One day, the day everything changed. Worms now run ramphent through Equastria, hiding themself, before they kill. A new military organization known as ZECT has been made to kill the Worm treat.
The world of Equastria has been forced to evolve, with more technology. The worm treat isn't gone, and ZECT are now longer enough to stop them, new masked ponies shall arise to stop the treat once in for all.
I do not own kamen rider or my little pony friendship is magic. They are owned be their respective owner, please surport the official release.
I hope you all can enjoy this story, it is my first.
Chapters (1)
ok first off, i like what you're doing but there are a good amount of words that don't fit, happens to everyone, just look it over slowly and fix it
now my biggewst concern for you is that you're only swapping some character and keeping other's with Japanese name. do yourself a favor that i did in my own rider fic. Think out a name for the characters that's more in line with mlp it will mesh better a bit,
also don't recreate every scene word for word, embellish a little. also don't use all of Kabuto; not many are going to want to stick around for 50 some ought chapters
and possibly the biggest thing! fix your description and get some kind of cover art...something with ponies
fix and keep the first two lines and get rid of the rest, no one wants to reads that, i know from experience,
i'll track this for now so i can keep watch
5193244 thanks and I hope I can make this awesome.
Also drive is so far interesting, I need two more episode before I can have a solid opinion on it.
5193342 I will try to answer your complaints in order.
1.Like I said in the author note of chapter one, this is my first fanfiction ever. So I'am still trying to get the hang of it. I will try my best to fix that for future entry's.
2.No most of character from Kabuto that matter(so expect all the rider in there someway or another). Also I just could not think of MLP version of the Kabuto characters name, I tried. If you can please tell me because it will help.(Tendou staying Tendou Souji, because it means the path of heavens, to rule all and I like that)
3.Don't worry I'am planning on change how some scenes work. And when it comes to filler, I'am changing it, I have option to change and I'am change it. I may or may not use all if Kabuto, still haven't decided.
4.Please tell me how to fixs it, it would really help. And about the cover art(I know someone was going to ask this) let me explain. I hand draw all my art, heck the idea for this story came from one of my devianarts(which I will now link http://blazewindstrike.deviantart.com/art/Masked-Pony-Kabuto-version-1-480919003 ), so when it came time for me to think of one, I could not come up with one at all. I know, that's my fault, but I can't. Any idea for one that I can hand draw.
5.Sorry pal, it took me a lot of time to do that effect and quote, so I'am not changing it.
Thank you for the criticism, I will help me in the end. I hope I can fix's these complaints of yours, and make the story better. I'am petting the fans decide what direction this story goes, but I do have plans to do things that Kabuto didn't do or explain. So just wait.
5194106 well for names it's kind of weird, i did my version of rider 1, i literally looked up the kanji for the character,s name and tried to make something out of it. a name for a scientist who has a thing for motorcycles. and then a friend of mine said "Cell Cycle", felt bad that i couldn't come up with that
if i had to take a shot at Tendou...Ruling Path? Rulers Path, have ponies call him Rule for short? i'd have to look into kagami
and as for your description. ones like your's attract attention...and not necessarily the good kind, i say that because i'm in a skype chat for a group and one of the guys in there is kinda infamous for just looking through all the new stoires and ones that in his mind don't measure up, and a lot of times it has what you have, or the First fic thing, i did it too but after a review i got changed it, people wanna know about the story, not the rules around it or you
you can put that stuff in the authors notes it makes more sense for it there
5194365 I will do the name thing if their is a good name for most of the Kabuto cast, okay. Also tell if this works for a description?
One day, the day everything changed. Worms now run ramphent through Equastria, hiding themself, before they kill. A new military organization known as ZECT has been made to kill the Worm treat.
The world of Equastria has been forced to evolve, with more technology. The worm treat isn't gone, and ZECT are now longer enough to stop them, new masked ponies shall arise to stop the treat once in for all.
I do not own kamen rider or my little pony friendship is magic. They are owned be their respective owner, please surport the official release.
I hope you all can enjoy this story, it is my first.
Again I appreciate the help. And if you want to help me man, message me, I need the editors.
5194471 well first threat not treat
second i don't edit i'm horrible with grammar
and for your descrptio just set your story up those lines there are fine not sure about the whole intellectual property, some do some don't
other than that keep going i look forward to more
5194510 ah, but you seem good with ideas and characters. Which well still getting the hang of writing characters.
I will do my best entertain you.
5875640 Yes I like this song and actually wanted to try to put into the first chapter but decided not two.
I only just found this story, it showed up in the "similar stories" thing for my Kamen Rider W fanfic. Still, hope a late comment would be appreciated if/when you decide to bring it back from hiatus.
5194471
I don't know what works for a description, I'm sure mine puts some readers off. But this one could use a little spelling/grammar check.
If you decide to carry on with this at some point, I'd strongly recommend finding an editor. The spelling probably bothers me more than it does most people (I'm told that's an autistic thing), but it would look more professional with the errors cleaned up.
5194106
Why not call him Heaven Path? That sounds like a valid pony name to me. A lot of Japanese names end up sounding like Equestrian names if you just put them into Google Translate. That's what I've done for mine; giving me names like Crimson Path, Level Clear, and Spring Blossom.
7740723 I made blog post explaining why I stopped working on this story for now till I am better at writing. Notice the hiatus mark, this a story I plan to be working on soon.
If you want to check out one of my more recent stories, here you go.