The Proposition
Oh sweet Celestia, help me! Twilight thought as she slammed the library door closed. Quickly, she channeled her magic through her horn and shaped into that of a bubble. It wasn't that difficult; she had used the same spell to keep out the Cutie Mark Crusaders when they had printed those horrible articles about everypony. Tears began to form in her eyes at the thought of the young fillies, now reduced to shadows of their former selves. Seemingly overnight, a sickness had overtaken almost everypony in town, turning them into creatures whose only sustenance consisted of the flesh of fellow ponies.
The unicorn was yanked out of her mourning when she heard impacts coming from outside. Knowing that the sources of the noises were what remained of her friends, she covered her head with her hooves and cowered in the middle of the floor, not wanting to face what was out there.
Apparently, the universe had other plans. "Twilight! We know you're in there! Come on out!" It was so hard to believe that Pinkie Pie wasn't her same old self, but a horrendous monster. Part of Twilight wanted to drop the magical barrier around her home and gallop out towards her, but the rational part of her mind knew what waited in store for her there.
The not-Pinkie continued after Twilight's silence. "Well, if you'don't want to come out, I might have just the thing to convince you!" With that, somepony began to strum an acoustic guitar. "Hit it, Dashie!"
"Heya Twi, it's Dash, and the rest of the gang's here too.
Good ta see you, buddy. How've you been?
Things have been cool for us, except that we're all zombies now.
Really wish you'd let us in."
Suddenly, Applejack's familiar drawl replaced Rainbow Dash's voice.
"Ah think ah speak fer all of us when ah say ah understand,
why y'all might hesitate ta submit ta our demands.
Ah jus' though ya'd llike ta know,
yer the next ta go, Twilight!"
The music swelled and a cacophony of voices called out to her. Apparently, all of Ponyville had shown up at her door.
"All we wanna do is eat your brains!"
Pinkie interrupted them to put in her two bits.
"We're not unreasonable.
I mean, nopony's gonna eat your eyes."
"All we wanna do is eat your brains!"
The party pony once again interjected.
"We're at an impasse here.
Maybe we should compromise."
"If you lower your little shield,
We'll all come inside and eat your brains!"
As the chorus wound down, Twilight ran up the stairs and began searching for something, anything to help her. Aletter to Celestia for help, maybe? No, she hadn't seen Spike since she'd sent him for more quills that morning. He was probably out there with the rest of them. Suddenly, Rarity's melodious voice reached the mare's ears.
"I don't want to nitpick, dear, but is this really your plan?
Spend your whole life hiding inside a dome?
Maybe that's alright for now, but soon you'll get tired and drop the ball,
and we'll all invade your home.
I admit that I'm surprised you haven't thought this through enough.
You're usually the type for all that bigger picture stuff.
But it'll all turn out okay, because we're eating you today, darling!"
"All we wanna do is eat your brains!"
"We're not unreasonable.
I mean, nopony's gonna eat your eyes."
"All we wanna do is eat your brains!"
"We're at an impasse here.
Maybe we should compromise."
"If you lower your little shield,
we'll all come inside and eat your brains!"
Twilight's curiosity finally got the better of her and she threw open the doors leading to her balcony. Looking over the crowd, her heart caught in her throat. There were all the ponies she knew, standing with bloodied coats and chunks torn out of their skin. Finding Pinkie, the unicorn saw her prod the former Fluttershy and heard her begin to sing.
"I want to help, Twilight, in any way I can.
I know this is all really scary.
I'm not a monster, well, um... technically I am.
I guess I am..."
Her voice faded into a mournful guitar solo. Zombie Pinkie had somewhere produced a Les Pony out of thin air, just like the random antics she did before her transformation. Twilight choked back a sob and ran back into the library, trying anything to escape the music that reminded her of what all her friends had become, but the noise followed her wherever she ran. Eventually, she stopped sprinting pell-mell around her house and sat in the floor to gather her thoughts, but Pinkie's Celestia-damned song once again interrupted her.
This is getting crazy, Twi, could we please just wrap this up?
We'll get you outta there somehow.
Meanwhile I'll let you talk to the Princesses who are heading over here.
I guess we'll forget 'bout this for now."
The next thing the unicorn knew, Celestia and Luna were standing before her, manic grins on their muzzles and dried blood marring their usually pristine coats. A feeling of dread filled the mare as they began to sing as well.
"Glad to see that you've held out for this long,
but now it's time to embrace what's been said in this song.
And we can put this thing to rest,
while we're eating through your chest cavity!"
Twilight blanched and Luna raised her voice.
"EVERYPONY!"
"All we wanna do is eat your brains!"
"We're not unreasonable.
I mean, nopony's gonna eat your eyes."
"All we wanna do is eat your brains!"
"There's no more impasse here.
It's too late to compromise."
"We're lowering the dome,
so they can come inside and eat your brains!"
The last thing Twilight felt as she lost conciousness was the combined magic of the two former princesses destroying her magic barrier.
A/N Just a stupid idea I had while listening to "Re: Your Brains" on Pandora, my second favorite song by Jonathon Coulton, right behind Code Monkey, but that's impossible to ponify. Let me know what you think in the comments, but honestly, this is retarded.
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And this is why updates on Maximum Ride have been so slow, kind of.
La..la..la.. EAT YOUR BRAINS...BRAINSBRAINSBRAINS!!!
Oh my.. I haven't laughed this hard sense... I don't know when. Funny story bro!
This song should be canon.
I read the description through thinking it was going to be just another boring zombie fic but I recognised the last line! Good sir this is beautiful!
Parade Of The Dead - Black Label Society
I read this once and found it slightly disturbing, and funny at the same time. Then I read it with the original song And I loved it! So glad that they were still in character even though they got their brains eaten. Must be their Primal instinct or something. Anyways, great job!
Dude, you're a freaking genius. I knew I heared the song somewhere before untill I read the note below. Awesome!
Needs to be more of these parodies floating around.
Didn't know there would be this many JoCo fans here
I just had to listen to JoCo while reading this
JoCo FTW!!
472902 yeah, that's kinda the point of the story
well twi maybe instead of using the force field you could've just incinerated them or levitated them over a cliff we know you can
473101 but that would defeat the purpose of the fic, and we can't have that!
also, since when have they taken the easy way out in this show?
473205the ursa minor one
uf youconsider leveating a giant bear and useing music and milk all at onc esiimple that is
473224 This is ponies, your logic is not welcome here!
473343 what is logic
im jsut rambling
I. . .I love you. Thanks for this and I'll be off I have to clean all this"Icwutudidthar" off the walls, floors and my pants.
Sincerely, the guy who made the youtube comment.
477263 glad you could join us!
if you think about it, the 4 ponies that would be alive for longest in a zombie apocalypse are luna, twi, dashie, and big mac. pinkie doesn't count.
477482 Ponies4Dead? With random encounters with Pinkie from time to time?
477482 I think celestia and aj would be just fine as well, and maybe spike, I doubt their teeth would be able to pierce his scales
478120 celestia would die in some giant heroic act, spike would die trying to protect twi, and aj when the horde got to acres, and was over ran.
478000 pinkie: fetch me some good ol' fashioned cupcakes and i'll move that truck for you!
479051 Brilliant!
Love this community.
Woaaahh this was AWESOME! Silly and fun, yet scary and chilling at the same time.
Hello writer,
When I read this, was kinda expecting something a little more... Serious so I wa bracing myself for some sleepless nights...
Then I read the line to the song, then the biggest Facehoof in history was applied, then I noticed it was pinkie talking and I was like, well she can bend reality when she's alive... So why not when she's dead?
Then the other ponies joined in...now I'm like... what
I get to the point where the song seems familiar, so I call my 12 yr. old brother what song it is and he's like it's the L4D2 song eat your brains, the second most biggest Facehoof was applied.
Anyways, while it was hilarious and... Disturbing
It does have a chance to be more fleshed out(No pun intended) and actually could provide a more serious storyline, or if so chose a Shawn of the dead style story(Comedy in the Begining and it gets progressively serious)
629734 Well just so you know, this wasn't supposed to be serious... At all.