A Journey Beyond Sanity

by Darkwing Dust

Chapter Twenty-One: Overreaction and Priorities

"Okay, I'm going to be totally honest here. I am not looking forward to this."

"We know." I heard an exasperated Spike respond from beside me. "You've said that for the third time now. Give it a break."

"Whatever gets my clear indifference across." I continued, looking out the window of the carriage attached to a train which was being pulled by western stallions. I have questions, but they're too minor of interest for me to ask.

Most likely, this train rise to that town we were going to and back will probably be the only thing I'll enjoy about the whole visit.

"Oh, it won't be that bad." Fluttershy called out in her quiet tone from the seat across mine and Spike's. "Applejack's relatives are usually nice ponies; I'm sure Braeburn is just as friendly."

The baby dragon then stated confidently. "I'm sure nothing bad will happen there."

Of course, I remained unconvinced. "Not for you, perhaps, but I am just not looking forward to being surrounded by a western town filled with western stereotypes."

Or sand, or rodeo's, or everyone screaming "Yee-haw!" at the top of their lungs.

"Well... look on the bright side, at least we'll be there with you."

"Oh yes, that brings tons of hope in me, Spike."

"Ha ha, very funny."

"Oh, are you not happy being with us, Stardust?"

"What?" I glanced to the right at the inquisitive yet sounding upset Fluttershy, who looked at me rather sadly. "I was being sarcastic, my dear. I will always find you all pleasant company... well most of you anyway..."

"Oh... okay." The yellow pegasus smiled at the reassurance. "Anyway, I can't wait to see Applejack put that apple tree in a new home. I'm sure Appleloosa will love the gift."

Ah yes. The entire reason we were even travelling to that town. A tree. A [BEEP]ing tree. Priorities was a very mixed thing in Equestria.

I sighed tiredly, rubbing my features. "Can't I just stay on the train during the whole visit?"

"But then you'll miss Applejack planting her tree."

"A tragedy for us all I'm sure."

"I can't believe it!" Everyone's attention then focused on the complaining white unicorn, entering from the back carriage of the train. Rarity was clearly fuming about something. "A whole carriage reserved for that tree! While I'm stuck here with the rest of you loud ponies, unable to obtain any of my much-needed beauty sleep."

"Yeah!" I snorted at Spike's agreeing tone, as the lizard leaned over the seat in front of us. "You deserve to sleep like a Princess, Rarity!"

"Settle down Romeo." I gently pulled the dragon back down on the seat.

"How is a pony such as myself suppose to rest while trapped in here with a crowd of other ponies?" Rarity continued her whining, sitting down next to an annoyed Twilight, who from my field of vision was occupied reading a book during the trip to the town. "A tree, I ask you!"

Tch. If anyone deserves a whole room on this transportation to their self, it should be me.

"Reading to it, covering it with a blanket, treating it like it was her own child..."

I repeat, priorities.

---

I don't understand how that dragon does it; sleeping in a room filled with female individuals without any hesitation.

A braver being than I, that's for certain. Upon hearing I was to share a room to sleep in with the Mane Six, I immediately resorted to finding a quiet spot so I wouldn't feel uncomfortable more than I already was. I mean really, I'll be damned before sharing a room with some females.

It's too un-gentleman of me otherwise.

So here I was, pacing around to contemplate about numerous things in the same room as that blasted tree. The same apple tree that was the source behind us all going to that town... I forgot what it was called. I would've stayed in Ponyville while they all went to visit the orange mare's relatives, but I was insisted by a damn purple unicorn and her pet to go with them so because apparently I "couldn't isolate myself in the library forever."

Sure I could. But, in the end, the thought of Celestia making another unannounced visit while the rest were out convinced me to come with them, in the end. I wasn't prepared to face that alicorn again, not yet anyway.

"Stardust?"

Hm? Speaking of a particular lizard.

"Oh, good evening Spike." I welcomed the dragon holding a pillow into the back room, raising a curious brow. "Something the matter?"

The obviously exhausted dragon snorted. "Yeah, none of the girls back there will be quiet. So I'm going to sleep in here for tonight." Oh, alright then. "Sorry if I snore too loudly."

"Don't be, you can't help yourself." I assured Spike as he placed the pillow next to the tree and took his rested spot. I'll probably block one minor noise anyway while in the midst of my own thoughts.

"Thanks... Stardust?"

"Yes Spike?"

"Why did you decide to come with us to Appleloosa?"

Why indeed...

"Reasons I feel that no one else should be concerned about, even you Spike."

"Oh, okay then..." The dragon said tiredly, already drifting into sleep. "Well, goodnight."

"Night... sleep well."

And in five seconds flat, the infant lizard was already, impressively, fast asleep, snoring louder than any snore I've ever heard. I blinked at how exactly tired he must have been. Were the girls causing that much of a ruckus? Now I'm ever more glad that I didn't bother sleeping in there. In fact I don't think I'll be sleeping at all tonight.

Resting in a moving method of transportation just doesn't work for me.

I sighed while turning my gaze to the outside moon, gleaming down at the train. Hm... I'm probably gonna need a lot of soda for this.

---

So we're all clear then. Celestia is probably my planning my arrest as we speak.

She must be. After my words of farewell to the monarch anyone would be decapitated for using such a word towards a royal ruler. Oh worse, the damn alicorn will most likely banish me to the moon, somehow filling me with oxygen there, for all eternity.

A fate worse than death.

Speaking of that kind of banishment, a thought occurred to me during my whole night staying up, drinking as much soda as I could to the following morning. Celestia knew, she knew, that Nightmare Moon would return during that day ages ago. But she took NO precautions, she warned no one about her insane sibling, and she probably didn't have a plan B in case that ludicrous idea involving her student and her friends didn't succeed.

There were no preparations for her sister's return. Nothing to use against the corrupted Luna except for pure luck on Twilight.

Ah yes, Twilight! How can I forget? The glorified alicorn manipulated her own student, I repeat, her STUDENT, into facing an all-powerful being of darkness with absolutely nothing to prepare Twilight with beforehand. And despite that, Twilight remains none the wiser over the fact she was tricked into facing Nightmare Moon, when Celestia could have easily handled the matter herself.

Bravo Celestia, you sack of dog[BEEP].

Now, it must be the soda, or this train was rumbling for whatever reason.

And I must have really drunk too much of the fizzy stuff that kept me awake all night, for the transportation was literally rocking back and forth, feeling as though something was clashing against the train.

Stumbling, I attempted to regain balance while moving along with the train, wincing as I impacted the sides. Ow... wait, what about Spike? Is he alright-?

Oh... oh never mind. Glancing to the side I noticed the oblivious lizard sleeping away despite the danger.

Hysterical.

Still, what the hell is even happening?!

Eventually the rocking ceased, thank Christ. But, perhaps to my dis-orientation, from the combination of exhaustion, energy from the amount of soda, and slight pain from hitting the walls, the ride seemed to be moving... slower.

Thankfully Spike was alright, still sound asleep as I walked up to him, inspecting his resting state for any bruises and such.

But still, what was even occurring? Was this ride currently under attack? Was it a natural occurrence, bumpy parts on the tracks? Were the stallions pulling the train finally exhausted and almost succumbed to sleep?

Okay, now this train was really slowing down... I guess it must be the last idea.

Wait, no, we're moving faster again... but in the opposite direction. Why were we going in reverse? Was there an obstacle or threat up ahead that forced the transport to move backwards?

"Help!" Oh, Spike's awake. I looked towards the dragon pleading for help against the window to the other carriage... wait a minute. "Stardust, get over here! We're being kidnapped!"

Hold the phone... "Come again...?" I asked tiredly, shaking my head roughly to dispel the unwelcome exhaustion.

"We're being taken by buffalo's!" Buffalo's? Slowly I moved forward to the window, to see that the coupling that was previously attached to the rest of the train was indeed detached.

And there were giant overgrown Wookiee's pushing the carriage down the tracks away from Twilight and the rest.

Huh...

And I didn't any more time to dwell on who these abductors were or what they wanted, as a sudden abrupt turn off the tracks had me fall back away from the window, collapsing into the sleep I held off for so long.

---

God. Damn. The. Sun.

"He's waking up... someone fetch some water."

Aside from the blasted light penetrating my exhausted eyes, a feminine voice, one I wasn't familiar with, ordered someone obviously close by. Immediately my hoof moved to rub my closed eyelids before slowly opening them, and quickly closing against as the full blinding light of the sun attacked my face.

God damn you Celestia...

Rolling to the side so I could wake up with the sun inflicting damage to my tired eyes, it took a moment for me to realize I was moving around in... dirt...

That had me completely open my eyes to see the many walking feet of animals I've never seen before.

What the hell was happening...? My mind struggled to replay what occurred a while back this morning. Let's see, I recall Spike announcing that we were being abducted by some buffalo's-...

Ah...

"Afternoon sir." That female voice greeted casually as I carefully stood up, finding myself within a campsite of huts and giant hairy animals that I assume were this world's version of buffalo's. And said animals were wearing those headbands attached with feathers, like they were tribesman...

...Are you [BEEP] kidding me?

I immediately tensed up as one of those many stereotypes pushed a bowl towards me, which contained seemingly pure water. What, did it expect me to drink from it? No thank you.

"It's quite okay, Mr. We don't poison our guests."

Alright, time to face this unknown being behind me. And what I saw next had my features contort in clear confusion, as before me was a hybrid-looking animal of a buffalo and a deer.

Is this what a baby buffalo looks like? If so, no wonder many of my kind eats them; it's putting them out of their misery.

Despite the look sent towards the nearby... thing, she pointed to the lying bowl still. "Please do drink. Your friend told us you always drink water after waking up."

My friend... Spike!

"Where is he?" I immediately demanded to know the location of the no-doubt frightened dragon. "I swear if any harm has come to him I'll-"

"Sir, please." The baby buffalo - I assume that's what she was - made a peaceful gesture, some of her brethren behind her tensing up. Oh, did they already consider me a threat towards them? Well that depends if they've done anything to the baby dragon. "Spike is okay; he's hanging out with some of my friends a distance away. You don't need to be agitated."

"'Hanging out'?" I scoffed. "After you and your brethren kidnapped us?"

"That was a mistake." You don't say? Yet I raised a brow as the small buffalo bowed rather humbly. "And I apologize on behalf of my tribe. We were only after the apple tree. We weren't aware you or Spike were in there."

...Oh.

"Okay then... I'll forgive you all, only if what you say is authenticated; I wish to see Spike for myself before deciding not to burn down this entire campsite."

It was an empty threat, but they didn't need to know that.

"Of course. We wouldn't want to anger the great Stardust Balance." Come again? She smiled, this time with an expression of nervousness. "Spike told us many things about you, good sir; about how you fought terrible beasts for the safety of your friends."

"I see..." Hm, I'm guessing he informed this tribe of buffalo stereotypes to make certain they wouldn't try to harm him or myself.

"Oh, Stardust, you're awake!"

The voice of the lizard immediately turned my head towards the approaching Spike, entering the campsite looking fine and everything. With him were... Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash...

...And I just woke up too.

---

"We have a long and winding stampeding trail we have run upon for many generations." The tallest mother-[BEEP] of a buffalo I've seen all day began sharing his tale. "My father stampeded upon these grounds, and his father before him, and his father before him, and his father before him-"

I took that moment to block out his story to dwell for a second, standing with the pink mare, blue pegasus and infant dragon across the fire.

So the reason they abducted the tree, and unintentionally us, was due to the fact the ponies in the nearby town have taken part of their stampeding grounds to plant their forest of apple trees. It certainly explains the motivation behind stealing one tree, and I speculate making a new trail for them to stomp across would quickly be rejected by the pride of this tribe.

"Hm. It is a sacred tradition to run the path every year." I see. "But this year these settler ponies... Appleloosans...!"

He made no effort to hide his disdain for them, and I can respect that.

The smaller buffalo - whose name I learnt earlier was Little Strongheart - calmed the chief down, continuing for him with a stern tone. "They planted apple trees all over it without asking our permission."

No wonder there's tension between the two species then. Ignorance.

"Well that's not very nice, right Rainbow Dash?" Said mare ignored the pink Earth Pony stubbornly, making me roll my eyes.

"The ponies refuse to move their trees! So we are stuck here and it is not fair!"

Yeah? Well life's never fair.

Still, I understand now what this was all about. And, to be fair on their part, these creatures had inhabited this land first, so what the settlers have done was evidently an insult to their eyes against their traditions and ancestors.

Rainbow Dash then announced it was time for them to move out and address this issue with that town's residents. I meanwhile waited for the meeting to finally end, as the blue pegasus, pink Earth Pony and dragon discussed with the baby buffalo and chief over their course of action. As the giant hairy creatures entered their tents to rest for tomorrow, somehow fitting within them, I quietly slipped away from the campsite to contemplate these events.

Pacing around in the sand I disgust so, thankful I didn't have nails at the moment, my thoughts wandered off to pondering about what might happen the following morning. Would there be peace? Would a fight break out between the two sentient species? Would both factions go to temporary war?

Well whatever happens, I find that it was little of my concern, really.

"You know, this is certainly alot more exciting than just planting a tree." I heard Spike comment, who was walking towards me with a smile. "I mean, I honestly thought it was going to be boring just like you did. But this was an eventful day, wasn't it?"

"I wouldn't know; I was asleep during the majority of it." I shrugged casually.

"Oh, well that's true." He chuckled while joining me on the field a short distance from the site. "So, what do you think?"

"About the whole ordeal? I think it's a whole giant culture misunderstanding." I replied, finding my vision looking forward to the expanded dusty landscape. My first ever experience being in the middle of a desert... not quite as problematic as I would expect.

"I'll say." The small lizard concurred while standing to my right. "You think everything will be okay tomorrow?"

"Undoubtedly." I responded without hesitation. Of course everything will be sorted; there won't be any long-lasting battle between the two races. The show wouldn't allow it.

"Yeah, especially with you around. I mean, with your negotiation skills you used against those Diamond Dogs-"

Now this was the part of the conversation where we disagreed. "I won't be partaking in this event, Spike." I cut him off, glancing at the surprised dragon. "This isn't any of my business."

"Huh?"

"You heard me, my friend; this is a dispute between two entirely different sentient races, and I belong to neither." I explained calmly as Spike listened attentively. "And I am no ambassador. What happens here must be sorted out by both species."

I wasn't a diplomat. It wasn't in my right to be the voice for any of the two animal species. It would imply favourtism. And while no one around here but Spike knew the truth of my origins, it would set a bad example to the infant lizard with picking sides with two entirely different animals than my own.

Was I making excuses here? Probably.

"...Huh. I guess you have a point. But, it wouldn't hurt to at least give some advice to either side, right?" Spike inquired with an idea.

I smirked, chiding the youthful lizard. "I could, but with the stubbornness these species both have I doubt either would heed my words." My eyes then focused on the thoughtful Spike, who was rubbing his own chin as I continued. "I'm not a pony, and I'm certainly not a buffalo, it would be rather prejudiced of me to pick a side between two entirely different races, no?"

Yet before Spike could suggest another idea, a female voice called out in confusion. "What do you mean you're not a pony?"

Ah [BEEP]!

Slowly our tensed heads looked over to the three girls joining us; Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Little Strongheart, the former asking the question with narrowed eyes. "You are a pony... aren't you?"

Great... just bloody fantastic.

"Uh, of course he is!" Spike, ever the life-saver, jumped in before I attempted to conjure up an excuse. "He means he's not a western pony, so he can't help either side tomorrow."

"Is that so...?"

I frowned at Rainbow Dash's suspicious tone. As if she didn't make it clear enough a while back she was wary about me. Pinkie Pie looked back and forth between her and us while Strongheart observed with intrigue.

"Indeed." I replied confidently. "I just think such matters should be solved with the inhabitants and settlers themselves, without outside interference."

"That was close." The not-subtle-at-all Spike whispered to me.

"Oh, so you won't be helping us?" The small buffalo queried, with a tone of clear disappointment alongside her features.

I shook my head in finality. "Unless any of my frie- acquaintances get hurt, then I won't be partaking in the negotiations."

"I see..."

Rainbow Dash snorted, turning around to return to the campsite. "Whatever. I'll be helping these buffalo's out anyway."

"My heart goes out to them." My glare matched her own against my retort, before the mare scoffed and left us.

"Aw, now don't be like that you guys!" My annoyed stare then focused on Pinkie Pie, who remained oblivious to it. "We need to be absolutely positive and helpful tomorrow if we want to help settle peace! I'm going to bed so I can be fully awake tomorrow to help everypony - or every-buffalo - out. Goodnight guys, don't let the Parasprites bite!"

"Have fun doing that, Pinkie." I said with a dull tone as the beaming pony hopped away back to the campsite.

The buffalo chose that moment then to walk closer towards Spike and I, her expression that of sadness. "I'm sorry if we gave you such a bad impression as to not help us, Mr. Balance."

"Hardly, my dear." I quickly responded, having no desire for any misunderstandings between us. "It would just be prejudiced of me to play a part in this event. No, it's better if I remain an observer."

"But I don't understand." Strongheart said in confusion, frowning thoughtfully. "Even if you're not one of the settlers, you're still a pony. Forgive me for asking, but do you not like your own kind or something?"

"Well... I'm not fond of stereotypes, I'll say that." Which would make things more complicated, considering the fact one-dimensional characters had mainly narrow-minded ways of thinking. Western ponies and Indian buffalo's?

Yeah, I'm sure things will go pleasantly tomorrow.

I know I know, I told the lizard next to me things will go fine, but I doubt they will the following day exactly. Probably the day after or so, should Twilight and the others interfere with this dispute.

"You don't seem to like that pegasus."

"Rainbow Dash and I... don't get along well." I simply responded. "As I said, should any of the ponies who came here with me, and Spike, get in any kind of danger should the proceedings the next morning go unpleasant, then I will intervene."

"...Very well." She nodded, seeming to accept that fact. "We cannot force you to speak on our behalf, and I appreciate that your wariness over possibly making things turn sour tomorrow. I shall see you in the morning, Mr. Balance."

"Goodnight, Miss. Strongheart."

"Sorry about that, Stardust." Spike proceeded to apologize as the female buffalo departed to her tribe. "I didn't expect the others to follow me."

"It's alright Spike." I assured him with a small smile, patting the dragon's head despite his irritation of it. "Though I think you should be getting some rest too. I doubt Twilight would like you staying up late."

And talk about timing. The dragon suddenly yawned and stretched his small limbs. "Yeah. You going to sleep too?"

In one of those tents? I'd rather sleep on the dirt than share a room with those filthy animals. True I'll need a shower the next day, but I won't rick becoming a pancake if one of those things decided to roll over.

Priorities, my friends.

"I'll join you all later. Sleep well Spike."

"Okay, goodnight... and Stardust?"

"Hm?"

"Did you almost call Twilight and the rest your friends?"

"Go to sleep Spike."

---

"I told you so."

"I know."

"I told you so."

"I know." Rainbow Dash had the guts to sneer at me through gritted teeth, "I'd like to see you do better."

"I probably would've, after that heinous performance by that pony-" I nodded to a running around Pinkie Pie, "- anyone would have settled the whole matter much better."

"Instead of saying 'I told you so', Stardust, you could help think of a solution to help stop the upcoming battle tomorrow."

"...Nah, I'll continue saying 'I told you so' because it fills me with pure bliss over how right I was."

"Right... so what are we suppose to do now? Those buffalo's are too darn stubborn!"

"Irony."

"Will you be quiet, Stardust?"

"Make me, Sonic, or should I now point out this is entirely your and Applejack's fault?"

"Huh? How is this OUR fault?" The pegasus gestured wildly to the campsite preparing for war. "Oh, never mind anyway! I'm going to talk to the chief; maybe I can convince not to go to battle tomorrow."

"Good luck with that." I rolled my eyes at her glare while the blue pegasus stormed off.

I warned them. Outside interference incited disaster. This was a dispute to be settled by the western stereotypes and Indian stereotypes. But no, Rainbow Dash and Applejack kept butting in before the two representatives could even discuss the problems with each other. Rainbow Dash I understood, but Applejack? I thought that orange mare had more sense in her.

That Earth Pony was slowly growing onto my dislike list.

And Pinkie Pie's display. Ugh, don't allow me to begin on how horrible that was. I almost gorged my eyes out when she started singing.

In the end, nothing was resolved. All thanks to Rainbow Dash and Applejack.

I sighed tiredly, rubbing my pony-form forehead. I should've just stayed at the library; sod the worrying over any potential visit from Celestia. I could be enjoying myself with those gifts from my Birthday. But no, against my better judgement I had decided to accompany the Mane Six and Spike to Appleloosa.

I regretted it immediately upon noticing sand outside the train.

My wide eyes lingered on the camp. It's not as if I didn't want to help, but I was a man of philosophy. Of balance. I don't pick sides, I just make certain neither emerges triumphant. If the buffalo's succeed, the trail trodden upon by their ancestors is theirs again. If the ponies win... well who knows?

But there was nothing I could do. I can't stop an entire war; that inexplicable strength couldn't possibly take on an entire army from both sides.

And I did tell these animals I wouldn't be joining unless those I arrived with were hurt-

Oh... oh no...

I am such a [BEEP] idiot! If this war occurs, they WILL get hurt! Many of both sides will suffer from long-lasting injuries - I doubt to the point of death - and I will regret allowing this battle to happen because of my idealistic arrogance. Despite my empty love for stereotypes, they were still living beings who are going to battle over a mere misunderstanding because of that damn pegasus!

No... I can't let that happen.

I must think of a plan before the morning. One that wouldn't involve any of the others; in case this idea backfires and results in injuries against any of them.

If this works, God loves me.

If not, then God help me.

Thankfully, one such plan was already being spun from the web of my mind...

---

Everything was in place.

Far from average eyesight of either side, I waited, taking note of the buffalo army assembling at the top of the cliff overlooking the town, predicting where they would station themselves before attacking.

I'm half-expecting Strongheart to suddenly go Pocahontas on our arses.

Savages. Savages. Barely even pony... heheh.

"God I'm tired..."

As the ponies had rested themselves for the battle in the morning, I snuck around the previous night, inspecting exactly what they were planning for this battle. And as I anticipated; they were going on the defensive.

But those defenses didn't look remotely practical, so they obviously stand no chance against a head-on charge from their opposing force.

I took my spot at the side, ready to begin my plan that will force both side to cease this pointless war and listen to the only rational person on this damn land. Aside from Twilight, but I doubt she'll help in any way here.

No, it was time for a human's touch.

Today, I get my priorities fully sorted.

The over-puffed Wookiees looked ready to begin their assault, and I prepared my hind legs to charge forward in-between the opposing armies.

No one is going to get hurt... not on my watch.

The bell of the clock tower chimed.

What was I going to do, dress in all cowboy attire and step into the middle of the battlefield with a toothpick in my mouth? Oh no, nothing that absurd.

Something much more ridiculous.

My hooves were gripping the ground, and I only just noticed that. Huh, I must really be tensed for this... as there was a fifty-fifty I might possibly break a few bones doing this.

Well, you know what they say...

The dancing and singing of Pinkie Pie unintentionally signaled the herd to begin their charging assault.

"Hakuna Matata!"

I yelled out my own war cry while my hooves pushed forward than they would ever push themselves before. After drinking a whole gallon of water I was well-prepared for this, stopping by the shaking Pinkie Pie who was attired as a bar waitress performer.

"STOPPPPP!"

I practically screamed as much as I could while running into the middle between the two forces, raising both my front hooves upwards and pointing at both sides with vigour.

"THERE. WILL. BE. NO. WAR. HERE!"

My eyes glared ahead firmly at the wide-eyed expressions of the charging buffalo's, who were slowly ceasing their attack at my excruciatingly loud command. Beside me I heard Pinkie Pie gasp in shock and relief that my yell was actually halting the damn beasts.

Good, they weren't beyond reasoning...

Eventually the beasts managed to make a complete stop only feet way, all eyes on us with suspicion reflected among their enraged expressions. And I could guess why.

"Pinkie Pie." I whispered to the mare beside me, knowing she was listening despite the circumstances. "Go to Twilight and the rest; and tell them not to intervene at all times."

"Okay dokey." I refrained from rolling my eyes as the obliging Earth Pony returned to the town behind me, keeping my eyes on the irritated tribe.

As I lowered my widened hooves back on the ground, the chief took that as a sign to approach personally, accompanied only by the curious and looking slightly relieved Strongheart. "You?" He began in that deep voice, menacing eyes meeting my own as his mere foot would be enough to crush me. "You dare to stop us from banishing these settlers away?"

"I do." I responded without hesitation.

"Stardust, what are you doing here? Don't you realize-?"

"I shall do the talking here, Strongheart. Who are you, pony, to try and stop us?"

I had prepared fully for this.

Taking another deep breath, already feeling utterly exhausted, I replied without a care in the world. "My name is Jack Wright, a human being from the planet Earth. And I am here to tell you what you are doing is a massive error of judgement."

That seemed to shock them enough to hear me out.

"You." I pointed to Strongheart. "Come closer." As she hesitantly obliged I looked behind me and pointed to the cowboy pony observing us with the rest of the townsfolk, gesturing him to approach as well. And waiting for him to grow a pair and walk near us, I turned back and addressed the leader of the tribe. "This battle ends before it even begins, chief. I'm in a rather cranky mood right now, and I always wondered what pony and buffalo meat tasted like."

Three nights without sleep. Damn right I'm cranky.

"You dare-!"

"Shut the hell up!" The chief quickly obliged, and noticing the moustache-wearing stallion joining the cowboy towards us, I released a snarl of finality. "And you can [BEEP] off, Sheriff. This is a dispute that's going to be solved without any comments from the likes of you."

The badge-wearing pony seemed to have something to say about that, but the yellow Earth Pony cut him off calmly. "I'll be fine Sheriff, wait with the others." The reluctant pony eventually did as told - good boy - and retreated, leaving his friend with us. "Alright, what's going on?"

In answer, I beckoned him - I honestly can't recall his name - to approach closer, and as he did I began when the buffalo and Earth Pony were in close vicinity. "Now, this war ends. I will not allow violence to break and unnecessarily hurt anyone here. I want you two, as representatives of your tribe and town, to discuss these issues about the orchid and the trail, without anyone else speaking on your behalf. As an unbiased ambassador, I will make sure this morning concludes in peace between both your species."

"I don't know." The small buffalo rubbed the back of her head nervously. "I mean after yesterday, is peace even possible? I want it to but-"

"I want peace too." The stallion interjected sternly. "Me and the rest of Appleloosa. We don't want to declare war against your kind."

"Me too... I guess we're all pretty stubborn huh?"

"I guess so..."

"So you see?" I waited a moment when the two were finished, raising a hoof when the tall mother-[BEEP] of a buffalo opened his mouth to pitch in. "In the end we all want the same thing, a peaceful solution over an awful tragedy. So, do you think you two can talk things over, and reach a compromise we will all be satisfied with?"

Of course they can. Otherwise I'll make them find a solution.

"Oh... of course we can, can't we?"

"Yes." Strongheart replied with a bright smile similar to the stallion's own. "In fact, let's deal with this, right here, right now."

"Alright!"

I nodded, internally grateful. "Excellent. Now if you two will excuse me, sleep is catching up to me..."

My last words before the complete exhaustion of my running, exertion of breath and three nights without proper sleep had me succumb to unconsciousness.

---

Whatever surreal dream I was experiencing was rudely interrupted by some rough poking against my backside.

"Stardust... you awake yet?"

"Not yet Cerys..." I mumbled tiredly to the ever-pestering girl, wishing she would cease poking me like that, and straight afterwards my wish was granted. She probably wanted me to get up via mum's orders.

"Er, who's Cerys?"

"You you little-" Wait a minute... that sounded nothing like my little sibling. Slowly rolling over, my blinking eyes locked sight with a familiar infant dragon who was observing me with curiosity. "Oh, morning Spike..."

"It's evening."

"Oh..." It is...? "Well good evening then... did I miss anything?" I inquired before yawning widely, this looking around and realizing I was within the sleeping compartment of the train.

"Oh not much." Spike began while I stretched my stiff limbs, shrugging. "Other than the fact the buffalo's and settlers finally got along."

Buffalo's and settlers... ah.

Ahh...

"Thank God." I breathed out in relief, raising myself off the bed while Spike backed away to provide room, munching on those turquoise gems handed to him by the buffalo's. I don't know about him but I was feeling quite refreshed. "I was afraid the results were otherwise."

"Nope. After you fell unconscious, Braeburn and Strongheart managed to get the two sides to get along after reaching a compromise; trees planted on the trail taken off, and in return the buffalo's would help them pick off the apples. Sounds fair doesn't it?"

"...Meh." I shrugged. "I've heard of worse deals."

The dragon rolled his eyes. "Of course you would be unimpressed. But still, everyone got along and no one got hurt. Isn't that great?"

I nodded. "Yes, yes it is my small reptilian friend." And I meant that. No one got hurt, and I wouldn't have a guilty concise for not interfering.

My plan worked, just like it did with the Diamond Dogs.

"All thanks to you Stardust."

My response was automatic. "Me? Bah. I didn't do anything-"

"Yes you did." I raised a brow at the cut off from Spike, who pointed at me seriously. "You stopped an entire battle and convinced them to make a deal. So don't you dare pretend you didn't do anything like you did in the caves. You're a hero."

"I'm no hero-"

"Though what I wanna know is what you said to the buffalo's that kept them from continuing their attack on the town."

Just as I opened my muzzle to answer, and chide Spike for his repetitive interruptions, another voice interjected. God dammit! "Yeah Stardust, what did you say that stopped them from attacking Appleloosa?"

"Nothing of consequence now, Sonic." I replied calmly to the frowning Rainbow Dash, followed by the others into the carriage but a missing Applejack. Must be saying her final goodbye to her relative. "And if you're going to keep asking I'll-"

"Actually, I just wanted to say... thank you."

...Huh?

"And I'm sorry for almost getting anyone hurt by speaking on the behalf of the buffalo's."

...What now?

It took a moment before I could fully process what was being said, directed to my sole direction. "You're... thanking me, and apologizing to me... at once?"

The blue pegasus raised an annoyed brow, quickly shifting from that apologetic expression. "Yeah...? Is that so hard to believe?"

"...Kinda very, yeah..."

The blue mare huffed, turning around to exit the compartment. "Whatever, I'm gonna go see if Strongheart's still outside before we go."

"...Rainbow Dash."

"What?"

"You're welcome, and I forgive you."

I shrugged at her inquisitive expression, before she shrugged in turn, obviously trying not to show she was touched by the gesture, and left to the next room. Well that was certainly bizarre.

"With that out of the way." Twilight began as she walked towards Spike and I with the rest, all smiling at me for some reason. "I'm proud of you, Stardust, for preventing a fight breaking this morning. You succeeded where we failed. The town wanted to throw you a party in gratitude, but I think we know what'd you say to that." They chuckled while I smirked.

"Yeah, how you stopped the herd like that was incredible!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed. "It even shocked me!"

"Indeed. That was a rather bold display you pulled." Rarity added, clearly impressed.

"Oh, and you were so brave when facing that giant buffalo like that." Fluttershy complimented with a shy smile.

Despite the unnecessary praise, I shrugged again. "I just didn't want anyone to get hurt. Not under my watch."

"We all didn't." Twilight said. "And we can't thank you enough for settling peace between the two."

"Hey, they made the deal."

"You are far too humble dear." Rarity giggled in that classy tone of hers. "But still we remain curious; how did you manage to make the buffalo's see reason?"

Hm, what to say...? Speaking of which, for now I can only hope those overgrown furballs will keep their mouths shut.

"Well I didn't really." I responded honestly. They blinked in confusion at the answer. "I just said some things that thankfully distracted them long enough for that yellow Earth Pony to come along-"

"His name's Braeburn."

"That's nice." Okay these constant interruptions was just becoming irritating. "Enough for Braeburn to approach and settle a treaty between him and Strongheart, as representatives of their races."

"Okay, but what did you say exactly?" Rarity inquired.

"...I forget." It's so simple and easy to lie. "But it doesn't really matter now, does it my dear?"

---

"Stardust Stardust Stardust!"

"What what what?!" I asked in turn from the dragon's urgency, as Spike rushed into my room in a panicked pace, removing my attention from the apple pie given to me as a gift from the western stereotypes. "Is everything alright?"

He exhaled before answering. "Yep." Resulting in my annoyed frown while he held up a scroll straight afterwards. "Letter for you."

And considering the royal knot surrounding the paper, I had only one reaction: "Oh God..."

Too young to understand not to stick his nose in anyone's business, Spike stuck around as I un-rolled the letter, reading the contents. My frown deepened with reading every paragraph.

Dear Stardust Balance,

I trust all is well with you, considering your recent activities since we last spoke involving some Diamond Dogs, your Birthday and the recent events in the settling town of Appleloosa. I must thank you on behalf of Canterlot for assisting in the former and latter crisis's, as my dearest student Twilight informed me of the hoof you played in.

In addition, I write this letter to inform you of the news, if my dear pupil has not already, I will be visiting Ponyville in a few days to see how well things are doing in the town. The main purpose behind this letter is in hopes afterwards you and I will have a quiet meeting together to discuss some events.

I understand if you are reluctant to oblige, for our last conversation was less than pleasant. But I am not one to hold grudges, and I can understand how angry you were over my rather exaggerated accusations; which I realized was a mistake, and henceforth apologize for it. You must know I have no desire to make an enemy out of you; especially with the fact my dearest student and beloved sister value you highly.

If you still wish to reject the meeting, I understand. Send a return letter as soon as possible should that be the case, then. But I sincerely hope you can at least find in you to forgive me; I cherish Twilight very much, and I would not want to see her hurt.

If not, then we shall speak in four days the following evening. I look forward to it. Princess Luna and Shining Armor send their greetings.

With warm regards,

- Princess Celestia.

"So? What did the Princess say?"

"...You know what Spike? In future, I should probably consider taking my priorities more seriously."

Comments

[Snow]

So... I was thinking on the censorship and thinking to myself 'Good god, what would happen if Stardust broke out Carlin's incomplete list of impolite words in front of Celestia?!

http://www.ijmc.com/archives/1995/October/17October1995.html If you're wondering. Fair warning, it's very difficult to find a more complete collection of not nice things in one place.

[Titan Commander Sebaste]

Any more beeps and Stardust is gonna turn into a car!

[Lunar Pitch]

7535800 KITT but with Stardust attitude. PERFECT
OH SILLY BILLY

Ahh Pinkie!!!!!

[silvadel]

My guess is Celestia's spell doesn't affect her and she heard perfectly well exactly what he said.

[Icy Creation]

Savages. Savages. Barely even pony... heheh.

I don't even.

[Emperor Draxgaroth]

7754934
now THAT is something l would love to see