"Come on Fluttershy! Quit being such a scaredy pony and just come!"
Fluttershy has been in a depressed mood for a few weeks now due to a recently failed relationship. All of her friends have been trying to cheer her up to no effect. Finally, after some serious begging, Fluttershy agrees to Rainbow Dash taking her to a new club. Fluttershy figures there isnt going to be a pony that'd be interested in her so decided to go. Little does she know, there is a special pony who likes her ponies quiet.
Chapters (5)
Ok small tip for proper formatting, in dialogue new speaker means new paragraph. Group paragraphs like you would group a sentence, keep them together by related things.
You don't seem to have trouble with run on paragraphs but the chapters could use a little more detail, if I were you I would go in and add some stuff at the beginning to set things up, just something to increase the time between Rainbow asking Fluttershy to go to the club and Fluttershy agreeing to go to the club.
Doesn't really matter what it is, just needs to be something to give the reader time to breathe and settle into the situation, could be something about Fluttershy's house, or previous visits to other clubs with Rainbow. In fact I would try and do that all around, just start looking at the situations and asking yourself "what could I say here to add something to the story?" or "what would the reader like to know about this?"
Your spelling is good and I didn't notice any errors that really jumped out at me, you know how to use a comma better than I do, and the first few chapters seem fine. In "time to return home" though you need somebody to go through and check for words that the spellchecker couldn't quite catch.
(Also if you think you're gonna be stuck with a phone for a wile I would try and see if you can get a bluetooth keyboard for it, I find that plus WPS office works wonders for phone productivity)
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Thank you so much for your input, I truely appreciate it. I understand I may have errors and intend to correct them when possible. Another main problem is that I kinda made this story with the basic plot and no idea where to go so I keep getting stuck but I'm pushing through cx