if I can use it then." Sunburst nodded and turned to the door. "Thank you, General, I'll be sure to tutor Floyd to the best of my abilities."
"Hopefully, you'll have an easier time with him." Carter bid him farewell, making her way back down the corridor.
Sunburst took another deep breath and trotted into the infirmary. "Hello, Floyd, my name is Sunburst. I'll be your magic tutor. I hope we can get along." He put on his best smile that he hoped didn't look shaky.
"Sup?" Floyd called back, holding a hand up. He sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed.
"Well, I've been rather impressed with this city," Sunburst replied, "and I think I've prepared a lesson perfect for introducing magic to somep-someone with no prior knowledge of it. But first, I need to talk to the doctor for a moment." Sunburst trotted to Dr. Juan's office and returned a few moments later with the board Carter mentioned.
Floyd chuckled, watching Sunburst try to figure out a dry erase marker. "Here." Floyd took the offending object, pulling the cap off. "Cap's to keep it from drying out."
"Thank you," Sunburst chuckled and used his magic to write on the board. "Okay, I think the first thing we should focus on is feeling the magic that is inside us."
"Ah, the Spark thing. The Princesses gave me some help with that." Floyd dropped back down onto his bed. "I wound up hanging off one of the skyscrapers."
"Sounds like you're experiencing magic flare-ups," Sunburst noted, adjusting his glasses. "They're common in unicorn foals. They'll happen while your magic levels try to balance themselves out. And considering the level of potential the princess told me you have, yours could be rather extreme."
"Right, right," Floyd nodded along. "So... how do we start, mister Goatee?"
"Personally, I've found that the eastern school has an effective method for regulating magic levels and feeling its flow," Sunburst explained, ignoring Floyd's nickname. He added onto the lesson on the board. "It'll require some concentration and stillness on your part. You'll take a comfortable sitting position and focus on a symbol of sorts. After that, you should be able to feel your magical flow. Once you can, I'll tell you the next part of the lesson."
Floyd stared at the board, a look of concentration on his face. "Yeah... teach, I can't exactly read... whatever you call your language."
Sunburst facehoofed, shaking his head. "I should've foreseen that. Despite Equish and your language being spoken similarly, it seems our writing systems have different rules." Sunburst sighed and erased the board. "Okay, it seems our lessons will have to be done verbally unless I can demonstrate something with a diagram."
Floyd pulled his legs under him. "I mean, if you got a book, I could try to pick up the writing style. I already know two languages."
"I didn't think to bring one," Sunburst said, rubbing the back of his head, "but I'll see what I can do for our next lesson."
"Eh," Floyd waved him off. "Alright so, meditate or something?"
"That's correct," Sunburst nodded and adjusted his glasses. "The method is surprisingly effective at helping one feel their magic flow without tapping into it. So there's very little chance of you having a flare up."
"I should have expected something boring." Floyd groaned in irritation, closing his eyes. He muttered to himself, though Sunburst couldn't understand the words.
"The basics are always dull," Sunburst chuckled, "but if you get through them quickly, we can move on to more interesting spells. Something like conjuring fireballs or changing the properties of objects."
Floyd broke out into a grin, "General O'Neill was right, this is starting to sound pretty cool." After a moment of quiet, Floyd spoke again, "Hey, can I ask you something?"
"Of course," Sunburst replied with a smile. "I'm your teacher so I encourage questions."
"Ponies used to be tribal, yeah? Do you still have any practices from back then?"
"That's a very astute question," Sunburst said. "Yes, there are still some remnants of that time. One of the obvious ones would be herding. The practice of multiple mares forming a family unit with one stallion. Of course, the reason this practice continuing most likely has to do with skewed birth rates of colts versus fillies. Aside from that, some families have rites of passage for adolescents they believe are eligible for adulthood. I could grab a Sociology book and explain more remnants of that culture if you're interested."
Floyd raised an eyebrow, cracking an eye open. "Thanks. Wasn't exactly the answer I was looking for."
Sunburst rubbed the back of his head. "Oh, um, was there something specific you were wondering?"
Floyd shook his head, "Don't worry about it." He closed his eye, falling into relative silence. Sunburst sat on his haunches, examined Floyd closely, and lit his horn on the off chance Floyd had a magical outburst. "I think... I think I have it..."
Sunburst nodded and dispelled his magic. "Good, now I want you to picture a faucet in your mind. Right now, the flow of your magic is wild and uncontrolled. You need mental control of that flow."
"Alright, I'll try it." Floyd took a deep breath and focused. A few minutes passed in relative silence. Eventually, Floyd's brow furrowed. "I... think I feel something different now."
Sunburst nodded and smiled, "Good, and what do you feel?"
"Uh... Like I'm touching one of those electro orb things."
"Good, that sounds like you're in touch with your magic. Now, let your magic spread through you. From the top of your head to the bottom of your hoo- er feet."
Floyd nodded and pictured the electro orb feeling spreading through his body. "And now I feel like my arms and legs are falling asleep."
Sunburst chuckled, "Your body's adjusting to your newly established magic flow. If you want, you can take a little break to stretch." Floyd nodded, hopping off the bed again. He paced around the room, flinging his hands around in an attempt to get feeling back in them. Sunburst didn't say anything, simply watching as Floyd waved his arms around. "How do you feel now?" Sunburst asked as Floyd flexed his fingers.
Floyd cracked his fingers, a sound Sunburst found to be rather unnerving. "Better. I could probably use some more food though."
"We can get you something to eat after our lesson," Sunburst gave him a smile. "Now, let's take advantage of your new magic flow and teach you the most basic and useful spell of all, levitation."
Floyd grinned like an idiot, rubbing his hands together, "Only took about twenty years, but now I can finally become a jedi."
"A what now?" Sunburst asked, scratching the side of his muzzle.
Floyd blushed, rubbing his neck. "N-never mind, lets just get started."
"Okay, the simplest way to go about levitation would be to channel magic and extend it out to the object or objects you wish to lift. Once you become proficient at this, you'll be able to lift multiple objects while your focus is elsewhere."
Floyd inspected his hands, then looked at a nearby book. "And I do that how?"
"If you were a unicorn I would say through your horn," Sunburst replied. "However, you lack such an extremity. The good news is, you're in touch with your magic flow. Just concentrate and get a feel where your magic wishes to exit your body. That'll be where you channel your magic to."
Floyd held his hand out, locking his gaze onto the book. He took a breath, tapping into the buried magic. He shivered, a light grey glow flickering to life over his hand. The book shifted ever so slightly. Floyd dropped his hand, panting in exhaustion.
"That's... really, really hard..."
"Channeling magic outside your body takes some getting used to when doing it consciously for the first time." Sunburst chuckled. "Even students at Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns can feel inadequate when seeing the magic outbursts of foals. I've actually seen one or two phase through walls."
"Right, right." Floyd caught his breath, raising his hand again. "Just means more food later."
The once bustling village stood empty, its sole remaining inhabitant decaying silently on several crystal spikes. The only movement seemed to be that of debris caught on a breeze. That was, until a black mass started to inch along the stone streets. It hovered over to a discarded set of red armor. Weaving itself ever so carefully into the armor, the mass formed into a dark green earth pony.
Once fully formed, the pony let out a bellow of rage, rearing up and slamming her hooves into the ground. The village shook, buildings falling, quickly being replaced with jagged pillars of purple crystal.
"Damn those furless Lanteans!" she hissed, smoke pouring off of her eyes. "I'll grind their bones to dust!" She sneered at the area before her. "What are the rest of you waiting for!? Do you think lazing around will bring us closer to our lord?"
There was a shift around the splinters and rubble that had been the village and several more black masses started floating through the village. They all formed into several ponies, their colors ranging from jet black to a sickly looking dark purple.
The earth pony growled stalking over to them. "Burn this place to the ground, seed their fields with crystal, remind the other settlements of our power." She stood tall, bearing her fangs. "Get moving, before I make you."
The shadow ponies nodded, splitting into pairs. The unicorns lit their horns, gouts of flame shot out and swept over the remains of the village. The pegasi beat their wings, whipping the flames into an inferno. Another earth pony slammed his hooves into the ground, jagged pieces of crystal rising from below and tearing up the withered remains of crops.
The leader grinned, her fangs shining in the blaze. Even if those wretches returned, they'd find no home here, only desolation. The thought sent a shiver of perverse satisfaction down her spine. "Get the gateship ready, we must return to Mu at once."
They started marching off, or flying off in the case of the pegasi. Their leader hopped down from her spire, leaving a crack along the crystalline floor. Casting one last look at the ruined village, she spat on a discarded doll.
"Glory to the Overlord." She started marching off, the inferno creeping over and consuming the doll.
Welcome to Captain Ffloyd T Berk, who is the only one that can face off against the yet again returning crystal psychos who really need feeding into an activating Stargate?
YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! um... uppss
Aw, poor Maretonians.
hope Floyd gets over his psuedo teenager phase, if this story is anything similar to the original SG1 shows, then things can go from normal to very bad quickly, with or without magic.
Yay, Sunburst! And it's good to see Floyd getting in touch with his magic.
Here's hoping he gets to see that crystal pony that was into him again soon. Does she even know he's okay?
Let's just hope he stays Jedi and doesn't jump franchises and turn into Gary Mitchell.
do they think the exact same scans
This our infirmary
1. Extra spacing here.
2. This is our infirmary.
Channeling magic through the hands actually makes some sense, given keratin is present in both the hooves of horses and in human fingernails.
And as unhappy as I am that they exist, it's good to see the shadow ponies haven't been forgotten.
Uh, I don't think you are using "bemused" correctly. It means "confused"
Given the fact that there are \were VERY few problems in Stargate that the ancients were not responsible for at least indirectly, though most were directly, I wonder what they did to who for the shadow ponies to exist.
8044428 And then Floyd started growing spiral fingernails.
Thank you for putting this out today. It was an awesome birthday present!
8044546
Happy birthday!
8044460
That depends. It can also mean "preoccupied," or "lost in thought," depending on the context.
Hmm... I feel like that Maretonian thing is gonna come back to bite someone in the ass I can just taste it in the winds. And Floyd, Jedi... I appreciate that reference
Good show!
8044546
Happy birthday fellow!
Good to see this updated
8044630 Thank you! ::
8044944 thank you as well!
8045575
Quite welcome friend!
That's Future Floyd's problem.
Kinda feel bad for the leaders of maretonia. Just hope they don't do something bad or stupid to hurt the sgc and the newly formed alliance.
Awesome chapter! Took awhile for an update thou, but I can understand life is kicking your ass so no worries.
Honestly can't remember... was their proposal actually mentioned in the story?
Ahh, interesting point
Hah!
Looks like he only got freedom of the classic minotaur kind - trapped in a maze
Oi. Easy on that fourth wall, pal
No, seriously, Floyd. You're gonna get into trouble for this shit! You don't know what that mare—or Discord—are capable of!
Very goodpoint, actually.
...was there? I mean, they did have precedent for that
Well and then there's your hot date at the festival that was so rudely aborted. Double blue balls!
Well, it's kind of a mutual thing. And he misses his not-a-girlfriend
Well, O'Neill recently got a rather interesting rejuvenation treatment as a result of being on the team
Oh. Just a whiteboard? I thought they'd at least go digital.
"Teach, I was asking for cultural insight, not dating advice."
Jedi mind tricks, here I come!
...what do you mean, "that's forbidden magic"? Well, it's only somewhat mind control.
So, unlike the teleportation, it doesn't come easy. Interesting.
Ew?
Oh. So they just dispersed them, huh?
Seems they need something better to deal with them permanently
CRYSSSSSSSTALSSSSSSSS!
Remarks and corrections:
> Most of his put-on politeness and
There's a line break after "and" that probably shouldn't be there.
> "Is this a bad time?"
> "Sure,"
Um. Answering that with "sure" would mean it is indeed a bad time.
> "Sure," Floyd sat up and waved the older man over, "having someone to talk to
This construction is actually only valid for "s/he said"-type interjections. Sitting up is not a "speaking" verb, so that doesn't really work in this case. Unless you want to go mess with dashes (which is technically the proper way to deal with this), I believe this should be:
"Sure." Floyd sat up and waved the older man over. "Having someone to talk to
But, y'know... with something like "Not at all" as first part, then, as per my first remark
> Doc's gotta job to do.
"gotta" means "got to". This isn't that, this is just an odd merge of "got a". There's no reason at all to write it as "gotta"; there's no difference in pronunciation, so "slang" isn't an excuse here.
> Sounds like you're experiencing magic flare ups
Should be "flare-ups"
> Sunburst facehooved
"facehoofed". A conjugation is not a plurlization. If you come from "facehoof" there is no reason to change that "f" to something else. "loafing around" doesn't become "loaved around", either.
> for the first time," Sunburst chuckled.
"Chuckled" is not a speaking verb. I don't suppose he chuckles out the whole sentence, right? Should be something like "Sunburst said with a chuckle." or "Sunburst said, chuckling." or "Sunburst said. He chuckled."
Actually, for them, magic has been rather sufficiently high technology hidden with a regolithic facade or the occasional resurrected Ancient----which is...pretty much still what they're dealing with here.
Uh oh. That sounded suspiciously like an Ori oath. Could a few of those nasties have been hiding out here and thus escaped the detonation of the Merlin Device?
Obiwan Sunburst.
I misread that as "Glory to the Overgoat." Because I've seen it in the also liked bar so many times.
Edit: dropped my phone and somehow sent gibberish.
You know, I enjoyed the story up to this chapter.
Sure, the way the two cultures reacted to each other and their diplomacy felt bland, rushed, and soulless. But that was alright, since the family scenes with Citrine and the inclusion of Razor and Elmis into the story made up for it. Hell, the way you pulled off O'Neill made it look like this story was going to be a hidden gem. It's a shame that didn't last.
First came the whole teen with alicorn-equivalent power/destiny. And I thought: That's alright. I can overlook that. But then came this:
This paragraph was genuinely painful to read. It is blatantly obvious that conversation was completely derailed in order to shoehorn in this specific point, since the conversation preceding it has absolutely nothing to do with this sudden turn. And on top of that, it wasn't even an answer to the question that was actually asked! Reading this felt like the story had become self-aware and then promptly decided to commit suicide by throwing itself off the 'Gary Stu alicorn harem wish-fulfillment' cliff.
8718756
That exchange wasn't to try and set Floyd up with multiple people. Floyd's Navajo and his grandmother taught him all the tribes traditions. He was asking Sunburst if ponies still had any tribal traditions out of insecurity.
Honestly, I like the story just fine without the "designated group of antagonistic assholes". If the shadow ponies were never mentioned again I would be perfectly happy with that.
Crystal Empire, Shadow Ponies, it has to be Sombra right? The Umbrum cannot be defeated without aid from the Crystal Heart.
10736300
I don't know. One of them almost said Grogar in an earlier chapter.
👍
Everyone will be so jealous 👏
Better his hands than out his ass 🙏
Idiots, they destroy their own feeding grounds...