Discord's tooth, unknown to anypony, except for Fluttershy, has it's own chaotic powers, and it's gone! Princess Twilight, with a newly learned locator spell, believes she has found it, lost somewhere in time, and they have no way of getting it! Twilight then remembers that she knows two ponies who were perfect for the job, one madpony with a box and his companion, me, Brightly Litt. Twilight finds me, the only pony that can contact the Doctor and save the past and future from utter chaos and destuction. . .AGAIN. Follow along as me and the Time-pony travel back in time, only to find the tooth in the possession of a very screwy pony, Screwball.
(Perverted Bronies beware! Misleading content. DO NOT take inappropriately! [I did not realize the assumptions of perverted material in this story!])
Rated 'RANDOM' for Doctor Whooves moments! For your enjoyment!!
Ooh. Interesting! It's time for another adventure through space and time, then. ^_^
Hmm. I can hardly wait to see what happens in the next chapter!
However, I could make a few suggestions. For instance, this gave me the feel of a sequel story at first because Twilight Sparkle already knew Brightly Litt in the first chapter (and the second chapter is when we really begin to learn more about him). Perhaps if you included more of a personal introduction in the first chapter, it would help with clarity on that point. And for the second chapter, you might consider separating Brightly Litt's story of his introduction to the Doctor from the main text to help with readability--since it kind of digresses long enough from the current events to feel like its own tale--before coming back to what the mane six are doing in the Golden Oak Library.
I hope that helps!
It does, thank you. You must also know that, as it were, I'm new to this whole fimfic stuff, so it may be a little confusing, but I will continue to read the comments, and add to my story as it progresses, so stay with me and I'll get there soon. Again, thank you for reading it, I hope you enjoyed it (there's more to come, don't worry), and for sharing your opinion with me. I appreciate it!
Yours truly,
Brightly Litt
5618658 Welcome to FimFiction.net! It will be a pleasure to read more of your story, and to watch your progression as a writer as well. I really haven't been on FimFiction.net too long myself (a few months), but everyone is pretty friendly here. So please feel free to ask for any tips or advice.
Although, one piece of advice I can give now is this: when replying to someone's comment, you should click the box in the corner of their comment with the double arrows that face to the right, or this symbol ">>." That way, the person will get alerted that you've responded to what they have said. ^_^
5619345 Thanks! I didn't know that, although, I don't know if these #s are supposed to be there! And, I need to tell you that, without spoiling it, Ch. 3 will explain more and will continue with how my OC's story of how he met while still making sense. As for why my story is a bit rusty, I am only 15, and not very good with words, so, just stick with me. Okey Dokey Lokey?
Thanks!
-Brightly Litt
5622655 Oh. If we're talking about the same thing, the #s at the top left hand side of the comment boxes are supposed to be there. They show how many comments there are and the order in which they appeared on the page. Of course, whenever you're responding to someone's comment, a number that signifies them also appears alongside the ">>" symbol in the box in which you write the reply.
Okey Dokey Lokey! Part of the pleasure in being able to post stories on FimFiction.net (or any writing community site) is supposed to be getting better as a writer and being able to read many wonderful works. So I'll definitely make sure to stick with you and simply enjoy how your tale unfolds.
P.S. You're doing very well. ;3
Allons-y to Trottingham (nice use of A.D. as "After Discord," by the way)!
Ah, there's Screwball! And she's wearing Discord's tooth... ooh. The mystery deepens! Good job on describing her home, and I can hardly wait to see how you will depict her reactions about the fang. ^_^
5649007 Thanks, if you thought THAT was clever, I also thought of B.C.L., which stands for Before Celestia and Luna. It just came to me!!!
5657226 Ha! Wonderful!
Great chapter, and you're quite welcome! You did a great job of describing Screwball and how she interacts with others. She is fun to read. ^_^
good
Ooh. Very interesting, and Discord knew all along. Hah. ^0^ I guess one of the questions you have to answer at this point is what Screwball decided to do now after receiving Discord's tooth.
5756716 Be more specific, please. Good that I have a writer's block, or it was a good story/chapter?
Ah. But things will turn out well for Screwball in the future, so that’s nice—and she even got a bowtie of her very own. ^_^ That’s not too bad.
And the Doctor gets rewarded in the end. Wonderful! It’s spelled “Epilogue,” but the way.
Bravo! What a great starting story to place here on FimFiction.net. Thanks for a nice read. Now onto your next work. ;3
You have my intrest
7028314 Well, I'm glad! I hope you enjoy, because I really enjoyed writing this story. If you have any questions or comments while reading, please don't hesitate to ask!
Why do I have a feeling that we're dealing with Weeping Pegisi here?
7299222 I dunno
What about it makes you think it?