I followed Twilight into her castle's library, along with the other ponies and Discord, and then, Twilight said to the confused ponies and the one dumb-founded dracconequus,
"Listen up, do you ponies know of the local time-keeper Colt Smith?" They all nodded.
I knew where that was going.
"Well, that's not his name. His real name is the Doctor. Just the Doctor, and Brightly Litt here is one of his companions, his companion in time and space, that is."
Pinkie Pie let out a big gasp. "I knew it!" Then leaned toward Rarity and whispered,
"I really didn't, I just wanted to say that!" She smiled widely and we all just rolled our eyes. Twilight continued,
"Anyways, with the help of Brightly and the Doctor, they can go backwards or fowardwards in time to retrieve the tooth before it's too late! But first, in case you guys were wondering, I'll just let Brightly tell you how he knows the Doctor." Pinkie screamed,
"YAYYYY! FLASHBACK PARTY TIME!!!!!!!" I just looked at her, smiled, and started my story.
'It all started one beautiful, spring morning, and I was heading to my job at the Golden Oaks Library, not long before Twilight moved in, when I heard a noise from my left. Then, I got that feeling that I was being watched. I trotted over to the bushes to investigate, and right as I got close enough. . .POOF! A bunch of rabbits jumped on me, which didn't scare me, but nonetheless, unusual. What were these rabbits running away from? I wondered this all the way to the library, wherein I found a brown stallion with some kind of tool in his mouth, investigating the mail slot, apparently looking for something. But what was strangest of all was the big blue Pony Box he was standing near to. It wasn't until he turned around that I noticed that it was just Colt Smith, our local time-keeper. I walked up behind him, but he seemed to know I was coming, because he said,
"Good morning, Brightly. Say, have you had any infestations of any kind in the library?" I answered with,
"No, none too serious that I know of, why?" He tells me that his "screwdriver" was "picking up odd readings from inside the library." I didn't bother ask him what that meant, because, at the time, I didn't understand all that was around me, so I invited him inside.
He took out his "screwdriver" and went about the library, waving his tool over every bookshelf, often talking to himself. It got annoying after awhile because, his screwdriver makes a high-pitched whirring noise, which I was about to tell him to put away, but I thought better of it and asked instead,
"What was that blue Pony Box doing in front of the library, and, more importantly, how did it get there?" The Doctor wasted no time in explaining, like he rehearsed the lines,
"Oh, do you like it? I put it there, with some help from some mover ponies. I bought it from an antique shop in Hoofington, and it's so important to me, I never leave anywhere without it. It's quite beautiful out there, isn't it? It gives this town a bit of a rustic, old timey feel, don't you think?"
I agreed with him, and he went right back to his searching, when a small filly came in to look for a book on Alicorns for a research paper they were doing at the Ponyville Schoolhouse. I directed her to the shelves in the far corner, and said,
"Third shelf from the bottom. There's a step-ladder in the corner if you can't reach it." She thanked me and went to the shelves on Alicorn history, while the Doctor said something like,
"That's strange, it seems to be. . .moving."
It wasn't until about three or four minutes later, that, me and the Doctor both, heard the muffled screaming of the filly, who was being dragged by an incredibly small, yet strong, object, into the library's cellar. The object I saw looked similar to a spider, only, it looked as if it was made from some unknown Equestrian metal. Not knowing what else to do, nopony to call, or what in Ponyville I just experienced, I called upon the Doctor for help. I don't know why I did it, it just felt. . .right, and he jumped to his hooves, screamed,
"AH HAH! There you are, you little buggah! Now, come back here! Allons-y!" And he dove into the cellar.
I waited for about ten minutes upstairs, still shocked and confused. Then, I heard crashing, a whirring sound, and shouting. Then, silence fell upon the library, like somepony finally grasped the concept of a LIBRARY, but this silence was wrong. It was too. . .errie. I was relieved when the Doctor finally emerged from the cellar, along with the filly, with only a few bruises here and there. The Doctor said as he sat the filly down, saying,
"That leg should heal up soon, and don't forget what I told you about Alicorns, they really LOVE banannas, especially Celestia."
Then, when the filly thanked him and left, he looked at me and smiled that kind of smile you use when you just accomplished something big, and said,
"Well, crisis averted. Now, I really must be on my pony way. I'll get out of your mane. Consider yourself lucky, that thing could've done a lot worse if it was stronger."
Then, before I could thank him, he trotted out the door. Just a few seconds after he left, I followed him outside, and watched him enter his Pony Box, which in all reality, looked like it could only hold two ponies. I called the Doctor several times, each with no answer, so, after studying the box from the outside, I entered. THAT'S where it gets REALLY interesting.
As soon as I entered the box, I noticed that it was bigger on the inside as it was on the outside. He bought this at an antique shop! It was like a whole other world inside, yet it was just a small Pony Box. The Doctor saw me come in and said,
"I was wondering when you'd show up! Anyways, welcome to my T.A.R.D.I.S, that's Time And Relative Dimensions In Space, if you were wondering. Please, make yourself at home! Oh, by the way, in here, don't call me Colt Smith, that's just a psuedonym I use around Ponyville. My real name's the Doctor, just the Doctor."
He went on rambling for about three or so more minutes, while, all the time, my mind was fixated on the interior of this contraption, and on the words 'TIME AND SPACE'. When the Doctor finished speaking, I heard him say something like,
"And that's everything about my race, The Timeponies, and my old homeworld, Gallopfrey."
Those words snapped me back to reality.
"Excuse me, but did you just say 'planet' and 'race?' Because, if you did, and given we're in an impossible structure, are you an alien?" I asked.
He wasted no time saying yes, and told the story again, this time, though, I listened.
After he was done, I told him that I had always wanted to have adventures, go to places I've only read about in books, and that with this 'ship,' it will be possible! He then asked me if I wanted to join him, and that since it was a TIME machine, we could be gone and have traveled far out of this galaxy, and only have been gone a second. So, REALLY long story short, that's how I became the Doctor's companion.'
To be continued in Chapter 3
Hmm. I can hardly wait to see what happens in the next chapter!
However, I could make a few suggestions. For instance, this gave me the feel of a sequel story at first because Twilight Sparkle already knew Brightly Litt in the first chapter (and the second chapter is when we really begin to learn more about him). Perhaps if you included more of a personal introduction in the first chapter, it would help with clarity on that point. And for the second chapter, you might consider separating Brightly Litt's story of his introduction to the Doctor from the main text to help with readability--since it kind of digresses long enough from the current events to feel like its own tale--before coming back to what the mane six are doing in the Golden Oak Library.
I hope that helps!
It does, thank you. You must also know that, as it were, I'm new to this whole fimfic stuff, so it may be a little confusing, but I will continue to read the comments, and add to my story as it progresses, so stay with me and I'll get there soon. Again, thank you for reading it, I hope you enjoyed it (there's more to come, don't worry), and for sharing your opinion with me. I appreciate it!
Yours truly,
Brightly Litt
5618658 Welcome to FimFiction.net! It will be a pleasure to read more of your story, and to watch your progression as a writer as well. I really haven't been on FimFiction.net too long myself (a few months), but everyone is pretty friendly here. So please feel free to ask for any tips or advice.
Although, one piece of advice I can give now is this: when replying to someone's comment, you should click the box in the corner of their comment with the double arrows that face to the right, or this symbol ">>." That way, the person will get alerted that you've responded to what they have said. ^_^
5619345 Thanks! I didn't know that, although, I don't know if these #s are supposed to be there! And, I need to tell you that, without spoiling it, Ch. 3 will explain more and will continue with how my OC's story of how he met while still making sense. As for why my story is a bit rusty, I am only 15, and not very good with words, so, just stick with me. Okey Dokey Lokey?
Thanks!
-Brightly Litt
5622655 Oh. If we're talking about the same thing, the #s at the top left hand side of the comment boxes are supposed to be there. They show how many comments there are and the order in which they appeared on the page. Of course, whenever you're responding to someone's comment, a number that signifies them also appears alongside the ">>" symbol in the box in which you write the reply.
Okey Dokey Lokey! Part of the pleasure in being able to post stories on FimFiction.net (or any writing community site) is supposed to be getting better as a writer and being able to read many wonderful works. So I'll definitely make sure to stick with you and simply enjoy how your tale unfolds.
P.S. You're doing very well. ;3