A Journey Beyond Sanity

by Darkwing Dust

Chapter 179: Once Upon A Dream

Tonight was lovely.

Never mind the beautiful meteor shower which happened just earlier as I was passing through a wide patch of snow earlier, leaving as quickly as I had arrived. What was that spectacle you called earlier again, Starswirl?

The Northern Stars. A very wondrous event which occurs every once in a while. Anypony would be lucky enough to view such an appealing spectacle up close.

You've seen it before then?

Ohh, how many times had I not bore witness to its pure beauty. Starswirl sounded fondly enthusiastic with a tinge of nostalgia. My friends and I would take the front seats to the stars glistening in all their glory, given the chance. Why, we even indulged ourselves with treats during the wondrous observations. You would have loved watching them alongside us, Jack.

Hah, perhaps I already had. Twilight would obviously had loved the spectacle herself.

...But yeah, the sight was breathtaking, while the night still remained young. Countless of gorgeous stars glimmering and sparkling across the fresh night sky, beaming down on the peaceful lands with resonance of harmony and adoration. Although to be fair, night was always beautiful in Equestria, even on stormy nights... Though that could stem from my own affection for storms in general. But the fact remained.

Even Zagreus' looming threat and my neverending pursuit and often weariness couldn't cancel out the radiance of trillions of stars glistening across the night, revealing God knows how many constellations out there above. With a bright smile, I kept on walking, more fond memories putting me on track and fueling the motivation much further.

---

"Why are you rarely ever happy?"

"What?"

"I've only ever witnessed you express happiness a few times. Yet the majority of your mood borders on irritation or sarcasm. Why is that?"

"It's just the way I am."

"Now why don't I believe that?"

"A lot of things have happened in my life, and not all good ones. You could say I'm still recovering from them. In addition, there's the factor that I've yet to return home, which doesn't help, at all."

"We'll get you home, Jack, I promise you. I've been doing the best I can-"

"And I appreciate it, Twilight; I always have. The fact you're willing to help me is more than enough, and I'm eternally grateful."

"I'm grateful too, Jack, for having such a wonderful friend. If there's anypony I'd rather be dating just for this occasion, I'm glad it's you."

"Oh, I don't know about that, my dear. I'm not a pony, for starters. Plus, there are far more suitable dates than I. Big Macintosh... Fancypants... Hell, probably a Diamond Dog would make a more worthy date for you than I..."

"Hm. I sincerely doubt that; you're not as bad as you think, you know. When you're not in a bad mood, you're kind, caring, helpful, thoughtful, intelligent, brave, compassionate, humble, resilient and wise... with some exceptions here and there; betting the house, for example."

"I said I was sorry. And I got you a machine for your laboratory in turn, remember?"

"Which I immediately returned to those poor Flim Flam brothers. My point being, even if you don't regard yourself that highly, Jack, you're still one of the bestest friends anyone can ask for. You were even sweet enough to give me a date for Hearts and Hooves, and even indulged my fantasy right now."

"Well, that's because of my own appreciation for our friendship, and your never ending hospitality. In comparison, your qualities outshine mine, Twilight; you're kind, compassionate, caring, loving, highly intelligent, supportive, understanding, logical, brave, passionate, loyal, forgiving, thoughtful, modest, wise and one of the few reasons I enjoy my stay here, in Equestria."

"I have flaws too you know..."

"Like the time you went insane because of forgetting to write Celestia a letter about friendship? It's those flaws that makes you perfect, anyway. If you had no flaws at all, then I probably wouldn't be this close to you, literally."

"You honestly think so highly of me...?"

"Always have, always will; you're amazing, Twilight Sparkle, in every possible way."

---

Our first dance, under the stars... Our unofficial first date... Or perhaps our first real evening spent together. Funny that my mind kept wandering more to that remember my first date with the lavender alicorn was mentioned or referenced as opposed to the 'official' date at Winsome Falls.

In each other's hoofs, twirling and leading one another in soft content, staring into those sparkling beautiful violet eyes filled with such innocence, wisdom and internal beauty. The same eyes I yearned to see again and how my heart cracked every morning with the reminder that may never happen again. Her gentle furry muzzle brushed against my own, our hind feet working together as one across the soft grass. Eyes closed in complete peace and solemn bliss, nothing getting in the way of our amazing evening dancing beneath the approving glimmering starlight.

...What I wouldn't give to spend another evening with the mare I loved more than anything else. One last time watching the stars together. Hell, even those Northern Stars earlier, Twilight would've absolutely had the best time of her life-

Hm?

My head shot upwards, realizing I had been absentmindedly staring at the promise ring still kept on my finger amidst my somber contemplation, towards the night sky yet again. Odd, a new yet familiar tingling sensation rung in my head, ears and chest, as though detecting a presence U had not anticipated for a very long time.

A presence which had me widen my eyes and dare to hope.

"Twilight...?"

I swore, in my mind's eye, a pair of certain sparkling eyes were seeing me from above, feeling that jolt of familiarity too.

Was she up there, on that magnificent-looking airship currently sailing above the skies and covering some of the breathtaking stars? Too good to be true, or was I daring to hope enough? A steady hand on my own chest, the ring finger coincidentally resting on my erratic heartbeat. Or maybe that was too a sign.

Because by God I wanted to see her again...!

...Wait.

Something was approaching... Descending from the sky... At a pretty fast speed!

And right towards me!

I'd move out of the way.

Good call!

My body quickly leaped forwards, out of the way, over some unmanly scream coming with the descent. Oof! A cloud of dust followed after my grimace of pain from my landing onto the stomach, making it out of the way in time before whatever, or whoever, could land perfectly onto my vulnerable position.

Stupid cartoon rules...

"Ugh!" A voice popped up behind as I slowly began to stood and regain composure. But my own body froze then from the familiar Hercule-like tone. "Iron Will notes to himself never to design cheap parachute for getaways again. They're bad for business... And what in blazes are you suppose to be?"

Oh God no! I quickly turned around in despair, exhaling with slow trepidation at someone I had neither expected to see in person or through the show ever again. Yep, the Minotaur equivalent of Mr Satan was right before my weary hazel eyes, looking right back at me whilst dusting himself off and with an expectant expression.

---

"You."

Of all people. Of all ponies. Of all anything. All the creatures which inhabited this vast land... And the one landing on the ground obviously had parachuted from the airship, already on its way to the distance, had to be this muscular black and blue clown with tiny yellow eyes, ridiculous small style black mane, a tiny black tie one-eared headset with announcer microphone.

Iron Will, in all his former glory since... Season one? No I think it was two? Anyhow, the massive Minotaur with the evident DBZ voice actor grinned quite proudly at the recognition. "So you've heard of Iron Will then? Can't say I fault ya... Hang on..." The large creature lowered somewhat with bending forward, eyes squinting in consideration. Human-like hands on very thin hips. "Were you a client of mine? Iron Will knows a face when he sees it."

Some thing clearly haven't changed...

"No, wait... Iron Will would clearly remember someone unnatural like yerself."

Suddenly I was mimicking his posture, bristling a little at the casual remark to my appearance. Only one of us here was the most unnatural, and guess what buster? "You once turned my friend into a coldhearted dismissive jerk." A very, very sweet friend whom went against everything in her nature.

"But I've been awful to everyone anyway, even you, Stardust. Now I've hurt Rarity and Pinkie Pie's feelings, and they'll never forgive me for that-"

Alright, didn't need a flashback of that, thank you very much, even if this [BEEP]hole before my very eyes - And his goat between him I had then just noticed - stirred up some unpleasant memories of Fluttershy's tears.

The second most depressing memory next to Twilight's tears.

"I had to cease your contract with her and display a proper means of assertiveness in turn." I finished off quite sternly.

"Hmm..." But 'Hercule' was looking quite hard at me, perking a brow before glancing upwards to the night sky. "Sorry. Rings no bells for Iron Will." Shocking. I'd be amazed if this brute could recall his last morning breakfast. "Those assertive teaching classes of mine are a thing of the past. Now, Iron Will leads a promising new business in promoting joyful cruise lines! Recent exploits even bringing aboard two Princesses above!"

"And I'm sure you're doing a wondrous job- Princesses?"

Iron smirked, the Hercule-like character quite pleased by my sarcasm cutting off to focused attention on his words. "That's right!" The Minotaur folded his arms with a motion above. "Why, just before they kicked me off, I was host to Princess Twilight and Princess Cadence with their whole family. They had a blast, despite what opinion may vary from others in the future..."

I tuned the egotistical bull-man out, eyes drawn upwards to the massive airship passing through the glamorous night skies. So Twilight WAS up there, so close and yet so far from my reach... Right above me! My feeling wasn't wrong!

Something clenched un pleasantly in my chest; hope mixed with dread, worry and apprehension, an innate desire to somehow reach up to the departing dirigible and be reunited with the mare I loved above all else, safe and content in her arms again... My hands shut tightly into fists, teeth slowly grit with despair and more self-berating.

It'd be too late to ask for a quick portal upwards, wouldn't it...?

And Starswirl sounded entirely regretful about my inner plight. If we began drawing more power from the magical realm for quick trips like as you propose, the repercussions would be severe to contemplate.

I felt like dropping on my knees, looking upwards hopelessly towards the leaving airship- No, the alicorn aboard, oblivious to the special somebody watching far from the ground, missing her intently. How was she? Was she safe? Happy? Were her and the family having a good time? Did something happen? Thousands of concerns and possibilities flung across my head, and the more desperate I was growing to see them all again.

The other family which accepted me.

...Agh...!

"- Thus that's why you should take a trip aboard Iron Will's Transports and have the best darn time of fun and relaxation in all of Equestria!" I heard the self-pleased Minotaur conclude, though my gaze lingered still on the airship now going so far... Too far. "But since I've been forcibly removed from my latest occupation, you'll have to schedule for another time. Luckily, Iron Will has a spare private beach house not too far from here; a proper way of relaxing Iron Will after that exciting yet equally disappointing event-"

"Kindly stop referring yourself in the third person." I found myself speaking irritably, hazel eyes glaring in direction of the larger creature to target my irritation and frustrations upon. Trixie's self-indulgent addressing was barely tolerable enough. "Else Star-" I cut myself off. If Iron Will learned my second name, he could recognize me more from any wanted posters he likely saw. "Or else Jack will have to use Iron Will as an outlet for his current anger."

"You wanna talk about anger kid?" Those small yellow eyes blazed, not at all fazed by the clear threat with his own clenched fists. "Ungrateful ponies, kicking me off my own vessel just because Iron Will doesn't pay for refunds! The nerve of that Princess!" Twilight I presumed.

And the idea of the alicorn doing something to upset this Minotaur brought a tiny pleased smile to my own face. Not to mention the pride. Glad to hear Twilight's still fighting the good fight.

"Iron Will is in serious need of relaxation and rest himself!" The Minotaur paused, stretching his upper limbs exaggeratedly and craned his neck around, glancing down to his two goat sidekicks with equally silly headsets. "Come on boys. Let's go get ourselves a nice tan on the beach. Celestia knows Iron Will deserves it."

Good riddance... Until I noticed Iron was about to head in the same direction I was going in, myself stepping aside for the Hercule-esque character and his two friends to pass, eyebrows raised in utter exasperation. One of the goats almost nipped at the edge of my gown, only making me more reluctant to follow.

Please, please tell me this path didn't lead to Iron's private beach and private beach alone.

Evidence to Zagreus' presence points in the same direction I'm afraid. But let's address the bright side of matters, Jack. How long has it been for you since a proper relaxing time at the beach? A long time, I believe.

Not long enough...

Huffing irritably, my begrudgingly following after the two goats and one bull-man started with a lingering gaze on the hovering airship already reaching the far-off mountains, moving away from sight. My view wouldn't turn away until it disappeared completely... Until she disappeared from my sight... Again...

---

So one interesting thing I've learned about my new traveling companion.

He loved to talk.

Mostly about himself. Partially regarding his current and past careers, but all culminating in his own proud accomplishment.

Now, this shouldn't really be surprising, but the levels of absurdity, and perhaps borderline insanity, reach new heights with how high this black and blue Minotaur deemed his own existence. After Iron, during a few minutes of reluctance, upon noticing my walking behind him and his white furry minions, eventually accepted guiding me down to his private beach because he wasn't dumb enough to test my own stubbornness, at the very least, the Minotaur seemed more comfortable talking about himself in a manner that would make Trixie and Timber Spruce blush in embarrassment for him.

Speaking of Trixie, I was finding myself missing her more and more with every word the bull-man was spewing from his mouth.

"- After my career in anger counseling dropped, I was lost, confused, and most of all without inspiration... But then, lo and behold, Iron Will, while one day passing through the streets, stumbled upon a small advertisement for depression counseling. Curious, Iron Will took a gamble, and soon became a hero of inspiration and respect by ponies feelings too down by life-!"

His self-praise and righteousness was only getting me more depressed; inspired moreso to stray ten feet behind the Minotaur and wait to make it there sooner than later. Even Blueblood wasn't this pretentious.

Seriously, aside from Shining - Or at least the pony version anyway - and Big Mac, what was with the male characters of the show being self-entitled jack[BEEP]es. Even Spike was susceptible to stroking his own ego at times, but he's a kid so I let him get away with that. But everyone else?

Timber, Zephyr, that Daring Do fan, that pegasus with the Wonderbolts aside from Soarin, Soarin, Sombra, Discord, Tirek, human Shining and even this walking pile of muscle and nothing before me. Most of all the male characters who appeared in the show or specials possessed far too much self-esteem it's intolerable. And people often wonder why I was more comfortable hanging out with the girls more.

Even Rainbow Dash toned down over time! Name a single character of the male gender from the show, aside from, again, pony Shining and Big Mac, without an ego problem.

Flash Sentry.

Knew you would play that card. Flash isn't even a character, he's just a walking mannequin for expectant girls going to high school-

A flash of Twilight's disapproving features cut off that trail of thought, prompting the low sigh whereas Iron hardly acknowledged, still repeatedly boasting about his own 'achievements.' Alright, Flash was no worse than Timber or the others as far as modesty was concerned, but that boy was literally made to be perfect. He doesn't count.

The point is, the show follows under the main assumption that males, in general, are motivated by their own arrogance and self-indulgent tendencies. Which... Fair enough, I couldn't say I wasn't victim to my own self-confidence myself. But I just wish they'd give us more complex, diverse and unique characters from my own gender int he show than just the females.

Yeah yeah it's a universe mainly intended for little girls to enjoy and relate to, but... It'd be nice. Only Spike seems to have had the most development.

...I missed Spike.

Nothing else, just... Needed to express that in my mind. My son, my beautiful little dragon, raised mostly by his beautiful mother whom I missed just as dearly. The ache in my chest only worsened... Was it selfish of me to confess I, perhaps, missed Twilight more than anyone else...?

Iron Will was still talking about himself, and I sighed deeply yet again, not wanting to be drawn back to whatever it was the Hercule character was spewing out about himself next. Even Rainbow would be telling this large clown to shut the [BEEP] up.

Maybe not in those words, though that'd be funny.

Quick Jack, think of something nice to recall, something to keep you occupied from listening only to what your guide was saying. A nice memory, perhaps one more recent and brought a smile to my own face.

---

"I've never forgotten the dance we had together that evening, Jack..."

"Heh, you mean all those times I tripped myself up?"

"It was only a couple of times!"

"I'm amazed you even managed to teach me that 'slow dance' style so quickly."

"And you did it beautifully."

"Heh... it's just one of many things you've given to me since then, Twilight."

"We've both come a long way since then, Jack."

"True. You had slightly less appendages back then."

"No, I don't mean just that. How we've both grown... how we've... matured. Together."

"And to think you suggested that Fancypants would've been a better date for me."

"Well, that was before I realized just how shallow and uninteresting the stallions of Equestria were. I was adamant about refusing to believe I was worth your love then, Twilight."

"And? What about now?"

"Hmm?"

"Would you say you're worth it now?"

"I've... often questioned whether or not my presence in this world has caused more harm than good, Twilight. All the damages and changes I've caused. I've wondered... would things have been better for you if I had never arrived?"

"Jack..."

"But then, I look back at all the memories, all the times we've shared together. Not just you and me, but our friends. Spike, our son, all the things that have come about as a result of our bonds... our family, Twilight."

"I- I look back at it all, and I'm... I'm proud of it, Twilight. Proud... to have been a part of it, to have left my mark upon it. Whatever else happens, Twilight, those memories will leave an impact that will last forever. That. That's a contribution that I'm proud of."

"Jack."

"Hmm?"

"Would you care to grant me this dance, once again?"

"...Would you be upset if I fell over again, too?"

"You think that you will?"

"Probably."

"No matter how many times that you do, Jack, I'll always be here to help you up."

"I know you will, love."

---

Whoa... Okay, that was a recent and wonderful memory!

Right after the events of the Crystal Empire but directly before LoE... Another quiet solemn date, at the very same spot we had our first, unofficial one. The picnic, the dance, and that night was a reenactment of said dance...

God that was blissful...

...

I sighed, for the third time since the walk, head lowered to the dark pathway before us, the stars lighting our way. Help me back up, huh Twilight? I dare say you've helped me up more times than what was needed. I shouldn't have had to be so much a burden for you all this time... And you would insist otherwise all thsi time.

Because you thought I was worth the effort.

...

Heh, nothing was ever too challenging once you put your mind into working on it, love...

And I'm still proud to be a part of it all.

By then, Iron Will had finally finished talking, for the moment at least, with smug satisfaction. "- And that's how Iron Will was wrongfully pressured off my own precious airship and where we are at this point! Not bad, huh kid?" He asked rhetorically without turning to face my unimpressed expression. "Maybe I should be a part time storyteller too; that might be good for business."

The Hercule-like male paused.

"Actually, that's something there to consider. I'll have to write that one down."

In answer, I rolled my eyes rather dramatically.

So Starswirl, what really happened up there?

You sure you desire to know? My silence was answer enough, Starswirl sighing next. Don't say you were not warned, my student.

And he was not wrong the further it was explained to me. If looks could kill, the following heated glare to Iron Will's back could burn a large hole through to his ridiculously muscular chest.

---

"And here we are!" Iron Will gestured to the whole nightly beach, but my gaze remained fixed on the [BEEP]tard for a moment longer. The giant Minotaur huffed, and quite frankly it almost felt intimidating standing beside his size. Almost. "No need to keep giving Iron Will the stink eye kid, not when there's something more glorious to behold!"

Pardon me, then, for expressing my sheer irritation, disapproval and thorough anger for someone who conned my girlfriend's family so she could be used as a prize for some contest. Had this [BEEP] no shame, for God's sake?

At his pleased grin, however, I had to roll my hazel eyes and finally tear away from his implausible stature to the beach presented before us. Not a warm day and the night was still young, the skies darkening more. In fact, a gust of chilly wind had me immediately wrap my gown tighter. Christ it was freezing at the beach at night.

Still, appealing-wise I... Guess it was alright. Tranquil waves splashing into the quiet sands, the beach itself lasting for a while, stretching for miles. The four of us - With Nightshade taking a nap in my bag - stood atop the small grassy hill overlooking the rather vast and seemingly endless sands and sea. For others I'm sure it looked pretty, but myself?

Wouldn't be caught dead before calling a beach beautiful.

"And look, just over yonder, you can make out Iron Will's private house for relaxation and free foot massages." Oh yes. Towering over part of the ocean reaching out over a sturdy pier, a rather spacious-looking building looking quite pleasant design-wise, lights pouring from the windows. "Work ain't cheap, but it's what I can afford the best for-"

"Yourself?"

The Minotaur blinked, glancing to me with a raised brow. "You must've been really displeased as a previous client of Iron Will..." Stretching his own two upper limbs, my temporary companion proceeded to yawn loudly and smile quite lightly. "And this is where we part ways kid. Didn't you say something earlier about needing to check for something?"

And good riddance, too. Starswirl - Had to take a step back before another goat could try biting my gown's cord, again - how close were we from the supposed imbalance?

A travel down the left path shall aid us, I believe. I recommend you keep the gown on for the remainder of the search; this area can become quite chilly over night.

No kidding, the beach wasn't so far from the snowy areas of Equestria. Hands in pockets, I nodded in farewell to the Minotaur and proceeded on my way, wanting to get his work done as quickly as possible-

"Oh look, there they are!" Iron suddenly called out rather elatedly, prompting my startled pause. "I knew they'd be here while I was working!" Huh? I whirled around curiously, wondering who exactly the Hercule-like character was talking about with such excitement without it being himself. Iron proceeded to wink at me with a large grin. "See ya around kid. I've got my own kid to see, not to mention Iron Will's beautiful wife!" With his enthusiasm taking him forward to where the two other Minotaurs in the distance were waiting, running straight into their arms.

To my immediate shock.

Oh, not that Iron Will was married. But rather the lovely picture being presented before me, completely unexpected of someone like that Minotaur.

Even indulging in one's ego often can still make room for love and adoration in their hearts, my young friend. We all have family to turn back to when we need them most.

Family...

Family...

Family...

My shoulders dropped, expression softening to nostalgia and full tiredness, turning away at the beautiful sight and forcing myself not to look back. I couldn't, not with the way Iron was lovingly engaging his wife and ruffling his child's short hair, eyes closed tightly and my feet compelling me forward, down the other path but not taking one step onto the sand below.

Because the scene reminded of something all too familiar. Something I may never have again... And it hurt.

---

Was it bad to miss someone too much?

To have that someone plague your memories and thoughts all night long because the spectacle earlier of a loving family reminding you of better and safer times? Someone whose arms you always felt protected and content in, welcoming and loved? Belonging to an adorable little bookworm who was everything I could never be?

Confident.

Intelligent.

Beautiful.

Hilarious.

Courageous.

Stubborn.

Wise.

Persistent.

Forgiving.

...Warm...

The slow breezes of the wind toyed with my hair and tied blue gown, but I paid it no heed, eyes set firmly on the grass below my feet as I walked across the field, hands buried deep in literal pockets and mouth set to pure nostalgic sadness. Couldn't help myself; everyone knew by now how easily I could make myself depressed.

Especially when it's about a certain alicorn Princess who never once gave up on me... Always believed in me... Gave me more chances than I deserved... Taught me so much and asked for little in return... More beautiful and sparkling than all the current stars in the sky...

I fell to my knees. It was painful to even look up at them, instead forcing myself to take view of the oceans nearby, peacefully crashing into the waves promising a solemn night. Sighing quietly, I resorted to make myself feel more comfortable, no longer motivated to even take another step. Starswirl could warn me if there was any immediate danger, and the imbalance itself was vague and had no fixed location as of yet.

In my mind's eyes envisioned her sitting beside, head rest comfortably on my shoulder and wing pulling me into her furry warmth-

I tightly shut my eyes, breathing turning shallow at the bitter wishful thinking. It was for the best... It was for the best! I don't deserve her! I never deserved her!

...

I sighed yet again, slowly opening them and absentmindedly taking interest in the lights reflecting from above onto the surface of clear water, giving my most hated enemy a luminous and appealing glow. Yes, I hated water, and beaches in general. The ocean, while filled with wonders, also plagued with crabs, sharks and other various marine creatures that could kill you when your guard was down.

Don't get me started on beaches in general used as a means for hungry teenagers and young adults to admire the figures of girls in bikinis without anyone stopping them. My mouth twisted unpleasantly by the very thought. If anyone did that to Twilight or my friends, a shark would be the least of their worries...

And the sand. God damn. It gets itself everywhere in every nook and cranny, it easily blows into your eyes and stings as [BEEP].

Yet focusing on my contempt for these aspects of the beach wasn't enough, beginning to stare down at the wide sands and picture a perfect image in my mind's eye. My friends, playing all over and having just the time of their lives, and the breath in my throat hitched at the, again, wishful thoughts continuously plaguing my company-deprived mind.

Applejack and Rainbow competing in a heated game of volleyball.

Pinkie playing with sun lotion.

Fluttershy having a pleasant conversation with a family of crabs.

Rarity sunbathing on a purple blanket.

Starlight by the edge of the sea flying a kite.

Spike eating two ice creams in both claws.

And Twilight... Twilight, contently reading a book with that breathtaking light smile under a beach umbrella, oblivious but perhaps knowing of the loving gaze her Warrior was sending.

...Tch, like I deserved to be called that even anymore. 'Her Warrior.' What right did I without any other means then of protecting her? Protecting them all?

There's more to being a warrior for a Princess than brute strength and powerful magic, Jack... Twilight Sparkle deems you so not from your physical prowess or fists, but from your compassion, kindness and patience. Your wisdom and sharp wit. She adores and misses you just as much as you miss her. The proof was your exchange of eye contact earlier.

What...?

It wasn't imagination, my friend, that the Princess met your gaze after your moment of first glance upon the airship. Starswirl sounded quite pleased and proud for some reason. Magic or no magic, the bond between two loved ones is more powerful than any imbalance could hope to break, so long as belief and affection remains reinforced and constant. And you would never let go of your own belief and love for her, am I not mistaken, Jack?

...

The hands on my knee clutched tighter, another weary sigh tonight and resuming my gaze on the beach. And yet, something caught my eye; the amethyst ring still present on my finger, gleaming more beautiful before the ocean waves. My hazel gaze lingered to that moreso, faint puzzlement and wonder overtaking my tired features.

"These are promise rings, a vow that one day we'll dedicate the rest of our life together, that we'll eventually make that full commitment we all know. I wouldn't dare ask that important question while you're still young, and have your whole life ahead of you. But I promise, until that day comes, you, Spike, and everyone I love - But you most of all - will be my first priority above all else-"

A vow I made, and one I broke as swiftly. The hypocrisy of a human being was a constant affair, huh?

...Though, thinking about it... The more I regarded this ring; had I really destroyed that promise? Was I not dedicating my life, right then and there, to keeping the mare I loved safe and happy from what Zagreus was plotting?

And suddenly, that wasn't the only memory assaulting my weary mind.

---

"You know, I'm beginning to like Ponyville more than Canterlot."

"Oh?"

"Uh-huh. True Canterlot will always hold a special place in my heart; it was where I was born and where my family is. But Ponyville is so more quieter and serene, filled with so many adventures, and where I've made the bestest friends anypony could ask for. I'll forever be grateful to Princess Celestia for sending me here."

"Yes... I suppose Ponyville's atmosphere is more refreshing than that of Canterlot's."

"Did I ever tell you about my family?"

---

Right... The first real time we ever got to know another. I remembered; Twilight was trying so hard to know more about the strange stallion who came to live under the same tree-roof, never giving up on me even back then. Zecora's own advice was sound then as it always was current.

And that was only the first.

---

"Now I get it! You were trying to be like an anti-hero, right? And that must've been why you kissed Twilight after Elixir gave her to you, but he tricked you into thinking she was her, so that meant-"

"You kissed her/me?!"

"Okay, yes, I did, but... I mean, it was just an accident! I thought I was kissing her, but after I saw her necklace-"

WHOOSH!

---

Ha! That was a humorous recollection. My good friend, Casey, about to be scorched alive by his own Twilight Sparkle. I remember the sight well, when Twilight turned into a Ponyta just like did that episode with the hydra.

And then another wave of memories hit me.

---

"Get out of here, now. I'll join you all soon."

"Don't be absurd, Stardust! You can't be thinking of engaging that hydra, can you?"

"Fluttershy wanted a bodyguard, she's got one. Get out of here Twilight, Pinkie. Now!"

"I refuse to-"

"FOR GOD'S SAKE TWILIGHT! FOR ONCE, JUST THIS ONCE, GET RID OF THAT DAMN STUBBORNNESS AND PROTECT OUR FRIENDS! MY LIFE MEANS NOTHING NEXT TO YOURS, WHOSE SAFETY ALONG WITH YOUR FRIENDS IS FAR MORE IMPORTANT! NOW GET OUT OF HERE!"

---

How grouchy and protective I was back then. Nothing would stop me from keeping innocent young ponies out of danger, even facing an all-powered hydra face-to-faces. Just what was I thinking back then, anyhow?

I was such a tiny thing!

But wasn't the last, because the longer my mind lingered on Iron Will's family and my own memories, the more the latter continued to hound my brain, with pleasant recollections all around.

---

"Truth be told, nothing would make me happier than to interact with you two and everyone else in this town."

"So you accept?"

"Of course." "I'm sure you have many questions-"

"Understatement of the century, Stardust."

"-And I'm sure we can work something out so you won't drive me away from Ponyville by endless inquiries. Go and help your- Our friends, Twilight. I'll handle that mischievous spirit of chaos in the meantime."

"Stardust, thank you again... good luck, and be careful."

---

"Though it's uncertain how long I'll be here, I want to spend as much time with the most amazing pony in Equestria as possible. But... I can't promise you, if by some possibility I get stuck here forever, a happy future. I can't promise to be an independent boyfriend who will always be there for you. You know of my condition, of course."

"Autism."

"Yes. That means I'm not a fully functioning member of society. I will never be a socialist, nor will I get a job - Because quite frankly I'd rather die than devote my entire life to one tiresome position - And I will never be the perfect man - or stallion - in your life."

"You already are. I like you for who you are; a compassionate man who cares deeply for his friends, and will do anything for them. You just need to work on your self-esteem and self-confidence a little."

"Look who's talking,"

"This can be considered a new type of friendship; one only we can explore, together. We can be there and support each other for however long we're together, you're my warrior, Jack, and I wouldn't have you any other way."

"Just as you are my Princess, Twilight. I'll support you however I can."

"As I will for you. So then... You have no objection to this relationship continuing, for however long you're in Equestria?"

"Not at all. Though you have your studies and friends to focus on as well, I'm very patient."

---

"So if anyone married you-"

"Never going to happen."

"-And you had children of your own-"

"What a vivid imagination you have."

"Do you always doubt yourself like this?"

"My dear Twilight, you've known me for, how long? And no, I'm not going to explain to you how human pregnancy works, before you ask."

"I-I wasn't going to ask."

"Of course you weren't. Now please be quiet, the babies are sleeping."

---

"You did far better than I had originally anticipated, Jack, putting in a hundred-and-one percent effort into your role despite it suddenly coming from nowhere for you. Truthfully, were you expecting something like this to happen on day one?"

"Not really. Honestly I suspected something the night before, but considered you wouldn't risk your idol's role being ruined by the antics of your untamed special somebody."

"You didn't ruin it, aside from the temporary decor around the place."

"And what's wrong with a little blue? Your own brother has blue hair and eyes. Your father is made entirely of blue save for the eyes! Hell, you originally had your first crush on a guy with blue hair!"

"Not in this world I didn't."

"...Damn, touche."

"Are you complaining?"

"Hell no, but-"

"Good, because I'd hate this evening to be ruined."

"But Twilight dear, you love hearing me whine so."

"Of course I do, because I oh so adore hearing you complain and moan at every little thing. It's an endearing quality of yours I find utterly charming. You certainly know how to woo a pony, my handsome Jack."

"...Not every little thing."

"In all seriousness, this was a wonderful conclusion to your reign as King, Jack. I'm glad I wasn't completely erased from your mind following your newfound position of power."

"Twilight, you were always on my mind. Everything I did, was to appease you, keep you happy. The reason I put in so much work and effort these past few days, aside for the benefit of this kingdom and many others, was to make sure I met your expectations and proved how good I could one day be as a ruler."

"Do you think that'll ever happen one day...?"

"...Yes. There's nothing else I want."

"...Me too."

---

Nothing else...

Nothing else...

Nothing...

...Tch.

I huffed, rolling strained eyes back to the stars with self-deprecating humour. Ruling beside Twilight for eternity... Wouldn't that be a nice dream? Still, better to live in hope, and I wasn't lying to the mare when I said there's nothing more I desired than to be beside her, no matter what path or road she trotted.

So long as Twilight was happy... Even sacrificing my own dreams to maintain that happiness, t'was worth the price all things considered.

...Except, she was my dream...

And then, a ruffle in the bag behind me alerted to Nightshade's awakening, the owl proceeding to poke his adorable little head out, meeting my faintly smiling gaze with a satisfied "Hoo!" And flying right onto my spare knee, prompting my affectionate side to start stroking and ruffling the small bird's fur tenderly.

Nightshade leaned into the touch, smiling as much as an owl could with closed eyes in peaceful content. The sight was enough to cheer me up for at least a small time.

"And I remember when you first joined our small family." Came my solemn voice, managing a barely weak grin at that particular flashback. Or how much I enjoyed picking a heated argument with Twilight even over the most simplest matters. The pair of us always took things seriously.

---

"You named it Owl-licious?"

"Yep, adorable isn't he?"

"Owl-licious. Owl. Licious. Twilight, I think it's time we discussed your levels of creativity."

"Why? What's wrong with the name?"

"What isn't wrong with it? Do I name a cat pussy-tizer? Or a dog puppy-entrée?"

"Your point being?"

"It's demeaning to the infant bird!"

"Well I think it's cute. Honestly, why are you making such a big deal out of it? You don't have a problem with Spike's name."

"There's a clear difference between their names, love. Spike's name is awesome. Because spikes are awesome. With that owl... you make it sound as though you want to eat the poor thing."

"Coming from the stallion who expressed a desire to dine on Philomena."

"Hey, he looked delicious."

"Look, I've got some studying to do. If you're going to complain about it, why not think of a better name for him?"

"...Great idea Twilight. I'll do just that."

---

...I missed her.

Goddammit I missed her!

I barely paid attention to Nightshade's concerned "Hoo?" The second I covered my own ashamed eyes with one hand, teeth grit to further emphasize my despair with the sensation to cry. That's right, cry.

I missed her that badly... Our alone times, our arguments, our mindless bickering over unimportant issues, our casual debates, our quality reading time, the picnics, the dinners, the stargazing... [BEEP], I wanted all that to come back!

I wanted all this to be over! To be back in Twilight's waiting arms and never let go of her! I just want to be back home and with my family again, and not just Twilight and the others too!

Deryn, Joe, Cerys, Mum, Dad...

...

My heart was literally aching, the feeling of tears beginning to prick at my own distraught eyes. It was getting too much; so long without company was bad in both health and stability for me. The urge to just curl up and mourn over my own loneliness and poor decision-making was growing over time, especially over the pleasant view of the stars above glistening down as though there was nothing to forgive.

I wanted to see her again... Just one last time... Maybe I should have accepted Starlight's plea before-

"Hoo!"

Huh...?

Forcing my hand covering my tired and distraught eyes behind glasses, I was suddenly greeted to Nightshade persistently holding a rolled up photo in his beak. Oh... Oh! That same one Starlight attached to his leg before we departed from CHS, I completely forgot!

How could I even forget, that's just more of a sign over how utterly undeserving I truly was-

"Hoo!"

"Okay okay..." I gasped in slight irritation, really desiring to just crawl into a ditch and die right about then. Pulling the item from Nightshade's tiny beak after he prodded my chest enough, I slowly unrolled the photograph to reveal the true beauty within.

All of my friends, with Rarity in that new haircut I saw on that magazine a while back, meaning it was recent. All smiling, content and beaming with pride and sheer elation towards me, as if knowing my distraught and sought to comfort and reassure their long-time friend. Just as they always had. My breath hitched again from the beautiful image, tracing a delicate finger down the pictured Twilight's lavender cheek.

But the words alone were more than enough for me to shed one tear, written in ink on the corner of the small photograph.

"Friendship isn't always easy, but there's no doubt it's worth fighting for!"

...

...

...

God dammit Twilight... I thought with a light amused and gratified smile, wiping away the tear and the rest threatening to fall with my free sleeve, almost panicking when something landed gently onto the sacred treasure.

...That wasn't even a tear... But a tiny ball of light disappearing upon contact.

What...?

I'd look around, if I were you, Jack...

W... Huh...?

For something just as beautiful started appearing all around Nightshade and I, forcing me to rise and stand in utter awe and disbelief. How best to describe the scene before me, surrounding and even falling atop us before evaporating to thin air.

Descending from the nightly heavens like rain, millions upon millions of small golden lights slowly falling to the ground as though the stars were coming down themselves to reassure the lonely human. One hand gently reached out, Nightshade retreating to my shoulder and gazing about himself in curious wonder, whilst a small ball of light touched my welcoming palm.

Turning to nothing, yet a sensation of warmth suddenly encompassed that part of my body; the feeling that everything will be alright and dandy.

With the rest of the small golden lights landing harmlessly onto my hair, face, shoulders, chest, everywhere they could be accident... Or not... And fulfilling me with a warmth I hadn't felt since... Well since this photo ignited the flames again, really. For the first time in forever, my grin stretched in genuine shock and excitement by the wondrous sight all around me, welcoming me in.

Twilight would love THIS!

Equestria is filled with so many wonders, my friend. And Starswirl never sounded as content and gratified as he had then.

"No matter how many times that you do, Jack, I'll always be here to help you up."

...Then Twilight may as well have been the photograph and lights herself, because she fulfilled that promise dutifully like the amazing pony she truly was.

...Whereas I will keep fulfilling my own.

And in my mind's eye, the alicorn Princess smiled benevolently, that angelic sparkle in those beautiful violet orbs. Everything almost felt fine...

---

Sand. Hate. It.

Not much further now Jack. Starswirl kept on encouraging, obviously expecting me to walk through this blasted area towards shelter. Beautiful as those lights were, I'm afraid you'd lack for sleep with too much light keeping you awake.

Yeah yeah... Although the warmth they provided seemed to imply I was safe and content to sleep even on that grass. Part of me considered going back to that beach house, but that was already miles back and I was growing drained enough on the walk here. My feet were hurting at this point and I just wanted to catch some rest.

There's been enough excitement for one evening!

"Hoo!"

"I see it." I nodded, following after the bird towards the gaping gave at the very end of the beach. Finally, I huffed after another few pace walking, knees threatening at this point to buckle. Then it was time find some most-comfortable-as-they-could-get rocks to sleep atop than the sand itself. If that latter happened, Starswirl better had conjured up a portable washing machine on standby.

Maybe I'll dream of blissful memories again. Maybe of Twilight and I together in Manehatten, twice, or our first ever argument. Or the time we fought Sombra together. Or maybe, just maybe, when I somehow managed to convince Twilight to let me bet away our old home against two con ponies under the confidence Applejack could win a...

Competition...? What the [BEEP] have I just stumbled into, another Daring Do adventure...?

Because I was expecting some damp wet cave upon arrival, not Nightshade and I's flabbergasted expressions towards an interior housed with fixed-in mirrors and cave drawings. Someone had evidently set up home a while back, interesting. Who would live all the way out here? A hermit.

And with all these mirror as part of the walls too. A hermit with vanity issues?

Jack, wait. Take a closer at those drawings. I do believe I recognize them somewhere...

At Starswirl's wondrous tone trailing off, I shrugged, slowly walking around to indulge the dead unicorn and examine the paintings one by one. You owe a comfy bed for this, teach. But it all looked gibberish to me, but Twilight could probably translate them if Starswirl was familiar enough with them. They seem to show images of several four-legged creatures resembling griffons and... Griffons with tails? Couldn't be right.

Eventually, I paused before a large thin mirror, taking a note of just how awful I looked. By God, how did Starlight cope putting me with me in our brief reunion? I looked like an unwrapped mummy! My eyes just looked so... Drained and exhausted.

Christ all these months alone have taken their toll on me. Would I even need to ask how long it's been now, Starswirl?

Likely not, Jack. I fear you may not appreciate the answer.

Yeah... My hand tentatively reached, fingers brushing over the clearly aged glass with a weary expression meeting my hazel gaze.

Twilight would be more than annoyed and exasperated at the state of me. Hopefully Starlight didn't tell heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer-!

Comments

[PickleRickInAPickle]

A few typos in the first half (along with a text message U instead of the word you) but a good chapter with a lot of feeling.
Though that title makes me wonder if we will ever have Luna encounter Jack in his dreams...then again, I guess Starswhirl could probably magic up some way to keep Jack's dreams hidden.

[Amos Anon]

Ah, this story just keeps getting better.