• Published 13th Jan 2015
  • 5,209 Views, 52 Comments

Bugged Bunny - sunnypack



Angel receives a letter from his cousin. Turns out his cousin is Bugs Bunny.

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1 - Eh, What's Up, Doc?

Chapter 1: Eh, What’s Up, Doc?

It was silent in Fluttershy’s cottage, save for the soft sounds of a napping bunny, a few ferrets, a family of squirrels, a perched bluejay and a mischief of mice. Perhaps it was not the most silent of places, but to Angel it was currently the most comfortable. Angel loved to roll around in his sleep, luxuriating in the spacious basket lined with soft satin and silk. It was his own little piece of heaven, and it all belonged to him. He slept soundly, the only sounds he made were soft puffs of breath from his diminutive lungs. The situation would not be more ideal unless he had finally achieved his plans for world domination… but that was a story for another time.

Instead of achieving a state of nirvana few bunnies could ever dream of, Angel’s sensitive ears picked up the timid hoof steps of a certain pegasus that also shared the cottage. Preemptively, the bunny waved a dismissive paw towards Fluttershy as she came up beside his basket.

“Oh okay,” Fluttershy whispered quietly. “Sorry. I just had a letter for you.” He heard retreating hoof steps.

An ear flopped out. A letter? For him? Nopony he knew would send a letter to him. Not unless they were begging for mercy, and that was certainly something to get out of bed for. Hopping out of his basket, he held a paw out and beckoned imperiously, his chin pointed upwards to the ceiling.

Predictably, the pegasus had been waiting to hand him the letter. Crafty mare.

“Here you go,” she said sweetly, although Angel reflected that ‘sweetly’ was perhaps a redundant tag for Fluttershy’s speech. She passed him the letter with some difficulty. It was bigger than normal, with the writing easily the size of Angel’s paw. Suspicion grew in his lapine mind.

With some effort, he flipped over the envelope and peered at the writing on the top.

ǝǝɹɟɹǝʌƎ ǝɥʇ ɟo ǝƃpƎ
'ǝuɐ˥ ǝɹnʇɐN Ɩ
ʎuunq lǝƃu∀

Oh, that was just the address, it was upside down too. He hopped over to the other side. There, the return address label!

Bugs Bunny
If this doesn’t send,
Too bad, too bad, oh well!

Funny, the envelope was swimming around, oh the room was too. With a muted thump, Angel dimly registered that he hit the floor. The ceiling was looking very far away indeed.

“Angel!” he heard Fluttershy call out in shock. It sounded softer than usual. Did Fluttershy’s voice echo like that usually…?

–––––

Fluttershy had just finished tucking in the unconscious bunny when she heard the soft knock on her door.

“Coming!” she called out. She flittered to the door anxiously, waving the alicorn through.

“I’m glad you could come over, Twilight! I was getting worried. I couldn’t read what was in the letter so I thought you could help. Whatever was in that letter must have been terrifying, Angel just fainted and I didn’t know who else to turn to! Oh and uhm, sorry about dropping it off so suddenly, I was worried about Angel.”

Twilight smiled. “Anything for a friend. Although, I wonder why anypony would write Equestrian for the address and suddenly switch over to random scribbles and gobbledegook in the letter.” Twilight frowned. “I also didn’t know that your pet could read.”

“Oh Angel’s really good at organising things. He keeps the schedules and orders the food sometimes.” Fluttershy felt her mouth twitch into a proud grin.

Twilight opened her mouth and then slowly shut it, her lips pursing. “I’ll… take your word for it.” She shuffled forward. “I brought the letter with me, but there’s not much I can do with it, I’m afraid.”

“Oh dear, but you’re the only pony I can turn to for this... could you try?”

“I’m sorry Fluttershy, it doesn’t seem like I can help you with this, without some sort of key, or sample or something to compare it to, none of this would make sense, even with the help of magic. You could get the general tone of the letter though, if you wanted to. There’s a spell to detect the emotions of the writer.”

“R-Really? H-How?”

“I think it has something to do with the way ponies write when they’re happy or sad, the pressure of the quill would be different.” There was a pause. “I can’t cast it on myself so you’ll have to, uhm, volunteer Fluttershy.”

“O-Okay, if it’s for Angel…” Fluttershy felt an ominous chill creep down her spine. There’s no reason she should be nervous, right? Twilight was an accomplished spellcaster. But the way she bit her lip and screwed up her eyes did not inspire confidence in the pegasus.

Oh dear, were some of the last thoughts of Fluttershy as everything blacked out. I hope nothing goes wrong.

––––––

Twilight opened her eyes cautiously. Fluttershy stood there, blinking at her.

“Are you alright?” she asked, her eyes darting around to see if there were any ill-effects. Fluttershy smiled demurely.

“I feel fine,” she said quietly. She sounded a little distracted.

“Okay,” Twilight replied slowly. She levitated the letter from her satchel and held it in front of Fluttershy. “Just run your eyes over the words and you should feel the same sort of emotions as the writer.”

Fluttershy’s eyes drifted away from Twilight and she started ‘reading’ the letter. There was silence for a while. In fact, it was too quiet. From this angle, Twilight couldn’t see Fluttershy’s face.

“Uhh Fluttershy? Are you done?”

There was continued silence.

“Are you okay?” She shifted the letter.

Twilight was startled by a sudden giggle.

“He he,” Fluttershy snickered. “Tee-hee-hee!”

Twilight laid a hoof on Fluttershy’s shoulder.

“I don’t think—“

“Bwuahahaha!” Fluttershy burst into laughter. She was laughing so hard she was struggling to breath and tears overflowed from her eyes.

“Fluttershy!” Twilight exclaimed, holding the howling pegasus as she rolled on the floor.

In between gasps, Fluttershy tried to answer back.

“I—“ *snort* “—can’t—“ *giggle* “—stop laughing!” she cried.

Twilight’s eyes widened. She danced on her hooves.

“Oh what to do, what to do, how to cancel the spell?!”

A flash from Twilight’s horn stifled Fluttershy’s laughter, but she kept laughing in silence. The pegasus made silent ‘help me’ gestures as her face contorted with the painful shortness of breath.

The alicorn tried again, using several spells, some stopping her mirth temporarily, others just paralysing Fluttershy, with her eyes dancing with laughter. It kept going until Twilight decided to temporarily drain the magic. Fluttershy collapsed to the wooden floorboards gratefully.

“Oh,” she mumbled. “Funny.” Then she passed out.

Twilight regarded the pegasus with a mixture of trepidation and awe. What sort of creature was this that could contain so much humour?

––––––

As Twilight was pondering this, a fairly recognisable anthropomorphic rabbit was making his way across the dimensions. Traversing the Loony-verse required a lot of energy, so the rambunctious bunny was chewing on a juicy carrot. The distinct crunching sound reverberated around the spaceless dimensional corridor—somehow—and still annoyed the universe even though the sound couldn’t carry past the dimensional fabric of the associated universal nexus Bugs was travelling through.

The membrane of the universe became gelatinous as Bugs put a gloved hand on the surface. It rippled like a pebble thrown into a still pond. The universe shuddered and Newton rolled in his grave and jerked his knee. His right knee cap had this itch whenever Bugs was around, but fortunately the rabbit shook his head and moved on. Wrong universe. He picked up speed, hurtling through the haze of unreality.

After all, he wouldn’t want to be late to meet his cousin.

Author's Note:

ROBCakeran53 inspired me to write this. Still have zero idea what to write for my other fics.

Next Chapter: That's All Folks!

As always, my galactic readers, thanks for reading!

P.S. The last line I wrote reminded me of Alice in Wonderland for some reason. I drift between my fics like a lazy fairy. Expect this to be updated soon, though. I think. Maybe.

P.P.S. Fixed a couple of errors that were spotted and I missed, sorry everyone! I was working the whole time and I only had my mobile, the editing thing doesn't even fit in the screen.

P.P.P.S. You know me, things are about to get real.

P.P.P.P.S. Minor grammatical errors fixed and some stylistic fixes too.