• Member Since 7th Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen Dec 15th, 2015

Appl3dashie


Why are you reading this? Don't you have a story to read?

T

Ever since the Dazzling's defeat Sonata still has been going on and on about the fruit punch. Sonata then shows Aria how to make REAL fruit punch.

Do not follow instructions in this story. Please.

I dunno...I wanted to do this for a long time so I was like Why not? Technically there isn't that much gore... erm... A little I guess.

EDIT:
I do not care if you hate. I'm still a beginner. Also I am seriously not deleting comments. I think I got hacked as well so yeah don't blame me if your comment is deleted. :/

Okay. I get the idea it's boring. So I'm taking it down tomorrow. No more arguing please. Please just leave me in peace.
- Appl3dashie.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 22 )

I'm still processing...

Uh... is it the music talking or did all that really happen?

I just... I what... The.. Duh... Umm... I just can't even right now.

Ever since the Dazzling's defeat Sonata still has been going on and on about the fruit punch. Sonata then shows Aria how to make REAL fruit punch.

It's blood, isn't it?

Do not follow instructions in this story. Please.

I don't think anybody would follow your instructions whether they read your stories or not.

I dunno...I wanted to do this for a long time so I was like Why not? Technically there isn't that much gore... erm... A little I guess.

So there's nothing for the people who get off on that, and there's nothing for the people who don't. Great fucking plan.

"Sonata will you please shut up about the fruit punch?!" Aria Blaze snapped.

First line, and I'm already sick of their arguing. Great.

"And I spent two WHOLE hours searching for the missing apple. And then you show up and say that I'll fail anyway!" Sonata Dusk sat on top of a bin raging on about fruit punch.

What? Missing apple? Fail? Two hours? What? What the fuck just happened?

"Sonata! Your lucky Adagio is gone... Or she'll be mad!" Aria scolded.

First off, I think that's more Adagio's permanent state than an emotion. And second, why? Because Sonata's making punch?

"Blah blah blah. Your lucky Adagio is gone! She went up to the bleeding shop for crying out loud!" Sonata snapped back hopping of the trashcan.

And "your" apparently living in a world where bloodletting is a service you go to shops for. And wasn't Sonata previously on a bin?

"Your lucky we have a bit of money left for dinner." A smooth voice said at the end of the alley.

Alley? Where the hell are they? I thought they were in a house or some shit.

"Finally Adagio. It took you literally forever. And I had to put up with her." Aria pointed at Sonata who was waving her arms around like a maniac.

"I expect sympathy from you despite that not being one of your character traits at all. God, I'm so emo."

"We're all lucky that we've got each other. Clear?" she snapped.

No, you aren't, because you hate each other.

"Yes Adagio.." Aria replied ignoring the fact that there was only around 50$ in their budget.

More than I have in my wallet, anyway. Also, they live in an alley, yet apparently have a budget? What, does Adagio part-time at H&R Block?

"Hurry up and come to my place. It's getting dark." The trio walked out of the dump and into the street.

I THOUGHT THEY WERE IN AN ALLEY! ONE THAT THEY LIVED IN! WHY WERE THEY IN THE ALLEY?

Lots of rough and tough people passed them. Some even tried to hook up with Sonata but Aria wasn't having it. Eventually they arrived at a massive building. They stepped through the sliding doors into the lobby of the hotel.

"Yeah, Sonata almost got raped like twenty times, but nobody cares, because she's the worst."

"Ugh! I wish the Rainbooms never destroyed our necklaces. Look at this feast!" she stared longingly at the large crowd of people waiting.

Cannibalism fic? Also, thank you for stating the only part of the story that everyone knew already.

"Well its not my fault that you always sung over me." Sonata chimed in.

What the fuck does that have to do with anything whatsoever?

"Well at least I was much more talented then you!"
"Shut up idiots!" Adagio motioned them to come into the elevator. "Floor number 47." she tapped on the number and waited for the elevator to stop.

I'm with Adagio on this one. Shut the hell up. Also, apparently you need to say the name of the floor you want out loud before you can press the button. That's some shitty voice-rec.

"And then you were like Seriously?! And I was like I can crack a better joke then you!" Sonata yelled at Aria who wasn't paying attention.

Aria is the stand-in for most of the audience, at this point.

"Aria she's part of us. Deal with it." Adagio walked into the corridor and put her key in the first door. The door clicked open and with a small push she opened it.

No! Go back to telling her to shut her face! Anyway, what kind of hotel is fifty stories tall, has voice-activated elevators, and still uses keys?

"Adagio! Can I watch my fave program. It's 9:50 and that's when its on." Sonata squealed with excitement. "It's the finale to season four!"

It's the one where literally everyone becomes an alicorn princess!

"Hurry up. I'll move a table in front of the tv so we can eat and watch." Adagio mumbled back. She walked into the kitchen. Her boots clacking against the floor.

You're in a hotel room. How fucking big is it that you need to pull a table in front of it? Just sit on the damn beds. And what the hell kind of hotel has a kitchen in the penthouse rooms?

"Well? Are you gonna move the table?" Aria asked leaning against the doorway.

Christ, she just said she would a line ago! Give her a second!

"Later. Lemme warm up the noodles first." Adagio replied shoving three chicken noodle cups in the microwave.

>penthouse suite
>ramen cups
>...

"Why can't we leave her in the streets? Please Adagio..." Aria begged.

She hasn't even done or said anything for several paragraphs! What the hell is your problem?

"You know we can't leave her." Adagio stood still staring at the microwave. "She's o-"

-nly a pointless character who has done nothing yet. Pick up the fucking pace.

"GET DOWN HERE GUYS ITS TIME!" Sonata yelled from the couch. Aria raced in and hopped next to Sonata waiting for the noodles. Adagio walked in setting down three cups before them. Each one had steaming noodles with a plastic spoon in them.

Thank you for describing a ramen cup, since I'm sure there is absolutely nobody reading this who knows what one is.

"Whats this show called?" Aria asked picking up the noodles with her spoon.

Take a fucking guess.

"My little pony!" Sonata squealed.

Oh shit, I thought they were going to watch Parks and Rec!

"You seriously watch this kids stuff?" Adagio asked slurping up her noodles.

I would have thought you'd be more interested, since you have LITERALLY SEEN A FICTIONAL CHARACTER FROM IT BEAT YOUR ASSES. That has to raise at least a few fucking flags!

"Ya!! Its funny and exciting!" She waved her arms around.

It is neither of those. In any event, CUE THE FUCKING THEME SONG.

My little pony

I used to wonder what friendship could be!

My little pony!

Until you all shared that magic with me!

"Pfft as if!" Aria laughed.

...We know the song. You don't need to-

"What irony!" Adagio giggled. Sonata looked at them quite disgusted.

Big adventure!

Tons of fun!

A beautiful heart!

Faithful and strong!

Sharing kindness! Its an easy feat

and magic makes it more complete!

--to go through the whole thing. Also, you fucked up the theme to the show you are writing a fanfiction for. How did you even manage to accomplish that?

"This is... stupid!" Aria face palmed. "I mean... Who would watch this?!"

Fat, autistic men's rights advocates. AMIRITE?

"Hey... anyone got any drinks?" Sonata asked.

"Because we're going to need them."

"Sorry Sonata. The water got polluted with mold and I don't have any drinks. We'll have to make our own." Adagio shrugged.

First, how did you get mold in your tap water? Second, HOW THE HELL CAN YOU MAKE YOUR OWN IF THERE IS NO WATER? Is this a watersports clopfic now? Because if so, my dick isn't out yet.

"OMG I THEN CAN SHOW OFF MY FRUIT PUNCH SKILLS!" Sonata screamed.

How the hell are you going to make it? I mean, I know you're going to stick a straw into Aria's heart or something, but otherwise, how? The author can't seriously think this is subtle.

"Okay Sonata! Two things: One you don't have any skills and two no one likes a show off." Aria crossed her arms and rolled her eyes.

Neither are true. She's fantastic at being obnoxious, and everyone loves people *ahem* who spend half an hour dissecting a bad gorefic.

"Two things Aria: I have skills and two that cross your arms and roll your eyes is totally cliche." Sonata put her hands on her hips.

Oh my god, the author's doing it for me.

"That's cliche!" Aria pointed out.

Seriously, do you even need me here? Is this fic just that self-aware?

"Nuh uh!" she clicked her fingers angrily.

How do you "click your fingers angrily"? Inquiring minds want to know. Is it like that sassy black woman thing? Because Sonata Dusk is neither sassy nor black.

"Well at least that isn't." Aria got up from the couch and went to the bathroom.

No, it totally is, you just haven't seen a Madea movie yet. Which is a good thing.

"Well you two can do whatever I'm gonna sit and watch a marathon of Pokemon: Season 3 episodes on my phone." Adagio whipped out her yellow phone typed in the password and began watching.

Said every thirteen-year-old dumb enough to start reading this.

"FRUIT PUNCH!" Sonata ran into the kitchen and started snatching fruit.

OH MY MOTHERFUCKING GOD, MOTHERFUCKING FRUIT MOTHERFUCKING PUNCH!

"What the hell is happening now?" Aria walked into the kitchen staring at the girl who was setting up a blender.

Aaaand we're back to the self-aware-fic thing.

"I'm making the punch!" Sonata smiled. "Hey! I gotta idea! Why don't I teach you how to make punch?" She smiled warmly at her. Aria sighed and rolled her eyes slouching.

Because you're a fucking idiot who would make Blues Brothers 2000 say, "That's some shitty slapstick."

"Well hurry up then." Aria for once smiled that wasn't fake.

Why are you okay with this?

"Okay then! Can you pass me an apple." Sonata held out her hand waiting.

"I'll eat it, and then look like an asshole." Ding!

"Apple... apple..." Aria saw an apple on top of a shelf but that was high up.

This was a problem, because she was too stupid to get something to stand on.

"Need help?" Sonata asked.
"Heck yeah!" Aria pointed up.

I. AM. SO. BORED. KILL SOMETHING.

"Why don't we..." Sonata stood on a chair then without warning dived onto the shelf. Amazingly it didn't break!

Really?

Just kidding! It snapped as soon as it felt the weight of Sonata. "Crap! That hurt..." Sonata rubbed her hand.

You fucking liar.

"Ick! Do you think you could still make punch?" Aria said looking at her wrist.

"Nah, it's just a major compound fracture with bone fragments sticking out everywhere. No biggie."

"Uh... yeah yeah... Oh look!" Sonata pointed at the breezie nibbling on Aria's hair.

WHAT? WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT COME FROM?

"HEY GET OFF!" Aria grabbed the breezie and looked at her reflection in her wings. It looked like it was trimmed.

What? Reflection? Wings? Trimmed? What? What the hell did I just read?

But Aria obviously hated it. "GRR!" she slammed it in the blender.

Well, obviously. At least now we can answer the age-old question: "WILL THIS LIVING, SENTIENT BEING BLEND?"

"WAIT NO!" Sonata stumbled to her but it was to later. The blades moved around in the blender slicing the breezie in half. "Why..." she stared at the blender.

"RAAAAGH! DIE, YOU LITTLE FUCKER!" "What the FUCK is wrong with you, Aria?" "THIS SATISFIES MY SEXUAL URGES!"

Then she suddenly felt anger. Waves of it burst through her. Until she couldn't hold it back any longer. "THAT ISN'T HOW YOU MAKE PUNCH!" she howled. "I'll show you! I can make worse punch then that!" She slapped Aria before opening the pantry.

"I'm not mad because you killed a living, thinking creature! I'm mad because you fucked up the punch!"

"Sonata don't take it personally." Aria stared at the legs covered in blood with a miniature liver hanging from the front one

"Seriously, Sonata, I came SO hard from that. Like, my knees barely even work anymore."

"Hmph!" she replied. "I'll show you!" She stuffed biscuit packets and gummy bears in it. She threw chocolate cupcakes and anti-bacterial gel in the blender.

That's not punch, that's prison wine.

"E-eww..." Aria gagged. She seriously isn't gonna drink that? Sonata stormed out of the room and came back with... underwear and bras? She stuffed that in to! She stormed out again and came back with...

Seriously, dude, what the fuck?

"GIMME BACK MY PHONE!" Adagio yelled. "PIKACHU NEEDS ME!" Sonata threw it in and giving Aria the evil eye she pushed blend. "NOOOOO!" Adagio pushed Sonata away and opened the blender. "My baby..." she looked at the shredded metal.

Since when did they make metal phones? And, possibly more significantly, WHY DID YOU BLEND PRUNO, AN ENTIRE WOMEN'S INTIMATES SECTION, AND A CELLPHONE? WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS EATING YOUR BRAIN TISSUE FOR YOU TO THINK OF THAT?

"My baby..." she looked at the shredded metal. "My future daughter..."

WHAT THE FUCK! SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK?

"Real emotional Adagio... Real emotional." Aria grinned fist bumping Sonata.

... I need a drink.

"You monsters..." Adagio scowled.

What the hell did I just read?

Epilogue

Wait, shit, what the hell is this?

"Well Sonata... that was worth it." Aria said laying down on the trash can. "I really did learn a lot." she looked over at the skeleton. "Even though it got you killed."

WHAT?

Aria pulled a face before walking down the alley. "Punch is dangerous." she yelled out.

I think punch is a euphemism for "crystal meth", and I think the author was on it! So you're fucking straight-up it's dangerous!

She turned to the hotel where Adagio used to live. Police were pulled up investigating the murders in the lobby. "Well at least I've got a room."

Didn't you just kill them, or something? Isn't it a crime scene?

The door closed. Everything was dark. Nibble... nibble... went something on Aria's hair.

OH SHIT, IT'S M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN!

"Heya Chuck?" one policeman said.

"Yeah?" Chuck replied.

"I heard screaming in the elevator."

"It's probably Derpy."

It's probably a shitty fucking fanfic, is what it fucking is. Seriously,
troll.me/images/bert/whatthefuck-did-i-just-read.jpg

Comment posted by I NO LONGER EXIST deleted Jan 5th, 2015
Comment posted by I NO LONGER EXIST deleted Jan 5th, 2015

Your lucky Adagio is gone...

Oh noes, whatever shall I do without my lucky Adagio? D:

5465914

Wow, someone's got a sarcasm addiction. Still, that comment is way better than this whole entire fic. :rainbowlaugh:

Comment posted by Infinite Evil deleted Jan 5th, 2015

5466341
It's my meth.

Also, author guy: if you deleted all those comments, seriously not cool.
That's just downright petty of you.

5466401

Really is petty of him isn't it, Chicken?

It doesn't change the fact that your story sucks, man.

Aw man, my comment got deleted.

You know what? I'm not going to take this shit sitting down. No, what I'm going to do is take this as an opportunity to write a better comment and say more about your fic than simply "it's awful."

This fic incredibly disappointed me. See, one of my favorite things to read around here are the silly, dumb fics because I can get a quick laugh out of them and they're short so I can consume one fairly quickly and move on. I thought this fic could be something I could get a quick laugh out of or at the very least, enjoy.

The problem this fic suffers is that it gets drowned out by a combination of weirdness and plain stupidity. Normally this wouldn't be a problem as these types of fics enjoy much lower standards compared to regular, more serious fiction. Every new one 5465914 rips into this fic pretty much covers the problems on a more specific basis but the bottom line is this: this fic is just plain stupid and as hard as I try, I simply couldn't enjoy it.

That and as 5466495 said in his deleted comment, this fic is just boring. I'm fairly certain I skimmed half of it because the stupidity in this fic just got boring.

This fic disappointed me incredibly and I try hard to enjoy it, but I'm sorry. I just simply couldn't enjoy it.

5467709
Yeah, I originally thought, "Hey, this is going to be really spectacularly bad," but it's not. It's just not good. It's a really boring read, the twist is fucking ridiculous (but not even in an amusing way), and the end is retarded.

It's just not good.

HA!! He says he got hacked, and that's how his comments got deleted! Okay, man...I'll believe you this time...but I'll be watching you...

SOME ppl always hate, STOPE HATING. Come on!:trixieshiftleft:

5510927 I agree with you... HATERS:twilightangry2:

5510927
5567903

Thanks guys for being supportive. :pinkiehappy: Your the best! :twilightsmile:

5465768 Why are you being so mean. Reasons? :trixieshiftright:

Dude it's a bloody story!:facehoof:

I just find it funny how all these adults are coming at a 5th grader in such a passive manner. At the time this story was written, my friend and I (Apple3Dashie) were both only 10 and heavily into MLP, so just take a step back and think about how you’re basically attacking a fucking kid. She put effort and time into this story, enough effort to have wanted to share it but in the end to have only get backlash and hate. Just let that sink in.

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