As the schoolhouse’s bell rang to signal the end of the last period, the doors burst open as a torrent of foals rushed outside. Dinky and Pipsqueak trotted down the path leading to Ponyville. When they reached the outside of the gate, the unicorn filly saw her father standing there looking up at the clouds.
“Hey Pip…” Dinky trailed off as she shuffled her hooves in the dirt. “Do you mind if I—” she was cut off by a hoof pressed against her muzzle.
Pip nodded before he spoke. “Just go already, we’ll see you tomorrow Dinky.” the colt replied to the filly as he grinned. The smile soon turned into a furious blush when the unicorn pressed her lips against his cheek.
“Thanks Pip! Have a good day! Say 'Hi' to your parents for me!” Dinky shouted out as she galloped towards her father, with a grin plastered to her face. “Daddy!” Dinky called out, causing the stallion to turn towards her. Once she was close enough, the filly rose to her hind legs and nuzzled her father, who returned the gesture.
“Hey sweetie, how was your day?” Blueblood asked his daughter as he ruffled her hair.
Dinky giggled as she swatted her father’s hoof away from her head before she beamed at him. “It was okay, kinda boring to be honest.”
“Let me tell you something, about three quarters of a school year is always boring.” Blueblood whispered into Dinky’s ear as he grinned. When he lifted his head away, he kneeled down to the ground and motioned his head to his back. “Hop up.” the stallion said.
“Okay!” Dinky complied and jumped onto her father’s back, the latter raising himself from the ground with his daughter on him. As they walked down the path to the orchards, the filly rested herself against her father’s incredibly soft hair. So warm… “So where are we going, daddy?” the filly asked the stallion as she scooted closer to his neck and held onto it.
Blueblood craned his neck to face Dinky. “We’re going to Sweet Apple Acres… I need to discuss something with Miss Applejack, regarding a certain party.”
“Did somepony say party!?” Pinkie Pie’s head popped out of the ground as though she were imitating a mole, right in front of Blueblood and Dinky. The stallion had to brace himself as he stumbled in shock as he stared down at the pink mare.
“Pinkie… what are you doing?” Blueblood asked, cocking his brow when he got a giggle as a reply from the mare.
The earth pony ducked her head back into the hole, bringing out a bag filled with round objects. “Truffle hunting! Apparently I have a nose for sniffing them out! Got myself about fifty so far.”
Did she say… fifty?! Blueblood’s eyes nearly fell out of his sockets as he looked at the bag Pinkie had. The stallion swore he saw a white truffle amongst the other fungi. “Pinkie… you know how much a truffle goes for in the right market?”
“Duh!” Pinkie rolled her eyes before she beamed again. “How do you think I’m able to host so many parties and also help out my friends and family?” She asked Blueblood rhetorically, then her smile dropped from her face with her eyes widening and her pupils shrinking. The mare’s ears started to flicker and her mane straightened before puffing up again. “Oh my gosh! It finally happened!”
“What happened?” Blueblood asked, but got no response from Pinkie.
The pink mare pulled out a soldier’s helmet from oblivion and placed it firmly on her head, then saluted Blueblood. “There’s a party that must be set in motion! I must be off! Allons-y!” Pinkie dived her head back into the hole, which was then filled with dirt from the inside.
Just as Blueblood and Dinky looked at each in confusion and bewilderment, Pinkie’s head popped up again from behind him. “Oh! I’ll make sure to drop off some of the white truffles I just found at your place. I don’t know why, but Canterlot goes crazy for those. Bye!” The mare ducked her head back into the ground, leaving the other two ponies behind.
Only in Ponyville… Blueblood thought to himself before he started walking again with Dinky resting against his neck. The stallion spotted apple trees in the horizon, causing him to speeded up his trotting to a canter, which seemed to stir the filly from her reverie.
“Huh?” Dinky’s eyes fluttered open, followed by a gasp as she blushed furiously. Did I just fall asleep on daddy’s back? She giggled as she rubbed the back of her head, spotting Applejack bucking an apple tree.
When the last apples fell from the branches of the tree, Applejack wiped the sweat of her forehead before she picked the fallen fruits from the ground and placed them in her baskets. When she was about to get the last one, she was surprised to see it enveloped in a magic aura and levitated to the others. The earth pony turned her attention to the caster, seeing Blueblood with Dinky on his back.
“Well howdy Blue,” Applejack greeted the unicorn stallion and walked over to him. “Heya Dinky…” the earth pony mare cocked her head to see the filly on Blueblood’s back.
“Hi Miss Applejack,” Dinky replied as she waved her tiny hoof at the older mare. “How many apple trees you got left?”
Applejack shrugged as she grinned at the filly. “Just a few more, then Ah’m done for the day.” the mare turned her attention to Blueblood before she spoke again. “So what brings ya down here to my humble abode?”
“Well, I heard from Twilight that you haven’t sent an RSVP regarding your invite to the gala…”
“Yeah, ain’t really interested in tha’ anymore… too many snobs who don’t appreciate good quality treats from the Apple Family... “ Applejack blinked, then chuckled as she sheepishly averted her gaze. “No offence.”
Blueblood smirked as he nodded. “None taken… though you were trying to sell eateries at a party where all the food is provided by the chefs at no extra cost…” the stallion cleared his throat before continuing. “But, that’s something I wish to discuss with you… how would you be interested in being charge of the kitchen at this gala? I remember you prepared the cuisine for my cousin’s wedding.”
Well… Ah guess Ah could… fer a friend… “Wait,” Applejack raised her hoof, but then stopped and lowered it back to the ground. “What’s the catch? Do Ah need to make all them fancy snack with them complicated shapes and small sizes to them?”
“Not at all… your kitchen, your rules for that evening… just make us the best the Apple Family can produce.” Blueblood grinned before he raised his brows as he looked upwards. “Oh yes, almost forgot… you will also be compensated for doing this.”
“What’s constipated?” Dinky asked curiously as she climbed onto her father’s head and looked down into his eyes.
Applejack couldn’t help but giggle at the sight she was seeing. That’s so adorable… “Compensated, it means Ah’ll get some reward… what exact rewards Ah don’t know.”
“Bits,” Blueblood replied almost immediately before he leaned into Applejack’s ear and whispered into it. When he removed himself from the mare, he was surprised to see her ears droop to her head’s side and her eyes nearly bulged out in shock.
F-five… thousand… bits… tax free! Applejack began to mumbled incomprehensible words before her eyes started to swirl and she fell to the ground as she fainted, luckily caught by Blueblood’s magic.
“Daddy.. what did you say to Miss Applejack?” Dinky asked as she peered down on the unconscious earth pony.
Blueblood shook his head, then he used his magic to lift Applejack and the apples in the air, before walking to the farmhouse with Dinky on his back still. “Let’s just say… I made her an offer she can’t refuse.”
It seems everything is in order… Celestia thought to herself as she read the report concerning the preparations for the upcoming Grand Galloping Gala. Were it any other gala, she wouldn’t be overly concerned with the attention to detail. This year however, was very different. This event would mark exactly a decade since her nephew Blueblood had met Derpy, the night he found true love, something she had only seen in a few other ponies.
A knock on the door alerted the princess to the presence of a pony outside. She had a feeling she knew who it was, since she invited him earlier to her room. “Come in.” Celestia called out as she sat on her pillow. When the door opened, a gentle smile caressed the princess’ muzzle when she saw Wise Words coming in. “Wise, thank you for coming…”
“My pleasure, Princess... “ Wise Words bowed to Celestia before he raised his head from the ground. “How may I be of service?”
“Wise, you know when we are alone, you can call me by my first name.” Celestia said as she shook her head with a soft smile still present.
Wise Words sighed as he nodded. “My apologies, old habits die hard… especially for a stallion my age. Back to my question…” The stallion trailed off, waiting for Celestia to answer him.
“Well…” Celestia shuffled her hooves as she darted her eyes from one corner to the other with a grin on her face. “Could I trouble you to brew some of your delightful tea, please?” the princess asked as she beamed whilst giggling like a filly asking for a cupcake from her parents.
A snort briefly escaped Wise Word’s mouth before he quickly covered and cleared his throat. “Of course, Celestia. I’ll be right back.” the stallion replied as he suppressed a laugh seeing a string of drool come from the princess’ mouth, and he walked out of the room towards his.
After a few minutes away, Wise Words reentered Celestia’s chambers with his own fine china and teapot levitating in the air thanks to his magic. Once the princess gestured a seat to him did the stallion place his tools on a table before him.
“I snuck some cake from the kitchen whilst you were out preparing your tea.” Celestia grinned with her tongue poking out slightly.
A filly at heart...Wise Words sighed with a gentle smile before he poured the tea into Celestia’s cup as he placed it on a saucer and passed it to the princess. Once he made himself comfortable did the stallion enjoy his own cup of tea and a slice of cake, eying the mare who had emptied her cup the moment she got it. “You know… you’re suppose to drink it slowly…”
“I can’t help it… it’s just so good!” Celestia replied as she used a napkin to wipe the residue of left over tea on her lips. For as long as she knew Wise Words, he had never shared his secret of his tea recipe which he learned from his travels long ago, just as she has never found out the secrets behind the Apple Family’s famous crumble dish.
Wise Words’ eyes lingered to a stack of papers on Celestia’s desk. “I see you’re being more proactive than usual with the upcoming gala.” The stallion said.
“Well we all know this gala is going be special,” Celestia replied as she took a tiny sip of her second cup of tea, trying her best not to down the contents. “I want everything to be perfect for my dear nephew.”
“You’re treating this as though it’s a wedding.” Wise Words said.
“Maybe, but do you remember that one evening long ago…” Celestia asked the stallion, both of them remembering the despair-ridden state Blueblood was in after finding the one mare he gave his heart to vanished without a trace. She remembered how she cradled her nephew as he wept uncontrollably in her shoulder that day. Since then, she swore she would do her best to not have any of her family suffer like that again.
Wise Words grimaced as he nodded. “Agreed…” the stallion said as he drank some tea to quell a lump that was forming in his throat.
“Besides… I want him and Derpy to have the best night we can offer them.”
“Don’t forget Miss Dinky.” Wise Words reminded Celestia as he chuckled.
How can I forget such an adorable little filly? “Of course, I do believe she is bringing along a date with her… a certain colt you met and discussed your past role to.”
“Ah yes, Master Pipsqueak… interesting little colt, I can tell he has potential be a fine guard… maybe captain if he so wishes.” Wise Words rolled his eyes upwards as he remembered the conversation he had with the colt about being a guard of Equestria. As he lowered his head, his smile vanished slowly as he spoke again. “Speaking of our guests… there is something that concerns me greatly for the upcoming gala.”
“And what may that be?” Celestia asked.
“We both know… about Blueblood’s past suitors who seeked him in the past…” Wise Words replied as he took a bite of his cake before speaking again as he swallowed it. “I fear that this may be a dangerous environment for Miss Derpy and Miss Dinky.”
Celestia nodded as she spoke again. “The thought has occurred to me, so I asked my sister for assistance…” the princess trailed off, as he frown soon turned into a smile. “She said she would place her strongest in charge of protection for Derpy and little Dinky.”
“You mean Deadeye?” Wise Words asked, knowing that the said Katakan formed a bond with Dinky and would most likely be very protective of her and her mother should harm come their way.
“No, somepony even stronger.” Celestia replied with a grin.
Wise Words eyes squinted for a moment before he raised his brow and his jaw went agape. “You mean… her?”
Lying against her father’s neck, Dinky had a high up view of Ponyville as they trotted back into the town, and it brought a large smile to her face. Something above drew her attention, and she looked up just in time to see a chariot pulled by two Katakans fly past, with several more escorting it.
“Hmm, seems like Auntie Lulu has come for a visit.” Upon feeling a tug to turn in the same direction as the chariot on his right ear, Blueblood gave a chuckle and did as his daughter asked, following it. When he got closer, he saw a large crowd had formed, pushing his way through to see Luna with a glare on her face, and the Katakans around her were all mares, each one wearing darkened goggles. “Dinky, you’re in for a treat. It’s not often that there’s a public display of Katakan… politics.”
The crowd opposite them parted and three ponies approached Luna, a unicorn, an alicorn, and a Katakan. Shining Armour stood still with Deadeye whilst Cadance moved to Luna and had a hushed conversation. Once they were done, Luna turned to the nearest Katakan to her, the mare much larger than than both the lunar alicorn and her sister in build.
Understanding the silent signal, the mare’s wings fluttered as she stepped up to Deadeye and glared at him. Shocked gasps filled the crowd, and one filly got angry, as the mare punched Deadeye right on the muzzle and sent him sprawling to the ground. Blueblood didn’t have time to stop his daughter jumping down from his back and running between the two Katakans, a glare of her own aimed at the mare.
“Leave him alone!” she shouted her horn glowing slightly. The mare back up a little, then crouched down with a raised eyebrow.
“Do not get involved in things you don’t understand, foal,” the mare said, trying to step around Dinky, but the filly kept getting in her path. “Remove yourself from my way or I will move you myself!”
“If you touch my daughter, not even Luna will be able to save you from me!” The crowd around Blueblood parted and he stepped out, the Katakan mare giving a quiet whimper as she looked at the ground. “I know what Deadeye did yesterday, and I know this was the Katakan punishment for his transgression. Do you think he deserves more?”
“This was merely for the filly at the school,” the mare said defiantly, looking at the one eyed stallion still on the floor, his ears splayed back. “He still has to pay for how he treated the stallion. Speaking of which…”
Blueblood turned to the side, seeing one of the other Katakans escorting an earth pony stallion into the small circle. She led him right to where Blueblood was stood, saluted the other mare, then took her place back next to Luna. Grabbing Dinky with his magic, Blueblood pulled the struggling filly away and moved away from the other three, holding her close to his chest as he let her watch.
Deadeye finally moved, rising to his haunches and holding his head high, earning a growl from the mare, but he didn’t back down. Snorting, she turned to the earth pony. “Mister Rich, isn’t it?” A nod. “Deadeye, you know what is expected of you now.”
“A Katakan does not apologise,” came the curt reply.
“You said it yourself when we were rescued by the Night-mistress!” the mare shouted angrily, her wings flaring in anger. “We have to adapt our culture to be assimilated back into the world! And that includes apologising! Now swallow your pride and arrogance, and apologise for your actions!”
“If you are so big on our culture changing to fit with the rest of the Equestria,” Deadeye said with a slightly condescending tone. “Then why did the Night-mistress bring only mares, and Shadowbolts at that, instead of a few stallions to deal with me? Is it because you don’t want to accept we are now equals, and your seats of power no longer exists?”
From where she was forced to sit and watch, Dinky saw Luna’s horn glow and Filthy Rich was pulled from Deadeye and the mare just in time, as she dove at him, teeth bared and aiming for his neck. Deadeye responded in kind, meeting her lunge with the pair ending up on the ground, trading bites and blows as they fought.
“Daddy why don't you help him?” Dinky asked pleadingly, looking up at Blueblood with wide eyes.
“This is their way, Dinky. If you’re going to spend time in Canterlot Castle, it is best you learn as much about them as you can as early as possible.” There was the sound of a collective ‘oooh’ from the crowd as Deadeye was thrown onto his back, the mare jumping onto his barrel, with her rear hooves planted somewhere painful. “This, Dinky, is a Katakan debate… and Deadeye is losing.”
Dinky watched as the stallion tried to raise his head and nip the mare’s foreleg, but she just smacked his muzzle once more. He tried three more times, leaving a bit longer before each attempt until he let out a huff and lie still. Dinky couldn’t help but giggle when the mare leant down and licked his muzzle, causing him to groan.
The mare removed herself from Deadeye and set him on his hooves, them kicked his rump and made him move over to where Filthy Rich was stood, the Katakan’s ears splayed back as he sighed. “Mister Rich, I hope you can find it within yourself to forgive me for my attitude earlier this week. I have dishonoured myself, my kind, and my Night-mistress.” Deadeye knelt down and spread his wings wide.
“Daddy… what’s he doing?” Dinky asked in wonder.
“He’s offering the one he wronged the chance to punish him,” Blueblood replied, stroking his daughter’s mane. “If Mister Rich stamps on Deadeye’s wings, he is shamed. If he instead,” he paused as Filthy bent down, took one of Deadeye’s hooves, and pulled him back up to stand. “If he does that, then Deadeye is forgiven and his honour restored.”
Once the two stallions finished speaking with each other, they walked over to Blueblood and Dinky, Filthy Rich crouching down so he was eye level with the filly. “Dinky, I need to know. Is my daughter really a bully?”
Dinky’s eyes darted back and forth as she tried to decide how to answer. She felt a nudge from behind and looked up to see her father give her a nod, then dropped her gaze to the ground. “...yes, she is. Not only to me, but most of the foals in my class. Applebloom and her friends have it worse. When Diamond is with Silver Spoon hardly anypony stands up to them.”
“I… I see. Thank you, Dinky.” Filthy stood back up and gave a sigh, turning to look at Deadeye. “I must take my leave now, I have a wayward daughter to deal with. Have a good afternoon.” The trio watched as the stallion left the small gathering, his head held high.
Seeing that the event seemed to be over, the crowd started to disperse, all but three Katakans taking to the sky. The larger mare that had gotten into the scuffle with Deadeye walked over, making the stallion yelp when she lightly slapped the back of his head.
“Hey!” Shouted Dinky, getting the mare’s attention once more. “Enough! A-as your princess, I… I say stop hitting him!” The Katakan looked down at her, making the filly shiver when she was given a grin, the mare’s fangs on clear display.
“I have higher authority over him than even our Night-mistress.” The mare turned to Deadeye, rubbing her cheek against his. “Isn’t that right, Deadeye?”
The stallion groaned as he lowered his head, pouting at Dinky. “My princess, this is Nightshade, captain of the Shadowbolts and the one in charge of all Katakans… she also happens to be my mother.”
Dinky looked between the widely grinning mare and the downcast stallion, noticing a slight resemblance, and she remained silent for a moment… then fell to the ground and began rolling around with laughter. She eventually calmed down slightly, pointing a hoof at Deadeye and trying to speak between her snickers. “Y-you got told o-off… by your mommy!”
Deadeye turned to Nightshade and glared at her, whispering angrily. “I hate you.”
"I know..." Nightshade replied as she kissed her son's forehead, giggling at his pouting face. “And I love you too.”
Standing still as the tape measure worked its way around her body, Amber Vain looked around the room, her eyes glossing over the many different designs that were currently flooding the Canterlot fashion circle. This year it seemed to be form fitting outfits that were all the rage, which is why she had to be remeasured to make sure hers fit perfectly.
This will catch his attention, even with that pegasus whorse present. If she even comes, which I highly doubt she will. Damned commoners, they belong under us, doing our bidding without complaint.
“And we’re done here, Miss Vain.”
Amber shook her head clear of thoughts, turning to the white unicorn mare that was just stepping away. Fleur’s was always busy at this time of year, which is why Amber had booked this appointment months in advance, ensuring to keep her schedule clear.
“Hmm… clashing or complimenting colours?” Fleur asked, bringing out several rolls of fabric and holding them against Amber’s sage green coat. “Any preference?”
“Just one that makes me stand out,” Amber said, her eyes roaming over the rainbow floating around her. “I have a pony’s eye to catch.”
“Ah yes, your mystery stallion. Well I wish you luck. Speaking of,” Fleur said as she piled several rolls onto a side and put the others away, motioning to a paper resting on the side. “What about Blueblood? Finding out he has a daughter after ten years. It’s barely been a week, yet you can see the love he has for her.”
“Yes… it is adorable,” Amber said, gritting her teeth. Sly Cur will distract the mare, and that will give me the opportunity to get at Blueblood… but what of the filly? I may have to contact Dark Star. Yes… I can use her to my advantage if I play this right…
“Well, this will be ready tomorrow. Would you like it delivered?” Fleur asked, having selected the fabrics and shades she would use.
“Delivered would be preferable, I still have work to do over the next few days.” Amber slipped into her saddlebags, floating a small pile of bits over to the other unicorn. “I shall see you Saturday.” With that she left the shop, briefly glancing at the castle. Summons to the Ministry… I need a drink first.
A smile came to her face when she saw a quaint looking tavern. What luck… it’s open early, and Dark Star is probably still in there. Trotting into the building, Amber looked around, her gaze settling on a large lump on one of the benches. She used her magic to open the pony’s eye lid, smirking when the yellow irised, reptilian pupiled orb twitch a little before settling on her.
“I have a business proposition for you, if you’re interested…”
Now I can see why her last name is "Vain" love your series btw.
5569431
Thank you
So, who else can't wait for Nightshade vs. Amber Vain? That'll be fun.
5567273 RUBY IS NOTHING!!! Spike MUST obsess over Rarity (and build a creepy shrine to her in his closet)!! How else can he become a crazy stalker-killer in the season 6 parody of that awful recent Jennifer Lopez thriller, which shall be titled "The Boy Dragon Next Door".
Sweet Luna.....Blueblood is part of the mafia! great series and I can hardly wait for the next chapter. Keep up the great work
5569636
Glady you got the reference
5569641
of course I do. It's a classic! Kapeesh? how did nobody else catch that?
5569641 Cannot resist...
Dinky gasped in shock! "You're gonna leave a severed Saddle Arabian's head in her bed if she doesn't carry out the hit for you?!"
Blueblood blinked and decided he and Derpy needed to discuss what movies Dinky was allowed to watch at her highly impressionable age.
eeehhh! needs moar!
Somewhere in a deep, dark, dank dungeon, Charline de Lyon was humming merrily as she twisted off the heads of a few more screaming changelings, disappointed that they went silent so quickly afterward. A chime rang, she smiled, "Ahhhhh, Luna has a job for me..." The demonic leonine creature licked her lips. "I do hope its for capital punishment this time..."
And so the origin of the legend that NMM gobbled up ponies is at last revealed!
It's all some insane furry's OP god-mode character's fault!
(messed up the quote the first time)
So Luna placed her strongest guard with them, and not her most cunning? Yeah with all do respect while strength will be needed this is a battle where cunning will be key.
In any case though I can practically feel Amber panicking in her internal monologues, her plans sound less sure, their becoming more dependent on luck, and she hasn't done any evaluation of her "opposition" (Derpy & Dinky) and simply running on assumptions at this point. (Know they enemy and know thyself as Sun Tzu said), in fact while it may not be critical she didn't even take into account the possibility Dinky might bring someone along.
Her train wreck is going to be GLORIOUS!!!!!
5569797 And I don't know if she knows they have some ponies watching over them.
5569797 I'm with you buddy. I can't wait to see the her plaster mask break.
Why hello there, one-dimensional card-carrying villain!
I kid, I just like insulting Amber.
Wow. Vain has gone crazy. I guess we will see how that happens when the next chapters comes out. It was fun to read about Deadeye getting beaten up by his mom. Great chapter.
I feel the "debate" scene needs some work done. It comes up suddenly, moves fast and doesn't have much detail. All the important pieces are there but they lack connection, which makes it feel disjointed. The rest of the chapter is good stuff, just that scene needs a little bit more so that it flows a bit better.
Darn Yandere mares... Blueblood needs to bat them away with a steel pole.
5569740 i do believe this is the tamest thing i have read from you.
Uh-oh. Amber's starting to act like another gemstone entirely: (Queen) Beryl.
so let me get this straight, deadeye does the morally right thing and gets beaten for it?
your Katakans are rather... unpleasant, and your Luna seems to be a bit off as well...
if Luna truly is used to the old ways everything deadeye did was not only correct but morally justifiable, you can't tell me she wouldn't do anything to nightshade after that.
I get the feeling that whatever Pinkie is excited about has something to do with Fluttershy.
5569797 You've actually just met her... As far as Amber is concerned, Derpy is a harmless nopony, but one thing she will learn... NEVER anger the mama-bear.
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8438918400/h5BB13835/
5569918 5569944 When it breaks, it will be glorious.
5570300 We weren't sure whether to make it sister or mother, glad we chose the right one. Oh, and if anypony is wondering how she survived when his colony was wiped out, it will be answered soon. Like, next chapter soon.
5570719 After reading up on her, I can see the comparison.
5570840 Morally right, yes, but was it the correct way to go about it? Could he simply not had a polite conversation with Filthy Rich? Instead, he spoke full of arrogance and held disdain for a pony he did not know.
Actually, that's the idea.
Luna being off... by doing nothing? That will be answered next chapter. Again, what Deadeye did was probably correct, as it gave Filthy the wake up call he needed, but it was how it was done that was wrong.
5571056 ...and that's for another story. One we're working on and to be released soon, up to the point where each one's gala coincides.
but... but... that's supposed to be a Doctor WHooves reference!
Amber Vain is getting sneaky....
I just had a feeling that Amber Vain will use a love potion.
5571074
and i just realized that mistake.
*collaboration
5571525
Thanks... fixed
I don't know why, but Deadeye puts me in mind of this rather excellent fellow.
Vain is going to make the worst mistake of her, (about to be shortened), life. Endanger Daddy's Little Girl.
I admit that this chapter was not perfect (there were a few, minor, grammatical errors), but it was compensated with its engaging atmosphere. It really drew me into the story. I really also liked the small twist at the end.
5572805 We try, but sometimes things slip our grasp. Feel free to point any out to us. Also, which twist? We've put quite a few in here...
5572826
I enjoyed all of the twists, but I especially like it when the mare is discovered to be his mother. Mistakes-wise, I noticed a comma missing somewhere near the beginning of the chapter.
*Don't worry too much...little mistakes like these are always made by everybrony. And I still own a like and a favorite to your story.
5569456 First, I think it will be Nightshade vs. Dark Star.
5570840 Unfortunately, it doesn't matter if what he did was right or wrong. It only matters that he threatened a bunch of foals and challenged (whether he meant to or not) the parent of one of the foals.
5571074 I hope we, the readers, get some type of notice when Fluttershy's love arc is released.
What? We don't get to see Filthy Rich getting told off by Rarity and Derpy? That sucks. Please tell me we at least see the punishment that Diamond Tiara has coming to her.
5570644 So I should go back and 'improve' my comment?
Dang, Katakan society sure needs to be stood on its ear.
5571074 I'm not convinced that even how Deadeye acted was wrong given that it took that incident plus Royal Guard and Royal Family intervention before he realized that Diamond really truly was a bully. Unless nobody in town has ever spoken to him about it, he's probably had plenty of polite conversations about the issue that he just straight up ignored.
5573641 There will be a notification, don't worry. And yes, you will see the punishment.
5573761 Nope it was perfect as is but is tamer than the others. :)
If anyone ever does a reading of this story, that line MUST be said with an Italian accent.
I think you meant,
Other than that cute little chapter and I loved the part where Deadeye gets told off by his mother. But when she said she had more authority over him than Luna herself all I could think was, "She must be his wife." X to the D!
-ThePortalPonies
5576547
Fixed
Nightshade... will return
5576676 Can't wait! Hope there's a scene where Deadeye says, "Mom! Stop embarrassing me in front of my friends!"
-ThePortalPonies
I can foresee Amber's plans turning into a hillariously destroyed trainwreck, that gets put on fire, then hit by a bomb, and then banished to the sun just for good measure.
This will spiral out of control so very fast that we won't be even able to comprehend what's happening.
At least it looks like it so far
5576946
"But I brought snacks!"
"Moooooom!"
"I made snickerdoodles!"
"...guys I'll be right back."
5579774
"Wait sweetie, I'm sorry for embarrassing you! Come back!"
"No!"
"Come back or you are grounded!"
"But mooooom!"
"No buts!"
-ThePortalPonies
Damn, I just love this. :3
Nightsahde's his mother... ooh! That's gotta sting his pride just a tad. :p Also, I hope Filthy finally sets DT straight. I love the show overall, but DT's immense lack of character development has always been a failing to me,
5586711 I assume you mean the Katakans? That will be answered in another story. As to 'sheaths', yes, real ponies have them. Doesn't mean that multi coloured cartoon ponies do.
5571074 I like that image, lol