• Member Since 5th Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen Dec 17th, 2014

Speedy McSpeed

I like ponies.


Eighteen ponies will compete on a remote island for a half a million bits. Each week one pony will be voted out, until there is only one survivor.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 6 )

Awesome! I love Survivor! New season is out if you don't know! :pinkiehappy:

This story definitely has potential to be interesting.

Aside from getting an editor to look it over, I'd suggest adding a little more substance to this first chapter. Try to go more in depth with the dynamics between each pony and how they feel about having to work together, as well as fleshing out each phase of every three day cycle. The same applies with any and all succeeding chapters.

Don't be discouraged. :twilightsmile:

I think that Blueblood was out of character. He's a spoiled rich pony that probably would team up with everyone to secure his position. Also I think that flash and Fluttershy would be with shining because chain of command, and knowing him personally. respectively. But that's my opinion.

Comment posted by The Delirium deleted Oct 12th, 2014

You bring up some very good points here. In the show, there is a decent amount revealed about the personalities of both Blueblood and Flash Sentry. However, their personalities have only been partially developed compared to other characters. Also, I wrote this while disregarding the relationships between the royal guards. Likewise, in this story, none of the competitors have met before. I did this to mix up some of the obvious alliances.

Pretty good chapter. But if I have to make a complaint, it would have to be that you should make TC's longer to get more depth and drama. Overall, nice read.

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