A Journey Beyond Sanity

by Darkwing Dust

Chapter Eighty-Eight: Team Spike and Star

It's a beautiful day outside.

Birds are singing. Flowers are blooming.

...Shame we weren't outside enjoying the lovely weather.

"Your arse is grass, Spike!"

"Bring it, Star!"

Nooo. Instead, one human-turned-pony and baby dragon were enjoying themselves with the classic game they've been playing ever since Spike's last Birthday: Plastic sword sparring. Careful not to be too rough with the little guy, I mostly resorted to simply blocking the lizard's wild attacks against his own 'weapon,' occasionally giving Spike an opening to score a direct hit.

"Ha! Take that you fiend!"

"Curse you dragon!"

And sometimes, I returned the favour in kind.

"Ow! You hit my fingers!"

"At least you still have those!"

"Not for long if this keeps up..."

But all our taunts were in jest. Needless to say, both lizard and I were having a blast. It's been too long since myself and Spike devoted an entire day of just hanging out and having some brotherly bonding time. Dealing with preparing for the menace that was Tirek and spending quality time with Twilight had me preoccupied for a while now.

"Star! Stop holding back!"

"Who said I was holding back?"

But now, it was back to good ol' fashioned brotherly time with the little dragon. About time too, I missed having fun with him. Not that spending time with the others wasn't appealing, but I felt as though Spike has been left out, and I resolved to rectify that mistake posthaste.

What kind of brother would I be otherwise?

"Spike, your position is too off. Raise your blade higher."

"Like this- Ow! Hey! That's cheating!"

"Warriors don't play fair, Spike."

With a smirk, I twirled my plastic sword playfully, waiting for the dragon to charge again, and he happily did, with a predatory grin on such a small dragon's face. Hopefully Twilight wouldn't mind that we were using the library as a training ground again.

Nah, of course she wouldn't.

---

"Catch!"

All too easy.

I smirked, the ball spinning in my hoof to tease the young dragon further. Without warning, I bounced the round toy back at Spike, who leaped up to catch it. "Nice one!" I praised proudly, smiling at the glowing look on his face for the compliment.

Sometimes, the dragon can be a little too ahead of himself when it comes to other praising him for a job well done. And other times, Twilight's influence shines through, such as now.

I can't comprehend why you compliment his skills over catching a ball.

Whoa, hey now! You almost made me miss the ball, Sombra! Swiftly catching the thing, I bounced the colourful object back at a waiting Spike. From the corner of my eye, ponies glancing over to the bonding smiled warmly at the sight, spending their own quality time among friends and family in the park, and it gratified me to see that others were thinking I was doing a good job of being someone Spike can look up to. Ego much? Maybe, but is it wrong to at least feel proud of something like that?

You fail to answer my statement.

What's wrong with cheering Spike on? I smiled proudly after catching the ball at Spike, who motioned with a grin for me to throw it back. I obliged happily, continuing my trail of thought to the fallen King. There's no harm in encouraging a young kid like this; so long as you don't indulge him too much. It's what anyone else would do for a child's development.

Although the dragon's not your brother... Nor your son.

No... But I'd be damn proud if he was either.

Catching the ball again, I bounced it forwards in return, and this time the playful dragon had to roll back to grab it as it bounced over him. Perhaps having a big brother - or, yes, even father - type of figure to help raise him would do him more good. Not that I doubt Twilight's capabilities; on the contrary, she'd make a great sister or mother figure.

But with her new responsibilities... Well, I'm more than happy to indulge Spike's fantasy of having a big brother.

But not your own fantasy of having your own spawn?

The mockful jab incited my frown, and the ball narrowly missed my face at that, reflexes over self-training managing to catch the ball before it flew over onto someone's picnic blanket. Noticing my look, Spike expressed concern, prompting me to forcibly smile in reassurance and pass the ball back, not wanting to worry the dragon.

There was no time today for dreaming of things that can never be.

Why are you spending time with this runt anyway? Sombra sneered, clearly not enjoying the show. Shame. Our priority should and must remain on Tirek. Again, for times too many to count, you are wasting valuable effort by interacting with these inferior ponies instead of seeking out that monster and putting an end to him indefinitely.

Tirek can-

'Wait?' Is that what you were about to claim? The tyrant snapped, this time sounding more annoyed than usual. I'd dare say exasperated. That creature isn't going to stay patient boy; as we speak he feasts on the magical energy of all equine kind; empowering himself through the means of something even I call audacious. The more you choose to distract yourself with such childish games, the sooner Tirek will destroy you and your friends. Ask yourself, is that what you truly desire?

The ball caught in my hands, I paused briefly, mulling over Sombra's words... And the exact tone he used saying them.

You really are afraid of him, aren't you Sombra...?

I swore I heard the dark pony sniff. The King of Fear does not feel fear.

It's okay to be afraid, my friend... I know what we are facing, and I won't let my friends, or you, down.

...No reply.

"Stardust?"

Hearing a curious voice, I shook my head from my stupor, smiling reassuringly at the observant dragon. And, passing the ball back, I called out with forced happiness, "Hey, Spike, let's get some ice cream after this!"

The toy being thrown at me at a much faster speed was the positive answer I needed to clear my thoughts.

---

"Spike, slow down," I chided humouredly as the enthusiastic dragon was making a mess on the ground. "You're licking the ice cream off the cone."

But Spike paid no heed, content with the jewel-flavoured ice cream he got from the store just now. Suppose I couldn't blame him, my equal love for chocolate was making it hard for the stuff not to drip onto my furry chest. In my mind, Sombra groaned in distaste, and I distinctly heard him mumble something about manners.

Hah! He's one to talk.

Spike then let out a gibberish sound from his mouth full of frozen liquid, and I asked in amusement, "What?"

Swallowing, the dragon repeated himself, "What are we gonna do next?"

"Hm, good question." I titled my head, pondering on what else the dragon and I could do together. "We could... Bake a cake."

"A jewel cake?"

Laughter emerged from my throat at the earnest question, spits of chocolate cream falling out. "Sure, why not?" Even though I had no idea how to make such a thing, but I chose not to say that at Spike's gleeful expression.

The next few moments were spent with us two just walking around the town, licking and munching happily on our ice creams. Jesus, that tastes good. It's been too long since I last had the stuff; I was afraid they would serve them with chocolate and hay or something repulsive to human taste. Although, the cake that was baked for Twilight had hay in it, and it was... Surprisingly decent, you could barely taste the hay at all. Though that hardly stopped Twilight and Spike from laughing at my look upon actually tasting even the faintest bits of hay.

"Hey... Stardust?"

I noticed the dragon had finished his cone, and I looked down at him while finishing my own. "Hm?"

The dragon suddenly seemed rather nervous, as if hesitant to say whatever he was going to say. I'm sure it's nothing too bad. At my reassuring and encouraging expression, Spike blurted out, "When are you gonna go home?"

What? "Erm, I mean the library's only a few blocks away-"

"No, I mean... When are you gonna go home home?"

What does he...

...Oh.

"I... Don't know," I replied softly, regarding the dragon curiously, "Why do you-?"

"So, there's no telling exactly how long you'll be in Equestria?"

I took note of the hopeful tone, shrugging. "I suppose not, but-"

"Then for we all know, you could stay here for a very long time?"

Where was Spike going with this? "I guess but-"

"Possibly forever."

"Maybe-" Stopping myself, I reorganized my thoughts and asked with a frown, "Spike, what brought this on?"

Spike, however, didn't answer. He only halted in his tracks, inciting me to mimic that. The dragon was regarding the ground, mouth dripping in melted ice cream thinned, eyes seeming undetermined, almost as if he was at war with himself about something. Yet before I could place a hoof on his shoulder for comfort, those young eyes snapped up at me. "Are you happy here?"

Happy?

"Being here... Y'know, with me and Twilight and everypony else. Are you happy living here with us?"

"Of course I am," I answered earnestly. Did I look unhappy about it? Maybe a long time ago, certainly, but I've changed. I know I have. Smiling, I continued to assure the lizard, "Of course I'm happy; I wouldn't trade my time with you, Twilight and all my friends for anything in the world."

Looking down after meeting my stare, Spike let out a low mutter, sounding rather saddened, "But you would just to go back home..."

...Ah...

He was that bothered by me thinking of going home. Determined to go home.

"Do you have to go back?"

Images of those I cherished more than anything else sprung to mind. My brother, my sisters, my parents. Cousins and everyone else dear to me, all memories good and irritating. The thoughts had me reply in a near-whisper, "My family's waiting for me Spike..."

"But, we're family."

"My real family."

It only took a few seconds before I comprehended what I just said. That instantly vanquished my own train of thought to look down at the depressed dragon with wide eyes and remorseful tone.

"Spike, I didn't mean-"

The dragon raised a hand, and I paused without thinking. Spike spoke in a quiet tone, eyes firmly set on the ground, "No, I get it. Family's important right? I wouldn't want to be separated from my real family either..."

"Spike..."

But the upset dragon already began walking off, obviously heading back to the library, back and shoulder slumped and tone so depressed it caused me to feel even more guilt, "I'll see ya back at the library, I guess..."

...Goddammit...

---

And, once again boy, you have proven my point.

Without looking up, my stern gaze fell on the row of books I was putting away. Oh? Pray tell, Sombra, exactly what point is that?

Humanity always brings ruin, and nothing more. I winced, recognizing the tone of voice as a lecture, How many times now have you brought sadness and chaos to this world through words and actions? Notice how the dragon was easily despaired by your own selfish desires.

Selfish? Grounding my teeth, I placed the new book back to its proper place, not downright glaring at the innocent object. How precisely is my need to see my family again so self-centered?

Your need, Sombra responded patronizingly, as though it were obvious and I was an idiot, Your special mare claims you to regard the desires of others before your own, but I know better than the naive Princess ever could. In the end, you would willingly trade their happiness for your own passage home.

Then my mind began being plagued by images of smiling mares, stallions and a certain dragon, all looking cheerful and merry. And then they shifted, features morphing into sadness. And that only prompting my own self-regret and depression even further.

Has it ever occurred to you, boy, that Equestria is your home now, and you might as well finally grow accustomed to that fact?

My hoof paused, stretching out to put another book back in its shelf, a whirlwind of thoughts circling through me, my stomach twisting and emotions rampant as conflict rose inside my being. Sombra's words were like a blow to the stomach, and both negative... Yet positive... Feelings arise from his statement.

I did want to go back... Didn't I...?

Of-Of course!

My family, they... They needed me! They need their eldest brother, their eldest son. They needed their... Autistic inconvenience... Otherwise their lives would be so dull without me...

...Right?

My eyes by default regarded the wooden floor, mind uncertain what to believe at this moment. Twilight and the others... They didn't need me... They could've handled every problem they encountered without me. They should've! So why...

Why... Did the idea of leaving them feel so painful...?

"That's the wrong order."

What the-?!

I was startled out of my depressive trail of thought, greeted by the sight of someone who brought a sense of comfort... And yet, guilt as well. Twilight only smiled beside me, regarding the shelves herself, horn lighting up to place the books back in the right orders.

Oh... "Sorry..."

"It's fine, it looked like you were preoccupied by your thoughts anyway." And from that tone, it was clear to me that Twilight immediately knew something was up. Nodding in satisfaction, purple sparkling eyes then glanced at me. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really..."

A warm hoof touched my chest, and a part of me was gratified that the mare wouldn't let the subject drop so quickly. "I hate seeing you so upset. In fact, you looked almost conflicted about something."

"Astute as always..." I mumbled, before raising my voice slightly to sound more clearer, those entrancing eyes inciting me to speak my uncertain mind, "Just a conversation I had with Spike about something..."

Twilight smiled softly. "About you returning home."

God dammit-!

"He told you?"

The mare nodded, her expression sympathetic. "He's quite upset by the idea of you leaving us... I suppose I can't blame him in that regard." Even I could see through the weak smile, that wince in her eyes.

Please, not you too...

"What was I suppose to say, Twilight?" I asked, sounding almost pleading, "That I'd rather stick around than never see the people who raised me, who had been there for me for most of my life thus far, ever again?"

Twilight shook her head, expression patient and understanding. "I know what you're feeling right now, Jack; you yearn to see your family again more than anything, but at the same time, you don't want to hurt Spike or anyone elses feelings by going." Trust her to know me that well. "Do you ever regret befriending us? Becoming a big brother role for Spike? Or being my special somepony?"

My hoof clasped around her own in response, voice firm and eyes narrowed, "Not in a million years," And I caught a flash of glee in those purple orbs, prompting my own smile. "My time with you, Spike and everyone else has been invaluable. You are a second family to me," Then, those images of my own blood-related family returned to mind, and my tone lowered again, "But... I can't just forget about those who raised me and grew up with me."

"I know." Leaning forward, the beautiful alicorn pressed her head under my ponified chin, providing a warm hug which calmed me down, significantly. "And we would never ask you to. The truth is... I don't want you to go just as much as Spike does..."

"Twilight-"

"But I would never ask you to stay if it meant sacrificing your own happiness, even for me."

"You are my happiness," I replied immediately, stern and determined before I could even think of responding, "Spike is the best brother I've ever had since arriving here. If it were up to me, I would bring my friends, Spike, you and my family back home together if it were possible. But it isn't... And I can't..."

"...Spike is also proud to have you as family too," Twilight said from beneath me, sounding both content and reassuring, "And even though you might not stick around forever, it would be prudent to spend as much time together as possible... As brothers."

I'm very proud of my little dragon bro... But Twilight's last statement caused me to smile slightly. "Not worried I might spend more time with him than you?"

Twilight let out a humoured noise, "Well... At least spare some time with me before we reach that point." Then, moving away from the hug, Twilight beamed and looked over her shoulder. "You see Spike? Jack wants to spend as much time as possible with you too."

Huh... Was he listening in the whole time?

The dragon slowly walked down the steps, approaching us with an uncertain, yet hopeful expression. But before he could speak, it was my turn to say something, "Spike... Even though I won't be around forever, I will cherish every moment with you, Twilight and all our friends in my heart until the end of my life. You're the second greatest thing to ever happen to me... Though let's not tell the others I said that." That, at least, incited a small grin on his face. "And I think we all know what the first greatest thing is." Twilight looked away, blushing brightly at our glances but grinning herself regardless. I chuckled, carrying on back to the dragon. "But until I leave, let's not focus on my eventual departure, but the present where we can do all the fun things together... Alright?"

Imagine my surprise when the young lizard instantly nodded in response, "Sure thing... Big bro," And now, I was grinning, embracing Spike who ran to me for a hug, content and relief exploding through my heart. And from the side, Twilight smiled happily, pride and bliss as her expression, eyes praising me for a job well done.

I believe the appropriate gesture here is 'Barf...'

"Come on bro! We've got a jewel cake to bake!" The dragon hurriedly grabbed my hoof and started pulling me to the kitchen. And I met Twilight's amused look, mirroring that myself, before responding to the dragon.

"Don't forget to wash your hands first, Spike."

"Sure thing, Mom."

"No, she's your mother."

Twilight interjected, "Well actually-"

"Then sure thing, Dad."

"Now don't take that tone on me, young dragon. You're grounded for the rest of the day."

"What? No fair!"

"Spike, listen to your father."

"But Twilight-!"

"That's 'mother' to you, young dragon. Don't make me extend that punishment by your father."

"You can't be serious!"

"Your mother's always serious. Why do you think I married her?"

"But you're not married yet!" Spike pouted, prompting the mare and I to exchange humoured glances before we both laughed at the playful scenario we were indulging ourselves in. Then Spike asked meekly, "Can we still bake the cake?"

That only made me laugh harder. "Hahahaha! Sure thing, Spike!" And I followed the back-to-cheerful Spike to the kitchen-

Wait...

"'Not married yet?!'" I repeated Spike's words incredulously, at the doorway, glancing back at the red-faced mare who shyly looked away, hastily heading towards some shelves.

---

"-And so, the Prisoner of Azkaban was freed indefinitely; flying away from Hogwarts on the magnificent Hippogriff to safety, away from the sterile and corrupt system of the magic government."

"And the heroes didn't get in trouble for it?"

"No no. That's the beauty of youth; being heavily underestimated. Only Dumbledore knew of Harry and Hermione's actions that night. While Professor Snape highly suspected them - big shock - and everyone else could only speculate that Sirius escaped by his own hand."

"And Harry got back his godfather."

"And Harry got back his godfather."

Spike folded his arms, huffing slightly, "Even though he's still seen as guilty by everyone else! He's innocent! That's just not fair!"

Smiling, I patted the dragon's head in a fond manner. "Life isn't fair, Spike, but those with the strongest willpower can get through the bad things life throws at us." The dragon reacted positively to the touch, closing his eyes in content while slinking further in his bed. "Now, I think it's time for you to get some rest."

"Aww, can't we have one more story? Please? I wanna hear what happens next!"

My eyes spotted Twilight, watching quietly from the doorway. Sorry, mate, but I think Twilight wants her young dragon to sleep.

"Another time, Spike." Resolving to fix that disappointed look, I reached down and prompted laughter from the lizard's mouth, tickling his stomach. "Tomorrow night, I think."

"H-Hey! Stop it haha! That tickles hahahaha!" I relented afterwards, Spike smiling up at me... Then said smile lowered. "Hey, Stardust."

"Yeah?"

"You'll never forget about me right?"

"Never," I answered immediately. Of course, I would never forget him or the girls. "You've already made it impossible for me to, even if I tried."

"You promise?"

I grinned at that hopeful voice. "I Pinkie Swear... But don't ever tell anyone I said that, least of all Pinkie Pie." The dragon chuckled at my wink, and I stood up, rubbing his head one last time in brotherly fondness. "Goodnight Spike."

"I'm glad..." The dragon yawned, shifting comfortably. "Night, bro..."

With one last fleeting look towards the baby dragon, my smile rose as I left the room, switching off the light. Twilight, meanwhile, was beaming in radiance as I approached, magically shutting the door behind me.

"'Pinkie Swear?'" The mare practically teased in a low voice.

Shrugging, my expression was sheepish. "I can break character from time to time."

We began walking, moving away from the dark bedroom so Spike wouldn't have any interruptions from sleeping. Twilight then said rather softly, "You know, I think Spike is just as much an influence on you as you are on him."

"Well, don't sell yourself short love." I grinned humouredly.

Purple eyes glanced at me. "You're changed, and for the better I might add." Halting briefly, Twilight stated next, "Spike will never forget you either... Nor will our friends, or I." I didn't even bother replying vocally. Instead, I let this kiss do the talking for me, gently cupping Twilight's heated chin and bringing her pleased muzzle to meet my own.

Good grief, my heart felt like exploding...

---

"What are the chances this play will be better than Hinny of the Hill...?"

"Huh? But I thought you enjoyed Hinny of the Hill."

"Did I?" I frowned thoughtfully, struggling to recall my exact reaction to the performance back in Manehattan. "I don't remember..."

Ah well. Anyway, it was nice of the mares to ask Spike and I to attend the Crusader's play in place of them, as the girls were preoccupied helping Rarity finish up some important dresses. The white unicorn was behind schedule, which was unusual, but these things happen.

"I think it's starting!" Spike proclaimed in a loud whisper, sitting beside me along with the audience. I smirked, subconsciously rubbing the lizard's forehead at his gleeful anticipation for the play. What gave it away Spike? The loud trumpet or the large curtains being drawn back to reveal the stage setting, two certain fillies wearing sparkling formal attire from eons ago?

Medieval, of course. I clapped along with the audience. This should be quite good, so long as we don't have a repeat of the girl's 'comedy act' back from ages ago.

Jesus, how long I've been here...

Another filly entered the stage, the spotlight revealing it to be Sweetie Belle, who looked dreadfully unsure of herself to my eyes. Oh, never mind, she then grinned brightly, now looking pleased with herself.

The play began.

If they ever perform a retelling of that incident at my Empire, then I shall rein a thousand curses on them...

Comments

[Spike in mlp]

then I shall rein a thousand curses on them...
.
..
...
...Moses?

[Omnicron25]

This is the best story I've read in months! I can't remember the last time I felt emotions this strong from just reading a story. Stardust, while your grammar/spelling could use a tad of work, you've made a marvelous work. BTW, this chapter especially helped clear up a particularly dower mood, so thank you.

[Darkwing Dust]

7784903 I am honoured and flattered by your praise. Thank you very much, my friend, and I hope the story continues to entertain with next week's chapter!

[Omnicron25]

7784917
Wow! I didn't look at the chapter post dates. I'm not used to someone updating on a schedule. By the by, would you mind if I point out errors in upcoming chapters if I see them? Rather, would you correct them? Most are things that are easily missed (like the occasional misspelled/placed word). If not, that's alright. I just wanted to see your story thrive.

[Darkwing Dust]

7787152 By all means! I welcome all forms of criticism and suggestions of improvement - aside from those veiled by harsh insults and death threats - so I'll do my best to correct any and all mistakes from the current chapter in question.

[Omnicron25]

7787240
No worries, I'm rather blunt, but not cruel or petty. Most of the errors are fairly common writing errors in any case--mostly punctuation that have to do with dialogue which can be a bear for me as well. I've sent you a PM with the suggested corrections.

What? "Erm, I mean the library's only a few blocks away-"

"No, I mean... When are you gonna go home home?"

What does he...

...Oh.

By the way, love this part as it's very believably written. I've caught myself doing that a dozen times just in my own everyday life, though my memory is not the greatest.

[VikingOtaku6]

It's a beautiful day outside.
Birds are singing. Flowers are blooming.

On days like thi-, oh, we're not going there...