• Member Since 10th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago

Emtu


Despite my avatar, I am not actually a pony. (You may also see me around as m2pt5 rather than Emtu.)

T

One day at The Con, The Guy dressed as The Cop found the perfect axe. That was the day he became AXE COP!

“I need a partner now.” So Axe Cop had tryouts and hired a partner.

“My name is Lyra!”

“Sign up here Harp Cop, we have a gang of changelings to kill.”

So the new team went into the land of snobby rich ponies and fought the gang of changelings with their axe and harp.

“I WILL CHOP YOUR HEAD OFF!”

So they cut the Changeling Queen's head off, then devised a plan.

“We should put this head on a stick and hide bombs in it.”

But Harp Cop got changeling blood on her. “I feel strange...”

The changeling blood caused Harp Cop to unexpectedly transform into a changeling soldier!

And so they became Axe Cop and Changeling Soldier!

Chapters (6)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 54 )

Tiz gut, Iz proud. Very proud indeed

5933774
I searched when I first came up with the idea, as I was sure someone would have done it already, but I was shocked (shocked I tell you) to find that it wasn't the case.

My god. Now that this fic exists... then there's nothing keeping the sharks and tigers from an all out war.

What is this, the Renaissance of LoHAV? I mean, fucking Axe Cop? Really?





THIS IS FUCKING AWESOME!

Hahaha, oh my, I had completely forgotten that thing exists. I hope you found a 5 year old to write the story to this, too, or I'm gonna have to call shenanigans for not being true to the source.

5939284
No, no young ones involved. But if it helps, I have approximately the creative writing skills of a 5 year old.

5939443 You also have the Palringo group... which has the approximate emotional maturity of a bunch of particularly intelligent seven year olds

5939443
True. I suppose I'll be able to make do, then. :pinkiesmile:

ok even i find this weird and i like both Axe Cop and MLP but both just to weird

Question: how similar is Axe Cop to Inferno Cop? Because if they're anything alike, then I'm going to read this and probably enjoy it very much.

5953123
I just looked up Inferno Cop, and I would say, while they're not exactly alike, they're not entirely dissimilar.

Have a look: http://axecop.com/archives/

Checked out Axe Cop. Read fic. Am impressed. :pinkiecrazy:

This is awesome. Please continue

I looked over the directions, then nodded. “Thanks, doc. Come on, Changeling Soldier, let’s go. Don’t want to keep the princess waiting.” I headed out of the clinic.

“My name is Lyra!”

Is he going to keep using axecopisms for everything? God I hope he will. Please tell me he will.

You should edit the first chapter use "Lute Cop" instead, by the way. It would be so much funnier and it's totally a legit synonym for harp. Trust me, I'm a scientist. :derpytongue2:

5953788
As for using axecopisms, the way I have it going is that the new powers are messing with his mind somewhat, but he can push it aside and be serious when he really needs to be (like when he explained the thing to Celestia.) So yeah, further axecopisms are likely. I don't have a whole lot of overarching plan for this story, I'm mostly making it up as I go along, but I do have a few specific ideas for future episodes.

The best part was when he tried to kill smoke with an edged weapon. :trollestia:

5986316
I don't (currently) have any plans to depart majorly from canon. (In-between events may vary, but the results will mostly ultimately be the same.) I even plan any crossovers (at least "home" crossovers) to work into canon, and "away" crossovers will either take place during canon that Axel can't reasonably get involved in or simply "between episodes".

Are you going to keep to that one-episode-per-chapter format? Because that was kinda neat. I do have to admit I am a bit curious what you'd do with this if you were to shoot for a more consistent story instead, though.

6006908
I do plan to go one episode per chapter, yes. As for a more consistent story, that probably won't happen here for two reasons.

1. Because it's Axe Cop
2. This is the first time I've actually written anything resembling a coherent story, and it helps greatly having the framework of the existing episodes to build from.

Architect's Reviews

Ok, this is the first time I'm reviewing a story that is NOT part of the FBI, so I'll be posting it as a comment here instead of there.

Story, Axequestria, by m2pt5.

Story hook: A large number of short sentences that beat the premise of the story over the readers head. Exactly like the original comic.

Concept

Premise (the idea): Axe Cop as a Displaced in Equestria. This one is completely brilliant for more than a few reasons. First of all, you don't have to be that skilled to write a good Axe Cop, since the actual author is five years old, and most of the things that would get a normal story panned are instead following the original style. I'll get to each one later. Plus, it's silly enough to grab the readers attention, and clever enough to hang onto it.

Plot (the story): So far it just seems to be keeping to the original timeline of the show as much as possible, and throwing in Axe Cop changes when necessary. While not the most original setup, it works quite well here. However, this story does have a tendency to pull stuff out of its @$$. Exactly like Axe Cop. With bizarre plots. Like Axe Cop. It reads like a little kid's story, and it's supposed too.

Execution

Characters (are they consistent?): So far, yes. The main character is trying to act like Axe Cop himself as much as possible, and it works nicely, with the AxeCopisms providing a humorous touch and hints of his real personality under the surface. The others are also consistent and recognizable. No earth shattering headcanon revelations just yet, but the story is still young.

Pacing (is it too fast/slow, or just right?): it's very in-your-face, fast paced, and abrupt. Just like Axe Cop.

Polish (Grammar, spelling, sentence structure, paragraph formatting, etc.): The writing is simplistic, with a limited vocabulary, used in a slightly stilted fashion. Just like Axe Cop. The grammar and spelling are still decent, though, and it's not chore to read at all.

Conclusion: If this story was anything but Axe Cop, I would be hating it right about now. However, all its mistakes are either A. on purpose, or B. cleverly disguised as being on purpose. It reads exactly like an Axe Cop comic, where the protagonist is overpowered and pulls new abilities out of absolutely nowhere all the time, and that works greatly in it's favor. I find this one almost impossible to rate because I can't figure out which poor writing choices are made on purpose to match the source material, and which ones are honest mistakes. Kudos to you.

Rating: 8.5/10, as far as I can tell. Subject to change as I become more insightful into the writing process and better able to pick it apart.

6029635

I can't figure out which poor writing choices are made on purpose to match the source material, and which ones are honest mistakes.

Probably about half and half. This is my first genuine attempt at writing a story that's more than a few lines and even close to semi-coherent, so I'm glad people like it. I'm far more of an editor than a writer, but I had this ridiculous idea and I couldn't get anyone else to pick it up, so I got badgered into writing it myself. I know I can get away with a lot more because it's Axe Cop than I'd be able to do otherwise, that's why it's still going and not badly rated.

6029850 I had a feeling that was what you were doing. It's why I said the premise was brilliant.

Also I thought this would be a fun place to cut it.

Ba dum tish.

I think it would be funny if Trixie was still alive after all that. Maybe she could become a friend to Axe Cop and be like the "amazing screw-on head" comic

As I slowly pulled my crystal axe out of my backpack, I continued to glare down at them. “It’s not their heads I’m going to chop off.” With four quick slashes of my axe, the two bullies screamed and there were several thin paper-like objects hovering in the air. I grabbed them and held them up to reveal they were the bullies’ cutie marks. With a sharp gasp, they quickly wiped the mud off their backsides to reveal their flanks were blank, at which point they screamed again. I folded them up and tucked them in my pocket. “You’ll get these back in a week. This is your punishment for your relentless bullying, and hopefully it will keep you from turning into bad guys in the future.”

Gotta give it to you, that was just inspired. Amazingly axe-ish, amazingly cop-ish, and also really really funny. I don't think I've seen anyone use that approach to that encounter before, but "I am taking your toys away until you show me you've learned not to brag about them" is both amusingly appropriate (given that he's dealing with kids) and at the same time just weirdly feels like he's somehow cheating - you're supposed to be having crazy shenanigans to solve your petty interpersonal conflicts, not use basic parenting techniques, you silly cop person! You're in a cartoon! That's not how it works!

6041845
Eh, he's not actually Axe Cop, and he doesn't want to have to kill ponies without a damn good reason.

6042059
Neither does Axe Cop, of course, because that is something Bad Guys would do. Obviously. I just meant that the sudden invasion by common sense - in a story taking place in this show's setting - is just extra funny, because it really only makes it even more obvious how insane most of the things done by the canon cast really already are.

“First, I’m going to eat one.” I grabbed a lemon, pulled my regular axe out of my backpack, sliced the lemon into wedges, stuck one on my axe, and ate the rest of it. “Now I’m Axe Cop with Lemon.”
She facehoofed again. “Come on, really? What are you going to do, cut her and squeeze that lemon wedge into the wound?”
“Help me load a basket of lemons into my backpack and I’ll show you.” I grinned.
“Is that much even going to fit?” she asked.
“Don’t be silly, of course it is.” I kept a couple lemons in hand, but the rest fit in my backpack with no issues, a fact which CS looked surprised to see. We made our way back towards the town, and stopped at the dirt road. As I wound up with one of the lemons, I yelled, “I’m gonna throw a grenade bomb and you’re gonna die!” I sent the lemon sailing through the air at the shield, and it exploded on impact. It didn’t seem to damage the shield at all, though.

You see this? This is what I was talking about.

6042259
Well, Axe Cop with Lemon is from the comic. I just kind of expounded on it, while having a character point out the ridiculousness of it while he was doing it.

Maybe in the next episode Axel could investigate a disturbance at a camp about "The Headless Horse"
and find out that he's real but the questions arises.
Why is the Headless Horse at the camp?
Who is the olden pony and why is she walking in the forest at night?
Can you chop someone's head off if they don't have one?

...yeah, now we're kind of getting into the parts of all that Displaced crap that everyone dislikes about it. Grimdarkness, gratuitous crossovers and out-of-character randomness that is really not all that funny... it's not really all that enjoyable if you're not the type who thinks that just having a bunch of video game characters in it makes a story automatically better.

6045285
There will be more crossovers; if I can't fit them into an episode, or use them to skip an episode, they'll be "between episodes". There's hardly a Displaced without them, and Axel needed an introduction to being a Displaced. Also, Axel mostly dropped the Axe Cop persona around Cinder because she's the first other Displaced he's met, and he was happy just to see another (former) human. I will try to keep that thing to a minimum in the future. Some outgoing crossovers may be somewhat grimdark, but even then I will try to alleviate it with Axe Cop antics.

6045437
Just please try to keep it to stuff that actually matches the tone of the story, if you do so, not crossovers with franchises that you're personally a fan of. Spending more time writing about that than whatever the original plot of your own story was is usually the point at which a story like this straight-up becomes not worth reading anymore.

I scooped up the azure unicorn’s head, lined it up on her neck stump, and wrapped several layers of the duct tape around the joint.

This reminds me of Pnub from Idle Hands.

6046343
Can't say I've seen that one.

6046394
It is a stoner comedy with zombies, involving the main character's struggle against his possessed evil hand and his quest to get the girl. He kills his friends who become the zombies, Pnub is one of them. Has almost cartoonish levels of gore. Seth Green is one of the protagonist's buddies.

I find it absolutely hilarious. Here's a direct link to the trailer so the comment is cleaner by avoiding unnecessary embed for those who might not care.

I need to do a crossover with this story eventually!

7714428
I have no idea what you're talking about. This chapter predates Undertale's release by 4 months, and while I know now that it had a kickstarter and stuff before that, I hadn't heard of the game at all before it was released.

Comment posted by Emtu deleted Jan 16th, 2019
Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!