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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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That's a pretty even love-hate relationship developing here. Does anyone have any comments on it?
It will be interesting to see if you develop Applejack's side of this tale any further down the road. What consequences will come of her first time being forced like that? And while she kept him from running off immediately and was able to come to much better terms with him, he's still running off ultimately to be with Fluttershy as his only real marefriend. (Despite the fact that he's obviously going to get more and more other pussy as long as the story continues, because that's what this is.)
I don't feel like she hates him at the end, if anything she's too far on the other end: the Element of Honesty even willing to lie to protect him? (or is it just to protect Fluttershy from the truth?) I'm not saying her feelings are purely positive, she is stuck with a pain that will never fully go away. But so far it feels like any consequences (other than a potential hybrid baby) are set to be in her heart and/or dealings with others and not rebound to him.
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You're picking up on everything I intended just fine. Thanks for the comment.
I decided that, as human as the Equestrian ponies act, they're still going to have a horse social structure. This means a stallion with a harem of several mares, with one of the mares being dominant, and their foals. Not only is that accurate for nature, it's exactly the kind of story I wanted to tell in the first place. Because that's pretty much every guy's dream, am I right?
However, the more I write this, the more I realize that if I take Jack's story far enough, Discord's goal to create chaos will be realized. Whatever Discord did to him in terms of pheromones/whatever, it's made him extremely desirable to mares. At some point, there's going to be conflict, at least for dominance. After all, Fluttershy isn't naturally a dominant type, yet she was defaulted into that position in a group that has a princess in it. And there are other princesses that could get involved. On top of that, some of these mares are going to end up damaged/perverted. There's also going to have to be conflict with stallions. Not all of them are going to get off on seeing their wives cuckolded (expect to see Jack having a problem with Big Mac at some point).
My goal, of course, is not to tell a meaningful story in any way. I'm going to try to use that conflict always in the service of furthering the clop. As soon as I see this veering off in a meaningful direction, I'm going to yank on the reins (so to speak) and turn it into a flimsy premise for a porn scenario.
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You make some good points here--I think you overstate some of it, but good points. I was trying to be consistent, not doing what you thought I was doing, but it's really difficult to remain totally consistent. I'm trying to keep them at canon size (which is medium to large dog). I'll have to rethink some of these and work out the details.
Thanks!
I'm surprised that the mares don't get jealous. (exactly what discord said)
Dayum life would be so much more easier like that.
Oh my god that story was amazing!
Can't wait for the update!
Jack's mine, sugarcube!
We can share him!
I just said he's mine...
WE. CAN. SHARE. HIM!!!
Alright, calm the fuck down flutters..