Doctor Quack Under Duress

by arcanelexicon

The Interrogation

When I woke up, I found myself sitting somewhere inside the Crystal Caverns. I tried to move my arms and legs, but they were strapped tight. I could feel myself hyperventilating. I thought back to all the things that I have done, trying to figure out what I did wrong when I came into this world, and aside from being rude to the princesses, all I came up with was a blank.

I started panicking now. My life was at the complete mercy of the Princesses. The worst part was that if anyone ever came looking for me, the Princesses would just say that I went home. Shallow, unmarked grave, here I come.

The sounds of hoofsteps worsened my panic. The cell door opened, and in stepped the four princesses. They all wore blank, expressionless faces. The first to approach me was Princess Cadance. She placed a hoof on my shoulder, and what she said next changed the atmosphere in the room. She only said one word but it was enough.

“Breathe”

It was only now that I realized that I was holding my breath. I exhaled, letting out all the negative energy inside. I breathed deep, gathering the energy around me, using it to open the floodgates within me, ready to unleash my inner fury.

“WHATEVER IT WAS I DIDN’T DO IT! I WAS ONLY KIDDING ABOUT BEING SO HUNGRY THAT I COULD EAT A HORSE! I NEVER SACRIFICED ANY SLIGHTLY USED VIRGINS! I DON’T WASH MY HANDS AFTER I GO TO THE BATHROOM! I SPAT ON LUNA’S SALAD! I WAS KIDDING WHEN I CALLED CELESTIA A MILF! I AM SLIGHTLY OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE! I’M LEFT HANDED! I DON’T WANT TO GO TO PRISON! I WANT A LAWYER! WAHHHHHH!!!”

“SILENCE!” cried Princess Luna in her trademark Royal Canterlot Voice.

I shut my mouth to save my eardrums from any further damage.

Princess Cadance giggled. “It’s okay, Doc. We’re not gonna hurt you”

I was pretty sure Princess Luna added a “much” to that line.

Princess Celestia stepped forward. “We have no intention of hurting you. Now, Twilight, please put down that boulder.”

“But Princess! This is for science! Doctor Quack survived being piled on by almost three thousand ponies! I’m pretty sure he can-“

Celestia gave Twilight a stern stare. With a disappointed sigh, Twilight put the boulder down.

Celestia turned and faced me. “Now where were we...Ah! Yes! Twilight if you please.”

Princess Twilight stepped forward. “Last week, I noticed something different about Trixie when she visited the castle...”

I prayed that Trixie did not break her Pinkie Promise. I’d be in a lot of trouble if she did.

Twilight continued. “I tried asking her what the two of you did, but she only said that she does not break her Pinkie Promises. It is our wish that whatever you did to Trixie, you also do to us.”

I saw the princesses blushing. They thought it was easy, they thought it would be fun, they never realized that it was the longest two hours of my life. I adamantly told them that I would not be doing it to them.

Princess Luna cleared her throat. “You know that we have our ways, and we can start by breaking your fingers.”

I clenched my fingers. Faustdamnit, how did they know?!

Princess Cadance placed a hoof on Luna’s shoulder. “But auntie, he needs that to do his work! Let’s start with his feet first and work our way up!” Cadance and Luna gave me evil, wicked, sadistic grins.

I gulped. “H-How did you know?”

Twilight smiled. “Trixie may not have told us what we wanted to know, but I made a lot of observations that day. The way she moved, the way her hair bounced, the look of pure bliss on her, the blush on her face when I asked her what the two of you did, and by the Goddess, the way she smelled! It was easy to figure out what the two of you did.”

I knew I was in trouble, and it broke my brain. The only thing that came out of it was “But-, but-, but-“

Celestia cleared her throat. “Twilight sent me a letter detailing what she saw, and I cast a scrying spell to confirm my suspiscions. Yes, it was her, uhm, butt, that told a thousand stories, and now, we wish that you do the same thing to us.”

Cadance then used her magic to levitate a small table in front of me, while Luna used hers to place a bottle on top of it.

This would be torture, this would be agony, this, would not end well at all. I shook my head vehemently.

“I think it’s time we brought out our bribes” said Celestia.

First up was Twilight. With her magic, she conjured up a box. “Since you seem to say that you always hate summer, I asked Rarity to design this for you” said Twilight as she opened the box and levitated its contents in front of me. “These 'tee shirts' and 'shorts' are enchanted to keep you cool and comfortable, and these, I think you call them slippers, are the best I could come up with, but I hope you like it.” The slippers looked like the wooden ones from Japan in my world and I have to say that her bribe was really good, but how would it stack up to the other princesses?

Twilight put everything back in the box and stepped back. Up next was Cadance.

I saw something float to the table. It looked like a book of some sort. I saw a smile from Princess Cadance, and her horn lit up. The book, enveloped in a bluish aura, opened and my jaw dropped. Inside were pictures of my crush, Shoeshine. The pictures ranged from stolen shots, her school pictures, and the coup-de-grace, pictures of her in SOCKS! The book closed, and Cadance stepped back.

It was Luna’s turn now. She stepped forward, obscuring my vision, and whispered in my ear. “We have our ways.” When she stepped back, I was floored by what I saw. There in front of me was the most beautiful telescope I have ever seen. She smiled and I sensed Luna’s presence inside me. I heard Luna’s voice inside my head say “When the moon rises, point the telescope at my chamber. You will surely enjoy the view."

Last was Celestia. She handed me a picture. “I’ve been studying this obsession you have. This is a picture of what you will get when you do what we ask. It comes all the way from the Leonine tribes of Zebrabwe. There is enough in here to feed you for a half a year, or two weeks if you don’t take it slowly. There is no cow meat though, but the pig and chicken meat is more than enough to sate your appetite.” The picture contained various meats inside a frozen cellar. Damn ponies, always messing with you, and doing it in the most adorable way possible.

“Alright, I know I’m going to regret this. Let’s get this over with. I’m pretty sure that the first to ascend among you is the one that needs it most so, let’s go, Celestia.”

I felt the bonds holding me unfasten. I stood up, grabbed the bottle of mane conditioner and asked Celestia to lead us to the nearest bathroom. This is going to be the longest, most excruciating week I will ever have but I guess I have to get used to it, after all, human fingers are more versatile in removing the tangles in a pony’s mane.

Author's Note:

Took me two hours to remove all the tangles from my Trixie Build-a-Bear plush, and that was just the tail. The mane took another three hours. It was agonizing, it was tedious, but it seemed to have made Trixie's smile a little bit wider.

Comments

[EbonHaste]

Bucking-ship!!! My brain just lost a few neurons here and there from repressing my laugh (turns out laughter becomes worse the more you repress it) .

Damn, i'm curretly in bus right now packed to maximum capacity and with someone sleeping next to me (hence the repression) and you make read this

Damn you sir

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“WHATEVER IT WAS I DIDN’T DO IT! I WAS ONLY KIDDING ABOUT BEING SO HUNGRY THAT I COULD EAT A HORSE! I NEVER SACRIFICED ANY SLIGHTLY USED VIRGINS! I DON’T WASH MY HANDS AFTER I GO TO THE BATHROOM! I SPAT ON LUNA’S SALAD! I AM SLIGHTLY OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE! I’M LEFT HANDED! I DON’T WANT TO GO TO PRISON! I WANT A LAWYER! WAHHHHHH!!!”

hehe.. hehehe. Hehehehe!!!! Hahahahaha!

I clenched my fingers. Faustdamnit, how did they know?!

like that swear word.. i'll be sure to remember that one next time i'm pissed

...I made a lot of observations that day. The way she moved, the way her hair bounced, the look of pure bliss on her, the blush on her face when I asked her what the two of you did, and by the Goddess, the way she smelled! It was easy to figure out what the two of you did.”

I felt the bonds holding me unfasten. I stood up, grabbed the bottle of mane conditioner and asked Celestia to lead us to the nearest bathroom. This is going to be the longest most excruciating week i will ever have but I guess I have to get used to it, after all, human fingers are more versatile in removing the tangles in a pony’s mane.

wtf?! Hahahaha o damn i thought they were going to fuck . You set that up pretty good.. damn here i thought you were hinting cloppy things behind the scenes. Fuck
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[EbonHaste]

P.s thnx for the painful stomach cramps dude. Never thought pain like that would be enjoyable.

[Gizmo Gear]

W. T. F.

Gimzo.exe has broken. If repaired, PLEASE never break again.