• Published 2nd Feb 2015
  • 18,451 Views, 1,952 Comments

A Journey Beyond Sanity - Darkwing Dust



Somehow transported from our world to Equestria, a young man unwillingly arrives in the form of an Earth Pony. Join us as we explore Stardust Balance's adventures, aiding the Mane Six throughout the seasons, discovering friendship... And love.

  • ...
 1,952
 18,451

PreviousChapters Next
Chapter 187: The Soul of Wit

"See? I told you this was great stress relief!"

"Hm, so you did son." Had to confess, as I smiled humouredly in affectionate gratitude to this little bundle of joy with scales. Passing back the ball from my spot on the other side of the front lawn. "Just make sure that clown never invokes a discussion with me again."

Spike chuckled lightly, albeit with some sheepish nervousness. "Heheh, not sure you could really call what happened back there a 'discussion,' Dad."

Well... He wasn't entirely wrong, if it's to believe by my attempt of being calm and civil vanquished almost entirely, not to mention instantly, from the previous conversation with another equine whom I only got acquainted with today after hearing SO much about from Pinkie, whom had shared my misgivings.

"One could call it progress, Spike... Though the same can't be said for that impersonator." Us two having had the 'pleasure' of getting introduced by Maud's new boyfriend earlier today. One sentence in, and it was officially how much I hated the stallion.

I mean... My God. Wow! That Sheldon-wannabe just knew how to push people's buttons without even trying-!

Newfound, restored reflexes swiftly catching the ball, the young dragon son smirking faintly. "No getting distracted Dad."

"If I was getting distracted, son, I wouldn't have caught that meager throw so easily." Was my playful taunt back, inciting Spike's grin to widen in teasing challenge, a shared expression from a tightly-close bond.

Throwing the ball back and forth following our light banter, Spike's idea was working its charm; a nice, quiet afternoon of father-son bonding, radiating my heart in pure elated satisfaction. Grand idea Spike, and it highlighted my day knowing he wanted to make someone he considered like that feel better immediately.

Despite the next following taunt almost implying otherwise, since I had to leap a little to catch that next throw. "Ha! Maybe you're just getting sloppy. Don't tell me you were so out of exercise without that gold-coat bearded mess Mom complains a lot about?" My own lips curled with devious grinning by his fond challenging expression.

Big mistake Spike. "It's on now..." I growled with amused acceptance, the following throw of the round bouncy item prompting the ill-prepared dragon to jump up himself to grab the hurled ball with both claws... Skidding his scaly back across soft grass in response. He'll be alright, didn't throw it THAT hard.

...I hoped.

Evidently, of course, Spike was unharmed, raising up the ball in self-congratulations and a pleased grin as though winning some kind of marathon. But hey, if it makes my kid happy, I approached with my own warm beaming, patting the green scales that count for lizard hair atop my proud son's head in amused affection, having missed this for eight months.

Ten months now, to be more precise, two since my return back home. Let me just say, almost feels like nothing's changed. Minus a few things...

Which one of them spoke up from the front castle doors. "Spike." Twilight called, prompting us to turn towards the Princess standing atop the steps, offering her own fond light smile the dragon's way. "Could you go check with Rarity about those school uniforms ideas we've discussed last evening? Just need to know what she's cooked up thus far."

Code, as always when the 'R' word was mentioned, for Spike to keep himself preoccupied away from something that wasn't for his ears. Spike lit up more like a Christmas tree, setting the ball and offering myself a playful salute, before hurrying down towards the peaceful-for-now Ponyville where his waifu awaited.

Kids. I observed the eager youthful dragon with affectionate humour before turning to regard the love of my life, whom was watching Spike leave herself with a tender smile of adored love. Yep, still felt as though nothing changed too much.

Something however, at that moment, did alter from the sudden softened expression my way, followed by Twilight tilting her head, cutely I might add, obviously contemplating for a moment. Proceeded by closed eyes, a deep breath, exhale, finally looking back at me with a solemn approach. "We need to talk."

Oh... So it wasn't just me suddenly bubbling apprehensive dread in the pit of my heart for this overdue conversation.


Long, long overdue discussion, something I continued onwards in self-reminding following this equally nervous mare, whom was concealing it outwardly better than my self-pitying state. Twilight proceeded to escort her warrior somewhere safe and completely secluded, away from the castle and Ponyville, from entirely prying eyes and eavesdropping ears, down a pathway soon to area I was all but familiar with.

Of course... Makes sense, this talk which had been months in making to take place here, of all locations. Where it all technically first started, where first-reflection and deep, thought-provoking conversations regularly took root when it needed to be so private and deep.

The, self-named, Star Hill. Overlooking the many grassland fields, forests and mountains from far off in the middle in this nice, pleasantly-atmosphere of a day. Where I first confessed to Twilight about my problems with making friends, about accepting to open my heart again. A location I took when pitying myself or planning some painful plot which would only result in hurting others, myself the most. That's not to say this modest hill, which from behind also displays the humble equine town close by beautifully too, hasn't had its good moments in memories either.

Picnics and stargazing often took root here, public or private, between only myself and my deepest, closest friends. Now, another, brand new private moment was to take root. Deservedly so. Let's hope I'll live long enough to tell the tale, eh? This was likely the most fragile our bond would become ever since season three... Oh boy.

I heaved a quiet sigh, just as we reached atop the grassy hill overseeing a breathtaking landscape, Twilight not exactly turning away yet, evidently having a moment of composing thoughts and emotion before we get started. Knowing her, my Princess may present a flat-out full list which rolls from up here all the way to Town Hall in the center of Ponyville regarding everything I did wrong and how I could possibly redeem myself. If it starts with my proposing to her two minutes after our long-awaited reunion, I was going to literally roll down this hill myself.

Heheh... Don't mind me, just trying to lighten the mood whilst praying for my own survival in spite of deserving whatever this creative, powerful mare throws my way.

What felt like eternity passed, before the Bearer of Magic finally turned to face me, prompting my stiffened stance. This was it, the moment I've been both anticipating and afraid for in simultaneous balance, bottom hoofs quivering slightly while struggling somewhat to remain emotionally prepared by whatever Twilight was about to say. What happens now, determines our very future, and damn was I lucky enough for things to stay as they were up to this point. Crucial moment, couldn't or shouldn't [BEEP] it up this time around.

Finally, my beloved Twilight Sparkle spoke. "You're right, this would be the moment I'd begin ranting and raving for your horrible actions ten months ago. Normally, I zap you with so much magic you'd be coughing out pixie dust for the next four weeks and flinching in reaction for whenever we're in close proximity of one another. The moment I'd commence proclaiming you as the worst special somepony ever, human or no, and declare that no amount of apologizing or efforts of amending things could ever repair the hole you carved in my heart, and our friends, since you foolishly departed on some self-pitying quest for fixing mistakes by yourself, contradicting every. Single. Thing I've done to teach you that there were better means."

Ruthless, and how callously, calm and thoroughly composed, Twilight was saying without batting an eye only made things exemplify in terms of scariness, my gold stallion body leaning back a little and practically close in rolling painfully down and hoping the concussion would spare me from a worse fate.

"...However." However? This I blinked at with surprise, the tiniest bubble of hope surfacing that I may escape this scene unscathed. But Twilight maintained the balanced, if not sterner expression on beautiful features then. "I'm giving you one chance, to stop me from saying or doing any of that. One opportunity for you to say something that might - if only by a marginal might - spare you from my justified ire and give the slightest consideration on forgiving you for a start for your heinous crimes that fateful night. I'll give you a moment to think carefully on this matter, Jack, but you have to understand..." Expression, by a slice, became more gentler, along with the resigned feminine tone. "What you say here and now, as you believe, will change everything."

One chance... One chance, alright. Yeah, that I could work with. A whole moment to think for myself and find the perfect solution in amending the wrongs I had brought upon this angel, our son and the very friends we cherish equally? All that had to be done was express my regret the most efficient, and apologetic way possible, and then I could earn her total forgiveness.

...Except...

...

...

...

"I can't." My heart spoke, tender and acknowledging the lone, awful fact, regarding my Princess with a somber muzzle. "Nothing I could ever say or do would ever begin to make up for deceiving you that day, Twilight..." A prompted sigh of despair, never taking my eyes off hers for the full truth to come out. "Arrogance, the strive for independence, overconfidence and the loathing to burden people. The great natural traits and downfall of men. I had succumbed to those time and time... Just as I will continue to without intent. I'm not perfect Twilight; quite frankly, despite all the amazing things you've all taught me, the lessons of friendship, improving as a person, finding my true calling, I don't think I'll ever truly become better than what I already am."

Happy, Starswirl? Was I happy even? Who was happy anymore? Bring me back to season four, I beg of someone.

"So... No, I can't make up for what I've done by words or actions, regardless how much I tried," Was the sole, overall conclusion, my pathetic self offering the faintest of wry, accepting grins. "You were right, Twilight, as always... I'm the biggest fool out there who doesn't appreciate what he always had... I deserve whatever punishment you have in mind for me..."

Should I bow my head? Seems almost redundant, an echo of our conversation that night of reunion. No, I kept the contact of hazel to violet, somewhat holding my breath as Twilight stared at me, long and thoughtful, expression betraying little and revealing almost nothing. Our bond may be close as to sense each other's thoughts and emotions - quite literally - but the perfect Princess wasn't allow me to pick up on anything the following moment.

Until, at last, she smiled, small but genuine in relieved satisfaction. Satisfaction? What the heck was she satisfied about-?

"Admitting I'm right..." A soft lavender hoof cupping my pony cheek. "That's all I needed to hear..." What? Wait what? Twilight smiled in amused affection by my outward, and inward, honestly baffled reaction, thankfully explaining herself further. "All you had to do, was finally rid of that stubborn pride and confess I was right about everything. That's all it took, Jack..."

But... What... No... Hang on... Wait...! My face was a torrent of unique expressive feelings, ranging from earnest confusion to flabbergasted hope. Did that mean, I dared to dream, Twilight Sparkle DID forgive me, fully? Was it a test, did I pass without realizing? What the Hell was going on?!

From another answer, this time slightly more intimate, a gentle peck to the top of my equine nose, Twilight stepping back then with a rather pleased grin, proceeded next by a nod. "I forgot how cute you look when you're taken off-guard so unexpectedly." Well I... Ah...! Twilight chuckled some more, followed by a shake of the head. "Let me clarify, Jack; as I said just earlier, whatever you say next affects the future, and it seems fate's on your side... Or is it balance?"

Her pondering meant little by my own, deeply exhaling reaction and clutching my golden furry chest in sheer relief and relaxation, that burden in my chest which had progressively climbed from the walk all the way up here. So I wasn't about to be put through the worst, hellish state of affairs for my own narcissistic behaviour ages back?

Thank God these ponies, especially this wonderful, beautiful mare, were so forgiving-

"You'd still do anything to repent for your errors, yes?" Twilight suddenly asked then, as though sensing my overjoyed thoughts.

I hastily nodded, eager to please at this point. "Absolutely. Everything I can to make up for what happened to you and our friends by my own hand... Hoof." Growing accustomed to using that for addressing the end of my limb again.

Twilight grinned, rather mischievously, and suddenly I felt my heart chill again. "Excellent. Then we can get started." Started? Started on what-?

Suddenly, finding myself along with Twilight into the castle kitchen and- Jesus! Mop, bucket of soapy water and dust cleaner abruptly thrust into my front limbs, Twilight smirking lightly following a sly, casual piece of entrancing voice.

"You may begin with your first day of the following month in making amends to everypony by completely all of Spike's chores for the next few days. I want every piece of our castle scrubbed and mopped clean, no corner left untouched. If you manage not to fall down from exhaustion by the fourth day, I might become more lenient." Twilight concluded with a coy wink, reminiscent of... Myself. "Good luck."

Disappearing through a pink flash, prompting my stunned self to gapingly look around, brain attempting to quickly process what was being requested of me.

All of... Spike's chores...

Every... Inch of the castle...

...

...

...

Better get started then... [BEEP].


Note to self... Never remark... About Spike's chores... Ever again... Was gonna give that kid his own amusement park for managing to clean every spot and piece of such a giant tree crystal, both in and out, without so much a single complaint. Congratulations Twilight... You made me envious of our own son.

Hope you're happy... With yourself...

"We're almost there..." Fluttershy commented beside the Princess of Friendship, both kindly waiting up for me every few seconds as my limbs felt all too close to wobbling over over the past five to six days of scrubbing and mopping. The mopping was the worst, especially with uncontrollable wings brushing against the wet floor every few seconds.

Where were we going? Likely the sanctuary I had constructed for the yellow pegasus back when I was full human... No idea why, these two have been awfully hush hush regarding the... Circumstances...

Still, upon our arrival, the animal spot looked just as great as it did following the finished result, mostly thanks to me. Not bragging, just stating the facts, all for the effort of making my caring friend thrilled and blissful. Her pet bear, birds, squirrels and various other animals in total relaxation and harmony amongst one another. Not a real predator in sight. Maybe Fluttershy changes their diets somehow, perhaps it's different in Equestria.

Why was I even pondering about this? Multitudes of mopping and putting up with Starlight's playful remarks must have gotten to me.

Regardless, I had to comment with light appreciation towards the humble resort of tandem peace. "Still as beautiful as I remember it..."

Both mares looked over to me with their own smiles, Fluttershy's of pleased gratitude and Twilight's of immense satisfaction, the latter, especially by the sensation of planning through our bond, dropping my warm expression and placing me somewhat on edge.

"I'm glad to hear that honey." Uh oh, the way the alicorn used 'honey.' Eyes sparkling dangerously. "Because you're certainly going to appreciate the view moreso the next few days camping out here tending to each and every of Fluttershy's critter friends."

...That... Would explain the wagon of seemingly random junk they had me pull along via wagon all the way here.

The yellow pegasus proceeded to chime in, motioning to each and every friend in her own loving smile. "Now, Mr and Mrs. Buzzer love their tea at eight-point-two in the morning, no sugar with half the cup filled with milk. Mr. Round love his green decorated cup with honey added in beforehand. Oh, and try not to add too much salt in his tea; he's very strict about the flavour; six AM exact. Mrs. Goof likes her adorable children to be fed first, at nine-point-forty-three in the morning too. Just remember that-"

My face could not look more like a defeated man's if I tried.


But if you thought four days of tending an entire outside reserve for pure light-hearted animals wasn't daunting enough, boy weren't we in for a shock?! Twilight had wasted no time in dragging my reluctant, exhausted [BEEP] around to the next location I was gonna spend days of torture within.

"Hmm... Not quite the stature or build for an appropriate replacement, but I suppose it'll have to do." You flatter me my dear, Rarity hummed and lightly poking around my exposed stallion body as though examining some unique specimen. Something I had been well acquainted with whenever Twilight began treating me like a lab rat eons ago.

Struggling my absolute best not to lean forward or the sides and collapse off the center of this tiny podium... Was taking some effort.

"Yes. Yes, thank you darling. He'll do just fine." Lovely, glad to hear it. My own wince prompted by the mental jab coming from the Princess, evidently hearing my internal complaints as if my wry expression wasn't enough of an indicator. The one-of-a-kind fashionista taking some steps back to be next to Twilight, smiling in pleasant approval. "Stardust will make a much more suitable live mannequin for my recent trends. I certainly hope he has the stamina."

"I'd be surprised if he didn't." My teeth grit, forcing myself not to retort irritably back at the lavender alicorn whom was clearly enjoying my torment. "Just try not to overwhelm him too much Rarity, if you'd please."

"Oh ho ho ho, no promises darling." That coy reply and gleam in sapphire eyes prompting my entire body hair to stand on air, suddenly wishing myself back on Fluttershy's sanctuary and play tea party with the raccoons again. Preferable right about then! "I do hope your tolerance and stomach for crowds have improved during the course of your runaway, Stardust darling, I have the extensive list of ponies we'll be expecting over the next few days. Business is, after all, expanding."


Kill me. Just kill me.

"Yee-haw! Put yer back into it sonny!"

"Careful now Granny! He ain't too accustomed to carrying ponies and apple boxes at the same time!"

"Ahh quit yer yappin' Applejack, this mighty fine stallion is doin' just fine. Ain't that right sugar?"

I'm gonna kill everyone, and then myself...

"Boy... Looks like no one's sparin' Stardust from any grief."

"Eeyup."

"Yee doggy! Come on sonny, use those legs, I ain't gettin' any younger! Deliver those boxes to and from the orchids before sundown! Then tomorrow, we'll see about harvestin' that zap apple flavour!"

Everyone will die, and then it'll be me...

"Er... You can do it sugarcube...! Heh... Think Granny might just be pushin' her expectations a little too far..."

"Eeyup."


Far from over. Far, far from precisely that, the horrors just kept on coming for once finishing being the farm tool of the Apple Family, Twilight dragging my resigned, exhausted and, at this point, trembling state towards a certain bakery, promptly thrown inside by a welcoming Pinkie and sent down the secret slide into the party lair.

This was torture, right down to the core. Twilight was putting me through all this [BEEP] to make my life a brief living Hell.

"Let's see here... There we are!" Oh no.

The energetic pink Earth Pony soon piled a whole category of names and information on my back and front limbs, stuffing my face with folders containing everything needed to know for a certain task. Couldn't see Pinkie at this point, but I perfectly envisioned her wide beaming and step back once practically covering my body in files.

"Here are all the parties scheduled for this week; Birthdays, holidays, celebrations. You'll get to organize them all, and be the special party planner making so many ponies smile! I'm off to hang out with Maud, have fun!" Pinkie immediately departing up the slide without even hearing a word of anything else from me regarding this.

That's alright, I'm pretty confident my vocal cords dried up screaming in agony about two weeks back.


Couldn't do it... I couldn't do it...

Rainbow, however, offered a different viewpoint. "Man has being human made you slow." The Wonderbolt taunted with an ever-present cocky smile, flying on the spot a few feet forward. "Come on Stardust, you can do better than that!"

Ugh... No...

"Sheesh, it's not like I'm making you run all over Equestria! You look like you've been trampled on the whole week!"

Agh... Uh...

A playful scoff. "If you think this is too much, just remember that we're going to be racing five times everyday for the whole week. So toughen up, and give me something close to a challenge!"

...


My last remaining strength, as thus, was galloping into the blue halls while slamming open any obstacle of a door with a push of my desperate form, tracking down the beloved signature as my mind was on pure autopilot. Had to get away, had to get away! Couldn't endure the pain any longer, I learned my lesson!

Surely enough, neither mare looked particularly surprised overall to see my barging into the library, though they were briefly taken aback from my sudden appearance, hazel eyes locking on the purple alicorn observing me. Twilight!

Next action, following the exploding relief in my chest with that mare in the vicinity, was diving into the lavender soft hoofs and practically crawling myself further inside, having escaped from Rainbow mid-race when she wasn't looking in favour of instincts for comfort and affection after such trying times.

Her spike of concern through our bond prompted me to break apart then, burying my muzzle deeper into the comforting chest.

"I can't take it anymore... I can't...! It's too much Twilight! Don't make me go back there, please! Don't make me go through all that again! It's PAINFUL love! My limbs feel like they're on fire, doing all those things for our friends... I never want to do any of that again, PLEASE!"

During my moment of breakdown crisis, a gentle, loving hoof soothing my gold distraught back, another on the brown mane as Twilight knew exactly how to calm me down, in spite of the brief emotion of satisfaction I sensed from the alicorn... And the pink unicorn watching our tender moment. Eventually, the loving Princess cupped my jaw, having me meet her violet sparkling eyes and her knowing smile.

"Now you understand." What? Twilight nodded to Starlight then, the latter returning the motion before opening the doors to the room again, this time- Ah! This time having myself hide behind my Princess from the appearance of the smiling mares.

No, not again! But Twilight was quick to sense my hysteria, sending through waves of kind reassurance and some affectionate humour. Can you blame me, love? These friends put me through Hell!

"And I didn't?" That mentally shut me up, the Princess giggling lightly before turning to face me again, the others joining at a respectable distance. "All that you've endured today, almost this entire month, is just a glimpse of everything you put me through when you left that night. Can you imagine the sheer agony of a breaking heart when I read that note, half-convinced I'll never see my Warrior again after such an amazing day? That day considered the last time I'll ever see the human I love? The waiting pain and sorrow of expecting you to come home, out of the blue, constantly checking the room and library and suddenly seeing you there, safe and sound? If it weren't for them..."

Twilight cast a fond, and highly gratified glance to the others, whom grinned in sympathy and encouragement.

"I never would have likely survived..."

Oh... All this was then...

"Was a painful, but necessary lesson." Twilight sighed, shaking her head softly at the stallion who sought nothing but her comfort. "I hated having to do this to you Jack, believe me, but sometimes... Sometimes I think you get away with too much that a lesson must be forcibly learned..."

I... I understand. For that, my muzzle opened to speak, the Princess suddenly placing a lavender hoof on my lips to prevent speaking, Twilight then stating next with kind understanding.

"You can sleep in for the rest of the week, if you want... I think you learned your lesson."

Oh thank you thank you thank you! Commencing my then slower, limping but hurried pace towards the bedroom, just wanting to never get up from it after these weeks of pure agonizing pain. Amidst such, I heard Rainbow upon brushing past the girls mutter in good humour, "Figures I'd be the one to finally break him..."


"Jack?" Oh, surprise surprise, the mare was too busy to have detected my approaching presence into the small reading room, Twilight looking my way curiously whilst levitating her book down, tilting that cute head oh so endearingly. "Is something the matter? I thought you'd be deeply resting right now."

Was rather late, that much was true. So why did I even come here, close to midnight? Simple, while true I did have some rest, I only woke up a few hours later, unable to properly sleep ever since Twilight's confession much earlier.

Spike's chores, Fluttershy's sanctuary, Rarity's boutique, Applejack's farm, Pinkie's party planning ways and Rainbow's daunting races. Twilight's clear acceptance of having her own special somepony suffer, despite it being out of character for the Princess, as semi-revenge and retribution for the emotional harm he caused her, and it was only a glimpse too.

I made her suffer that night, without true intent to. Twilight had endured through so much bull[BEEP] all because of me, even before we started dating. She's been through enough in life, with all her hardships and responsibilities, and I had no reason to add on the pile of Twilight's plate. I was mentally tortured too, going through some things Twilight wasn't even aware of, alongside missing this wonderful, forgiving alicorn every walking step since leaving this home. Hell, even playing ball with Spike outside the castle had me miss her company already.

Maybe we've become too clingy. One of my ex's broke up with me because of that... Perhaps we've relied on each other too much at this point... But you know what? You know absolute what, I'll tell you... I couldn't really care less.

Twilight allowed herself to be stood up on hind legs, supporting by my caring front limbs as we commenced our postures for a beginning, familiar dance ever since our first date, all too long ago. "I will never change who I am as a person..." Was my light confession, those sparkling violet eyes patiently waiting for me to continue, knowing I needed to say this. So I did, smiling in warm love. "But I will never cause any pain to those I cherish more than life itself, ever again..."

"...I know you won't." Came the replied whisper, Twilight managing a gentle, affectionate smile as we danced in the motion, the steps familiar between us and managing no effort in our tender, equally connected dance across the room. "Because if you do..."

"I know, I know, you'll paper cut me to death with all the books in this room."

"Jack..."

Let us dance, Twilight... Let's finally enjoy the moment.

Twilight hesitated, but heard my internal request, obliging as we proceeded catching up once again after so long. Two months together again hadn't felt like enough, I would devote ten years... No, twenty. Thirty, forty. A thousand years to make up for this breathtaking mare for all the harm I've unwillingly bestowed.

Who knows, that might actually happen with us both being alicorns now... Need to talk with Celestia regarding our other deserving friends...

Ah... Her adorable, beautiful head rested against my gold chest, lavender horn brushing beneath my bearded jaw. My heart increased rapidly in beat, breathing slowing down in harmonic satisfaction. Yeah... We both needed this.

Maybe we should stay like this all night and morning...

I'd like that. Her voice replied inwards, our ability to communicate via bond stronger than ever, Twilight's own touch of amused love leaking through. Hm, as would I, smirking lovingly and cuddling the beloved Princess, the candle lights, as ever, making this the most perfect setting.

The real road to recovery, was now.

PreviousChapters Next