• Published 13th May 2012
  • 1,349 Views, 17 Comments

I Could Make a Better Equestria - SchrodingerFu



Equestria would run much better under a smarter ruler.

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Twilight Could Make a Better Equestria

It was dark. Not a light flickered in all of Ponyville. Just about everypony was asleep, save for one. As usual, Twilight Sparkle remained the only pony awake long enough to behold the Night Princess's moon and its movement. It was a full moon, hanging not quite overhead but not quite in the distance either. In a transitional state, you could say.

Not that the moon in any way relates to Twilight Sparkle or why she was awake for any reason.

As you probably know, Twilight Sparkle is an immensely inquisitive pony. If something was unknown, she would find it. Being so inquisitive, she had learned a great deal about many, many different things. Different things, and different ponies. Some ponies were quiet, some were strong, some were courageous, some were competitive. However, there was perhaps only one quality that almost every pony she had ever known shared.

An entirely bloated sense of self-importance.

They literally had the immortal beings controlling the sun and the moon right in front of them, and yet she still found them enamored in whatever menial, stupid task that happened to cross their almost shamefully feeble minds.

Parties. Fashion. Animals. Winning. All of these were pointless. Pointless distractions.

Distractions from what?

Higher knowledge. Greater power. Anything beyond one's reach, one should strive for.

But it seemed, at least to her, that the only pony who actually sought to improve, who geniunely wanted to solve the mysteries of the universe...

...was her.

Twilight Sparkle had spent her entire life in Canterlot. She had not made any friends, as she did not need any. She studied and learned. She found not a single pony who could assist her or further her quest, so she was disinclined to meet other ponies. Even when her parents forced her to meet their business associates or famous authors or garbageponies or green nine-legged aliens she didn't know she really didn't pay attention. They were all proud of their tiny accomplishments. Those that had nothing to show pride for had no incentive to change that.

Two years ago, she had moved to the quieter, rural-er Ponyville, where she quickly made five “friends”. They were her not quite friends, but she respected them, though they did not share her goal. Her passion. Frankly, she did not want to make friends, but they proved useful at times; they were more often than not easy to write friendship reports about. She could hardly turn her back before two of them would get in a fight about something trivial. At the very least, it would look to Princess Celestia that she was doing something. All the more time to study in her own well-furnished library.

Twilight Sparkle tried to cease her tossing and turning and keep her eyes shut.

She began dreaming in an attempt to get her mind away from other ponies. Not like sleeping dreaming, just daydreaming without the day. She imagined a new world. A world where each and every pony was judged by their intelligence, not their status. A world without such distractions as fashion or competition. A world where everypony worked together for the common good.

A world made for her.

She had failed to keep her eyes shut. She was too deep in thought. Everything was wrong with the world, she thought, and I need to fix it.

Twilight Sparkle was perfectly certain that her thoughts at night did not match her thoughts during the day. She did not, however, know which thoughts were correct. Were her night thoughts muddied by sleeplessness, or did they uncover a deeper truth? In a way, both were correct, and in another way, neither were. It was all about perspective.

But for the time being, her night thoughts had a plan. A plan of a new world. She leapt out of her bed. More accurately, she quietly pulled off her blanket and slowly eased herself onto her hooves. It was still night, and she was still tired.

Moments after the young unicorn's hooves hit the cold wooden floor of her library, her window swung open with a rusty creak, and a single rolled piece of parchment flowed inside, hanging in midair for a few seconds before dropping to the floor. Curious, she unrolled it.

Open your door.

As she made the long descent of the stairs and subsequent journey across the library's main corridor, counting the individual clops her hooves made on the floor, she couldn't help but redirect her thoughts to the more urgent matter. Who wanted to meet with her, and this late? She couldn't name a pony who would be awake at this hour! Except...

She opened the door, then gave a deep bow. Her suspicions were confirmed.

Princess Luna.

“A beautiful night, isn't it, Twilight Sparkle?”

Twilight raised herself back onto her front hooves. “It is. If I may ask, what brings you here?”

“You know that I am tasked with moving the moon across the sky, yes?”

“Of course,” this hardly answered Twilight's question, “it's the first thing anypony knows about you.”

“Well,” Luna slowly stepped inside, “what most do not know is that when the moon is full above a pony's head, I can hear that pony's thoughts.”

This was news to Twilight Sparkle. She darted to a window and, sure enough, the moon had passed directly over the library.

She turned bashfully back to the princess, “So, you heard me thinking about...”

Luna interrupted, “I heard you thinking about your new world. A world where each pony thinks and acts for the good of the group as a whole.”

Twilight remained silent.

Luna continued, “You and I are different from other ponies, Twilight. We both want more for the world. We both see that Equestria is run poorly. Inefficiently. Foolishly. And we both want to stop it.”

Twilight was confused, “But you're a princess! You already rule Equestria! If you wanted things to change, couldn't you just change them?”

“Twilight Sparkle, there is something that your teacher, my sister, has not told you,” Luna breathed a deep sigh, “No pony knows this but her and me. We do not share power over Equestria, and we never have. All political decisions are made by her. I have no input. She doesn't even allow me to leave the castle, and she keeps me in the dungeon during her daytime.”

Twilight gasped. She was thoroughly unprepared for such a development. “But... what about the Mare in the Moon? It said that you refused to lower the moon, so Princess Celestia banished you.”

Luna responded quickly, “'Twas a lie. I was actually banished in my sleep. It was exactly noon, and the sun was bright overhead. My sister banished me for much more... selfish reasons.”

Twilight listened curiously.

“Do you remember my form as Nightmare Moon?”

Twilight nodded.

“I had the same shape as my sister does now. Likewise, our magical power was equal. Princess Celestia banished me to the moon to be sure that I would not steal the throne from her, then spread a rumour depicting me as cruel and evil and herself as good and just.”

Twilight was starting to understand, “So, when we used the Elements of Harmony, you...”

“...lost most of my power. This was Celestia's plan from the beginning. She would banish me until she could find a suitable candidate to use the Elements of Harmony, so she could remain the most powerful pony in Equestria.”

Twilight Sparkle eyed the ground, “Sorry about that.”

Luna gave the slightest, nearly indistinguishable smile, like the Mona Lisa, “It's alright. You didn't know.”

Twilight was relieved that she was forgiven, “So, how does this relate to me?”

“I would like to help your dream come to fruition. I don't want Equestria ruled by mindless aristocrats whose life goal is to remain as they are. Even Celestia spends her time Equestria needs a new leader. Equestria needs you.”

Twilight smiled, “I'm flattered, but I don't really understand. How could we possibly establish a new government while the current one still exists?”

Luna's eyes narrowed, “That's the easy part. I am still the rightful heir to the throne. If we eliminate Celestia, Equestria is ours. The two of us can remake it correctly.”

“Eliminate...”

“Celestia is still more powerful than either of us, so I suggest a more... permanent method.”

Twilight's eyes shot wide with fear, “K... kill Princess Celestia? I couldn't. I wouldn't!”

Luna remained stone-faced, “She has not done a single thing to better her kingdom during her entire reign. You know this. She has a massive library in Canterlot, yet she makes no effort to spread this knowledge to others, nor to add to it in any way. She concerns herself only with appearing regally before the masses.”

Twilight wanted to argue, but Luna made a good case. She tried to suppress a yawn, but failed. “I'm sorry, Princess. I just... can't think right now.”

Luna nodded, “I understand. I will return tomorrow night. I hope you can make a decision by then.”

Twilight smiled gratefully, “Thank you, Princess.”

“However, remember this. Barring my sister, the two of us have the most magical power in all of Equestria. For a regular unicorn, this is impressive. Should you choose to rule Equestria with me, I could teach you an even greater power. The power that allowed Celestia and I to rule for hundreds of millenia.”

Twilight knew exactly what she had meant.

Luna gave a small bow, “Goodbye, Twilight Sparkle.”

Luna left the library, closing the simple wooden door behind her. Twilight slowly made her way back up the stairs and into her bedroom. She was asleep before her lavender mane hit the pillow.


The sun rose, and the sun set, both perfectly on time. These were the major events of the day. Why were these major events? It meant that Celestia was cheerful. She suspected nothing.

The moon once again took its place in the sky. As usual, Twilight Sparkle remained the only pony awake long enough to behold the Night Princess's moon and its movement. And, for tonight, the Night Princess herself.

Twilight was torn. Knowledge and power. This was what she had always wanted, always yearned for, spent her entire life attaining. It should be an easy decision. And yet... to murder her mentor, leader, and friend...

A scroll drifted through the window.

Have you decided?

Twilight looked to the sky. The moon was directly overhead.

She had made up her mind.








“I'm ready.”

The world around her blurred and darkened. The library disappeared, replaced with only darkness. The floor beneath her ceased to be under her, and she began to fall.

She blacked out.

When she came to, she was on her hooves, in front of Princess Luna. “Oh, hello, Princess.” She bowed quickly.

Princess Luna kept her focus on Twilight. “You are ready.”

Twilight remained silent.

“Follow me.” Luna turned slowly and led Twilight to Celestia's private chambers.

It finally occurred to Twilight that she was now in Canterlot, in the tallest tower of the castle. She had never been here before.

Luna silently opened a large, jewel-adorned door. Inside was a massive canopy bed, easily four times the size of Twilight's. It was covered with fine satin and silk of vaious bright colours. Princess Celestia was lying outstretched on the bed, happily asleep.

Luna produced a thin, very sharp knife and held it in the air near Twilight. She took it in her magical grip.

Twilight's heart sunk. This was it.

Some amount of time passed. It could have been a second, it could have been hours. None present could tell.

Twilight's breathing became heavy. She turned to Luna, “I can't do it...”

“One life lost for the betterment of millions. A better world. A world of infinite possibility.”

Twilight's heart raced.

“Your world.”

Twilight let a single tear escape her eyelids and slide down her cheek.

The knife plunged downward.





So began the Age of the Night, under Princesses Luna and Twilight Sparkle.


Author's Note: I wasn't really sure which tags to put on this. If you think it deserves a dark/sad/tragedy tag, it'll get one. For now, it's just Random.

I tried to write a bit more subtly here. I'm not sure if it worked or if it came off as just keeping the audience in the dark. I'd love your input if you'd like to give it.

Thanks for reading.

Comments ( 17 )

It is ok, but really freaky story. And Luna was never as big as Celestia, she is younger, thats why she is smaller. In show Luna's power was never mentioned, but I think she CAN be more powerfull then Celestia, she can transform into Nightmare Moon, and she is for sure more powerfull then Celestia.

A nice little story, decently paced. It kept my attention 'til the end. I liked how you chose to leave a lot of the details up to the reader's imagination. Are Luna and Twilight really going to bring about a golden age, or will they be even worse than Celestia? It's interesting to ponder the possibilities.

The first part set things up pretty well. No real complaints.

There's a bit of a problem with the ending though (and I hate to make this the longest part of my comment, because I really did like the story, honestly.)

Celestia is the almighty ruler of Equestria, possessing forbidden knowledge that has kept her alive for millennia. Therefore, the only way to defeat this unstoppable despot is to . . . stab her with a knife while she's asleep? So does that mean that for all the thousands and thousands of years that she's been in power, no one has ever tried to assassinate her? If anyone could just sneak into her room and stab her, then what took Luna so long? And why did she even need Twilight in the first place? I'm not saying that it needed to be an action scene. It's better that it was something subtle, but just shanking her doesn't make a whole lot of sense given the buildup.

Keep writing, though. I was entertained enough to give it a thumbs up, and some other people probably will be too.

I really enjoyed this will there be more chapters?:moustache:

Sorry, I won't dislike the story but I also don't quite like it, the sudden out of character personalities without any reasoning or justification just killed it for me. I'll also recommend the Dark tag, murder is implied rather obviously after all, and the entire thing is just grim as heck.

It seemed out of character, but the way you wrote it made it easier to believe. Definitely should have a dark and sad tag. Good pacing, and overall enjoyable. Well done!:raritywink:

She is displeased with with the way Equestria is run... until she finds a note book that can kill ponies if their name is written in it. Then she tries to become goddess of the new world. :pinkiecrazy:

585319

Thanks for your input. As for the end, I really didn't think of that. Honestly I didn't. I suppose it is a rather huge, gaping plot hole that almost invalidates the entire story just by how inane it is.

That being said, I can't think of an easy way to fix it without it seeming shoehorned in, which is pretty much would be.

585832

Isn't it the damnedest thing that the big plot hole is in the least important part? The manner of Celestia's demise is relatively unimportant compared to the development of Twilight's discontent, so don't feel too bad.

Have you ever read Aldous Huxley's A Brave New World?

This story reminded me of that. It's a sort of inverted 1984 where, rather than controlling people through fear and suffering like The Party did with Oceania, people Huxley's world are simply kept so distracted by meaningless entertainment that their lives are utterly banal and pointless, having no depth whatsoever, leaving them completely meek and compliant with only a handful of "real" people banging their heads against the wall and wondering what's wrong with the world.

Really Twi... What a brillliant way to star a new world... With an assassination.
Twilight Sparkle is now, officially a tool. :twilightoops:

But I like the fic.

Well now, that was curious. Quite a good read

For some unknown reason this all makes scene
interesting

585832
Rare poison collected over a long period of time could be a good excuse. Luna would have to influence others outside of her cell to get the materials collected and it would take a while. It would be really hard to get an antidote especially if it was a fast acting neurotoxin.
Juts a thought.:twilightsmile:

I think this seems close to character for Twilight. She didn't think friends were important in the beginning of the show either, so why change her perspective after years of study. Knowledge is most important to her and like you said, no one shared her intellectual goals (everyone calls her an egghead). IF she is focused on logic and Celestia's domain is against the grain, it is broken in her mind.

Personally I like friendship loving Twilight, but I think this is a plausible outlook. I like how the letters are a distraction.

Sorry for the ramblings.:facehoof:

585832
Rare poison collected over a long period of time could be a good excuse. Luna would have to influence others outside of her cell to get the materials collected and it would take a while. It would be really hard to get an antidote especially if it was a fast acting neurotoxin.
Juts a thought.:twilightsmile:

I think this seems close to character for Twilight. She didn't think friends were important in the beginning of the show either, so why change her perspective after years of study. Knowledge is most important to her and like you said, no one shared her intellectual goals (everyone calls her an egghead). IF she is focused on logic and Celestia's domain is against the grain, it is broken in her mind.

Personally I like friendship loving Twilight, but I think this is a plausible outlook. I like how the letters are a ditraction.

Sorry for the ramblings.:facehoof:
585966

She may be naive, but she isn't blind. Remember the Canterlot wedding? Plus she has a contingency plan for almost everything.

585319
I have to agree with this, but it was quite an interesting ending all the same though.

>> Noakwolf You know there actually isna Death Note MLP fanfic? It's on here, and it's really good. But if you've already read it, then ok. Fine.

Great fanfic, I wish I could have seen what happu at the end, but it was better this way.

Things happen too suddenly imo. This would work better as a longer story, and with more that happened after the end.

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