A Journey Beyond Sanity

by Darkwing Dust

Chapter 163: Remorse For The Enemy? Don't Think So

"-Anyway, so I thought of how to beat the next boss. Wanna know? Of course you do. I've got this sweet strategy it took all night for me to think of, and it's gonna make it a cakewalk! Ready to have your mind blown?"

Nerve of them...

The absolute nerve...

"Taking that as a yes... So, instead of falling right into the boss' trap, how about we sidestep that obvious bait and just attack him on the sides. That trap can be avoided right? I'll need to know so this can work in our favour."

Where the Hell's the cheese...?

"All of that is your fault."

Grr...!

"I know right? Bosses can be such a chore to deal with. Do you think for next game night we should have a boss rush? Come to think of it, we haven't had a game night since you turned back into a human. Guess we've all been busy, huh? Maybe we can spare some time for this Saturday. Sound good-?"

"You could've offered them advice and guidance, not throw them under the bus at every given opportunity!"

Spike's incessant ramblings were swiftly cut off from the slamming of the fridge doors, my eyes barely noting my shaking hand after performing this action of utter frustration. And who could blame me for being so frustrated? These last few days have been nothing but pure agony for me.

And you know what, Spike? You certainly weren't helping.

"Guessing that's a no... Heh." The dragon behind me chuckled nervously. "That or we're out of soda again... Must be pretty annoying since Twilight uncovered your secret stash last week-"

"Did Starlight use up the last cheese again?" I abruptly turned to the blinking Spike, whom leaned back somewhat by my no-nonsense attitude and shrugged helplessly.

"I think Pinkie borrowed some yesterday." [BEEP]. "We can always just get some more. Why don't I add it to the list tomorrow for shopping-?"

"No, it's fine Spike." I sighed wearily instead, rubbing my forehead and pressing my back against the clean fridge, my quest for food ruined by Pinkie's neverending hunger. Spike took evident notice of my discomfort, of course, tilting his head with a concerned expression.

"Bad day huh?"

"Bad week more of." My hands ran down my face, idly meeting those green eyes so filled with life and youthful innocence. Innocence I had no desire of ruining for any reason.

"No, you gave them an ultimatum. Do as you say or lose what's precious to them!"

Okay, bad week was more of less the understatement of the [BEEP]ing millennium. One day has wholly passed since that confrontation back in Sunset's world and... Yeah, not much else to say. Other than I was never returning to that wretched universe for the life of me, because there was nothing left for me to visit there for again.

[BEEP]ing ungrateful hypocrites.

"How does that make you any better than the likes of Cinch? Or the sirens? Or Zagreus?"

My eye twitched, unnoticed to Spike's vain attempt of lifting the atmosphere. "So, what do ya think then about my strategy? Think it'll work?"

I sighed, uncrossing my arms and straightening. "Spike."

"No? I mean it's a work in progress-"

"Spike."

"-But putting our minds together we can improve from there because we're brilliant strategists in our own right-"

"Spike."

"-Do you think we should get Discord to help out? He might be a prankster, but somehow I can see Discord craft up some good offensives against the boss. Oh, how about we test out our strategy by using Zephyr as a guinea pig-?!"

"Spike."

The grounded-out name finally prompted the young lizard enough, earning a weary sigh in return, Spike shrugging again from his place beside the table. "Just trying to keep you from acting all gloomy like you were yesterday. Well, that was a bit of an understatement." A tiny grin. "Heh, you looked like you were ready to eat anypony alive the second they tried talking to you." But there was no humour in the dragon's voice, but observation and deep apprehension.

Oh congrats Jack. You're scaring your own son with your behaviour now. How about a cookie?

Eyes closing tiredly, my fingers soothed my scalp again for the moment before my feet acted on instinct's demand, guiding right towards the door. I was in no mood to talk to anyone, no mood to express my concerns, frustrations or otherwise. I was far too tired to even care what others thought at the moment.

"You had no right to choose what benefits yourself and others like that."

"Dad." My hand paused from the door handle, but I couldn't bring myself to turn around. Refuse to meet the worried stare of a good-natured boy who never did any wrong. Because I made sure none of that ever happened. "Don't push us out again..."

"Why should I get away with punishment from my past actions, but they suffer for theirs?"

"...I'm sorry Spike."

And left before I could be persuaded to linger more, retreating back to the safe confines of my room. It felt like my only protection nowadays...

---

"You know what I'm going to say."

And you know I'm barely going to acknowledge that, emphasized by keeping my eyes glued to the pages I was hardly even reading, my vision a little blurred despite the glasses for the moment. The alicorn beside me on the couch sighed, giving up the last thing of the persistent mare's agenda. A trait I both adored and often found exasperating.

"I suppose it'd be pointless to say that everyone's deeply concerned about you." Le duh? "Of course that'd be evident. Since yesterday you've confined yourself to your room with exceptions of bathroom and kitchen breaks. I'd say you were still recovering from your ordeal with the heart attack, but we both know that's far from the truth."

Hmm...

Nope, not even reading my all-time favourite novel was doing any favours, neither hearing the soothing melodious tones of my special somepony. My features fixed on unpleasant, weary and angered. And who could blame me? Life's been a right state of misery since reverting back as human. Reminds me too much of the old days prior to life in Equestria.

Couldn't recall being this depressed under Sombra's possession. That's how questionably bad I was experiencing...

"What happened at Camp Everfree?"

My body stiffened, grip tightening against the spine of the worn book, features twitching uncomfortably. Blunt, Twilight, but I imagined at this point her patience with me was reaching the boiling point.

"You could've offered them advice and guidance, not throw them under the bus at every given opportunity!"

"Absolutely nothing." I promptly answered without so much a glance at the mare, though her own unconvinced state was evident through the air.

But I was right, though. Nothing happened at all. I took care of some things Hasbro was too cowardly to address themselves for the sake of simplicity. Nothing different than my usual interference of matters.

"Oh? Because what Sunset shared with me tells another story." Twilight paused before huffing in slight exasperation. "She told me everything, Jack."

"You had no right to choose what benefits yourself and others like that."

The book slammed shut with an echo, my posture rising upwards with swiftness and walking over to the small shelf. Twilight wasn't taking this lightly, as always. "Pretend nothing happened all you want, but you can't escape from your actions. Isn't that what you've been trying to instill your whole time there?"

"Instead, you carried this air of self-righteousness and casting holy judgement when it wasn't even their fault!"

"Why are you asking then?" I snapped without looking back, placing the book back and barely trying to keep my breathing even, the very idea of Twilight turning against me right then and there causing my limbs to shake uncontrollably. "If Sunset's told you everything, why come to me for information?"

"Because maybe I want to hear what my special somepony has to say for himself?" The Princess spoke as if it were obvious. "Because I'm trying to understand what he was attempting to accomplish, and listen to both sides of the tale before making any unfair judgement."

"The only unfair thing regarding this scenario was your prejudiced treatment of them and biased of mine."

My head bowed, eyes clenched shut. Please, I didn't need this right now. All of Twilight's word were resonating perfectly with Sunset's statements firmly planted into my mind, fresh scars from the recent betrayal of a friend I considered close. Don't turn against me too, Twilight.

Please, not you of all people...

The mare's voice tried a new tactic after a minute of tense silence. "Even Sunset's worried about you, you know." My nostrils inhaled sharply, but Twilight continued. "Ever since you stormed back through the portal in anger and tears, she's been constantly contacting me, begging to know if you're okay. Despite your own possible misgivings Jack, Sunset is still concerned for the well-being of a good friend, as are we all. Spike's worried sick about you too. In fact, most of our friends are beginning to presume you're reverting back to your old self..."

"I might as well be." I grounded out through gritted teeth. "Since I've brought nothing but misery ever since becoming human again... Since I returned to ruin your lives with my baggage..."

The sound of light hoofsteps. "That's far from true and you know that." I sniffed from the lavender limb touching my clothed calf, Twilight clearly attempting everything to get me to open up. "I want to help, but I need to hear your side of things, Jack. I know you, you obviously had everyone's safety in mind behind your actions at Camp Everfree."

That damn camp again... Why couldn't it just leave me alone?!

"What if I don't want to talk about it Twilight?" I finally snapped down to the mare, whirling around with exhausted but heated hazel eyes. "What if I am sick of talking about my feelings? About sharing my problems with others?" My limbs gestured wildly to emphasize the point, taking a few steps forward towards the startled alicorn. "What if, this once, I don't need to justify myself because for once you girls are wrong and I'm in the right? What if I'm so upset and angry because I did no wrong, but I'm being treated as the villain for it? WHAT IF THIS ISN'T MY FAULT TO BEGIN WITH? WHAT ABOUT THAT TWILIGHT?!"

It wasn't planned; raising my voice to such degree. But the damage was done, my mini rant over as it begun, breathing shallow as hazel clashed with bewildered violet, Twilight regarding me as though I wasn't her special somepony she thought so highly of and some ill-tempered stranger. The real Jack Wright she was insistent on seeing.

The Jack Wright whom never deserved her or such friends...

"It doesn't matter." I looked away again with a softer tone, Twilight's gaze literally causing me pain. "You'd take their word over mine anyway. I know how this works love..."

"...Is that what you truly think?" The hurt in her quiet voice was palpable, and anguish tore through my chest at the suffering I was unintentionally causing the mare I love. "That I would never take my special somepony's words into account. Do you really believe so little in me, Jack...?"

"...No." I sighed, confessing to this truth. "But I know how blinded by simple morality you girls are... It's no hard guess what you'll decide in the end."

Black and white. That was how they viewed things. How they always viewed them... And I couldn't judge them for it. Sometimes, I actually envied that simple perceptive. Would make life a billion times more easier if shades of grey never existed.

I didn't believe myself to be so dark, but if I was honest, I'd probably perceive myself as the darkest shade of grey possible... Despite what others may presume.

It wasn't until the door shut after Twilight's silent departure that I thoroughly collapsed to the floor, and let the tears of frustration and anguish escape me. Not since recovering from Sombra's invasion of my mind and soul had I felt so powerless and... And...

Evil...

"Let go of this mindless contempt you have against them."

Twilight... Sunset... Girls... I was so, so sorry...

---

Should I even bother getting out of bed today...?

...Probably. My proactive mind wouldn't allow otherwise. My legs yearn to pace to keep up with my neverending thoughts and ideas. A habit I was admittedly prideful to keep, making use of my lower limbs and somewhat exercising enough while doing something I loved. That's right, I love thinking, always have. A rather strange confession, I know, but so many accomplishment have been made throughout history by deep thought and crafted ideas.

Like this universe, for example.

Hm, some would agree that contemplations play an essential role to the future of all.

Huh, was wondering when you'd reveal yourself again. My gaze kept fixed to the ceiling even when removing myself from bed, beginning said pace again because my body demanded the activity. You've been quiet, Starswirl, since you basically told me I was slowly dying from being human again for so long. What kept you?

Hmhm, apologies Jack. Though his tone suggested something else than good humour. My attention was directed elsewhere within the deeper layers of the magical realm for the time being. Though I've seen you've been quite busy of late.

Oh yeah, causing arguments and breaking ties with people I considered close to me. Not to mention I was practically pushing everyone around me away despite my inevitable departure from this world and the physical realm in general because it's highly unlikely I'll become a pony in time to save me from enduring a slow and agonizing death. And let's not forget the devastating impact that would cause my friends and family, so really I'm doing everyone a favour keeping my distance this way; the pain would much lessen then.

So yeah, same old same old. What have you been up to, teach?

Well, I'm at least pleased to see that you're accepted this news with a grain of salt. Though I'm unconvinced regarding the 'inevitable' part. The old spirit sighed as I perked an impatient brow. My services were requested within the deeper parts of the realm in order to repair some minor anomalies caused from the high cost of magic I am borrowing from this plane.

Anomalies entirely of my fault, of course.

We are both to blame, myself moreso Jack. Now, what ails you my young pupil? Your mind is under heavy duress. I understand there was some conflict between yourself and a fellow Equestrian?

I thought you could could see and hear everything?

I am neither omnipotent nor omniscient. Now, please refrain from averting the subject.

Worth a shot... Alright.

I sighed, taking a seat after pausing from my brisk pace back and forth, on the foot of my bed with hands interlocked and resting on waking thighs. Well, basically, Sunset called me out on my actions at Camp Everfree and tried to scold me for them, thereby ignoring everything I was trying to achieve in favour for her bull[BEEP] moral code.

I see... And you argued back just as passionately?

Well...

Not really. I was rather too bewildered and angry to argue back soundly then. But I've taken time to think about it now.

Your opinion remains the same.

Of course it does! My eyes blazed to the harmless painted ceiling above. No amount of passion from Sunset, or anyone's part for that matter, will dissuade me from the simple truth that Timber and Daisy were completely in the wrong at that camp and my own judgement on them was sound and just!

And why was your judgement the only solution? It is my comprehension that you originally intended to have their beloved camp shut down completely.

I mean...

Well yes. But having the two supervised by adults who know what they're doing works just as fine too!

Why is that, Jack?

Why? B-Because a camp shouldn't be run by incompetent teenagers! Such a business like any other should be managed and cared for by grown up with years of experience and training suited for the environment. That's common sense!

True. My teacher thankfully conceded. Perhaps had there been further adult supervision some disasters may have been avoided.

Exactly!

But it has yet to explain your reasoning behind your final decision back then. What made your choice the only option present?

Please tell me you're not siding with them too.

I am not 'siding' with anyone, Jack, but I am trying to help. Please answer this question.

Was it not obvious?!

Now I was back to pacing back and forth again, the conversation increasing my anxiety and frustration the further it was discussed, Sunset's betrayal still fresh and conflicting with memories of events at that camp I'd sooner forget. Regardless, Starswirl asked and I was all too happy to indulge his curiosity.

Because the option they chose originally was worse, far worse by comparison! Allowing Timber and Daisy to get away with their actions scot free with no repercussions and acting like nothing ever happened! No lessons were learnt! No vows were made to improve and never make the same mistakes! It just ended with a conclusion so undeserving and questionably unethical it was infuriating!

One could argue that the young siblings had faced such consequences upon one of them becoming a monster and almost destroying the camp. One would presume that they realized their errors in judgement and internally vowed to learn from them. Just because we don't see these things occur, Jack, doesn't mean they never happened at all.

They never acted like that in the special-

Okay I take that back; Daisy learned for a brief moment before Principal Incompetent and Vice Principal Useless shrugged that glimpse of interesting character development off.

Indulge me for a moment here: Had Timber and Gloriosa not expressed regrets for their actions from our version of events? Had they not promised to achieve better and become more grown up from the experience?

I...

...Doesn't mean it'll come true though...

And why's that?

Because... Because it goes against their character!

And what is their character, to you Jack? Kindly provide a brief description of how you perceive young Timber and Gloriosa.

Arrogant, self-deluded and dangerous. They think themselves above responsibility and moral standing. The special portrays them as good people but, when you think about it for a second, they are anything but.

Is that what you saw a short while back? Did you witness any of these traits up close your whole time there?

...

I literally couldn't make a response, because my brain was working hard to counteract that obvious point. But Starswirl wasn't done yet.

Are they bad people, Jack, because of these traits? Do a few negative parts of a personality instantly qualifies as despicable human beings to you? I can tell you what I think; their antics at the camp are neither worse nor more horrendous than certain other's past actions. I believe Miss Shimmer raises one sound point; in the case of others making past regrets with noble intentions, what makes them treated any differently?

...Alright. Maybe calling them flat-out 'bad' people is a tad of an exaggeration. But their actions shouldn't be excused!

Nor should they be. However, let's view things from a different angle, shall we? What separates yourself from your friends, one part specifically?

They're too forgiving for their own good...?

The unicorn chuckled warmly. Whereas you judge those for actions over intent, your friends judge others by their intent as opposed to actions. You believe their treatment originally was unfair and biased, and acted accordingly to, in your mind, correct those margin of errors. And in doing so, you alienated your friends through these actions.

Alienated them...?

Mmhm. Consider this: You saw the specials. You knew of key events and occurrences beforehand. You know what should and shouldn't have happened and why. The girls had no such privileges. To them, one good friend of theirs was acting aloof and pushing his own weight around, treating two seemingly innocent counselors with disdain before they even committed any wrong. Two counselors whom, not only confessed to their mistakes and vowed to accomplish better, but were victims of manipulation by a madman and constant passive-aggression by a man who appeared to be blinded from one-sided prejudice. We can agree that young Timber and Gloriosa are not 'bad' individuals, but they have made huge errors of lapses in judgement.

...I'm listening...

Starswirl seemed pleased by my slowly growing curiosity, hearing what this stallion has to say in defense for them. The main cog here, Jack, was miscommunication. To you, the two counselors were bad apples from the very beginning out of foreknowledge and lack of affection over teenagers in general. To them, they were misguided and simply in need of people they could trust and rely on, qualities you were more than prepared to provide but refused to out of unreasonable contempt. A middle ground had to have been reached, certainly.

But... I gave them the chance to redeem themselves; to give me a reason to trust them and prove they're good people.

Precisely, Jack, you behaved as though your trust was something to earn rather than borrow. You provided to stock faith in a stranger who has acted nothing but antagonistic towards them for seemingly unknown reasons, otherwise losing something precious to their family's legacy. And Zagreus took full advantage of your distaste for them in his malicious favour.

So... You're echoing what Sunset was basically getting across two days ago... I was just as much to blame for what happened as both campers and Zagreus. If I wasn't behaving like such a self-entitled [BEEP], none of that would've occurred at all...?

...It's hard to say. Starswirl answered after a moment. The future is always in motion; whether or not your participation would have changed much of anything is purely a matter of speculation, with Zagreus' presence having been there regardless. Another pause. But, to humour you, say had you put trust and offered to assist from the very start, then perhaps things might have impacted on a more positive note. This is all hypothesis, of course. But there remains one simple lesson regardless all of this we may all experience from.

Being...?

That we're far from flawless, and just because we believe we're in the right doesn't put us in that position. You of all people shouldn't need to be reminded of this, Jack.

...

...

...

Maybe I was a little presumptuous... Maybe I acted without thought for the most part there. Maybe I disregarded everyone's feelings out of my own arrogance and belief that I was right. But is that really my fault, Starswirl...? Considering the simple mindset of my friends, could I really be blamed for wanting some sound resolution out of all of this?

And what was wrong with the original resolution?

They got away with being punished...

Did they deserve to be punished?

...

It wasn't fair that they were treated like they could do no wrong, at the very end like that...

And my own words haunted me: "Putting up with your nonsense in this world and the people with it. You disgusting stereotypes and mockeries to your Equestrian selves. Do you have any idea how much tolerance I had to... No."

My gaze lowered softly. What have I done? I ruined a perfectly good friendship because I took their own feelings for granted... Because I never gave anyone a chance.

I was arrogant, self-entitled and believed my own word infallible for that situation...

I was the villain that time around.

The moral here, my young student, is that we all make mistakes and strive to learn from them.

...Except this time, Starswirl, it might be far too late...

And why might that be, Jack? As you said yourself, your friends are very forgiving despite past grievances.

Yes, they might be forgive me...

But I will never forgive myself.

---

"How the mighty have fallen."

"Not in the mood Starlight."

The pink unicorn in question rolled her lilac eyes, having decided to take a cozy spot right between me and the TV, blocking a good lower half of the screen. That's fine, I could adapt. "You don't seem to be in the mood for anything these days." The former villain pointed out with a wry smile. "Is this how you behaved before we first ever met? Because I'm starting to miss the more energetic non-human Stardust."

So was I, my dear. So was I, more than you can imagine. "I'm sure Sunburst would appreciate the view." I quipped without taking my eyes off the upper lively screen where my avatars was interacting. "But I'm trying to play here, Starlight."

The unicorn then frowned quizzically. "Why would Sunburst appreciate the sight of me?"

Oh, so innocent. Just another reminder how I bring nothing but despair and misery to you all, girl. "I'll tell you when you're older." Ooh one of them just got promoted!

Shaking her head and dismissing my comments, the graduated equine looked to the TV and inquired with a puzzled frown. "What are you even playing anyway?"

"Fourth Sims game." I answered without skipping a beat. "Recently downloaded it. Picture playing God and creating a family; helping them grow up, find a job, get married. All those things."

Things which would likely never happen with me. Ah well, couldn't have everything.

Starlight observed the two Sims on-screen make garbled compliments to one another with positive results, tilting her head in humorous befuddlement. "Looks... Investing."

I shrugged half-heatedly. "It helps past the time." My brother would play the third game as a daily ritual before the PS3 broke down. There was just something so addicting about the franchise as a whole. Maybe it's because you're essentially the God of your own little universe with so much at your fingertips. Absolute power corrupts, and nothing is more appealing to a human being than the prospect of being Godlike.

No matter how much you try to deny it...

"Hmm." Starlight watched the interactions of the characters in-game for a few seconds before turning back to me with a raised brow, sounding deeply unimpressed. "This is what it's come to then?" I rolled me eyes next. Here it comes. "Laying on the couch like a downright slob with an expression like it's the end of your world?"

"Spot-on."

She blinked at the simple reply, but shook her head again with an annoyed huff. "You're a piece of work, you know that?"

"Haven't noticed."

"Tch." Starlight clicked her tongue- Oi! And the controller was promptly snatched from my hands, disappearing with a flash from her hoofs followed with the bottles of coke beside me. Before I could express the lack of respect, the stern mare followed her actions with a colder expression. "While everyone else is worrying sick about you, you're acting like an apathetic clown."

I raised a brow at the terminology. "That's a new one."

"Thanks, I worked hard on it." The mare replied dryly, and that at least quirked the corners of my mouth a little, and Starlight herself looked trying hard not to smile. "Look, I get it, okay? You're stuck as a human, you feel utterly useless to everyone around you, and you had a falling out with some close friends. Anyone would want to shut themselves in and others out feeling this way." Points to Starlight; she never beats around the bush. A quality I rather admired about the mare. "But nothing will improve from feeling sorry for yourself and just sitting around doing nothing productive at all."

"As opposed to... Getting myself continuously injured because this world hates my guts?" And is actively trying to kill me by slowly draining me of my life force through constant heart attacks? "What do you propose, Starlight? We fly a kite together? Talk about our feelings? Compare ourselves and our past experiences again and learn some bull lesson about friendship? I'm far too mature for that [BEEP], sorry."

I may be acting flippant, but I was in the middle of gaming. You don't interrupt a man and his video games. It's an unspoken law.

But Starlight seemed not to care in the least, rolling her eyes again with a rhetoric, "Yeah you're so more mature than any of us here by sitting around like a slouch and playing video games, raiding the fridge and snapping at your friends just to release your pent-up aggression. Obviously we can learn so much from you. Not even sure why Twilight is bothering with trying today's spell in becoming hu-" And abruptly cut herself off with widened eyes like a deer caught in headlights.

...

...

...

...WHAT?!

"What was that?" I quickly sat up, regarding the unicorn who sharply looked away with a brisk response.

"Nothing."

No, I was not tolerating this bull[BEEP]. "Starlight."

The mare hesitated. "She's just trying out a new spell on herself, that's all." Not good enough. At my irritated look by glancing my way, Starlight pursed her lips a little. "It's nothing dangerous, I can assure you Star-"

The mare was cut off promptly by kneeling down before her and grabbing her equine shoulders, forcing the stunned Equestrian to meet my intense. Please note the wild panic currently dancing in my eyes. "Starlight, this is [BEEP]ing important. What is Twilight doing?" Because is what Starlight implied just then was the case, then I was going to bolt over to the library and stop it before my girlfriend endures the same fate.

"I told you, it's nothing-"

"Starlight!"

"Okay, okay!" The mare softly rubbed her own left ear and reluctantly admitted, "Twilight's working on an adaptation of that spell and hoping to make herself become human just like you-"

I was already halfway towards the door as Starlight confirmed my worst fears, the mare instantly teleporting against the doorway and promptly stumbling back as I forcibly pushed by her, making a full-on sprint towards the library's location. Please be there Twilight, and please for the love of God don't go through with this yet!

"Wait Stardust! She's doing this for you!" I heard Starlight attempt to catch up with me. "She wants to help you in any way she can!"

"This is the opposite of help!" I called back hurriedly, reaching the library doors and slamming them open with all the force I could muster.

Twilight looked up from her paper, horn lit in preparation and surrounded by various books and scrolls alike. Thankfully still a pony. One startled glance from me to a panting Starlight and me again for her to comprehend my entrance, blinking with a rather sheepish smile. "Jack. I was hoping to surprise you-"

I strode over, eyes firmly placed to the floating piece of paper beside the mare and snatching it from midair. "Is this the adapted spell you thought up?" Twilight frowned curiously, slowly nodding after noticing my impatient and feral expression. Good for me.

And her expression changed quickly to aghast horror as my skilled fingers and grip ripped the written piece into scraps and scrunched up bits. "Hey! That took me all night to work on!"

Sorry love, this is the one punishment I refuse to let you suffer through too.

"Promise me you will never practice this spell." Twilight blinked, shying back somewhat by my demand rather than request, holding up the ruined paper for emphasis. "This is important Twilight!"

"Jack-"

"Promise me!"

"Alright, I promise!" The alicorn relented, thank God, looking both panicked and suspicious by my intense demand. "What has gotten into you Jack? I would've thought this transition would be easier for you-"

"You thing being a full human is easy? Do you?" I snapped, throwing the scraps down with heavy breathing. "It's not fun and games. It's a pain. A curse. An affliction I never want to see you endure. Any of you." I added to the bewildered Starlight observing from behind, looking back towards the upset Twilight and grimacing at the expression, adding with softer emphasis. "Sorry... Just... Trust me on this, love... Equestria needs you as a pony, more than I need you to understand me."

And made my retreat with Twilight weakly calling out, "Jack..." And brushing past an anxious Starlight, both watching me leave with nothing more to add.

Sorry love, Starlight... But I couldn't let the true reason slip out. It might just incite you, Twilight, to practice the spell much further... And I'd never forgive myself for that.

I'd sooner die quicker.

At least I managed to stop her from going through with the act... And I will continue to, knowing her. Even if she'll hate me for it.

---

You did the right thing, Jack.

Yeah? That's how I felt about Camp Everfree, but it appears I was basically the villain then.

Circumstances differ here. You were preventing your beloved Princess from possibly suffering a similar fate to your own. You did the right thing this time.

...Then why did I feel as though I've done something wrong?

Hmm... Perhaps you could've approached the issue with more tact, I must confess.

Oh hardy har!

I managed a weak grin regardless, looking over the balcony regarding the peaceful town. Shades of evening were hitting the reddening sky, pegasi moving the clouds around again to suit the means of their kind. I often wondered, how did nature work before ponykind was around in this world?

Similar to how natures progresses in your world, according to Equestrian history.

Heh... Never mind about humans loving to play God. Your species [BEEP] around with nature just to suit their own whims. Pegasi decide and control weather, two rulers move around a sun and moon respectively just 'cause, and unicorns [BEEP] around with arcane magic with often devastating consequences.

That or deal with matters using magic in the laziest ways possible.

...God I miss being an Earth Pony.

It was just more... Fulfilling. Easier... Felt more like I belonged with in this world than as... This piece of [BEEP] body. One glance at my palm with ill-disguised disgust. I never was a fan of this body. So small. So weak and defenseless... Hindered by unhealthy choices and impaired vision. Cursed by the traits of an autistic. At least as a pony I felt far more... Powerful.

Energized.

Godlike.

More... Human.

...What does that word even mean anymore, these days...?

"Um... Dad?"

Hm...?

My tired gaze idly looked down, meeting the rather uncertain stare of a certain adorable and brave young dragon. Spike smiled rather sheepishly up towards me. "Hope I wasn't interrupting the view."

"No, no." And seeing as it was Spike, I attempted at least to sound more energetic despite my own disposition. "Now, if it was your mother I was staring at, it would be another matter entirely."

Spike snorted. "Gee, thanks for sharing that with me." But met my grin with a more encouraged one, nodding for me to follow as he stepped back indoors. "Come on. There's something I wanna show you."

Oh? Spike wants to show me something? That's rather new, and somewhat intriguing. Unless this is something else planned by the mares again. Another party I swear to God... Regardless, I followed after the young lizard whom continuously called for me to catch up, to my fond amusement.

"Hurry up Dad! Don't tell me being human again's slowing you down!"

Someone's in for a father-son roughhousing the second I catch up with him...

But, surprisingly, the youthful Spike guided me neither to the library or any huge room in the castle, but rather his own bedroom. Upon my curious entrance, the dragon simply shut the doors after making sure no one else was following and instructed me to take a seat by the tiny table. So I humorously obliged him, carefully sitting down and waiting with a quizzical smile as Spike proceeded to a nearby closet and hummed to himself with purpose.

Was this another episode event I should be aware of, Starswirl?

Not quite, my friend.

A few seconds later, the dragon returned with his claws filled with stacks of paper, hesitantly approaching a shy grin. Curious and curious. Reaching the bed, Spike placed the papers down to my right and plopped down on the other small chair, gently pushing the top piece forward with a nervous expression.

I raised a brow, indulging the unspoken command and picking the first stack, noting it was bound by tape together. "And this is...?" I inquired, reading the big bold letters written in pencil.

SPIKE THE BRAVE AND GLORIOUS.

THE TALE OF THE DRAGON WARRIOR.

Spike answered as my bewildered gaze stuck firm on the proud boastful letters. "Um... My stories."

...Huh!

I glanced back to the dragon and then the papers again, opening the second page with open puzzlement, intrigue and wonder. "I didn't know you had an interest in writing..." I mused whilst beginning to silently read the creativity spawning from this dragon's imaginative mind. S pike only chuckled nervously in turn.

...Hm...

One page after another.

...Wow...

...Jesus Christ...!

"Spike... This is brilliant!" I concluded in pleasant surprise after finishing the last page, already reaching over for the next stack of amazing imagination.

The dragon blinked, a hopeful grin rising on his face. "Really?! You think so?" I nodded, barely keeping off my own enthusiastic smile the further I ready these amazing thought-out stories. Okay true, they were done to death before, but the commitment and promise Spike was showing was off the charts!

Because these were incredible!

"Absolutely brilliant." I praised after finishing the next 'book' and eagerly taking the next. "And you thought up all this by scratch?"

"Well I got a little inspiration here and there." But Spike couldn't sound anymore thrilled by my own approval. "I guess since my Dad's also a writer I wanted to try it out for myself and... Ta da." I paused from halfway in the next stack, slowly gazing to the sheepishly grinning Spike in awe and wonder. The dragon simply shrugged, green eyes darting away at everything but meeting my humbled and touched stare. "I, figured this would help cheer you up... I mean, I was going to keep it a secret until they were all done, but..."

Spike...

My chest ached, in both warmth and the reminder of how affection and love this little guy held towards me. Neither I honestly deserved. Something lodged in my throat, and I just wanted to drop the papers and hug the kind loving dragon as tightly as possible. But I forced myself to be restrained, not wanting to accidentally ruin this marvelous work and clear dedication.

"I like to think I'm doing... Pretty good with these first stories." Spike laughed rather weakly whilst motioning with the shyness of a child towards the stacks. "You can obviously guess where some of the ideas come from just by the titles alone, huh..."

...I made my decision.

"Wait right here." I instructed rather sternly, quickly rising up and leaving, making a brisk departure to my own room and back. A good four minutes later, I returned after pulling out my own secret project, deciding to repay the favour for Spike's overwhelming love and kindness which I so desperately wanted to share in turn.

Spike wanted me to feel better, and he made the attempt to do so. And, for the moment, tremendously succeeded.

"Now this." I began after carefully setting the large stack of papers down on the center of the table, to Spike's open curiosity. "Is the product of spare time and secret work without anyone knowing."

The young lizard then gasped excitedly. "You mean, this is that secret project you mentioned ages ago but refused to share with anyone, even Mom?"

"Especially your mother." I nodded with a mischievous smile. "A book I will one day publish completely by everyone's surprise. And you, son, will of course get the first ever copy, because there is nothing I can ever repay for your kindness here, today."

Spike's grin only widened. "Maybe you can start by teaching me how to write poetry."

I laughed genuinely at that, feeling content once again for the first time in ages. It felt like eons! "I'm sure Rarity would love that." Spike flushed at that with a sheepish smile, and I was prompted to add in amused endearment. "But I have a better idea son. Have you thought of what your next story is about?"

The dragon shrugged. "Just small bits here and there... Why?"

"Well, what do you say we have this next piece written by the combined writing minds, of father and son?" Spike's expression was all the answer required, the dragon eagerly rushing across the room to gather the pencils and paper.

Always trust the heart of a child to pull you from the dark... Spike was one gift to me I will never, ever look back differently to.

Comments

[Slendy]

Dammit, Starswirl! His wise words always are right! One day, Stardust will be the one to tell them so....one day....

Great chapter though! I especially like the interactions between Stardust and Starlight, there fun.

[Russian Bank Teller]

What really bothers me is that people who turn into ponies in this stories change their name to something pony like in an instant with no remorse and more or less ignore/forget about the name that was given to them at birth. It just REALLY irks me.

[Darkwing Dust]

9142795
Eh, he's not really abandoned his name. It's just out of necessity to blend in. Besides, Twilight nowadays calls him by his real name.

[Deltorix]

9142795
To me some are choosing to change their names to get a fresh start and fit in