Lyra Meets The Boondocks

by dark ganymede

Stinkmeaner Meets Equestria

"What's good nigga? What's really good?"

Colonel H. Stinkmeaner. The last person I was expecting to see in Equestria. But considering how magical ponies in a monarchy befriended me, I shouldn't be shocked.

"Now seeing as how you nyukkas offended me earlier on and have the nerve ta send me back to hell, I decided to pay you a visit in an even better body!"

"Riley let's get out of-"

"Every nigga for himself!"

Riley was already halfway down the hallway out of the castle, planning to get as far away as possible.

Huey bolted from the scene as Stinkmeaner's cruel voice echoed through the castle. It would be a short matter of time before he learned how to use magic and do what he does best, fuck shit up.

"Be a pussy nigga! Your candy ass is gonna be roasted soon enough!"

It was bad enough that Stinkmeaner was back in my life, and even worse that he managed to seem even more ominous than normal.

Oh candy!

What are you doing in my commentary?

Worry about that later silly you need to get out of there first.

After a few more moments of running, Riley finally tired out at the castle entrance. Two guardponies stood over him and began to examine the unknown creature.

"Any of you niggas got a gatorade," He panted and sweat started rolling down his forehead.

"Riley! There's not time to rest we need to stop Stinkmeaner."

"Nigga why do you get to make all the decisions? You don't think I'm real enough to come up with my own plan?"

"No, I know you can't form a plan and a real nigga couldn't either."

"What's going on?" Lyra asked as she walked out of some local drink store.

"Your Princess is being controlled by an evil spirit who's bent on ruining everything for everyone. And why were you shopping?"

"Ponies get bored too," She shrugged her shoulders and took a sip from her levitating beverage.

"Ay can I get a sip?" Riley's arm seemed to portude out at the pony's face.

She nodded, and the cup flew to Riley's hands. He tore off it's lid and poured it's grape flavored insides down his throat and let out a sigh of relief.

"I thought you said a sip," Lyra's eyes started to widen and tear at the sides, "not the whole thing."

"Riley will get you a drink later, we need to focus on stopping Stinkmeaner first. Does anyone know how to stop a winged unicorn anyway?"

Of course no one knew the answer. The only evils they had dealt with were monsters or mythological creatures. So we went around town searching for somepony who might know how to stop one of their own. Most ponies didn't even know what had happened in the castle to begin with.

Oh I did!

Well, Pinkie did. Eventually we had given up. Twilight did suggest that we use the elements of harmony but we soon realized turning the Princess into stone would just create more problems.

We would need other ways of stopping Celestianer. Then it hit me. If nigga moments and synthesis helped stop him in the past, it should stop him now. But where in Equestria could we find someone as hateful as Stinkmeaner?

Lyra stood up on both hooves and scratched the back of her mane.

"The Everfree forest. It's full of evil and mystery, maybe we can find something to get rid of that Stinkmeaner fellow," she shrugged.

"Nigga where that at? Is it like the ghetto of Equestria or some shit? Cause if we going in the ghetto then we gonna need some heat," Riley stood up and pretended to shadow box against a hood nigga.

"What's a ghetto?" Lyra and the rest of the 'mane six' chimed.

For all of you who are too white to know what a ghetto is, or have chosen to forget the events before and during the holocaust, a ghetto is a minority infested area, that is essentially a modern African tribal ground. Tribes become gangs, hunting and gathering become looting and theft, and witch doctors become your local dealer.

"A ghetto is a dangerous area full of crime and violence," Huey looked at Riley who was still pretending to fight in some martial arts movie. "It's not as fun as he makes it seem."

"The Everfree isn't a ghetto by that definition then, it's just an unknown area," Twilight stated.

"Aight pony nigga, let's fuck shit up and- wait. Why am I helping you again? That gay ass rainbow nigga punched me and all I'm supposed to do is bring Huey back."

"Call me gay one more time."

As Rainbow Dash and Riley began to butt heads, the mane six, Lyra and Huey headed out to the forest.

"Hey where did Huey go?"

-----

"So what are we looking for in here anyway?" Applejack asked.

"Something that can help us create nigga synthesis. It was how we stopped Stinkmeaner in the past."

"We? We only just met you."

Twilight raised an eyebrow at the boy.

"Grandad, Uncle Ruckus and I. They're people from my world. Originally we thought we had stopped Stinkmeaner then and there but apparently we didn't."

"So he has a grudge on ya huh? Well we'll take care of him and send him packing faster then a herd of angry cows."

Applejack swung her lasso round her tail to show her readiness to the rest of the group.

"I don't think just a lasso will do much against magic Applejack, this nigga has control over Celestia."

After sensing the rest of the group was staring at her, Twilight shrugged.

"We may as well call it by it's proper name."

-----

"Nigga do you even know where they went?"

Riley asked Rainbow Dash, who just tried her best not to hit him again.

"No, you should have been paying more attention. He's your brother."

"That don't make a difference, he can take care of himself."

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "And you can hardly defend yourself at all."

"I can smack you up any day, rap battle or a fist battle."

He crossed his shoulders and the mare stopped looking for the rest of the group.

"A rap battle? Puh-lease, nopony is a better rapper than MC R-Dash."

"Alright nigga let's go!"

-----

"Hey Ruckus, when do you think my boys will be coming back?"

"Well Robert, when I sent them off I was doing both them, and society a favor. The niggers won't be able to harm any white people anymore."

"What!? Ruckus those are my grandkids!"

"Robert I didn't know you cared so much about your nigga chil'un. I can re-open the portal if you really want to get them."

"Hell no! They need to know to not do anything stupid, when I'm not around! Besides I'm too old for this shit!"

"Works fer me."

Comments

[Bookmaster]

Lol go Riley beat that bitch in a rap battle with nyugga powah

[Lionheart]

901742 first posting = banning now

[Dancing Dead]

901783

memefolder.com/image/590.jpg

brb, deleting comment. Fuck.

...You didn't see anything.

[CaptRicoSakara]

More, dammit! MORE!

[dark ganymede]

I'll do my best to have it decent and finished by the weekend. I have no idea how the rap battle will turn out.

[CPA870]

Make tom go in and have stinkmeaner re posses him and beat the crap outta all of them.

[Paladin Redflare]

SHII YEAH NYKKUH, I JUS STARTED READIN' DIS WEEK, lucky me.

[Sarkastik Menace]

EPIC SHIT NYGGAH. HAPPY YOU FINALLY UPDATED. BEEN HERE SINCE CHAPTER ONE

[Your Antagonist]

Nice as usual, Nyukkah!

[Damien Phoenix]

This is quite enjoyable.

[Foalicon_]

Wasn't this cancelled

[dark ganymede]

1161872
Just delayed.

[XboxAnnihilator]

Aw shit. I can just picture a wild, unintelligent animal in the Everfree raging out and being all WUZ GOOD, NYUKKA

[danail24]

Need moar!files.sharenator.com/moar10-s750x600-263864.jpg

[Oxy]

moar now!

[zsewqthewolf]

1164940 I see a BB gun fight soon

[freedombiscuts]

Can we get Cindy and twilight to interact since they're both voiced by Tara strong?

[TLP]

MC R-Dash?

I am SO stealing that one. ;P

[MyOpenRoad]

This would be an epic series between My Little Pony and the Boondocks and especially if the Freemans got older, which it be scarier, too.

[bignastyshrek]

When are you going to write more? I need to write one soon.