A Journey Beyond Sanity

by Darkwing Dust

Chapter Thirty-Four: Of Tortoises and Chess

"-And that's the monarchy of my world to this day." I concluded, giving myself time to breathe as the knowledge-hungry unicorn wrote down today's information provided this morning. "As far as I'm aware of, anyway." I added rather sheepishly.

A light smile, sounding as pleased as she looked while looking at the written parchment. "And your country's Queen still rules with a firm grip, despite your government holding more power?"

I nodded, smirking a little. "I wouldn't say 'firm' exactly, but yes, she's still ruling the monarchy despite nearing the age of a hundred. That's one tough old bird." I suppose my country has been blessed to have a royal who is very close to the end of the average human life span, and is still calling the shots.

Twilight must of caught the admiration in my tone, as she looked away from her work desk. "Sounds like a fair monarchy." I shrugged. Wouldn't know; never met the woman. The mare continued with evident satisfaction, the quill being placed down and paper floating upwards. "Thanks again for this information, Stardust."

Despite the gratitude, I rolled my eyes in exasperation. "Twilight, you've been thanking me about our sessions together since the beginning. You don't need to keep doing so."

It's been what now, three months? Three months with the majority inside the library acting like a human - or pony - Wikipedia to the curious unicorn. An incomplete Wikipedia at that. Every morning we either continue an unfinished discussion we had the previous day, or start a new one; all in relation to my species and home planet.

How this mare hasn't grown weary of this routine of ours yet is beyond me. It's certainly starting to get to me...

Before Twilight could reply, however, our attention turned to the front door being knocked on. Spike, ever the helpful assistant, and who was standing in the corner playing with his own toy ball, was quick to answer the door. "Oh, hey girls."

True enough, four of the Mane Six stood before the dragon. Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie respectively. And accompanying them seemed to be their... pets; all barely a centimeter from entering the library.

Oh boy.

"Good afternoon girls." Twilight called out, the parchment vanishing in a flash, most likely reappearing in the basement. "Just let me go get Owlicious and we'll depart shortly."

Ah, right. Twilight and the others were going to the park to play with their pets. Which means some time for myself to relax. As the unicorn departed to get the owl in question, I raised a cautious brow of the animals entering the house. Rarity, obviously noting my apprehension, smiled reassuringly. "Do not fret, darling; none of our small friends here will touch any of the books."

"Angel would never harm any of the books, right Angel?" The tiny white bunny nodded enthusiastically, unfazed by my wary stare.

Applejack chuckled, petting her ecstatic dog. "I'm sure Twilight appreciates someone else lookin' after her books as well."

"Indeed I am." The purple studious mare responded, as we turned to find the pet owl on her back. "Owlicious was just napping."

"And you woke him up? Poor Nightshade." I internally smiled by the look sent my way.

"I'd also appreciate it, Stardust, if you referred to him as Owlicious."

"And cause an additional blow to the poor bird's dignity? I'm calling him Nightshade, love."

"His name is Owlicious-"

"Not to me-"

"His real name is more fitting-"

"Implying you're going to eat him-"

But our playful argument was then interrupted by the amusement of a white unicorn. "As much as I have no desire to interject, but I believe our pets are getting rather impatient." My eyes glanced at the orange Earth Pony's dog beginning to circle around, clearly eager to depart. "Are you ready, Twilight?"

"Absolutely." Twilight replied happily, clearly showing that heated discussion between us was just a pastime of ours now. I enjoyed them probably more than she did. I gave the mare a farewell smile, which she replied in turn, before departing with the others. Now that just left me, and...

"...You're not going with them?"

Spike shook his head, still playing with that ball of his. "Nah, I don't have a pet." ...No comment. Catching the toy, he pointed at it with a playful smile. "Wanna play?"

...Well, I don't think I'll get any relaxation with you bouncing that brown thing all over the place. So why not? I shrugged. "Hey, if they're having fun, why can't we?"

---

Informing the dragon earlier that playing with the ball inside wasn't the greatest of ideas, the game began in front of the tree-house. A simple game of bouncing the ball back and forth towards each other before I inevitably win.

Nearly missing the next throw, Spike managed to return the ball in time while sighing in relief. "You know you don't have to hit it so fast, right?"

"How else will I achieve victory, my friend?" I asked jokingly, reflecting the object with my front hoof. The ball in question was similar of that one in the game app. So many references not to other franchises it seems, but to itself as well.

The game went on for another few minutes, before Spike spoke out again, this time his tone changing a little while hitting the ball back. "You know what, Stardust?"

"Hm?"

"You've changed a little."

I frowned, wondering what the lizard was referring to, as I passed the light brown ball back. "How do you mean?"

"Well, ever since you first lived with us in Ponyville, you've been a very grumpy, annoyed pony who didn't enjoy playing with others. And you still kinda are." Spike added, shrugging as my frown deepened. Where was he going with this? "But now... I don't know; you've been alot more... carefree, and happy now."

"I hold you, Twilight and our friends responsible for that." I answered casually. "Your damn soft-heartedness has gotten to me. I'm infected with... friendship."

He smiled at the mock-blanching. "Well at least you haven't totally changed." Spike noted while passing back the bouncing object. "But still, you're not as rude and disdainful as you use to be."

"He's right you know."

The sudden unexpected voice caused us to look to the side, distracting me as the ball impacted the left side of my face before bouncing off. Not that it hurt, but I still had to close my eyes for a moment to restrain my irritation, before opening them to see Bon Bon and Lyra themselves.

"Apologies for intruding, but our young friend here brings up a valid point." The former continued, pointing out rather pleasantly. "When you visited both Lyra and I since your return to Ponyville, even we knew that was something different about you. I guess we now know what that is."

Lyra nodded happily, approaching without a care in the world. "Yep! We knew you never visit anyone without a reason, so we guessed something happened to you. And it did; you've finally acknowledged us all as friends!"

...Huh.

"See? Even they know you've changed since coming to Ponyville." Spike said next, sounding pleased by the support from the two mares over his point. "I guess friendship affects everyone."

"I guess so..." I said quietly. "Was I really that insufferable to interact with?"

"Yes."

"Lyra."

"Oh, sorry, not that insufferable."

Bon Bon shook her head. "What my friend here means is, you were quite possibly the most difficult pony to befriend we've ever met. Never in Ponyville had we had a pony like you, so it baffled us quite a bit."

"Well, there is no pony like me." And not in the way you think, my dear. I traded a knowing glance with Spike, who snickered.

"Ain't that the truth?" Lyra snorted in agreement.

"You might just be more well-mannered than Lyra at this point." The lime unicorn in question threw her friend a confused look. But the cream Earth Pony kept humoured her attention on me. "Now then, don't let us occupy your time any longer. Come along Lyra. Good day Stardust, Spike." The more enthusiastic of the two nodded and waved in farewell.

...So, I was becoming more and more friendly to these ponies - and Spike - then? Was I really that trying to the citizens of the town? So frustrating? I mean, if that's the case, it wasn't intentional. I was just reluctant to make friends with anyone in Equestria, that's all. There was no desire on my part to infuriate anyone here because of what I say or conduct... except for Twilight; I rather enjoy frustrating her to no end.

As I saw, from the corner of my large eye, Spike pick up the almost-forgotten ball, a thought occurred to me; combined from the thought of the unicorn and playing a game.

"Spike?"

"Yeah?"

"There wouldn't happen to be a chess set lying around in the library, would there?"

---

The tortoise.

It's going to be the [BEEP] tortoise, I swear to God.

What am I talking about you ask? Well today it seems our dear ripoff Rainbow the Pegasus suddenly desired her own pet. Twilight explained the situation as we were heading to the Ghastly Gorge; where all the potential animals were going to race to the fast blue mare to see who earns her affection.

The contestants: a hummingbird, butterfly, wasp, tropical bird, duck, eagle, owl, falcon, flamingo, bat and tortoise. One of these things is not like the other. Who could possibly win the love and care of our egotistical grandiose pegasus?

Already they had competed in a series of tests of speed, agility followed by resilience, then style and coolness, awesomeness and radicalness.

The last which had me baffled. "Aren't those-"

"-The same thing? I expressed those exact thoughts to Rainbow Dash."

Now, the final contestants were the eagle, falcon, owl, bat and tortoise. And I think I know who's gonna win against the arrogant pegasus. I mean come on, it's so obvious and ludicrous it has to happen. I already made a bet with the dragon in front of me over the slow reptile winning Rainbow Dash's love.

Though I was worried, however, over the race itself. The valley named Ghastly Gorge, which I'm sure wasn't called that just to sound unnerving, was described by Twilight to be quite dangerous; a valley filled with significant dangers such as thorns and eel monsters lurking in the walls.

My brother would love it.

Obviously noticing my concern, the purple mare was quick to assure me that the animals, and Rainbow Dash, wouldn't get harmed as long as they were careful.

...Not very reassuring.

The race had began a short while ago, and we were already awaiting the participants at the finish line at the other end of the valley. As Twilight and the mare's eagerly awaited their friend's arrival along with the victor, I was playing a very strategic game with Spike.

"You know, my dad's girlfriend has a pet tortoise." I casually stated, moving another knight forward in my frontal assault. The dragon was no tactical genius, so I had this in the bag from the beginning.

Spike seemed to look down thoughtfully before replying, "'Girlfriend'?"

I slightly frowned as his white pawn advanced. Was not a term used in this world? "You know... life partner? Special someone?"

"I know what a girlfriend is." Spike rolled his eyes, "But we mostly call our grilfriends or boyfriends special someponies."

I scoffed at the term, rightfully so. "That's what you call them here?" I swiftly moved my rook, taking out another of his remaining pawns. At his sound of annoyance, I smirked lightly. "Now, temper temper Spike."

"What I don't get-" The dragon moved back a knight, evidently to protect his near-vulnerable queen. "- Is why you think that tortoise is going to win Rainbow's affection."

"Simple." I explained while regarding the board in planning my next move. "If there's anything I know about your wor- town, Spike, it's that it borders on positive absurdity. That tortoise will win her heart, and I'll win twenty bits."

I've speculated a while back that this was an episode I was in the middle of, and I never recall Rainbow Dash ever having a pet. So it wouldn't shock me if the tortoise won.

After all, one of these things is not like the other. In a world like this' logic, the unusual participant will always be the victor.

A few movements and removals later, Nightshade, observing the game, let out his animal noise. "Hoo."

"Damn straight Nightshade." I placed my king beside my opponent's queen. "Checkmate."

Spike blinked in disbelief, before shaking his head. "I can't believe I lost against you that quick."

I shrugged. "Chess is a favourite of mine." A favourite competitive game aside from Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh. "Would you believe me If I claimed I bested Celestia once with this game?"

"Wait, you defeated Princess Celestia at chess?" Ah yes, just mention the monarch and you catch Twilight's attention without delay. As Spike placed the pieces back in their starting positions, I glanced at the puzzled unicorn.

"Yep."

"...I don't believe you."

"Believe it, my dear." I smirked as her eyes narrowed. "Perhaps I can prove so by besting her student as well."

Of course, Twilight wouldn't say no to a challenge of wits and brains. "Spike, move over." The dragon hurriedly obliged, the unicorn taking his place as we initiated a stare down. "If you're as good as you claim, Stardust, then you should have no problem against me."

"Oh, my dear Twilight, I'm in no hurry." Ahh, that competitive mood I get in when playing games like this. I don't hear Rainbow Dash or any of the animals as of yet. From the corner of my eye, Rarity and Applejack, noticing what we were doing, approached curiously.

"And I thought it was Rainbow Dash doin' the competin' today." The orange mare pointed out in amusement.

Spike took that moment to stand beside me. "All right, time for Team Spike and Star to win once again."

At those cringe worthy words, Twilight's lips curled upwards. "'Team Spike and Star'?"

"It's a work in progress." I gestured to the humoured unicorn. "You have the first move." The first pawn moved, and the game commenced.

And the feeling grew stronger. With every turn taken, every piece removed, every strategy overcome by either side made my smile widen. It was an expression I rarely displayed, unless when in the heat of competition. I wasn't that fond of contests, those that held prizes in the end anyway, but just for the fun of chess; I held nothing back. Neither did Twilight, it seem. There was that look of intense concentration that I admired so much.

She was taking it as seriously as I, but in her own way.

Rarity observed from the side, as Applejack had taken Twilight's side of the game. I repeatedly, and politely, dismissed Spike's mutters of his own strategies.

Many do this for fun. I do it to win.

"I never knew you played chess," Twilight said casually, retreating a bishop to my right.

"I haven't played it in years." I admitted, frowning at the board. I was one piece short of being even with my foe. "I recently began again after Celestia challenged me to it."

"So you have chess where you come from?" Rarity inquired.

"Yes, though I'm afraid the novelty of it where I'm from is starting to die down." I wasn't reluctant to show my disappointment. While chess was still something many on Earth played, it was a slowly dying art. Which was a great shame.

"I sure hope Rainbow Dash and the others don't get hurt, going through that gorge." We heard Fluttershy express her concerns.

"Now don't ya worry sugarcube; I'm sure they'll make it through lickity split."

"What I don't get," I said after Applejack. "Is why Rainbow Dash even wants a pet. Not everybody-"

"-Everypony."

"...You're never going to make me say that Twilight." I finally moved my black knight forward. The plan was to deal with Twilight's advanced pieces first. The pawns will be dealt with afterwards. "As I was saying, not everyone in a group has to have something in common."

"Maybe she feels lonely."

"Maybe she wants to know what having a pet feels like."

"Maybe she got jealous of us all having pets and not her."

"It would be good of Rainbow to have a pet, anyway." Twilight stated after the other's suggestions, eyes still focused on the board. "It would prove beneficial to her; teaching her care and responsibility."

"All the more reason for the tortoise to emerge victorious." I frowned as my second bishop was removed. This mare was giving me a run for my money. "I won't lie Twilight, I'm enjoying myself here."

"The feeling is mutual." The intelligent unicorn responded, eyes finally tearing away from the chessboard as she smiled lightly. "We should play chess more often."

I nodded in agreement. "Indeed. Perhaps tomorrow during-"

"Here they come!" Pinkie Pie's yell of excitement caused us all to snap our gazes to the direction of the finish line, multiple birds heading our way. And just like that the game was quickly forgotten - to my everlasting annoyance - as Twilight, Spike and the others joined the cheering Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and their pets in congratulating the contestants.

The falcon finished in first place. Followed by the eagle; honestly I thought the majestic symbol of America would succeed in first place. Then the bat and finally the owl. And their cheering quickly died down at the lack of a presence we were all expecting to be in first place.

"Hm. Something's not right here."

"You don't say." I responded to Twilight's astute observation while joining them. Though I was just as puzzled; wondering, like them, where exactly Rainbow Dash was.

"Where's Rainbow Dash?" Fluttershy asked in confusion, as the mare's fought over using those convenient binoculars Twilight brought with us.

"Great gallopin' glalocious!" Great what now? "There's been an avalanche in there!" Applejack pointed out in concern from looking through those binoculars.

Huh. Maybe if we're lucky, she got hit by a boulder. Hehehehehehe...

"Rainbow!" Spike cried in despair, inciting my eye roll.

"She'll be fine." I assured the conversing group, staring down firmly at the path towards us. "I'm sure Rainbow and her new pet will join us any moment now-"

"Hey look!" Pinkie immediately noticed something, being closer than I to seeing from a distance. "It's the turtle!"

"Tortoise!"

"Whatever."

"And he's carrying something on his back."

A gasp. "It's Rainbow Dash! It's her; it's Rainbow!"

"Told you so." Yet my words fell on deaf ears as the ponies began cheering again. The blue pegasus was being escorted to the finish line on the reptile's back.

...Why?

The group moved the finish closer to the slow-moving duo, and the tortoise passed the line while the ponies cheered in congratulations. But that wasn't on my mind at the moment.

Where the hell did she get that cast wrapped around her body, confining her wings?

"Are you alright?" I asked instead, eyes narrowed in confusion at the sight of her. There were bruises covering her body.

"I'm fine." Rainbow Dash reassured me, shrugging slightly. "A boulder caught my wing, that's all."

...Huh.

---

"You know," Spike began while we watched the two mares interact. "If you want, we can get a pet for you, Stardust."

"...Does that include a lion?"

"Uhh..."

"Then I must graciously decline the offer, though it's most appreciated."

"There we go; everything you need to know about taking care of the diet and welfare of a tortoise." Twilight said happily from a few feet away, handing the informative books to the grateful Rainbow Dash. "Is there anything else?"

"Nah, these are all I need. Thanks Twilight." The blue Sonic ripoff replied, the reptile in question resting on her back. That wing of hers was quick to heal, as only a part of it was trapped under the boulder. No grievous injuries, thankfully. Though I still ponder where she got that cast from earlier.

"You're welcome. Now, I recommend you begin by-" I quickly tuned out Twilight's upcoming knowledgeable running muzzle, instead glancing at the observing Spike.

Catching my look, the dragon sighed in disbelief. "I can't believe you were right."

"Neither can I." Honestly, the ridiculous scenario actually happened. Even I'm shocked by how purely correct I was. The fact Rainbow didn't keep the eagle spoke volumes. "If it helps. those twenty bits you gave me will be put to good use."

"You mean spent on soda."

"Well," I shrugged while looking back at the two ponies, not bothering to deny that. "Soda's soda, Spike."

Rainbow Dash, obviously growing tired of her conversation with Twilight, held up a hoof to interject the unicorn's blabbering. "Yeah, I think I know what I'm doing. Tank's in good hoofs." I'll give her credit over naming the animal. Tank's a pretty solid name. The reptile in question blinked slowly. "Now, gotta dash!"

"Wait, Rainbow, you shouldn't-!" The blue blur already disappeared through the open front door before the unicorn could finish, Twilight stared for a moment before shaking her head. "Move fast when Tank's resting on your back..."

"I don't think Tank knows what he's getting himself into." Spike whispered to my left as Twilight sighed.

"Tortoise soup if Rainbow continues moving around like that with him on board." I said evenly.

Glancing in our direction, the purple mare released a slightly amused smile. "Well, you were correct on your speculation, Stardust. She chose the tortoise after all."

I shrugged while she closed the door. "Your world occasionally borders on ludicrous scenarios, Twilight. It wasn't that much of an educated guess." Rainbow choosing the slow-moving reptile certainly explained why it rarely appeared on the show.

"I swore it was going to be the eagle..." I heard the small dragon mutter.

"The least expected usually wins, Spike." I said humourously, glancing down at the lizard. "Look on the bright side, at least there's another reptile around who you can hang out with. You know... when it's not throwing up from Rainbow Dash's speed."

I heard Twilight giggle. "I'm sure Tank will be fine under Rainbow's care. For all her boasting and showing off, she's a very caring pony who won't allow anything harmful happen to anyone. In addition, it'd be nice for Owlicious-"

"Nightshade."

"- Owlicious to have another friend to play with." Twilight expressed that annoyed, exasperated look towards my quick interruption. "One day, Stardust, I'll persuade you to start calling him by his real name."

"Hoo." The pet owl responded from his perch, having rested there since the unicorn returned with him.

I met Twilight's gaze evenly. "Then be sure to eventually give him a real name then." The mare shook her head while I smirked. "I don't doubt Rainbow's capabilities; Tank will be in good hands." Then noticing Spike's expression, I shrugged. "What?"

The dragon responded by shaking his head with a humoured smile. "Told you so, Stardust, you've changed, alot." I frowned, and Spike was already walking off to, I imagine, complete some chore in the library.

That left just me and an inquisitive Twilight. "'Changed'?"

I nodded. "Just some conversation we had earlier, about how I've apparently became positively different as time passed by in Ponyville."

And I've barely even noticed. I mean, I don't feel any different... apart from becoming a pony of course. But as far as I'm concerned, my personality hasn't changed in the least. I don't remember these ponies doing anything to change me at all. Was it because I was more... open to them? Was I really so distant back then?

Did something else, aside from my body, about me transform into something different without my notice?

"He's right."

I blinked at the casual tone. "I beg your pardon?"

Twilight shrugged, having already begun magically moving some books around admist my thoughts. "Your attitude and interaction with us has shifted quite significantly as time passed. When you first lived in Ponyville you were... cold and distant, wary of us. And only recently I've finally understood why that was, so I don't really blame your attitude back then. But even before I was aware of the truth, you gradually changed over time. For the better, I might add. You became more nicer, more polite, more helpful, more friendly."

She threw me an exasperated smile before continuing. "To tell you the truth, Stardust, I didn't quite know what to do with you, when the Princess asked me to take you in. You were quite the enigma to me. You still are, even with all this information I'm learning about your species and home planet. True you still maintain your occasional sarcastic quips and negative attitude. But the point stands: you've changed all right, and I'm glad you have, as I'm sure Spike and the rest of your friends are too."

With every sentence my frown deepened. Was I really that much of an inconvenience to them? "Twilight... I'm sorry if I was so difficult to work with. I didn't try to be; I simply valued my privacy over trivial interactions."

The unicorn nodded, placing some books back in their correct shelves. "So did I. I was reluctant to make friends too, prioritizing my studies over social interactions. But you know what? I think we both changed since coming to Ponyville. Don't you?"

"...I suppose." Was she comparing me to herself? Should I be flattered or baffled?

Obviously noticing the tone, the mare said, "Stardust, I understand your skepticism, but trust me when I state that you've become a better pony - or 'person' as you prefer - just like I have. We've both learnt how important friendship truly is; it just took you longer to understand, correct?"

Possibly. But I concurred with the mare in a different way. "When are you incorrect?" I smirked.

That incited light laughter out of the knowledgeable unicorn's muzzle, shaking her head. "I appreciate your kind words, but I'm not as all-knowing as you make me out to be."

"Oh I don't know." Teasing time. "I don't believe I was exaggerating when I said, during the Discord crisis, that you are the most intelligent and brilliant pony in all of Equestria." And I don't say those as compliments... not just as, anyway.

Already she was hiding her face from me, her voice squeaking pure embarrassment. "I'm inclined to disagree."

"You can't disagree with a statement of fact, my dear." It was purely entertaining to embarrass this mare in many ways possible.

Why do I enjoy doing it? No clue myself, but it brings a smile to my face, seeing her flush like that.

...Damn. Spike was right, these ponies ARE making me soft.

"A-Anyway." Twilight began after a pause, regaining her composure while traces of red still remained on her purple features. "It's almost evening. we still have time for me to take notes about your world. Maybe you can tell me more about these 'computers' you mentioned yesterday."

"It would be my pleasure, Twilight." Though explaining about PC's and how they operate will be a difficult process for me to explain. I was no technician. "Though I have an idea, if you'd agree."

"Please, continue."

"Perhaps, as to not make our sessions become eventually dull, we could play some chess during said sessions. What do you think?" That smile was the only answer I required. "By the way. Tank; far more believable name then 'Owlicious.'"

Twilight shook her head as the bird in question observed us from his perch. "At least it sounds less dramatic than 'Nightshade'."

"It's an awesome name."

"Now you sound like Rainbow Dash."

"Don't you dare compare me to- at least the pegasus would be right about something for once."

"...Are you really just saying that to further prove your point?"

"I'd side with Celestia if I have to if she agreed."

"Please, I've known the Princess longer; I think she'd concur with my choice."

"This coming from the mare who thought her mentor would punish her for failing to write a friendship report in a scheduled week."

"At least I care what others think about me!"

"You make it sound like an improvement!"

"Inconsiderate ruffian!"

"Melodramatic smartarse!"

"I'm melodramatic?! Have you ever met yourself-?!"

"Hoo."

And, for some nonsensical and comical reason, the sudden hoot from Nightshade changed our mindless argument into a fit of shared laughter. Twilight closing her eyes as she said next, "Haha! Owlicious is right; this bickering is pointless."

"Haha, indeed... Nightshade's still a better name though."

"Of course it is, Stardust. Of course it is..."

Comments

[Lunar Pitch]

7532064 Calm down dude and u too fluttershy I mean Jesus [Beep] Christ.

[Rhawkas]

I'm infected with... friendship."

"And now an update on the friendship epidemic spreading across Equestria. Sources are baffled as to the sudden surge in cases of friendship and scientists are working around the clock to find a cure. Checkpoints have been set up across the country and the infected are being quarantined. The small town of Ponyville appears to be the hardest hit, with an estimated 95% of the population infected. On the other hoof, Manehattan appears to be almost entirely friendship-free, with only a paltry .27% of the population infected. Next up, how to find out if your special somepony is a changeling. And how to make the most of it."

[hellfiredarkness]

8713505
My friend, your sense of humour is amazing!
Couldn't stop laughing for the rest of the day!