• Member Since 22nd Sep, 2014
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Doof Ex Machina


For the night is long and not over yet.

T

After the Nightmare Moon's banishment an era of uncertainty, chaos and confusion followed. It seems Equestria is moving towards its end, but it is not going to give up without a fight. Religious terror ramps about the country, many previously permitted beliefs and practices are outlawed and deprived of the protection of the Royal Justice. Began the dark era when the life of earth pony, pegasus or unicorn is worth even less than before. However, some part of the truth was on the side of the Dark Watch...

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 1 )

Interesting story, I really like the medieval inquisition like backgroung :twilightsmile: I'm looking forward to the next chapters!

There are some issues I'd like to talk about, but I prefer to do so through PMs, so expect one. However, one thing I'd like to adress here is the direct speech.

Then he pressed the headpony to the wall and said through his clenched teeth:
“Now listen here: if we can find at least one blasphemer, we will kill all the fools who try to protect him. And now you’re ordered to give us shelter in that tavern next to your house, or we’ll search your house in first!”

When the speaking action is preceding the direct speech, there is a comma (,) not a colon (:). Also, the direct speech follows immediately after that, it doesn't start in a new paragraph. So, it should look like:

Then he pressed the headpony to the wall and said through his clenched teeth, “Now listen here: if we can find at least one blasphemer, we will kill all the fools who try to protect him. And now you’re ordered to give us shelter in that tavern next to your house, or we’ll search your house in first!”

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