• Published 12th Sep 2014
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Peace at Last Shorts: Taking Time Off - Prince_Staghorn



Two old friends ditch their royal duties for one night.

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AGAB

"I am so BORED..."

Chrysalis let out an exasperated sigh, somewhat glad that no one had actually heard her, as at the minute she sounded less like Chrysalis Roachanov, Queen of the changelings and Empress of Neighpon, and more like Chrysalis Roachanov the normal mare.

She had put her seal on the official Neighpon-Equestrian Trading Contract two days ago. Stag, Double, their kids, Twilight, Spike, and that guard Luna insisted on sending would be back here tomorrow. She had finished all her paperwork given to her by the two alicorn princesses. She had given her royal court today, though besides some disputes with a local farmer, nothing happened. She had arranged Ambrosia and Miasma's alliance with the promise of Stag providing a flesh-and-blood contract to each of them.

She was out of things to do... except talking to a friend of hers. Chrysalis briefly pondered.

She's nice enough to have forgiven me. I mean sure, I threw her in the caves, took her appearance, tried to marry her husband, and attempted a hostile takeover, but I wasn't in my right mind. Besides, it was a one-time fluke after two hundred-odd years of being friends, and she's too kind to hold a grudge. And she was nice to me those times before the Nightmare Nyx incident when we got together.

Chrysalis could only find one problem with her entire plan as she wrote the letter, tied it to the leg of a message raptor, and sent it flying towards Canterlot..

It's her husband I need to worry about...

Feeling an odd sensation in her gut, Chrysalis made herself presentable, then exited her room.

***

Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, or just Cadance to her friends and family, was bored.

Sure, Canterlot was great, and Shining was nice, but life in the castle had gotten a bit stale. A brief reprieve had come the day after the wedding when her father, Castellan, had come to congratulate her on the 'nice catch" she had made, before pelting his new son-in-law with water balloons, and other distractions had come in the form of her and Chrysalis pranking Shining last winter.

I'm glad she's back to normal. "Crazy" Chrysalis wasn't much fun, she thought as she moved a brush through her mane.

Cadance had found plenty of time to think about the changeling and what exactly had gone wrong, and rumors had confirmed it.^ She didn't blame Chryssie at all, but it was still a little hard not to be a tiny bit mad about the whole ordeal. Of course, a few months ago Shining had been controlled by Nyx and Cadance was on the run from the law, but Nyx was easier to forgive because she was a filly.

A feathered form landed at the bathroom window. Cadance looked at it.

The message raptor was a small, emerald creature, covered in feathers. Its wings sprouted three claws each, its long tail ended in a small fan of feathers, and its lizard-like head cocked to the side in a distinctly bird-like fashion. Attached to its leg was a small scroll. Cadance quickly read it.

Dear Cad,
Finally got finished with the stupid paperwork and stuff. Bored now. Want to hang out tonight? If you do, meet me under the bridge in Canterlot's park. I've got an idea. Remember "BYOSP?"
-Chryssie

Cadance was grinning ear to ear when she read that last part. She wrote down her reply before sending it back. Three words.

I'll be there.

***

It was easy for Cadance to hide. it was all a matter of clothing, though the hoodie did feel a little constricting due to not having any wing holes. She looked around. Right place, right time, but where...

"I was wondering when you'd show up."

Cadance whirled around. There was Chrysalis... wearing a yellow shirt, backwards cap, and an earring. The alicorn mare smiled. "Really?"

Chrysalis frowned a little. "What? If we're doing this, I might as well dress up like it. Did you bring yours?"

Cadance levitated the orange canister. "BYOSP, remember? 'Bring your own spray paint.'"

Chrysalis levitated her own can of the orange liquid. "We'll start here... but what to put..."

Cadance's eyes twinkled mischievously, and she got to work before standing back to admire it.

AGAB

Chrysalis cocked her head. "Agab?"

Cadance giggled a little. "All guards are bastards."

Chrysalis' mouth hung open for a few seconds. Then she brought a hoof to her mouth as she tried not to laugh out loud.

***

Shining Armor did NOT enjoy doing this sort of thing. For one, it was night, so by all accounts, the Night Guard should have been handling it. Then again, Cadance wasn't in the castle, so Shining had nothing to do. Tracking down unknown graffiti artists was a nice change of pace.

I still need to remember to see if I can get demoted. I always preferred field assignments.^^

He heard the hissing of spray paint, then he saw them. "Halt in the name of justice!" Holy crap that sounded cheesy.

The two ran, and Shining gave chase, rounding a corner into a dead-end alleyway... they were gone. No magic residue, so no teleportation or invisibility. Nothing but a hoodie, a cap, a yellow shirt, and a bright orange "AGAB" painted onto the wall, staring at him and silently mocking him.

***

Chrysalis and Cadance landed on the top of a building, laughing.

"That was too close, Chryssie," Cadance gasped between breaths.

"But it was fun!" Chrysalis countered.

Cadance smiled. It really had been.

From their position, they looked over the city. AGAB was written in bright orange on what would together make a quarter of the city, along with the occasional dark blue "Blame my Sister".^^^

Cadance spoke. "Well, we better be getting home. Otherwise we'll look suspicious."

Chrysalis nodded in agreement, and the two flew their separate ways.

***

Chrysalis landed on her balcony. She had retrieved the clothing after Shining had left, and set it in a chest in her closet. Drawing the blinds, she looked around, before talking to herself.

"Well, I know she's forgiving, and she doesn't hold a grudge..."

She enveloped herself in magic, letting the illusion fall away. She looked in the mirror at her distended stomach. The 10-month foal growing inside her kicked a little.

"...But how can I tell her what I did while she was in those caves?"

Author's Note:

^In essence, Chrysalis had actually been invited to the wedding, but during what she called a "pre-bachelorette party", Chryssie had taken a little too much of the pure love ambient in all of Canterlot and contracted Love Sickness, which made her briefly crazy.

^^The simple fact was that Shining NEVER WANTED to be Captain of the Unicorn Guard. He wasn't qualified for it, for one, as the only spell he actually knew was a barrier spell. He got the position because a certain white alicorn had bent the rules slightly to put his family in an even higher position than they already had previously due to a certain purple unicorn filly being intensely magical enough to be aforementioned white alicorn's protégé.

^^^Luna gets bored too.

Comments ( 30 )

:rainbowlaugh: I can't breathe

4991473 Those two make quite a pair, don't they?

4991477 Indeed. Just give them some spray paint.

4991484 Not just spray paint. they can get a little more creative. Pranking duos are like this

Pinkie Pie and Dash are at the bottom. Cadance and Chrysalis are above them. at the top are Celestia and Castellan.

4991499 O.o Celestia and Castellan outrank Cadence and Chrysalis, eh? That would be fun to see:rainbowkiss:

4991522 an interesting thing: All my stories except a Goblin in a Human Town are all interconnected to each other.

4991523 Hmmm...*looks to the right*

4991533 yep. all those except the one with Human Pinkie

PFFT I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!

4992031 I don't. I was just using it because there were two Nightmare Moon Incidents, and Past Sins is canon to this 'verse, and all that junk and
fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2014/043/7/7/baby_quasimodo_quartz_by_starryoak-d766t1n.png

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

5011055 okay, you're the fourth to have this reaction. should I just add a comedy tag?

5011508 now, why do you think this story's funny?

5011512 Just is! Namely stuff like this

"I am so BORED..."
Chrysalis let out an exasperated sigh, somewhat glad that no one had actually heard her, as at the minute she sounded less like Chrysalis Roachanov, Queen of the changelings and Empress of Neighpon, and more like Chrysalis Roachanov the normal mare.

Dear Cad,
Finally got finished with the stupid paperwork and stuff. Bored now. Want to hang out tonight? If you do, meet me under the bridge in Canterlot's park. I've got an idea. Remember "BYOSP?"
-Chryssie

As an example

5011530 Royalty can't be prim and proper all the time!

5011536 No.......

I suppose not. :trollestia:

5011549 Do I even need to tell you Fluffle Puff does exist in my universe?

5011552 Fluffle exists in everyone's, in some form at least :rainbowwild:

5011555 In this case, she's Mom's best friend.

Comment posted by Captain Lunar deleted Sep 16th, 2014

5011559 On an unrelated note, I have a project I've been working in for The Known World..... Want a sneak peak? I'll PM it to you if you do.

5011573 Yes. I just added Bushwoolies, sapient dragon relatives, and lesser demons, so i'm in the right mood for it:twilightsmile:

Snrk, poor Shining.

Oh, so she did bump the uglies with him.

So... Chryssie basically got drunk and made an ass of herself at the wedding?

Cya
Raziel-chan

6712467 Yes. It's further explained in the original story

First, Shining gets controlled by Chrysalis and then Nyx? He just can't stop getting the short end of the stick, can he? I hate possession/mind control. It's so humiliating. Being reduced to a body, someone's puppet. Not being able to fight back or probably even think. It's the ultimate way of showing how much weaker you are than the person controlling you. It makes you inferior and weak and worthless. It's mind/soul rape. Just once makes Shining Armor look bad and emasculates him, but in this universe, it happened to him twice? And the 2nd time was by a child? Jesus Christ, Shining. I feel like the only way to redeem yourself is to fight back and free yourself, but with Chrysalis, he wasn't able to even visibly resist at all, and he had to have someone save him. What happened with Nyx? Did Shining Armor free himself, or did someone else? And of course, you added the author's note at the end of him not even being qualified to do his job and not deserving it and only knowing 1 spell.

And then it turns out that Chrysalis raped him while he was controlled, making him cheat, and had a child with him? Why does he keep getting fucked over so much? Tell me, was he actually a virgin saving his 1st time for Cadence on his wedding night, so he had his 1st time with her stolen from him? Because that would make this far more depressing. I want Shining Armor to get revenge on both Chrysalis and Nyx.

...

I actually hate Shining Armor. He's become a sore subject for me because of the sheer amount of times bad things happen to him in fan creations. It happens to him way more than every other character. I know it's not fair to hate something about a show because of something outside of it, but I can't help it because it's to the point where the overwhelming majority of my experiences with this character are negative. When he keeps getting screwed this much, it reaches a point where it just gets depressing to experience this character. It's the same reason I hate Meg and Squidward. I hate characters who exist to lose and be abused.

In most of the serious stories, Shining loses and dies to the threat. He occupies that weird place that Vegeta occupies where because he's a good guy, far more powerful than the average person, and close to the main cast, when a threat happens, but because he's not a main character and not in the top tier of power, narratively, he has to intervene and he has to lose. Because the threat has to be scaled to the most powerful good guys to raise the stakes as much as possible, so if a lesser hero defeats a threat, it doesn't really feel like an accomplishment because you know the most powerful heroes could've beaten it easily, so there were never really any stakes. And writers also tend to kill him because it's a good, easy way to bring hardship to 2 far more relevant and powerful characters: Twilight&Cadence.

In most of the slice of life stories, it turns out that Chrysalis raped Shining Armor when she controlled him. And in a lot of those, it creates a child, so he's forced to be turned into a father. I actually read a comedy comic where this happened, and Cadence found out, and her reaction was to throw Shining Armor out of a window into a building, and his ass was sticking out of the wall, and a journalist took pictures of it to publicize his humiliation, and it's like "GOD DAMN IT." I inherently hate "Shining Armor was forced to be a father with Chrysalis because she raped him in A Canterlot Wedding" stories, and there's so many, they should be a genre. And again, it gets much worse if you imagine he was a virgin saving himself for Cadence on their wedding night.

Most of the comedy comics he's in are jokes at his expense. That's literally all almost everyone uses him for. If Shining Armor is in a 1-off comic, you know it's gonna be a comedy, and he's gonna be the punchline. It's like how in The Simpsons, every time the instant Milhouse starts talking, it's gonna do a joke about him being a loser because the only time they ever use him is when they're gonna do a joke about him being a loser, just like how when it shows Ralph, you know it's gonna do a joke about him being moronic because that's the only reason they ever show Ralph. In comedies, Shining Armor exists to be the butt of the joke.

In most of his porn, Shining Armor is mind-controlled, raped by Chrysalis, forcefully impregnated, raped by Sombra, tricked into sleeping with Chrysalis disguised as Cadence (making him look really stupid and all of these breaking his fidelity to Cadence).

I hate what the fandom has done to him. Shining Armor is a character who exists to lose, die, get hurt, hijacked, humiliated, raped, abused, mocked, and have unhappy endings. If the fandom acts like he's such a supposedly popular, beloved character then why do they keep doing this to him? Why does the fandom hate him so much?

I'm sorry for the long rant. I don't think it's wrong for this to happen to a character, and I don't think any of the individual creators who've done things like this to him are wrong, and I don't hate them; it's just that when I take a step back and look at the totality of it all, I can't help but be depressed. This is just me venting.

9012489 If it makes you feel better, Shining's a very competent guard in the universe that this story takes place in most of the time, and personally, i also hate how much of a butt-monkey the fandom makes him out to be. Sure, he can be a doof, but the dude stood up to Tirek and Sombra BY HIMSELF. He lost, but still, there's a reason he was Captain of the Guard.

And rest assured, Cadance was indeed Shining's first

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