Seanzilla115
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- FabulousNight · 2.3k words · 62 7 · 2.3k views
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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to be reviewed by Reviews At Gunpoint, by me or the group owner Snake Plissken
I will review this one
Honestly, this would be better without the Japanese dispersed throughout.
5648276
"This is going to be reviewed by me or me on a different account"
5649128 im guessing you know my split personalities
5649131
Gee it's not like you have a blog post about how you have five accounts on this site or anything.
also
>split personalities
i.imgur.com/v1cyG5r.jpg
5648984
What he said, it just makes the reading very awkward.
5649144 dang it, ive been caught
5648984
I love that it does that, i think it makes it different from any other story I've read so far. It gives it a bit of a uniqueness!
Author keep up the good work!! Can't wait for more
5652656 I wouldn't mind it as much if there was actually a reason for it, but it seems like the author did it just to do it.
5652882
Yeah i understand that, it would have made it alot better if he would have introduced it in the beginning of the story and made it flow consistently. Instead of all over the place at random.
5653101 Plus, the other ponies had absolutely no problem with his way of speaking, and Fluttershy doing the same. So either there's a prequel where this is explained, or it needs one.
5653137
I think even Rarity spoke that way maybe once or twice.. But i may be wrong.
Good job.
such a promising story, but the Japanese ruins it
5661637 do not worry. A remake is is currently being made...with no Japanese in it
5661648 thank god
5661812 yea...
5661819 never said it's a bad story, just the Japanese is hard to follow and understand
5661825 ..apologies..(grumbles)I knew I should've put in a translation for the japanese words
5662744 that would have been wise, I had to google half of them
5662753 Yea..if me and the person who helped me with this, KKD SIlver(on fanfic) accidently put in any japanese words, we'll put up translations for them
Pinkie and coffee are like fire and gasoline. That is the scariest thing I've ever thought of and I play Dead Space! It's scarier then that game at night!
5662769 I would avoid Japanese words all together
5662781 right then
I will keep an eye on this....I just hope that since you fucked Spike over, you got a plan to make him taken care of at least. You've made him of age at least, and it seems that Spike and Silver are decent friends, so there's no hatred in the long run, just disappointment and a broken heart. It just doesn't feel right to me to just figurately chop his balls off at the source without him informing him ahead of time that it just isn't gonna work out.
EDIT: I can see that probably it is gonna to be in the path of one of the CMCs with Spike (yet again *sigh*
), but considering the ages and who's fucking who, I should have seen that coming from at least a half-mile away. Fluttershy and Rarity are marefriends to Silver, Twilight and RD are a lezzie couple (surprise surprise---not) and we just need the status of the two remaining...
Oh, and personally, I like the Japanese scattered in the writings, but it would be more accesible if the words were at least explained. There are a lot that don't know Japanese, or at least has seen anime or other media in their respective sounding language, so a little glossary or sidenote would suffice.
5665940 do not worry. In the remake I have planned, it will have Sparity in it..along with Twidash and Silvershy(pairing between Fluttershy and my OC, Silver Hawk)...and I'll do my best to keep the Japanese out
5666924
I kinda feel like an asshole right now, with that being rewritten just to have Sparity in there, but more power to ya. I'm a huge supporter of it, but I also respect every single author's pairings, regardless of whether I like it or not.
(For the record, there are very few pairings I object to, it just has to be a bit plausible--in other words, have some logic to them, don't just put two people together and leave).. It was more of a overreaction on my part than anything else, so I sincerely apologize for that. And like I said, you don't have to remove the Japanese altogether, just simply define it.
5667469 ahh...i see
amazing story, I think it deserves a sequel
5672555 You sure? Because..well..
I'm kinda doing a remake of this
5673587 wow really? cool.
5675831 Yea...it maybe a while though
5676171 as long as it will be good it'll be worth it.
5676502 *nods*
5677226 lol
5678987 0-o...when someone uses a Pinkamena icon..that's a clear sign to get the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks out of here!*runs off in a blur*
5679441 Too late, your number has come up on Pinkamena's list
as well as Big Mac's 
cdn.meme.am/instances/18009491.jpg
Sounds like you should make a Clopfic of Spike and Applejack that takes place in this Fic. lol
5710673 Hmm...maybe...
does that give you an idea!? Some applebloomXspike? Or applejackXspike?
5776206 Possibly the latter
Red eyes Fluttershy? ( when she is horny )
Sucubus Flutterbat maybe??!!!!!!
This story going to be EPIC
Before I saw the rest of it, I thought "That is a hell of a foreshadowing tell if I ever saw one!" Then seeing that after his discovery with Rarity and his obvious disappointment and feelings of betrayal, I got to hand it to Applejack, who actually gave Spike a chance, and surprisingly to Spike also for gracefully taking his defeat to Silver Wing like a real man, even though in his mind he's sobbing like a baby. Still think Rarity should have told Spike earlier rather than letting him find out for himself. But at least Spike not completely left out to dry, and who knows? Maybe Applejack was the ideal mare for Spike all along but he was blinded by the beauty of Rarity, and it took blunt rejection (take your pick as to the reason) to shatter those rose-colored glasses and see what he really has.
That said, I'm still looking forward to the remake. But either way you come with it, It's a good work regardless.
'Cause fuck realism, right?
I will admit, not a huge fan of the lemon part(s) But I freaking love how you somehow combined 2 of me favorite things! Super Smash Bros. And MLP!
is there more to the story?
5966158 Well there's like 2-3 more side stories, but it'll probably be a while before I can post those