A Journey Beyond Sanity

by Darkwing Dust

Chapter Nineteen: A Deceive and Negotiate Episode

Basket? Check.

Brownies and bottle of soda? Check.

An infatuated dragon departing with the eye-batting fashioner of Ponyville? Check.

A prepared plan, and back-up plan just in case? Check.

I'm good to go.

What was I doing you ask? Why intend to follow and observe Spike and Rarity of course.

Why? Because, my friends, I know what occurs during their day out together, the situation they face and the enemies that will abduct the white unicorn when they least expect it. I have seen this episode, and when I heard today that Spike was leaving to some area where the two will uncover various gems, I resorted to packing immediately.

In fact, this was the first MLP episode I ever watched.

I was wondering when it would reach this point in time. But while my mind dwelled on other things - such as Specter, Celestia and Twilight as examples - I hastily prepared as soon as the gleeful Spike informed me what he was doing today before finding something to help carry any gems he and Rarity find.

My motivation for helping them out? Anything to keep my mind from the previous conversation with that monarch, really.

Now the two were leaving. But why follow straight afterwards? I'll give them ten minutes at best before pursuing the pair, and I walked towards the main room window and had to roll my eyes at the sight of the lizard almost literally drooling from walking beside his crush.

You'd think Twilight would have taught him some manners when around a lady... or mare.

Speak of the pony. The sound of the front door opening again alerted me to her presence, as the purple unicorn entered the library alongside a certain blue pegasus, chatting excitedly. "That was impressive, Rainbow Dash; two point ten seconds from utilizing your Sonic Rainboom."

"Psh. I can do it again under zero point one second." The arrogant blue mare responded with pride while the pair walked past me, thankfully focused with talking to one another and not noticing my presence.

As they moved further into the library, I carefully walked towards the open doorway, intending to depart without informing anyone as to where I was going or what I was planning to do-

"Oh hey Stardust. Going somewhere?"

Dammit!

Slowly turning around to face the curious pair, I forced a smile on my muzzle. Not to worry, I've prepared an excuse beforehand anyway. "Only to the Sugarcube Corner to deliver these brownies." I inclined to the basket containing the fresh treats on my back.

One of the benefits of being a four-legged creature, I discovered, was how easy and more convenient it was carrying stuff on your back than with your hands.

"Oh, okay. Curious, considering until now you delivered them on a tray than a basket."

I shrugged. "Nothing wrong with spicing things up a little."

"And it looks more like a picnic basket than a delivery one."

Damn her observation... "There's a difference?"

"Isn't that a bottle of soda?" Rainbow Dash then inquired before Twilight could reply, and I slowly glanced at the plastic sticking out from the red and white blanket.

Oh fantastic.

"...You never know when I'll get thirsty on my way there." I reluctantly replied. Curse me and my love for fizzy drinks...

"But you can just have a drink when you get back-"

"Oh would you look at the time? I must take my leave. Good day you two. See ya later." I rushed out my sentences, not wanting to lose the dragon and white mare already, leaving and closing the door before the blinking pair could form any more questions or observations.

That was very close.

---

Thankfully, the short conversation with Twilight and Rainbow Dash didn't cause a wench in my plans, as following Spike and Rarity was easier than I thought; the two taking their sweet time going outside of town. I followed them from a safe distance where I could easily hide in places just in case either glanced behind them.

Of course from this respectable distance I could note the dragon repeatedly opening and closing his mouth, no doubt blabbering on about something. And poor Rarity was trying to concentrate with her horn in locating any hidden treasure.

You know, you'd think considering this out land isn't so far from the town all the jewels and gems would have been uncovered by now.

Ah, perfect. I found just the spot to observe the two and the whole landscape. That way I will have the element of surprise when those gem-seeking mutts finally turn up to try and kidnap the unicorn.

I settled down behind a sufficient spiky rock, setting the basket down, pulling the small blanket off and looked over to the pair, who seemed occupied with tracing any sort of crystal. It'll be a while before the dogs make their move, anyway. So I have time to spare.

Isn't that cute? Spike was obviously attempting to win Rarity's affections by constant chatting. News flash for you my reptillian friend; repetitive chatter doesn't swoon a woman. Or mare, if female ponies were similar in terms of romance as human women.

I carefully unscrewed the lid of my drink, taking a swig of the sustenance while watching them. Oh, they've evidently found something. Wow, can Spike dig. Twilight must have gave him the TM to do so. Now he was drooling... in the presence of Rarity- sweet Jesus that's quite a pack of gems they've uncovered!

If unicorns can find them so easily you'd think the majority would be fricking rich by now.

Spike then reluctantly placed the found gems into the carriage.

And they continued the process, the dragon digging through dirt to find the sparkling crystals and Rarity ordering him to put them in the wagon before he could get a bite out of them. All the while I was sitting back, occasionally devouring a brownie as the episode wasn't very specific in how long they were going to be here.

Still, I wasn't complaining; this was quite peaceful, even if I ducked my head multiple times whenever the pair looked in my direction. One of those few moments I can just breathe in the fresh air and enjoy the outdoors.

Now Rarity was rewarding the hungry dragon, I believe, as a particular jewel rose in the air via magic and into Spike's hands... who was too busy staring at the mare like she was nothing he has ever seen before. And as Rarity went off in evident search for the next pack of gems, the lizard was preoccupied for a moment valuing the gift bestowed to him from the walking unicorn.

I allowed my disbelief to express itself with a quiet scoff. "Tch. Sparity..."

"'Sparity'?"

Gah!

The sudden feminine voice had me quickly look behind me, facing the blue pegasus who decided to sneak up on me. I took breaths to compose myself as the flying Rainbow Dash raised a brow. "Did you really have to do that?" An indifferent shrug. "What are you even doing out here?" Hoping to find some Chaos Emeralds? As if.

"I could ask you the same thing."

"Ladies first."

"Go right ahead."

"..."

"Cat got your tongue?" I wish a cat would swipe that smirk off your face, you Sonic Ripoff. Rainbow Dash seemed unfazed by the glare, answering my previous question. "Decided to follow ya when Twilight and I noticed you were going the opposite direction of the Sugarcube Corner." My eyes narrowed further as the pegasus decided to take one of the brownies without being offered one, popping it into her mouth before joining me with looking over the rock. "So, what are yer doing spying on Rarity and Spike like this?"

Really what I needed right now to distract me. A nosy pony.

"If I said 'none of your business', would it incite you to leave?"

"Nope."

"Then I shall ask you politely; please leave me alone."

Another smirk. "Sorry Stardust, that doesn't work on me. You may as well tell me why you're watching those two. Hoping to see some romance right?"

I scoffed again. "Hardly. I don't even ship the two."

...Oh me and my big mouth.

The pegasus glanced at me with a raised brow. "'Ship'?"

I sighed tiredly. Whatever satisfied her curiosity enough to get this mare to leave. "Yes, shipping. I'm not surprised you've never heard of it."

"Well don't keep me in suspense."

"Shipping is another word for pairing; a term one uses for one's ideal couple. Basically if you 'ship' someone with another, it means you think they would make a great pairing." I explained as Rainbow Dash apparently listened, her pink-eyed gaze focused as well as my blue-green stare on the pair a distance from us. "Whether said pairing comes true or not, peop- ponies in my homeland enjoy shipping others together if it sounds plausible."

"I see..." I raised a brow as Rainbow Dash looked... contemplative? But my curiosity about it diminished the second she took another bite of the treat that wasn't hers, speaking with her mouth full of brownie. "Why?"

"...Why what?"

"Why do ponies where you're from 'ship' other ponies then?"

I shrugged, having never really thought of that question myself. "It's mostly a female activity, since shipping is based around romance."

"Okay. So then why don't you 'ship' those two then?"

"Spike and Rarity?" The mare nodded, meanwhile from the distance Spike continued digging out more gems for the white unicorn. "Oh, where do I begin... the age gap for starters. Spike is about, what, five years old? And Rarity fifteen or something-?"

"Sixteen. She'll be seventeen in three months."

"That's nice. Anyway, then we have to consider their traits and personalities; I mean, what do the two have in common other than a love for gems?"

"Well there's... go on."

This time I smirked a little, feeling triumphant this time around. "Those are my two only mere complaints about the matter, for now anyway." Which was a lie, I had other things to complain about, but not ones for Rainbow Dash's horse ears.

Two more examples in fact. One would be that Rarity, over the course of the show and according to the information of my brother, seems to take advantage of Spike's affections for her to get what she desires. The second example would be that Spike's adorable infatuation was a trope I was all too familiar with: the trope of a little boy crushing on the older teenage girl.

I have nothing against the ship. I'm not even attacking it. But I can't deny the illogical parts about it. Plus I have high doubts over that white mare and young dragon becoming an item ever happening.

Some would see this as pessimism. I prefer realism.

If some like the pairing, that's fine. I'm just indifferent and doubtful of it.

I took another swig of my refreshing drink before the mare next to me spoke up. "Well, speaking of complaints, we need to talk." The statement turned my full attention on the pegasus who was looking right back at me. Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, obviously at my expression. "Oh don't give me that look. There's just something I want answered, that's all."

"What answers could I possibly have that someone like Twilight couldn't answer for you?"

"Who you are, for example."

...I stared at the pegasus for a long moment. Who I was? "You know who I am." I lied, inwardly cursing my slight hesitation.

Did this mare suspect something about me that the others never noticed?

She rolled her pink eyes, frowning at me. "Well yeah, but there are things about you that don't add up. Stuff Twilight has said about you to me and the girls and the things we've seen you do that honestly make no sense."

To you perhaps. I raised a brow regardless. "Such as?"

"You knew what the sixth Element of Harmony was, for example, as well as knowing about Nightmare Moon's return. And that you held your own against an ursaminor, a dragon and a hydra. And you refuse to give Twilight answers about it."

"That's because it's quite frankly, none of her business; just as it isn't any of yours." I frowned in turn.

But the pegasus didn't take the hint to back down. "Who are you, Stardust Balance, really? We know so little about you, where you come from and how you're able to fight against powerful creatures all by yourself."

"Does it really matter?" Really, does it?

"Of course it does!" The pegasus proceeded to raise her arms up in exaggeration. "Do you expect us to not wonder about these things you won't tell?"

"Well none of you but Twilight ever asks about those events so-"

"So nothing; you're hiding something from us. And we're going to find out what it is." I raised a brow at the tone. Was she threatening me? "You're no ordinary pony."

"No one is ordinary my dear-"

"Don't you try to be formal with me." I blinked at the snappish attitude Rainbow Dash was showing. She pointed a hoof straight at my chest. "That might work on Twilight and the others, but I' m not so gullible-"

"Could've fooled me." I snapped in annoyance, an urge to fight back against this pestering pegasus rising up. If it's a verbal fight she wanted I will gladly oblige.

"Now you listen here you-!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

A scream of horror more convincing than Darth Vader's alerted our attention then to the dragon responsible for screaming it. Said lizard had his fists in the air as he yelled in sorrow and terror, and I instantly knew what occurred.

Oh for the love of-!

"Nice going Rainbow Dash!"

I yelled in disdain to the blinking pegasus while leaping over the rock, running towards the shocked Spike who turned at the sound of my hoof-steps. Curse that damn mare for distracting me with mere suspicions, now Rarity has evidently been abducted by those mangy talking mutts due to allowing myself in arguing with Rainbow Dash.

The dragon's eyes widened in relief and surprise as the blue pegasus and I approached him hurriedly."S-Stardust! Rainbow Dash!" Spike stammered out before standing and gesturing to the hole I assume the mare was taken into. "R-R-Rarity! She's! I-! They-!"

I raised a hoof to cut him off, which he obliged rather quickly as I then glanced to the flying pegasus. "Fetch Twilight and the others."

It's time for Plan B.

Rainbow Dash scoffed. "You know I can just go down there and get Rarity out five seconds flat-"

"Twilight. Others. Now."

She blinked, obviously at the growl of my tone, before slowly nodding. "Alright... don't fret Spike; I'll get the others and we'll get Rarity out in no time!" Rainbow Dash announced with determination before zooming off into the skies, in the direction of the distant Ponyville.

Good, that got rid of her.

"I-I tried to stop them, Stardust." The defeated tone caused me to looked down at the distressed and frantic dragon. "Really I did. But there were three of them and they had the jump on us and-!"

"I don't need excuses." I said firmly as Spike continued staring at the dirt underneath us. Right then, time to boost this infant dragon's morale, by placing a hoof gently on his shoulder, causing him to look back up at me. I released a small smile to help ease the boy's nerves. "I need resolve and courage, Spike. We will rescue Rarity, together. But I need you to do exactly as I say, alright?"

"But... what about Twilight, Rainbow Dash and the others?"

"What about them?" I asked seriously, glancing over to the hole behind the uncomprehending lizard. "I already have a plan; one that doesn't require their assistance. But I need you to trust me. Can you do that?"

"Of course." Spike replied instantly. Wait, seriously? That easily? "Whatever it takes to save Rarity."

Ah.

My smile widened at the innocent resolve. "Very good. Hop aboard." For once, just this once, I permitted the dragon to sit on my caped back, the circumstance being I'd hate to see Spike hurt himself depending how deep the hole was.

Now, normally, I wouldn't even consider guiding a child down with me into potential danger. But I had no doubt Spike would follow me regardless instead of waiting for his mistress and her friends while I went down to begin my rescue operation, so I may as well take him along. By the time Twilight and the others get here, the Diamond Dogs would have created those multiple holes filled with dirt to keep them at bay.

Operation Negotiation is a go.

And my only thought while descending the hole was "Whee!"

---

Well, I should do that again sometime soon. Dirty hole or not, that slide was quite fun; the only negative being Spike yelling a second "No!" when we saw the multiple paths before us afterwards. It's a shame we can't be here long too, I like tunnels.

"Look at all these gems!" Spike exclaimed beside me as we traversed through the wide tunnels created by the dogs, pointing at many of the crystals sticking out of the blue filthy walls. I nodded, wondering why on Earth they would even need Rarity if they had all these gems, evidently enough to make them billionaires?

Or maybe the currency regarding gems worked differently in Equestria.

"Stick close to me." I ordered quietly. "Who knows where these multiple tunnels lead us to." Right now I was just following my own instincts. So far we haven't reached any dead ends as of yet so we might be getting somewhere.

From the corner of my right eye Spike nodded. "Gotcha." Then he proceeded to whisper a vow. "Don't worry Rarity, we'll save you. Just hang in there."

"She'll be fine, Spike." I assured him, glancing at the straight-forward dragon. "I doubt those dogs will do her any physical harm."

Yet he wasn't the least bit convinced, gesturing in a dramatic fashion. "You don't know that; what if they're torturing her?! What if they're forcing her to find gems for them?! What if... what if...!"

"Spike." I cut him off sternly, shaking my head at the exaggeration. "There's no need for theatrics. Besides, if they are doing bad things to her, wouldn't at least hear her scream-" Or whine, "- right now? These tunnels look as though they could echo for miles." I commented thoughtfully. Surely we will be able to hear the complaining unicorn sooner than later, due to her nature.

"I guess..." Spike then looked at me as we passed through another of the dark tunnels, the only light illuminating the underground being the sparkling crystals. "Do you know where we're going?"

"...No."

"Oh... so how will we find her?"

"With patience, my friend. No doubt sooner than later we'll hear Rarity or the mutts that have kidnapped her. We'll follow the noise towards our destination."

"Oh, I get it! So what do we when we get there? Will you beat up the Diamond Dogs with your awesome super strength while I rescue Rarity?"

I chuckled a little, the mental imagine making the idea sound even more tempting. "Not quite, Spike. Hopefully this plan will be successful without any resort to violence."

Because, you know, I'm quite tired now of resolving these matters with thrusting my hooves into someone's face. I recall my negotiation tactic almost working with Nightmare Moon. But she had fallen too far into the darkness to see reason without the help of Twilight and her friends.

The Diamond Dogs, however, unlike Nightmare Moon, were mindless brutes who desired nothing more than gems. I... we can save the dirt-paranoid mare without landing a single punch on anyone keeping her from us.

Of course if that doesn't work... then may God have mercy on their souls. Because they'll either need saving from me... or Rarity.

Really I'll be doing them a favour.

"So what's the plan then?"

"I'll explain the details once we find Rarity and her abductors, whilst finding a spot to hide in so we can plan from there."

"Alright... but why don't you just fight them all head-on? I mean, you faced an ursaminor, a dragon and a hydra, and lived! This will be nothing to you." The lizard exclaimed in ignorance.

I sighed. "Spike, let me tell you something about myself; I don't like fighting. My combat against those creatures were last resorts to save you and the ponies or buy you all time. I have no thrill out of immediately fighting someone, no matter the urge. If we come to a standstill with those mutts, I will do what I must. But right now I want to approach a more subtle solution."

"Like what, talking to them?" Spike joked.

"...Yes."

"Oh..." The dragon said nothing for a long moment after that blunt serious answer from yours truly, looking down as though processing such a possibility.

"Not everything has to be solved by punches, my friend."

"You're right... but, are you sure we can't do that this one time? I mean, who knows what they'll do to Rarity if we don't stop them as quick as possible!"

I raised a brow. "Don't allow your emotions to cloud your judgement, Spike. Your affection for Rarity might bring unjust punishment to the dogs if they haven't doing anything to her at all."

For all the faults of the Jedi, they were right in the regard that one shouldn't use their own feelings to cast justifiable punishment onto anyone.

"I guess... but there's still one thing I don't understand."

"What might that be?"

"What were you and Rainbow Dash doing nearby? You came here just as soon as Rarity was kidnapped."

Oh, I had this excuse prepared. "Gut feeling." I replied, forcing casualness into my lying tone. "Not long after you and Rarity left, I had a feeling something wrong was going to occur to either you or her." Lie. "So I asked Twilight for directions as to where you two were going." Lie. "And as soon as I arrived I saw Rarity get abducted by the Diamond Dogs." Lie. "And Rainbow Dash followed me because she enjoys bothering me." Truth.

"Okay. Well I'm glad you turned up. For all my strengths, I can't do this on my own. With you by my side, Stardust, we'll be invincible." Whatever you say Spike. I smirked a little as the baby dragon then pulled out a sapphire gem from God-Knows-Where, clutching it tightly to his chest. "Rarity my sweet. May this gem help us find you further-"

"I beg your pardon; but what pray tell are you doing?!"

The familiar classy voice of the unicorn we were seeking out caused us to snap our heads towards the tunnel the sound emitted from, quickly glancing at each other in realization.

"Stardust, that's-!"

"Come on." I said while rushing towards that direction, following the continuous voices to help our search further.

"Diggers will dig; you will hold the wagon."

This might be easier than I thought.

---

This WAS easier than I anticipated.

"When was the last time you two had a manicure? You're scratching my coat with those damaged things."

"They dare touch her? Rarity, I'm co-! Mmph?!" My hoof quickly shut Spike up, the pair of us hiding behind a corner as Rarity was busy being cornered and served into service by the Diamond Dogs.

...Well, at least that was what they were attempting to get accomplished.

"Please be quiet!"

"How dare he tell my Rarity to be qui-! Mmph. Mmmmph!" I quickly clamped his mouth shut again as we observed the scene before us, the full extent of my plan already playing in my mind.

"Good heavens what is that smell?!"

As Rarity dealt with being an inconvenience to the mutts, I withdrew my head and turned to look at Spike, with a stern expression. "Now I'm going to release your mouth, but afterwards I expect no loud comments. Understood?" As he nodded I did as promised, the dragon staring at me with impatience. "Good, now then, here's the plan: I will distract those brutes while you carefully, and quietly, slither around and free Rarity from that attachment. Then I want you two to get out of here as fast as you can."

"No problem sir." Spike saluted, fully prepared to save his waifu at all costs. But some sense of reality snapped him out of it. "Wait, what about you?"

"I'll be fine."

"The last time you said that I remember you getting several injuries."

"Trust me, I won't be getting any this time. Alright?"

Spike stared for a long moment, before finally nodding in obedience. He turned around and took a few steps back for me to begin my plan while I turned back and rubbed my two front hooves together.

Alright then... no regrets!

"Diamond Dogs." Their attention immediately turned on me as I stepped out of the shadows, revealing myself with firm determination. I just have to keep their focus on me, but first I needed to draw them away from any line of sight towards the doorway for Spike to get through without notice.

"Who are you?"

"It's an intruder!"

"Stardust!" Rarity called out in relief. "Am I happy to see you. You must save me from these vile filthy mutts!"

I nodded to the dramatic unicorn, before turning my attention back to the mutts. "An intruder? Hardly." I scoffed lightly, carefully walking towards them as the three dogs stared at me warily. "My name is Stardust Balance. I come here on good terms, and have a proposition for the likes of you three."

"Hah. What kind of proposition could a mere pony like you have for us?"

I smiled. "I'm glad you asked, my friend." Before clearing my throat for the upcoming bull-[BEEP] I was about to spew out, casually walking to the side of one wall of the prison cell to direct their view away from the sneaking in dragon.

"By Equestrian Law, Section B, Article ten, eleven, thirty-eight: you have violated pony rights by abducting Miss Rarity here and forcing her against her will to seek out treasures you can find well enough on your own. You are to release her at once. Should you comply, you will be pardoned for these crimes and be issued a warning."

It's always great when you're planning ahead and know what's coming.

The tall lean dog sneered. "Or else what, you pony? What happens if we say no to your demands?"

I raised a brow, keeping my eyes on the three while not allowing said eyes to wander to the stealthy Spike who was currently walking behind the three towards the grinning Rarity, who was evidently pleased to see him. "Are you three aware that this unicorn you are holding captive happens to be close friends with the student of Princess Celestia?"

"No... but what of it?" The middle fat one asked rudely. Wow, uncomprehending or just plain stupidity? Both I imagined.

"Well, I imagine that student, or the monarch in question, will not be quite pleased to hear a royal subject of hers being kidnapped by some ruffians who reside underground, would she not? And her student must already be informed by now what you have done. So riddle me this: how long do you think you have before the full might of the Canterlot Kingdom is brought down upon you?"

This time the imagination of such had their eyes widened, and I repressed grinning in satisfaction. Ohh the fear of force, rather than force itself, can be quite useful. Thank you Tarkin.

"So, what do you say my friends? Would you rather face the entire might of a kingdom, or release this poor mare and hunt after your precious gems yourselves?" You Gollam ripoffs.

For a long tedious moment the three Diamond Dogs merely stared at me, as though unable to form a coherent response to the fabricated threat presented against them. Meanwhile Spike carefully lifted the attachment off Rarity, who nodded with the dragon before both proceeded to sneak past the dumb mutts.

Attaboy Spike.

The dogs then looked at each other, and I attempted not to wince at the possibility of the mare and dragon being caught by the corner of their eyes. Finally the tall lean canine cleared his rough throat. "Ahem. Maybe we have been too hasty in getting some help for finding our gems. Could you maybe ask the Princess's student to call off the kingdom from attacking us."

"That depends gentlemen, on if you agree to these following terms." This was working. This was ACTUALLY progressing just fine! I look forward to leaving afterwards and showing Spike that negotiation can be a key out of situations like this.

"Uhh, and what are those?"

"The kidnapping of ponies? Stop. Becoming a nuisance to the residents of Ponyville? Enough. Forcing labour onto them? Never again. If I ever hear of any activity or abductions from the likes of you or your kind again, neither I nor Canterlot will spare any mercy towards your pitiful existences. Am I clear?"

"As crystal." The three nodded vigorously. They were dumb, indeed, but not idiotic enough to take on an entire kingdom... or me. As the tall lean one, obviously the leader, gestured for the small one to release Rarity.

Said small mutt then released a sharp gasp. "Hey! Where'd she go?!"

"Oh look at that." I smirked as the three looked around wildly for the missing unicorn. "I guess she used our talk as a means to escape."

The leader seemed to grasp the implications, funny enough, and pointed at me with renewed anger. "You tricked us!"

"Tricked, moi? Never. My threat holds truth, and you already agreed to my terms, no?" I inquired rhetorically before turning to leave. "Like I said, if I ever hear any of you doing this kind of violation against rights again, none of you will wish you were ever born to begin with."

Besides, I saved their hides more than I saved Rarity's.

I smiled, reveling in my glorious and well thought-out triumph as I heard the disbelieving snarls of the dogs I left behind. My plan actually worked, what do ya know? And no violence nor torture had to be utilized at all. I felt rather accomplished for the day. These savage canines weren't stupid enough to believe themselves invulnerable from the might of Celestia, thankfully, despite all that being a lie.

There are most bad days. And some good days. This was one of the latter.

Now how the hell do I...?

I glanced over my shoulder. "Oh, if you happen to have directions to the nearest exit, that would be greatly appreciated." And then another idea hit me as I glanced at the wagon. "And as compensation for kidnapping the poor mare..."

---

"So let me get this straight." Applejack said slowly after the fire ponies ceased embracing Rarity and we told the tale of what happened, evidently desiring all the exact details. "Spike, ya tricked and showed an entire army of Diamond Dogs the ol' what for, all by yerself, and rescued Rarity without even breakin' a sweat."

"Yep."

Rainbow Dash asked next, "And Stardust, you got separated from Spike and got yourself lost during your way to Rarity's location, so you weren't there to back up Spike when he beat up all them mutts. Instead you found this entire wagon filled with all these gems." She gestured to the wagon in question I brought back up with me, filled up with the jewels I practically forced the Diamond Dogs to find around their cave.

"Correct."

"And Rarity." Twilight continued after the pegasus. "You can verify this story, as you have seen it with your own eyes."

"Indeed." The white unicorn nodded, slipping into the tale the three of us fabricated on our way out of the tunnels after I had caught up with them. "Oh you should have seen how brave and strong Spike was, Twilight. You should be proud."

We were all currently outside the dirty terrain where the Diamond Dogs resided underground, having met up with the mares as we left the tunnels. It was quite easy walking back up, thanks to the directions the reluctant dogs provided me with. During our time up we conjured a false tale over what occurred within the lair of those filthy mutts, which I concluded by saying Spike did all the work and saved the damsel in distress.

Of course the two objected to giving Spike the whole credit, saying I did my part in distracting the dogs and, admittedly, completed most of the work. But I managed to persuade the two to go with my version of the conclusion.

Spike was the hero today. He saved Rarity personally. I made myself bait to keep the dogs preoccupied.

And it worked. Fantastically it worked! For once, just this once, something went my way!

"I am proud." Twilight countered, frowning at the three of us doubtfully. "But you'll have to forgive me if I find it hard to believe the validity of your story."

"Ah, well believe all you wish." I said, patting Spike's head to express how proud I was of the beaming dragon. "He was really brave today, and saved Rarity all by himself."

That was true, Spike was strong-willed today and had enough courage to sneak by the rough-appearing dogs an, get that attachment to the wagon off Rarity and escort away from the mutt's location. Really, in the end, it's saving the girl that counts.

Whether I ship Sparity or not, you earned the heroism today buddy.

Fluttershy chose then to speak up, making a sound suggestion. "Well, I think we should celebrate Spike's bravery somehow."

"Great idea Fluttershy!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, and I think we all knew her proposal. "Let's celebrate with a party!"

As I observed the mares conversing with one another and congratulating the grinning Spike for his bravery, I felt a tug to my arm as Rarity said quietly. "Stardust, a word if I may?" I nodded, following the unicorn to the side away from sufficient hearing distance of the ponies. By God, if she asks about how I arrived to help rescue her so early- "Why do you not take the credit as well?"

Oh.

"Hm?" I looked at Rarity curiously.

The unicorn inclined her head to the talkative dragon. "You allow Spike to take all the credit, when you have done just as much to save me from those dreadful disgusting mutts. So why don't you allow yourself into the spotlight too?"

I smirked slightly. "I have no idea what you're talking about, my dear; it was Spike, after all, who saved the damsel today. Not I."

"Yet you thought of the whole plan. You distracted those canines to allow Spike to free and escort me out. You deserve the fame today as much as he does."

"Oh trust me, I don't." I sighed as we looked over to the group, mainly on the smiling lizard. "Spike is more of a hero than I can ever be. I was simply the background dancer of this plan."

I wasn't even being modest here. That dragon deserves way more fame than myself. Today he saved the fair maiden from the clutches of greedy canines, as was all part of Plan B. Though none of this would have happened had Rainbow Dash not preoccupy my time with her drivel.

"Interesting analogy, but still, I must thank you somehow for helping him rescue me."

Tch. If anyone should be thanking me for anything, it should be the Diamond Dogs. I saved their arses from a torturous afternoon with a whiny Rarity. Where's my reward for helping the bad guys today?

I was about to make a dismissive reply before an idea hit me. "Actually, I think you can..." The unicorn turned to me curiously as I thought about it. "As you are aware, Spike holds... quite an affection towards you."

"Ah. Yes I'm quite aware of Spike's feeling towards me." Who wouldn't be? Rarity smiled in amusement. "You wish for me to take him on a date or something similar to that effect?"

"Not quite." I answered, turning my expression to seriousness, so this unicorn was aware what I had to say was without humour. "As you know, Spike is young... and naive. He doesn't know better. So I'm asking- no, imploring you, Rarity, not to take advantage of Spike's affections for your own ends."

The unicorn blinked, obviously having no expectation of such a request. "What in all of Equestria makes you think I would ever do something like that?"

"I mean it Rarity." I frowned sternly. "It's easy to manipulate someone like Spike. He's only a child still, and I would hate to see him get used around like a puppet."

"Done." I raised a brow at the instant firm reply. Rarity looked just as serious. "If that is your wish, so be it. I shall never use Spike's affection for my own benefits. You have my word."

I smiled slightly at the formal bow, nodding in appreciation. "Thank you Rarity."

"I should be thanking you Stardust, for helping Spike rescue me." The white classy mare smiled before turning to depart. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I must find that wheel wagon with all those gems we've uncovered today. Oh, you wouldn't mind sharing some of those gems you've 'found', correct?"

"Not really. Take them all." I nodded in farewell to the grateful grinning unicorn, returning my gaze to the group who continued chatting away, my eyes focused on the only odd one out while ignoring the intense stares of an orange Earth Pony and blue pegasus. You're welcome Spike, I prevented any attempt of Rarity in the future of using you as a means to an end.

I am no hero. But I do my damn best to help others.

---

I've taken this world for granted.

By that, I mean I've taken this world's beautiful landscapes for granted. I've been so focused on being moody, grumpy and exhausted to even take notice of the lush grass, forests and mountains terrains surrounding this town. I recall briefly thinking about the beauty of Canterlot once, but that was to help cast aside any nervousness I felt for meeting a certain monarch.

Didn't work.

Where was I? Ah yes, the land surrounding me.

In England there was plenty of lush vast landscapes, but I never really stood within one; having returned to this hill I visited once admist my frustration at Twilight and the others for making me that party.

The glaring sunset helped make this location all the more a sight to behold. My eyes wandered all over while I sat straight, the sight of where I looked last time I visited here to help calm me down, this time munching on the remaining brownies from this afternoon, and drinking the rest of the soda.

This was where Twilight and I made that deal... a deal I honestly completely forgot about.

Anyway, any fear or paranoia I held over the results of my conversation with Celestia a short while ago vanquished over the triumphant glee I had over today. It was already evening and I could wipe the great smile off my face for what I've done to help them. Not only did I rescue one life today, but a whole lot more.

Those Diamond Dogs would have been kissing my hooves by now if they learnt of the torture I saved them from.

"Thought I'd find you here."

The young dragon's voice had me tilt my head to the approaching smiling lizard. "I've only been here twice now Spike?"

"It's where you went the last time there was a party in the library." He shrugged. deciding to sit beside me for some reason with a half-eaten gem in his hand.

I raised a brow. "Speaking of which, don't you have a party hosted for you to enjoy?"

"I told Twilight there was something I needed to do, and snuck out when everyone was preoccupied with pinning the tail on the pony."

I snorted at the last sentence. "Fair enough. So what brings you here then, Spike?"

"Well, I was wondering..."

I sighed, already getting the idea. "Let me guess; you ponder over why I let you take all the credit for today?"

"...Pretty much."

I smiled slightly at the meek answer, shaking my head in exasperation. "Because you deserve the credit, Spike, you saved Rarity."

"Only because of your plan."

"You did most of the work."

"Actually, you did most of the work, all I did was sneak Rarity out of there while you threatened those dogs with pony right or something like that."

The scene of which replayed in my mind, inciting a chuckle. "Yes well... you score the most points for being the one physically responsible for saving the damsel in distress." I took a swig of my almost empty drink, the cool liquid helping me with facing the setting sun. "Still, I can't believe my plan completely worked. And here I honestly though something was bound to wrong."

"...Can I be honest?"

"Sure Spike."

"So did I."

I chuckled again as Spike laughed a little, smiling down at the lizard who took another chuck out of the gem. "Still, I am very proud of you Spike. You carried out your part with bravery and without hesitation. If anyone deserves a party today, it's you."

"...Thanks Stardust." A quiet modest response. I proceeded to pat the kid's head again to show just how proud I was of him, as he then swiped my hoof off me in embarrassment. Adorable; more humble than my own little sister at least. "I'll return the favour, someday."

I smiled, rather flattered by the vow. "I'm sure you will my friend."

"Though, I don't think Twilight believed any of that story."

I snorted loudly, returning my gaze to the far-off beautiful forests and mountains. "I don't believe a single one of them did. Pinkie Pie maybe, but I wouldn't worry about it too much. Matters such as this will be dropped sooner than later, as I've noted during my time in this world."

"I guess so." Spike replied thoughtfully, before some thought occurred to him which incited a snort of his own. "Still, 'how long do you think you have before the full might of the Cantelot Kingdom is brought down upon you'? Did you really to be so theatrical?"

I raised a humoured brow at the irony. "This coming from the guy who yelled out a loud dramatic 'no' not once, but twice."

"Hey, in my defense she was-!"

"I know Spike." I laughed lightly. "I know. I probably would have done the same thing if someone close to me was abducted."

"Oh. Really?"

"No."

Comments

[Texus]

"Spike and Rarity?" The mare nodded, meanwhile from the distance Spike continued digging out more gems for the white unicorn. "Oh, where do I begin... the age gap for starters. Spike is about, what, five years old? And Rarity fifteen or something-?"

"Sixteen. She'll be seventeen in three months."

"That's nice. Anyway, then we have to consider their traits and personalities; I mean, what do the two have in common other than a love for gems?"

"Well there's... go on."

This time I smirked a little, feeling triumphant this time around. "Those are my two only mere complaints about the matter, for now anyway." Which was a lie, I had other things to complain about, but not ones for Rainbow Dash's horse ears.

No other character, has ever said that much what I more or less think too.

I have nothing against the ship. I'm not even attacking it. But I can't deny the illogical parts about it. Plus I have high doubts over that white mare and young dragon becoming an item ever happening.

I still think the same.

I still wish there would be some hint for the romance again, I like it slow, but suddenly I would like to see someone taking the first step.

[Darkheretic]

Ya the spike x rarity ship is up there on my "you don't really get shipping do you?" List because besides spike crushing on rarity I don't see any reason for them to get together and the same goes for all the ships that seem to go under the "opposites attract" banner I.e. celestiaxdiscord, twilight discord, twilight big Mac etc.

[Snow]

I'm not really sure how much younger than Twilight Spike really is. For all we know, she hatched him when she was five and she's like, 20. So the age gap might not be more than a few years, which isn't all that great if you think about it.

The biggest roadblock in my mind, honestly, is that whatever Spike's age, he just isn't mature enough for that kind of relationship as it is.

Also, dragons can live to be very very very very old. What if he stays a 'baby' dragon until he's like... 30?

[SWEETOLEBOB18]

7161731
The key here is "How long before the pilot did the first Rainboom occur?" (As seen in The Cutie Mark Chronicles (S1 E23)). IMO, that was Summer, 11 years before the pilot (give or take a year). Twilight would have been 4-6 years old (depending if she was applying to kindergarten or first grade). So, she was 15-17 during the pilot (IRL, about the age Joan of Arc was when she started her career). I've got a chain of logic to support that belief on my blog.

Given the probable lifespan of Dragons, Spike is younger than the Cake twins. So, yes, Spike is a baby dragon

[Icy Creation]

"I know Spike." I laughed lightly. "I know. I probably would have done the same thing if someone close to me was abducted."

"Oh. Really?"

"No."

That sounds like me.

Ian however, would have said yes and meant it.
He wouldnt have lied, he would have just put them in stasis for the day. Or he would have made them float for the day.