Discord sat on his personal fainting couch, alone with his thoughts and the various abominations that called his home “skreeeeeeee!” But Discord had no time to listen to such dulcet tones, for he was deep in thought over a very unpleasant realization.
He couldn’t plan.
Well, it wasn’t that he couldn’t plan. He could do just about anything, and lining up a sequence of intended future events was simple enough that even ponies could do it. But the debacle with trying to make Fluttershy jealous had highlighted how when Discord tried it, it inevitably went awry.
He knew why. Planning was antithetical to his core concepts. He could frivolously use his powers all he liked, but anything with an eye towards the future would lead to a most unpleasant backlash. Sure, if the plan furthered the cause of Chaos and Disharmony, then he could delay the comeuppance for a while. He’d managed centuries of unrule before Luna and Celestia harmonized him. But as Celestia could attest, the problem with immortality was that no matter how much he put off his problems, they eventually came back to bite him.
And had Discord ever been bitten. Try to rule Equestria? Petrified. Try to drive a wedge between the Bearers of Harmony? Pacified. (Which, admittedly, wasn’t that bad, but it certainly hadn’t been what he was going for.) Try to capture Tirek? Recruited. Try to play it out in the hopes that the backlash would sweep up the centaur as well? Disempowered. In fact, that was probably why Discord had been able to give Twilight the Key of Magic without any repercussions; he didn’t have anything left to cause them.
Really, the only time it worked out in his favor was when he’d been able to steer Twilight back to her friends when the plunder vines had sprouted. (Which, he couldn't help but note, they had only done when he no longer wanted them to!) Even then, according to Fluttershy, Twilight had nearly been gassed into a helpless state, just waiting for something carnivorous to pass by and have a meal fit for a princess.
Well, Discord didn’t care much for patterns, but he could certainly see one when it was in front of his face. There was only one logical course of action, and contrary to popular expectation, he was going to take this.
He stood, cleared his throat, and proclaimed, “From this day forth, I will never plan again!”
“Which is when the pocket dimension collapsed.” Discord gave a sheepish grin.
Twilight blinked blearily. She wasn’t sure whether it was late or early, but the moon was up and she was in no mood for draconequi on the front step of her big castle thingy. “And?”
“I was hoping you could give me a place to crash, as it were. You’ve certainly extended the same offer to Rainbow Dash in the past.” Discord shifted to a familiar purple and green color scheme.
Whatever parts of Twilight that were functioning without caffeine muttered, “Can’t you just ask Fluttershy?”
“Well, you have more room and she has Angel Bunny.” Discord put his hands on where his hips would be, were he not presently a seven-foot-tall carrot. “I think it’s clear which option will work out better for all of us.”
“Will it be for long?”
“Not at all.” Discord produced a pair of crochet hooks and started working on the yarn of space and time, which resembled Luna's mane. “I should be able to make a new one in about a week. Maybe. As long as I don't think about it too hard, which seems to be the answer to the whole dilemma. I think.”
Twilight sighed. “Fine. I do have more guest bedrooms in this place than I know what to do with. Can you keep the chaos to a minimum in the meantime?”
Discord shook his head without malice. “I wouldn’t plan on it.”
Ouch. Poor Discord.
Idiot! Never making a plan again IS a plan!
Poor guy :-P
I'm convinced that Discord, for all of his apparent nigh-omnipotence, is incredibly constrained by his nature. This just reinforces my belief!
6457216 The culinary part of liquorice is the root, which combined with "punched in the face by a plant" to immediately call this to mind. That those roots have great clods of dirt attached is appropriate, since if you jumped straight to salmiakki, most of the punching was probably mineralogical rather than botanical.
It's actually kind of interesting how many different (and botanically unrelated) herbs/spices have extremely similar flavours, and how ready people are to protest that they aren't the same thing at all. Some people will refuse to substitute star anise for anise or vice versa, despite the fact that detecting the flavour difference would take special training or unusual sensitivity. Botanically, however, anise and star anise are about as unrelated as two flowering plants can be.
You might actually enjoy liquorice root tea. One interesting property of liquorice that other similar-tasting things lack is that liquorice root tastes sweet without having any sugar added, hence the Greek (and ultimate derivation for the English) name γλυκύρριζα (glucorrhyza, sweet-root). Also, if you brew it as tea, you have more control over how strong it gets, and it can't ever get as strong as liquorice candy.
Is the joke here that discord can't tell Spike and Rainbow Dash apart?
6458006 in ter esting!
6741665
It's meant to be a callback to Twilight trying to use Spike as a substitute Bearer of Loyalty in "Return of Harmony, Part 2." The new Rainbow Dash is just as applicable as the old.
Also, you know, a place to crash. How many times did Dash hit the library, exactly?
I think the whole story was build up to this sentence or a possible joke.
When I imagine Discord as a being of Chaos, instead of a being of Disharmony, I have him prefer formless strategy. The two quotes for him would be "Do I look to you like the kind of guy with a plan?" and "Chaos is a ladder."
6354485
Oh ABSOLUTELY. Among other things, it's why he can't do things like turn Tempest and her airships in goat cheese. If he tried he'd either cause staggering horrible consequences or literally disappear.
6287020
And the paradox caused the universe to explode. >_>
At least he can make a new one, and I l9ve that he knots it!