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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Good and cute, hope you might make some more.
... yeah. Lets be honest - Fluttershy and strap-ons?
Moving right along...
I'm confused.....I read for ten seconds and it's up to strap-ons? Why......?
Um... Yeah, I didn't like this one.
If you're going to write about something as dark as Fluttershy raping Angel, then you need to spend a lot more time building up to it. Spend time delving into Fluttershy's psyche. Show the reader how Angel is wearing her down, up until the day she finally snaps. Going from zero to rape this quickly just makes the story come across as half-arsed, like it's rape for rape's sake. Believe me, that is not a good image to have.
In short: okay idea, but horribly flawed execution.
I wouldn't touch this with a seventy and a half foot pole.
the fuck did I just read
6159745 "The Mane 6 Peg their Brothers for Reasons". I don't see how it's out of character any more than any clop fic involving the mane 6 would be, almost all Fluttershy's episodes center around "don't fuck with yellow quiet."
wtf happened here
6159766
But I'll reiterate, you cannot tell me with a straight face that Fluttershy is even slightly in-character here. If you want a scenario like this to seem at all plausible, you need to spend time establishing and building up to it. Just going straight into Fluttershy raping her brother like this looks awkward at best and lazy at worst.
I see that my earlier comment has disappeared, for some reason...
This *is* pegging for pegging's sake. There is no build up because it assumes you watch the show and know Angel is a jerk to her. I like writing short, mostly self contained stories. It's flattering maybe that people expected more, but I'm not in a position where I can take the time to write more than around 1,500 words per story.
Sorry, I accidentally deleted your comment while trying to respond with my phone and it won't let me undo it.
i650.photobucket.com/albums/uu227/Helvetegyt/WhatisthisIdonteven.png
This felt a little rushed on paper, but taken in context of five(?) seasons worth of Angel being a cunt it mostly works. I do feel it would work better long term, if you ever pick this up again, for Angel to begin deliberately provoking Fluttershy in a constant struggle for dominance, to the point that that's just what their relationship is. Like, at the end there, Flutters wakes up tied face down to the bed with Angel violently sodomizing her. She works her way free and takes her own back. He retaliates, she escalates, and on and on until they reach an equilibrium; he the beastly sub, she the butterfly dom. Or not. Whatever. Still an interesting story.
While I like the idea, it seems rushed and not well characterized. 3/10 as is, but if it was rewritten it has potential to be pretty good.
Don't mind the dislikes and keep writing. This could be pretty good with some edits.
Hey Angel is one thing but don't you dare touch spike