A Journey Beyond Sanity

by Darkwing Dust

Chapter Thirty-Nine: Balance Development

"Are you the first?"

"The first what, sorry?"

"The first of your kind to have ever traveled between worlds." Twilight clarified, while also effectively knocking out my remaining bishop. The move caused me to wince; I couldn't afford anymore of my advantageous pieces to be removed from the board.

"Unless you count the moon as a world, I am, indeed, the first of my species to have ever randomly end up in another planet." I replied conversationally while moving another pawn forward, setting up a defense that will stall the mare's forces long enough for my plan to work.

Chess had officially became a part of our sessions together, as a way of Twilight getting the information she desires down without it becoming a bore. Plus, it keeps my brain on high alert, enabling me to be more helpful when providing descriptions and explanations whenever the knowledge-seeking unicorn asked for them.

"You said your people had the technology to travel to your planet's moon." Twilight recalled, thinking thoroughly before initiating her next move, moving her knight to the left of the board. "And that you're close to travelling to a neighboring planet. Mars wasn't it?"

I smirked at the recollection. "Do you remember everything I tell you, Twilight?"

A faint smile, her eyes not looking up from the board. "Only the important parts." Shocking.

"Fair enough." I moved my black castle to the side, setting up the wall of defense required. It was always like this; I'd choose black whenever we played this game. Twilight often asked why I prefer black to white, stating there was a higher probability of victory when a player chooses white. My response was an indifferent shrug, telling her that old habits died hard.

Even as a child I always chose black in every chess game. Why stop now?

"Yet you don't have the technology capable of transporting you to another world countless light years away from your solar system?" I shook my head, Twilight sounding vastly intrigued. "So there's no other possibility than this 'Specter' being responsible for bringing you here."

"Considering these circumstances, my dear, there are few plausible explanations to consider." I confirmed, frowning at the next piece she moved. And straight afterwards, Twilight turned her attention to the floating parchment beside her, the quill writing down the entire conversation.

It took a few minutes before any of us spoke again, planning our moves carefully, knocking out each other's pieces, mostly the pawns, to get to our respective queens. I wasn't ashamed to admit that Twilight won most of the rounds, because even I wasn't an intelligent mastermind, unlike her. But no matter how many times I lose, I enjoyed the game all the more. The opponents I faced back home during this game were dreadfully boring, and Twilight offered a refreshing challenge.

An obstacle to overcome. And at least she didn't cheat unlike her sore loser of a mentor.

"Remember when Princess Celestia asked you to live with me- in the library?" Twilight quickly corrected herself, causing me to raise a humoured brow. "Why did you say yes?"

I shrugged at the honest inquiry, refraining from averting my eyes from the board. "Your house IS a library, Twilight. Apart from my fondness of those in general, it did possibly have the information I required to return home."

"Yet that was all for naught."

I sighed at the truthful words. "Unfortunately."

Then I felt a pitying glance towards me. Don't you dare, Twilight- "I'm sure you'll return home sooner or later. Trust me."

I shrugged off the reassuring words, moving another pawn forward to stall for time. My wall of defense was complete and perfect. All I need to do now was knock our her king and we're golden. "Truth be told, Twilight, I was going to reject the offer of staying here at first, regardless of a beneficial library to reside within."

"Why's that?" The unicorn inquired, swiftly removing my black pawn with her one of two castles.

"I despise being a burden to anyone, or accepting hospitality when I don't deserve it." My next move was my own castle sneaking upwards from the side, knocking out her white bishop.

The tone was humourous. "Well, you've yet to be a burden to me at all." Twilight retaliated by advancing another pawn to stop my castle, evidently stalling for time as to penetrate my defenses. "Despite our arguments and bickering, and your blatant disrespect towards the Princess, your negative attitude, your exaggerate praise towards me-"

"Oh? You don't like the compliments?" I cut her off in amusement, her own words finally prompting me to glance upwards at the flushing mare. Ah how it was entertaining to tease the modest pony.

"Not that they're not appreciated." Twilight quickly replied, keeping her intense eyes focused on the board. "But sometimes you just exaggerate with what you say about me and my capabilities."

That incited me to smirk, returning my gaze to the board as she began assaulting my wall of defense. "My dear Twilight, nothing I say about you is exaggerated."

---

Thus we begin experiment number I've-lost-count. Myself wearing that ridiculous metal helmet again which was attached to that advanced machine, concentrating on the piece of board in front of me. The purpose? Utilizing my quote and unquote "superpower" to smash this wood before me in half. From the side, Twilight observed nearby the machine which will present the information from my next action.

Shocking that everything surrounding us in this basement hasn't been filled to the brink yet. Months upon months of sessions has currently resulted in mountains of neat organized papers stacked in piles all over the place, all the information I provided to Twilight about my home planet and its inhabitants. Utterly amazing how I haven't grown tired of it yet.

"You may begin when ready." Twilight spoke. I nodded, raising my front right limb upwards to give this innocent board a swift karate chop. We were to begin by having me deliver a normal hit without using my power, and then trying with that power. It was one of many tests we've conducted before, also having see how magic affects me quite differently to others, and what else my so-called "gift" was capable of.

Specter did mention there were other things balance can do, and that I'll find out eventually. When I said as much to Twilight, the mare immediately resorted to helping me find out. So far? Nothing, aside from the super strength.

Swinging the limb downwards, I winced at the following pain that my hoof suffered. Ow.

"Hmm, nothing yet." The oblivious unicorn said, not even glancing towards me. "Now, try again, this time with that strength of yours."

Alright...

Setting my aching right limb down, it was my left's turn, raising that one upwards to obliterate the undamaged board. Okay, let's see... what positive and negative emotions were I feeling at the moment? Well, annoyance at the pain of my right hoof, that's negative. As for positive... hm... well I generally don't feel blissful emotions. I quickly scanned the room for anything that would assist.

And the answer was right in front of me, in the form of an intelligent studious purple mare.

Pushing those two different emotions to the forefront of my mind, I swung down. And... not much happened. My other limb didn't feel as much pain this time, yet the board wasn't snapped in half by the force of it. Quite the contrary, a circle of cracks was the result of my swift chop.

Huh...

Hearing the machine Twilight was observing at work, I switched my gaze to the focused unicorn, who was pulling our the paper presenting the results, regarding it thoughtfully. "Intriguing..."

"...Care to share your findings, Twilight?" I inquired while rubbing one limb in comfort before the other.

"Your body evidently gained a significant boost of muscle when you temporarily utilized that power." Twilight began, stating the obvious of course. Her purple eyes frowned at the long paper before her. "These readings show that, however, there was no change in your physique upon doing so. Have you noticed, Stardust, that when using this power, there's no expanse of muscles on your body?"

...Now that you come to mention it. I looked down, examining my chest and front limbs. I see no physical upgrade, my body remains as thing as ever. I never really exercise, so it comes as no surprise by the clear lack of muscle. "I've... never really noticed, Twilight, no. I was rather preoccupied with fighting for my life whenever using it."

The unicorn was currently too serious, however, to take a joke. "No boost in muscle mass. Nothing changed in your bloodstream. No significant difference to brain activity. Nothing. It's as though that gift of yours came from something along the lines of willpower."

"Or balance."

Twilight nodded. "Or balance." Finally, she glanced up from the readings, which was just a long sheet of paper with a zigzagging red line in the middle. How she managed to decipher anything from that, I'll never know. "If I'm to guess, from my own studies of the concept, your temporary physical prowess is equal to that of whatever you combat against. This is all speculation, but it'd explain why you were only able to damage the board there, and not completely break it."

Yes, Specter mentioned as such. It makes sense... I suppose...

"Don't worry, I'm still as puzzled as you are." Twilight said upon seeing my expression, looking down at the reading again with a thoughtful "Hmm..."

"Hey Twilight! Stardust!" Our gazes quickly turned to the running Spike, who had been quiet the whole time, researching for some things at Twilight's request. Carrying an open book with him, the dragon set the information on the nearby table, making room be shoving some of the stacked papers out of the way, which Twilight was quick to catch with her horn. "You two might want to see this."

Oh?

Exchanging curious glances, the mare and I approached the table and glanced down at the page where Spike was pointing at. "Look at it closely. Doesn't it seem familiar to you two?"

The lizard was pointing specifically at a picture, in sketched form. It was of a heart, the shape of one not a human heart. Wings were sticking out of the sides of the top part, both looking like a combination of an angel and demon wings. In the middle was that of a large star, each point of it joining the line of the heart it was centered in. I frowned, an inkling in my brain that this picture does, indeed, look familiar...

But where...?

A gasp of realization from Twilight. "Of course!" We both looked at the suddenly excited mare. "Stardust, remove your cape."

Remove my-? Oh!

Knowing exactly where Twilight wanted to look, I pulled back the dark blue fabric to an extent, revealing the offending cutie mark in question. Gesturing for me to keep displaying it for a moment, the knowledgeable unicorn proceeded with looking back and forth from the picture to my permanent tattoo.

"Yeah, it looks almost exactly like Stardust's cutie mark, doesn't it?" Spike asked rhetorically. That it does, I'll have to agree. Though the major differences being that unlike the picture, my damn mark had no wings on the sides, and the star in the center of the heart wasn't massive, none of the star's ends meeting the outlines of the larger shape.

"What book was this again, Spike?" Twilight asked without looking.

"'Generations Of Theorized Meanings Behind The Concept Of Balance.'" Spike said the book's title, looking justifiably pleased with himself.

Generations of-? I see...

I smirked down, proud of the dragon. "Good job Spike. I think we have some doggy treats lying around here for you."

Spike beamed. "Well thanks I- Hey!"

Glancing at Twilight, I realized I'll be in this position for a while now; the expression and postures of the unicorn indicated she was in "study mode". What does that entail? Well it basically means that neither Spike or I will be dismissed from the mare's presence for a long time.

Saving myself the pain of a further aching limb, I fully removed the cape, quickly feeling literally naked without it. Honestly, despite these ponies having clothes, I just wish they'd all have some form of decency. Plus it was unnerving for Twilight to be checking out... my rear end.

Ugh...

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." I muttered, and regretted it immediately as Twilight nodded in agreement, an old-fashioned camera appearing out of nowhere and a white flash covered my field of vision.

Argh!

"Where did you say you studied balance from, Stardust?" Twilight inquired as I rubbed my eyes.

"I'm fine, Twilight thank you." I said irritably as clear sight returned to me. "And in answer to your question, I didn't."

"All right, then where did you study the concept?"

"...Nowhere?" What was Twilight asking, exactly?

At the genuine answer, the unicorn curiously regarded me. "'Nowhere'? Surely you've researched about balance from either books or those computer things you've told me about." I shook my head, finally grasping what she meant now. Twilight then blinked. "Wait a minute... you mean you've never done any research about balance itself, from anything? You just made up your philosophy from scratch?"

Well Star Wars and Kingdom Hearts played a hand in the development of how I perceive the concept.

"Well, Twilight, balance is a non-physical element, no?" I shrugged. "I don't need to read or research about it from the opinion of those who died centuries ago."

"But reading about it from those of the past helps you learn." Twilight countered. "Surely the detailed thoughts of others about balance would've helped you develop your philosophy further. You said so yourself that your own ideals were incomplete."

"...I've never really thought about it." I admitted thoughtfully, rubbing my beard. "I don't focus studying as much as you, Twilight, I prefer forming my own views about the subject than getting inspired from someone else's. Besides, I've spent the majority of my life dwelling and creating my philosophy without help from anyone, why start now?"

"It could help you complete your ideals."

"...I suppose." As always, Twilight conjures up sound points. "But I've come too far now to receive any help."

"It's never too late to receive help." Again, sound point my dear. "The problem here is, Stardust, you're reluctant to accept assistance from anyone. Even your friends."

My answer was immediate. "I hate to be a burden-"

"You're never a burden to your friends." Obviously knowing what I was going to say, Twilight cut me off calmly, gesturing to herself and Spike. "We would never consider you as one." The dragon nodded enthusiastically.

"That's because you're too sentimental for your own good." I retorted light-heartedly. But inwardly I felt quite grateful.

Ignoring the comment, Twilight returned her focus to the book. "And clearly, there are benefits to researching about anything of interest. Look at this page Spike found, for example." Alright, there was no argument from me there.

"Are there others on your world who study balance?" Spike asked, taking that silent moment to speak up.

"If there are, I don't know them." Shaking my head, I glanced at the listening dragon. "The concept doesn't really hold much weight to the majority of humanity, Spike, not while so many of us are preoccupied with violence, war and suffering from the aftermath of it all."

"...Well that's a downer." Spike pouted. That's right, pouted.

---

"What did you mean earlier, when answering Spike's question?"

"How do you mean?" I inquired back, closing the oven door as it begun working on the brownies.

Beside me, Twilight was magically swirling the liquid of her tea with the spoon. "When you said that many of your own species were focusing more on war. You mentioned once that your people are more open to violence." Which explains much, I swore was what Twilight was thinking. "But I never really dwelled on it much. Forgive me for asking this, but are your people... at war?"

I snorted at the hesitant question, taking a seat by the table. "They're always at war." I informed the curious unicorn, who joined me by the side. "I prefer not to think about it much myself, but I can't recall a moment, through my entire life, where the entirety of the Earth was at complete and utter peace."

Finishing stirring her tea, Twilight frowned. "But why?"

"Control. Conquest. Setting examples. Any excuse for battle really." I shrugged, glancing behind at the oven. twenty-four minutes by now. "I don't focus on the politics and reasoning behind it all, Twilight, I concern myself more on my own life."

"Even when countless of your own kind are throwing their own lives away?"

"For what they believe in." I sighed, as Twilight stared hard at the surface of her own drink. "I despise the pointless violence as well, Twilight. I might be a warrior-" I frowned a little at the light scoff. "- But that doesn't mean I enjoy even the thought of bloodshed. As far as I'm concerned, these wars will probably go on forever."

Twilight didn't speak for a moment, before finally murmuring. "That's probably the most pessimistic statement to have ever left your muzzle." As she took a sip.

I chuckled. "Well, I prefer being realistic than a joy of sunshine."

"Shocking."

"Hmph. Anyway, the current wars back home are more of skirmishes. Around seventy years ago, a war that shook the foundation of my planet ended." Twilight fully regarded me now, catching her complete interest. "Though you might not want to hear this, Twilight, lest I ruin your positive day."

"Well I'll probably learn about it anyway." The unicorn shrugged, looking quite fascinated. "Please, continue."

...Well, her funeral over her innocence.

I slowly nodded. "Alright, though keep in my mind I don't have the entire historic details. You remember what I told you about World War One?" Twilight frowned contemplatively for a moment, before concentrating as a few stacks of paper then appeared on the kitchen table. "I'll take that as a yes. Anyway, while almost a century ago the biggest conflict to have ever taken over Earth ended, it was only two decades later before another followed."

"Only twenty years, while your world was still recovering?" I nodded at Twilight's surprise. Knowing exactly what she was going to do next, I waited as a new notepad and quill appeared out of nowhere for the unicorn to take notes. "Go on."

"A man, an idealist who believed in the racial purity of his own country, rounded up his army through convincing speeches and false promises, and declared war on us once again, instigating the second World War. Unlike our last foe who led the opposing forces during the first conflict, this man is far more infamous, who desired nothing more but to enforce his views on the entire world, believing that all of humanity should be birthed with blonde hair and blue eyes."

Wow, saying that last part out loud made the story sound quite ludicrous.

"This man, who was he?"

I focused on Twilight, meeting her intent gaze with my intense own. "Adolf Hitler." I allowed my clear disgust of that [BEEP]'s name to leave my throat. "An idealistic monster, with the sole purpose of wiping out those he deemed 'impure'. You thought Nightmare Moon and Discord were bad, Twilight? They are nothing, nothing, compared to the villains spawned from my planet."

The unicorn looked as though she was about to protest, but I wasn't having it, "Comparing them with that madman is pointless, regardless. Hitler was a far more genuine threat; he committed acts so atrocious and unforgivable, there was no denying that man had to be put down immediately."

Not even those hilarious parody videos could justify that man's actions.

"What did he do?" Twilight was evidently hesitant upon asking.

"...I don't think you're ready to know, not yet anyway." I said somberly, holding up a hoof as Twilight opened her muzzle. "You're too pure, Twilight, too innocent, like the rest of your species. One day, when I'm certain you can take it, I'll tell you." Hopefully, that will be never. "But for now, simply have the knowledge I'm willingly giving you."

"...All right." Twilight reluctantly agreed, expressing clear disappointment towards my hesitation. "So what happened?"

Nodding my head, I proceeded, occasionally glancing at the oven so I wouldn't lose track of time. "The war lasted for, I believe, about six years, more than its predecessor. More and more countries joined us in our fight against the opposing force. Suffice to say, we were winning. And eventually a fellow ally of ours took siege over our foe's capitol city, where Hitler was occupying."

"And they captured him, thus ending the war?"

"Oh the war ended alright, but not with the imprisonment of that madman." I clarified. "No, Hitler refused to be captured, so he took his own life before we could arrest him."

"I see..." Twilight stared down at her half-empty drink again. "That's... wow."

"Indeed." I chuckled slightly, turning and standing up to check on the brownies. "And even though the war ended, people believed we were finally at peace. But obviously that's not the case. Skirmishes, alongside the short Cold War, occurred decades later, followed by a heinous crime which took thousands of innocent lives."

Hm, well the brownies looked alright. I'll give it another fifteen minutes.

"What crime was that?" I heard a hesitant Twilight ask, as the oven door closed once again.

Turning around, I regarded the innocent purple unicorn. Should I... No, no I've done enough damage, informing her about the actions of one psychotic madman from my world. "You know what... I think we'll save it for another time." Why did I even tell her any of this in the first place? Her curiosity? "I'm sorry for telling you this at all."

"Don't be." There was no disappointment in her tone, thankfully. Slowly meeting my gaze, Twilight asked quietly, obviously puzzled, "But, how can you talk so calmly about any of this? Doesn't the reality of it all hurt? What your own species have done, what they're still doing to this day?"

Retracting my limb, I answered evenly, "As I said before, I don't allow it to bother me that much. Focusing and worrying for the future of my world and people will do me no wonders, Twilight. But it has all showed me one clear thing-"

No. No I'll stop there.

"What?" Twilight pressed upon noticing my hesitation.

"...It doesn't matter." I responded, focusing my gaze to the heated oven. "I've dampened the atmosphere enough, my dear, and I'm sorry for that. I won't do it any further. I'm sure these brownies will cheer us both up, eh?"

---

"Hoo."

"Thank you Nightshade." I acknowledged the owl as the bottle landed on my open hoof, the bird completing its task and proceeding to rest on the perch nearby. Never really minding the bird's quiet presence in my room from time to time, I pulled the cap off and immediately downed the soda.

Ahh, just what I needed. After that depressing conversation with Twilight downstairs, the brownies weren't really of that much help. Losing my appetite, the rest of my share were given to a grateful Spike, who happily devoured the whole plate without a second's hesitation.

"You're a lifesaver my friend." I complimented the perched nocturnal bird before continuing with the book resting on my bent-up knees. Heeding Twilight's advice from the previous afternoon, and for the sake of curiosity, I divulged myself with the words of those written by ponies of another time and era. All in relation to, what else, balance.

More specifically, the picture Spike found earlier. According to the side-text, a wise unicorn had drawn the symbol as one of many ideal representations of balance, displaying the idea of harmony and chaos working together as an entirely new force.

Hm. Looking down, I read the large amount of following paragraphs for any further mention of this apparent unicorn. And I found his name by the bottom third line, and the familiarity incited my head looking upwards in thought.

Now where has I heard that name before-?

And as always, someone knocks in the middle of my thoughts. "Come in." I said flippantly. Honestly, it's as if Equestria was trying to prevent me from seeking out more information.

Oh shocking, it was Twilight who entered the room. "You know, Stardust, Owlicious may be an assistant, but he's not your servant. You could've gotten some soda by yourself."

I smirked at the exasperated tone. "I'm just putting our friend Nightshade here to good use, my dear."

"Owlicious."

"Nightshade."

Twilight shook her head. "I'm not starting this again with you."

"Aww, and here I thought we were sharing something special." I chuckled, resuming my gaze on the pages. "How can I help you then, Twilight?"

The purple mare approached, close enough to reach the corner of my eye. "I wish to continue a discussion we've had earlier."

...Oh boy.

A tired sigh escaped my muzzle. "Twilight, I'm sorry for telling you the tragedies of my home planet-"

"Not that." Twilight quickly cut me off, prompting my curious glance. Oh? "I want to talk about the circumstances behind your arrival in Equestria."

...Oh.

Setting the book to the side, I sat upwards as Twilight magically summoned a chair for her to sit down. "You have my attention."

The unicorn nodded, clearing her throat politely. "From my understanding, Specter presented you with certain tasks to complete before you can return home." I nodded, curious as to where Twilight was going with this. "This second task had something to do with our friends, correct?"

Oh, gotta be careful here. I never informed the mare exactly whats my tasks entail.

"Yes, I am to interact more with those I befriend in your world." I clarified carefully.

"Oh, that's the case?" Twilight sounded genuinely surprised, purple eyes blinking at this new information. "Then why didn't you say so? We could have lessened our sessions so you could hang out more with the others."

"I interact with you and Spike often, don't I?" A rhetorical question.

"Well, I suppose but-"

"So there we go. Besides, out of everyone's company on this damn world, I enjoy yours, and Spike's, the most." That wasn't flattery, that was the simple truth of things.

Yet Twilight clearly perceived it as a compliment, her purple features brightened considerably as she looked away nervously. "Thank you... I enjoy your company a lot too... As I'm sure Spike does as well..."

Thus prompting a smirk. "As I said, too sentimental for your own good, my dear."

Instead of returning the jab, the mare quickly recomposed herself. "Anyway, that's your second task, to hang out more with us?" I nodded in confirmation. "If you don't mind me asking, what was the first task?"

I DO mind you asking. But that would be far too rude of me to express.

"It's... not really relevant." Should I just flat-out lie to her? Twilight understood the deception last time. But if she discovered I did it again, right here... Well what can I exactly say to her, that won't give her the wrong idea?!

Twilight interpreted my hesitance as something else, expressing amusement. "How bad can it be?"

"Not 'bad', per say. But I doubt you'll want to hear this." Shut up. Just stop talking Stardust! Change the conversation!

Twilight scoffed. "After your history lesson today, I think I'll manage. Or did this Specter demand you not share the details of your previous task?"

"Well no but-" Just shut up Stardust!

"...Does it have something to do with me?" No answer. "...Our friends?" I forced myself to looked away. "...Stardust." Her tone was soft, reassuring even, and I felt my teeth clench. "You can trust me, you know that. Did Specter ask you to do something in relation to me and the others?"

Inhaling deeply, I slowly nodded. "Yes..." The word barely left a whisper. Please don't get mad, Twilight...

"...He asked you to befriend us, didn't he." Damn! She called it out! Her speculation was obviously confirmed by my flinch. "That's what this Specter did. He asked you to become our friend in order to return home, is that it?"

"Yes..." I forced myself to confess, refusing to meet the unicorn's stare. No doubt she was shocked, offended, or worse.

For a moment, silence elapsed the room, Twilight evidently taking the revelation in whilst I berated myself for being so sloppy. Way to go Stardust, now she knows! And now this naive unicorn will take it the wrong way! I hope you're proud of yourself! This is one reason as to why I don't make friends.

Stardust Balance. Bringing balance by making friends, then ruining them.

Oh for God's sake Twilight, say something!

"...I see." The unicorn obliged after my mental outburst. To my slight relief, she didn't sound hurt. But I imagine her expression displayed as much. "Well, it explains quite a lot; one being why Princess Celestia asked you to stay with me and Spike in Ponyville. It wasn't to learn about friendship at all, it was so you can find your way home."

Wow, when you put it like that, is makes me sound extremely selfish. Which, to be fair, was probably the case. Why was Twilight still in the room, though? Wouldn't she have left by now, upset by the fact someone she thought she could trust was apparently using her and our friends?

"But what I don't understand," The unicorn continued, inciting me to slowly look sat her. Her expression was surprisingly neutral. "If that's the case, then why were you so reluctant, Stardust, to befriend us? You could've accomplished your task quicker had you been eager to accept us as your friends, especially after we offered to help you. What was holding you back?"

I frowned at the earnest question. Huh, thinking about it, what had prevented me from being so reluctant? "I don't know..." I admitted quietly, staring at the mattress in thought.

"I think I do." Followed by the sound of a scraping chair, as Twilight evidently got up, and a warm hoof was place don my own shoulder. Knowing what the mare was silently asking of me, I hesitantly met her gaze. No sadness or pain, betrayal or distrust, but calmness and softness, serenity and warmness. "I admit I'm a little disappointed. But I'm not mad at you, Stardust."

"You should be." I protested weakly.

"You didn't want to befriend us out of some selfish goal to yours. You wanted to earn our friendship, in your own time, not because of the incentive to return to your world, but because you care." I stiffened at the implications, wishing this damn unicorn would cease being so... so... observant. A light smile, "Maybe you're right; maybe I am too kind for my own good. Maybe I don't want to imagine that this stallion who's entered my life, been there for me, provided comfort when I needed it, saved my life multiple times along with Spike and our friends, was simply using us all for his own gains. Maybe I have too much faith in him, believing him to be more than he himself believes. Am I wrong?"

Oh how there was the very urge to retort with 'Very'. She was wrong. She was wrong on all accounts. They all deserved a far more better, more trusting and kind and braver friend than I. Of all bronies or pegasisters to fall into this world, it was I.

"...I didn't want you all to think I was manipulating you." I began slowly. Twilight nodded, sparkly warm eyes requesting I continue. "At first, yes I was hesitant. Because, even if I didn't say it to myself, you all mean much more to me than obstacles to overcome. I want to go home, more than anything, but doing so by tricking you all, deceiving those who trust and regard me so highly... well..." A tired sigh escaped my yellow muzzle, rubbing my own stressful forehead. "I couldn't do it, not by those terms."

There, I said it all. You happy world? You happy Specter?

"I believe you." Wait what? Twilight smiled faintly at my blinking shock. "A long time ago, I wouldn't have. But now? You've proved yourself time and time again that you care for us, for me, despite your goal. One time, you trusted me when I confirmed that my befriending you wasn't solely because the Princess requested me to. So I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here. We'll help you return home Stardust, I promise you."

So much faith. So much trust... I didn't deserve any of it. "Twilight, I-"

"I think we'll skip tomorrow's session." The unicorn interrupted, removing her hoof off me - the comforting warmth leaving with her - as she turned and headed to the door. "I heard the harvesting of the rare zap apples will occur the following morning, anyway. I'm off to bed, if there's nothing else-"

"There is." I quickly spout out before I could stop myself, prompting Twilight to regard me with a curious expression. "Thank you, Twilight. Though I don't deserve your friendship, I value it just as much as the others."

There was so much more I wanted to do to express my gratitude, my relief, my... happiness, at Twilight's acceptance. But right now, words seemed to be the only viable option.

"I'm glad." The unicorn nodded, obviously happy to hear my words.

"I mean it, Twilight." I found myself persisting, restraining the urge to leap off my bed and embrace the unicorn for simply being herself. "You're an absolutely amazing pony. Out of every pony on this world, you're my favourite. I'm the luckiest human alive to have you as my friend."

Ah [BEEP], I'm being sentimental again. I'll look around tomorrow morning for any pills against that.

Looking down on the floorboards, Twilight was clearly embarrassed and flattered to hear such a confession. "You shouldn't pick favourites out of your friends, Stardust..."

"Yeah well, nobody's perfect. Most of all me."

"Nopony."

I smirked at the cheeky tone and expression. "Go to bed you damn mare."

Twilight chuckled, and for some reason the sound of her light laughter carried a sensation of... pleasantness within me. "I'll see you in the morning, Stardust-"

"Jack." The unicorn blinked at the unexpected name. I clarified, hoping to God I wasn't going to regret this. "You can... call me Jack, if you like.. not in public though." I added quickly. "Only when it's just me, you, Spike or Nightshade." I inclined my head to the owl, who hadn't made a sound the entire time.

Sometimes I wonder exactly what that bird was thinking...

Twilight faintly smiled. "A sign of our friendship?"

"A sign of our trust." The following expression on the mare's positive features was enough to make me feel uncomfortable, prompting me to make a shooing gesture. "Now go to bed, for God's sake."

Twilight nodded, "And yes, you do deserve our friendship, every living thing isn't beyond that. Goodnight Star-... Jack." As though testing the word with her tongue, the unicorn beamed before closing the door, the only occupants in the room left being Nightshade and I.

"Goodnight, my dear Twilight..." I muttered, forcing down that bizarre sensation in my stomach upon Twilight addressing me by my true name. Huh, that rhymes. Leaning back, I then noticed the owl was still in the room nearby, atop that perch that was installed in my room a while back for him. Small black eyes regarded me, and I raised a brow, swearing that beak of his was... smirking. "The [BEEP] are you looking at?"

"Hoo."

---

What's better than an apple pie? A zap apple pie.

Seriously, these things are [BEEP] delicious! At first I was hesitant to even try the things, hearing how exactly they were made, but in the end I succumbed to Twilight and Spike's shared insistence I try one. Now? I sure as hell don't regret it.

I ended up buying more than Twilight would've preferred.

"Hey, I could very well inexplicably return to my home world anytime." I defended my actions against an exasperated Twilight, after taking another bite of the angelic-tasting pie. "We don't have zap apples there. I'm enjoying it while I can."

"He's got a point." Spike added helpfully, eating his own share of zap apples. See my dear? He knows what's up.

Like the inside of the quarter-eaten pie, the zap apple itself was a literal rainbow of colours, all striped together. Even the inside of the apples are striped rainbows, and just the way it looked was my other motivation behind hesitation. Hours of waiting in that line with these two to get some were worth it.

"That's not what exasperates me." The purple unicorn shook her head, inclining with her head to the door. "What exasperates me, Stardust, is you laughing at poor Diamond Tiara's expense like that."

Memories of previous events today incited me to chuckle, albeit harshly. The image came to mind of that pink-ish filly forced to wear bunny ears and join good ol' Granny Smith in hopping around some watering cans while reciting the entire alphabet for some reason. As if these delicious zap apples weren't already the highlight of my day.

Also discovered today that bully's father was named Filthy Rich... Certainly explains a lot. Hasbro, are you even trying?

"Oh Twilight, how could I not laugh at a bully's misfortune?" I replied in amusement, taking another bite of the pie. One pie being consumed, three more to go afterwards.

The studious mare scoffed, "She's hardly a bully. I admit occasionally she acts a little spoiled, but she's only a filly. She doesn't know any better."

I shrugged indifferently. "Bullies are bullies." Doesn't matter if they're kids, teenagers or adults, I don't tolerate the awful exercise. "Anyone who enjoys berating or physically abusing others because it makes them feel superior deserves to be mocked and scorned at."

"That doesn't it make it right."

I raised a brow at that. Ethics, Twilight? "You speak as if I believe in morality."

Spike perked his head up at that. "You don't believe in morality?" The stuffed dragon asked, mouth filled with so much food as he spoke I refrained from expressing disapproval.

Now this was a conversation I don't believe I've had with either until now.

"Simply my perspective, don't take it to heart you two." I began to both pony and dragon, clearing my throat, "But in order to achieve balance, one must first cast aside the concept of morality and believe that everything happens in this universe for a reason; it is our job to accept all pleasant and awful things that occur in life and move on."

"How do you cast aside morality?"

I smiled at Spike's sincere question. "By accepting that there is no good or evil, no right or wrong, no black or white. Morality is a matter of perspective. What'd you find justified, others would find repulsive. What you'd find 'evil', others would find 'good'."

"I'm sorry Stardust, but I'm afraid I have to disagree." Of course you do, Twilight. But I held my tongue as the mare continued, "While everything is a matter of opinion, that doesn't mean we can just turn a blind eye or simply disagree to the horrible actions of others. Take Nightmare Moon for example; she was going to cloak the world in eternal night if we didn't do something about it."

"Fair enough. But I'm not saying we should just turn a 'blind eye' to the terrible actions of others." I reassured her. "I'm only saying is that, to find balance in the universe and in one's self, one must accept that the world is filled with times of harmony and chaos, and while we would agree or disagree with either, sometimes there's nothing we can do about it. Everything happens for a reason."

"But that doesn't make their actions excusable."

"No, it doesn't." I nodded in agreement, relieved at least that Twilight wasn't going to start a heated debate with me, yet, over this. "I don't condone the actions of Nightmare Moon, Discord or the past villains on my own world. My point is that morality is an idea, conjured up by others to justify their actions in punishing someone, or worse."

"Couldn't the same be said about balance?" Spike pointed out in question, taking a moment to pat his filled belly. "Isn't that an idea as well? We've never seen any physical proof over balance, after all."

"Apart from my super strength?" I smirked.

Spike shrugged. "Well, yeah but that could be something else."

"...A sound point, Spike." This dragon has been on a roll these past few days. "I suppose it's like religion-" And this is coming from a Christian; no offence to all religions everywhere. "- It might be real, it might be fictional. The differences in them are the individuals who believe in them."

"Just as I believe in morality, you believe in balance. And we have to respect the opinions of others." Very mature Twilight. I nodded in approval as the mare lightly smiled. "Though it does explain why you attempted to reason with Discord, of all ponies."

I shrugged as Spike then asked thoughtfully, "Is that why you went to confront Nightmare Moon as well?"

Ah. Recalling those events, I glanced at the full dragon. "It wasn't my first intent; I originally planned to stall the mare until Twilight and the rest retrieved the Elements of Harmony. But after speaking with her... well I thought it was worth a shot to convince her to cease with her plans."

"You tried to reason with Nightmare Moon?" I nodded in confirmation to Twilight's inquiry, who sounded quite contemplative. "I wasn't aware of that."

"Evidently it didn't work." There was no hiding the bitter disappointment at the self-reminder. "A part of my philosophy would've been confirmed true if it did."

"Which part is that?"

"That whether you're on the side of light or dark is irrelevant; it is what you do with those powers that determines who you are." I said, filling my tone with conviction. "The light can be used to hurt others, just as the dark can save lives."

Sitting back down, saying my piece, I continued with the apple pie, allowing the words to sink in Twilight and Spike's minds. Imagine how much better the world would be without the bias of sides. Discord eventually reforms, so that's a prime example that chaos can be used to benefit others and not just one's self. People either fear the dark or sneer at the light, when they should embrace and love both.

I certainly appreciate them.

"Huh, you know what else your opinion on morality explains?" Spike began after a moment passed, and we looked at him, smirking a little, "Why you attacked Gilda like that."

It took every ounce of my being not to hurl this pie at the dragon's chuckling face, or Twilight's smug expression.

Comments

[Amethyst Blade]

People either fear the dark or sneer at the light, when they should embrace and love both.

I certainly appreciate them.

Implying something? Twilight time perhaps?

[Darkwing Dust]

6656980 Yes well, I apologize for the slight OOC from the Mane Six during that chapter. Back then I hadn't fully watched enough of the show to get a good grip of their characters. As for Stardust, he gets better overtime, trust me, during that chapter he's still pissed off about being practically abducted to Equestria, and forced to do as his kidnapper says before he can dream of going home. XD

[Texus]

Looking down on the floorboards, Twilight was clearly embarrassed and flattered to hear such a confession. "You shouldn't pick favourites out of your friends, Stardust..."

Well I think it is more or less normal that this happens.

I know they never appeared in this chapter, but I´m still wondering why Stardust is okay with Applejack, and Rainbow Dash, invading his personal space, just to get the knowledge they wanted. I´m maybe a bit resentful, but I don´t understand how somehow can just be okay with others thinking, they could force an answer out of a person against their own will.

I´m still talking about it, because I hope for a small apology from them. I guess that others could think of it as less bad than I do, but it still wasn´t okay, even if they thought he could be a bad guy.

[Deadinlight]

Nopony.

still the most racist creatures on the planet

[Hoppa_21]

Specter did mention there were other things balance can do, and that I'll find out eventually. When I said as much to Twilight, the mare immediately resorted to helping me find out. So far? Nothing, aside from the super strength.

Silly Stardust. Already forgot your fight with Rainbow Dash where you demonstrated 'Super Speed'?

[SWEETOLEBOB18]

7714038
+ the fight with Blueblood, it turned magic aside

[Dragon of Shadows]

Also discovered today that bully's father was named Filthy Rich... Certainly explains a lot. Hasbro, are you even trying?

No. Hasbro is not trying.

[Truthseeker]

So then, by his logic of, 'there is neither good nor evil' a rape victim would have to admit that their rapist was right to do it, because that's what the rapist wanted, so it was not evil... yeah right.

Wrong. Good and evil are NOT perspective. They never have been and never will be. They are absolute, but may be permissable or even justified depending on circumstances. Let's take the proverbial man who steals a loaf of bread to feed his family. The man performed an evil action, depending on what his situation is. It is NEVER anything but evil to perform evil actions, but sometimes they can be justified depending on circumstances. Those to claim that good and evil are perspective are cowards who are not willing to stand up for themselves or others.

This doesn't make any sense. Stardust is better than this. What is going on?

[Darkwing Dust]

8873786
Just because Stardust doesn't believe in absolute morality doesn't mean he condones atrocities. He is better than that; it's not cowardice to be more open-minded about the subject. But he does believe in fair punishment when it's due. You should see his future opinions of Timber Spruce and Gloriosa Daisy when we reach that point.

[KovKILLer97]

"What did he do?" Twilight was evidently hesitant upon asking.
"...I don't think you're ready to know, not yet anyway."

...I responded, focusing my gaze to the heated OVEN.

Hehe... I'm a bad person for finding this funny. RIP Hitler, we probably deserved him