That Bloated Feeling
Rarity yawned and rubbed her eyes. What an odd little dream, she thought to herself, blinking a few times to clear her vision. It had indeed been odd – apparently she’d managed to stuff a marshmallow the size of her head right down her throat with no trouble. Rarity glanced about, half-expecting her pillow to be gone, if she remembered the cliché correctly. Still there, she thought as she found her pillow under her head and very much not in her stomach. Still, she felt awfully bloated, and found it surprisingly difficult to get up from her bed. She brushed it aside as leftover sensations from her dream, trotting off to her kitchen to make some breakfast.
“Sweetie Belle?” Rarity called out. Her sister had come to visit for a few days, and she simply wouldn’t forgive herself if she didn’t make a good breakfast for the little filly. “Anything you want for breakfast, darling?”
No response.
“Sweetie Belle, are you hiding?” said Rarity, rolling her eyes. “I’m not that bad a cook; I only burned the milk that one time!”
Still no response.
“Ugh, what insolence,” Rarity grumbled. “I’m going to make hay hash! You don’t get to complain if you don’t like it!”
“Mmmph, mmmph,” a voice mumbled.
The alabaster unicorn looked about confusedly. “Sweetie Belle?” she called out again, worry creeping into her voice. “Where are you?”
“Mmmmph!” the voice continued, sounding panicked.
Rarity’s eyes darted about, heart beginning to race. “Sweetie Belle, this isn’t funny!” she whined, half-galloping around the room frantically. If only this bloat in her belly would go away…
The unicorn stopped in her tracks, eyes wide. Slowly, she leaned her head down to look between her forelegs. There, she found the source of her discomfort: her belly was literally bloated, distended and dangling like an overfull sack! Rarity lifted a hoof to prod tentatively at her heavy gut, her jaw hanging open. Whatever was in there felt rather firm, with an irregular shape to it. And it moved! Rarity gagged a little as she felt the lumpy mass stir about weakly, inadvertently torturing her already strained stomach. How did something this big fit down her throat, anyway? Why, this thing had to be about the size of–
“S-Sweetie Belle?” Rarity whispered to her belly. “Is… is that you?”
“Mmph mmph!” the belly squealed back, louder this time, squirming about more forcefully. Even through all that flesh and muscle, there was no mistaking that voice.
Rarity’s breaths turned shallow, and her heart leapt into her throat. Stay calm, stay calm, she tried to tell herself. Her horn glowed brightly as she tried to grab onto Sweetie Belle’s wriggling form and drag her back up her gullet. “Hold still, Sweetie!” she choked, “I’ll get you out!” Alas, Rarity’s own body betrayed her every heave and pull, her stomach remaining tightly shut around its captive. “Please please please let her go,” Rarity sobbed to her squealing, thrashing gut. Said gut disobeyed her, instead rippling about in an ominous gurgle.
“Sis! Please!” Sweetie Belle cried, loud enough for Rarity to make out the words.
Rarity practically crashed through the door of the Carousel Boutique, racing through Ponyville’s streets despite her added weight. “Everypony out of the way I swallowed my sister out of my way!” she wailed at the top of her lungs. It didn’t matter that everypony was staring at her like she’d gone mad, or that they were pointing hooves at her strangely distended belly. Her sister’s life hung in the balance, and there was only one pony in town who could help!
***
Twilight Sparkle was hoping to sleep in today. Three nights in a row of organizing and reorganizing books had left her completely drained. I can’t even pull all-nighters properly. How am I supposed to be a princess like this? she thought with grim amusement. But now was not the time for doubts; the alicorn needed sleep.
BANG BANG BANG
Or not.
“Twilight open up it’s Rarity I have an extremely urgent problem of the utmost urgency that requires your urgent attention! Urgently!”
Twilight trudged over to the door, creaking it open to find Rarity hyperventilating on the other side. “Is this really that urgent?” she mumbled, rubbing her baggy eyes.
“Absolutely without a doubt it’s the most urgent problem in the history of urgency!”
“Well, come in,” Twilight yawned, stepping aside for Rarity. The white unicorn barrelled into the room, prancing about in a panic.
“You won’t believe what I’ve done it’s the most awful thing ever!” Rarity wailed, flopping onto her side on the floor. “I’ve swallowed my poor sister! Gobbled her up in my sleep like she was a petite pastry!” Rarity sprawled out to show Twilight her bulging, squirming belly.
“Twlmphmph? Hlph mff!” Sweetie Belle cried from her sister’s confines.
Twilight was definitely awake now, cupping her hooves to her mouth in horror. “Oh Celestia,” she whispered, carefully approaching the hysterical unicorn. “Ok, Rarity, I think I can get your sister out, but you need to calm down. Can you do that?”
“Calm down?” Rarity asked incredulously. “Calm down?! In case you haven’t heard, my sister is trapped in my stomach! She could be digested at any moment! Turned into mush!”
“She’ll definitely turn to mush if you don’t calm down and let me help you!” Twilight shot back, quickly facehoofing when she saw Rarity only became more dramatic at her statement.
“Oh, Sweetie Belle! You were taken from us too soon, undeserving of such an acidic fate!” Rarity continued to wail, tears streaming down her face.
“Oh for the love of–” Twilight grumbled. “Rarity, I’m really sorry about this, but…” the alicorn took aim with her horn and blasted Rarity with a stunning spell. In a brief magenta flash, the unicorn lay unconscious on her side, immobile save for her writhing stomach. “Ok, Twilight,” Twilight said to herself, “now for the hard part.” The alicorn charged her horn with another spell and touched her forehooves to the appendage, the glow distributing itself onto each hoof. She then pressed each hoof into the ground – literally; they passed through the floor without incident! She pressed again, the hooves making contact with solid ground again. Satisfied with her hooves’ selective intangibility, Twilight trotted up close to Rarity’s belly, focusing on its prisoner intently.
<Sweetie Belle,> Twilight called out telepathically, <can you hear me?>
<T-Twilight? Yeah, I can hear you,> Sweetie Belle’s thoughts sniffled back.
<Ok, Sweetie Belle, listen carefully: you’re going to see a pair of hooves pass through into your sister’s stomach. Don’t panic; just grab onto them and concentrate as hard as you can on holding on. Can you do that for me?>
<I, sniff, I think so,> thought Sweetie Belle. <Please hurry. My eyes are starting to hurt…>
Twilight bit her lip as she pressed her hooves into Rarity’s belly, steadily working her way through layers of skin, fat, and muscle to enter Sweetie Belle’s prison. An agonizing few seconds passed by as Twilight waited, until she could feel two itty-bitty forelegs grasping her hooves tightly. <Ok, here we go!> she thought to Sweetie Belle, before heaving the filly up through Rarity’s flesh. Slowly, Sweetie Belle’s head emerged, her mane matted with slime and her eyes puffy and red. As Twilight pulled, Sweetie Belle’s upper torso also sprouted from her sister’s body.
“Twilight,” Sweetie Belle coughed, looking around blearily. “Ohmigosh, Twilight!” she squealed upon catching sight of her unconscious sister, and the fact that she was now sticking out partway from her body. Twilight let out a grunt as her progress slowed, Sweetie Belle starting to re-solidify as her concentration broke.
“No! Sweetie Belle! Stay focused on me! Don’t pay attention to anything else, just me!”
“I’m focused, I’m focused!” Sweetie Belle whined, quickly regaining her concentration – and in turn, her intangibility. With a few more heaves from Twilight, Sweetie Belle phased entirely out of Rarity’s body and into Twilight’s grasp. She coughed and sputtered, gasping at the sweet, cool air, but was in seemingly good condition otherwise. Aside from the coating of slime suffused through her pelt, of course.
“That’s it! That’s it, you’re home free,” said Twilight, patting Sweetie Belle on the back.
“My, my throat hurts,” the filly croaked. “How did I, ugh…”
“Shh, shh, don’t talk too much. Let your throat rest.”
“Ow, my head,” Rarity mumbled as she regained consciousness. “Twilight, was that really nece–” she stopped, poking at her now-vacant belly, and then catching sight of Sweetie Belle in Twilight’s forelegs.
“Yeah, it was kind of necessary,” said Twilight with a wry grin. “Anyway, I think I have something that belongs to you.” The alicorn diligently floated Sweetie Belle over to Rarity in a magenta aura.
“Morning, sis,” Sweetie Belle wheezed, smiling weakly.
Rarity sat dumbfounded for a second, gingerly raising her own forelegs to take Sweetie Belle into a gentle hug. A fresh tear rolled down her cheek as she stroked the filly’s mane. “Oh, Sweetie Belle,” she whispered, “my darling, darling Sweetie Belle… You smell atrocious.”
“It’s your tummy,” Sweetie Belle said with a snicker.
“Yes, yes I suppose it is,” Rarity sighed. “Now, let’s get you to a doctor, make sure you’re ok.”
“Ok, sis.”
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So I have a couple of questions. Like, uh, how is Sweetie Belle still alive? And why did she let Rarity eat her. But the most important question is: Is this incest kind of? Because if this story is described as fetish fiction, and it involves siblings, would that make it incest?
Technically, it's great, the pacing is decent, and I'd actually give this a thumbs up if not for one, small little detail
img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20121121010948/warriorcatclansrp/images/2/25/Rodrick.nope.gif
Yes, I don't mind that you have a fetish, but please don't post it on here for everyone to see.
5388953 Don't even start to question how fetishes work. Some people might actually give you a (fantasy) explanation and it's likely you wont want to here it. If you do want to here it, f-list.net can help you (NSFW role playing sight warning). Also yes this would be incest. Also childporn, and possibly noncon.
Why do these things have to be added to groups I'm in?
I didn't want to see vore "fetish fiction". In fact, I didn't even know what vore was until arriving here. Good job author, you've ruined what little innocence TwiIight Sparkle had left. What has been seen can not be unseen.
Fetish dislike spam? Why? Liking just cause of that.
5389069
I haven't actually read this fic yet but are you kidding me?
Do you have any idea how much fetish fiction is posted here every week, and how often fetish fiction is on the feature box every day?
I won't pretend to play innocent, I like vore, but I'm not going to down vote the trillions of clop fics that get posted here every day simply because I don't like clop.
I'm going to read this now; if it's good and the L/D ratio is purely because of it being a vore fic I am going to have my jimmies rustled hardcore.
If the ratio is justified then I'll leave it be.
Edit: I read it. It wasn't that bad, there wasn't even any sexual content, which is usually associated with vore.
What the hell, FIMfiction?
If you don't mind the pun, I find this story... *WAIT FOR IT* hard to swallow. Since it would be IMPOSSIBLE for an equine's jaw to stretch the requisite amount to devour a filly, and she wasn't chewed into little bits, Rarity must have deposited her lil sis in her tum tum another way. Either through reverse pregnancy, or... we're looking at a youngster with a nice, dyed brown coat. Either way, I find this scenario utterly repugnant in every way and you sir, are SICK. As is anyone who gets off on this stuff. Now if, you'll excuse me, I have to put on my diaper for mama is coming around later. She doesn't like it when her little darling isn't dressed for the occasion...
Vore is one of the dumber deviantART fetishes in my opinion. It's strange, I can suspend my disbelief for magical talking horses but not for them eating one another and no one is physically harmed in the act.
...Why?
5389315
Look at the comment above yours.
I'm stunned by it.
5389325
Because what a person gets off to automatically makes them horrible!
... No. It doesn't. You can't make a blanket statement like that just because you don't like the fetish.
5389685 It doesn't make them a horrible person automatically, but if makes them excuse horrible things, like rape and child molestation, then, really, it kind of does...
Not saying that if you enjoy a clopfic you're horrible, but if you're now desensitized to horrible acts, it's gone too far.
But that comment you're replying is actually sort of a joke, if you can't tell.
5389689
Oh... Whoops.
5389699 If it's not a joke, then lord help us all, because that means the diaper thing is true too...
Oh look, vore fiction! And we all know how well that went over with the last author who tried it. *cough* zeldafand *unconvincing cough*
Mention the word "vore" and you get downvoted to Tartarus no matter what the story itself contains. Mention the word "futa" on the other hoof, and you get into the feature box quicker than Macintosh can plow into a mare's bum hole, again no matter what the story contains.
This particular story is definitely not responsible for its own rating. It was totally unfetishized from start to finish, kept everyone in character, and was pretty good when it comes to the quality of the writing itself. I'm a little iffy about the use of <> for telepathy rather than italics, but other than that, it was enjoyable. Heck, even if I wasn't over the moon into vore, I'd have still enjoyed this because it's a good story.
Calm the fuck down, Fimfiction. Vore has just as much of a place here as all those foalcon fics that hit the feature box every once in a while.
5389685
5389689
You all need to CHECK OUT MY USERNAME, put two and two together, bang yourself repeatedly over the head with a sledgehammer, then come back and apologise. Or at least, stop eating people.
5389726
Sorry; I didn't know it was a joke. My apologies, friend.
5389726 I knew it was a joke, dumb-bum.
Why do people hate this?
5389736 No idea. No idea at all. Apparently there's a difference between human child porn and horse child porn. At first glance that's maybe gonna come across as an obvious difference, but considering how humanised these ponies already are...
I really do worry about this place sometimes.
5389737 Oh, really? Well according to comment No 14, you were somewhat wavering over the whole adult sized toddler fantasy. So don't make out you're smarter than the rest... stupid bottom. (BTW, you REALLY need to work on your insults)
5389765 Holy crap, you're actually really daft. I wasn't talking about you at all, that's why I said CLOPFICS. Was your comment a CLOPFIC? I don't think so. Your diaper comment actually gave me a laugh.
K whatever bye.
5389749 Because they're normal, rational human beings who are more interested in chowing down on Santa Claus's candy canes, than good ol' Saint Nick himself?
5389752
Children are children whether they're humans or horses or something in between, like ponies. That's my main problem with it: Sure, they have a different body type, but foals are exactly like human children, mentally. Foalcon is exactly the same as any other kind of pedophilia. Which is worse: Rarity eating Sweetie Belle in her sleep and getting her out virtually unscathed in the morning, or Rarity pinning her to the bed and using her in her sleep and... No, I'm trying to think of a way Sweetie can come out of it virtually unscathed, but there's no fixing that.
/rant
Sorry, Bleughie... If you want me to remove this, just ask. That way you're not left with a deleted comment to mar your reputation. Speaking of your reputation, you're handling this very well. /) I think I like you.
5389736 Because underaged people having sex happens, while people being swallowed whole for sexual pleasure and having no side-effects would never happen in real life, and is, therefore, even more off-limits than other things. My guess.
Depending on what country you are, or what time period you lived in, age of consent changes. Eating people has always been a no-no.
5389770 That's it... retreat when you know you're in the wrong. The only person who mentions diapers here was me... and my remark wasn't a 'clopfic'. Whether you laughed or not is irrelevant... You were referencing my comment, so if you want to see someone daft I suggest you take a good, hard look in the mirror. There, I've said my piece Soccerboy. Cheerio!!
5389792 Dude, what? Like, seriously, what's up your butt? I was never talking about you to begin with, and then you called me out to begin with with this 5389726 comment. Obviously I'm going to answer you. If you're trying to be a troll, I guess I can say you were successful. Otherwise, I don't know what to say...
I was DEFENDING your comment by calling it a joke, and then you call me out.
5389787
Of course it does, but there's no reason to fetishize it to the extent that Fimfiction and, say, Japanese culture do. I know how traumatic it is to be taken advantage of. It's not about the age, sure; it's about maturity, understanding, and equality.
Soft vore is impossible to translate into reality unless you're mad or desperate. On the other hoof, I know people who have pedophilic tendencies who fight temptation every day. Little teasers like foalcon can be a way for them to blow off steam, or they can be a way for them to rationalize it being okay. It's a dangerous line that's so easy to cross. I'm not against stories that involve children and sex - hell, in spite of my past I've been tempted to write one myself because it would make a fantastic story - but once it crosses that line, you'll find no support from me.
...Luna fuck me with the moon, am I a social justice warrior now?
5389808 Um... no, you're okay lol. You are nowhere even CLOSE to being a SJW. You have logic. SJW usually have no logic at all (or are extremely biased, to say the least).
5389818
I suppose that's alright then.
Hmph. I've been here long enough that I should just read the damn story and find something relevant to say. See you on the other side!
(Spotted all the downvotes and wanted to see what the fuss was about.)
When I first arrived at FIMFic, I was unaware there was already another Estee in the fandom. My counterpart works at another site, generally on commission, and writes to the needs of the reader. Namely, you tell hir which pony you'd like to see eaten, which other pony you want to do the eating, and so it shall be written. For a fee.
I'm still waiting for hir to complain about someone mixing hir up with Piano Murdering Pony Hitler.
So haven't been there, haven't done that, but that country seems to be economically healthy. (They recycle.)
5389806 "The diaper thing must be true too", you said... Which was a reference to my comment. I'm bored talking about this, but you are in the wrong here... and thinking I'm a troll for simply trying to state my case and cutting edge remarks such as dumb-bum and daft aren't going to sway my POV either. And you were DEFENDING my comment, well, with friends like you, who need enemies? You seem to be slightly confused, which is why I suppose you're here reading a cannibalism fic when you say you find them unsettling. I'm here because I enjoy reading stories with bad ratings. What's your excuse?
5389836 That secondary comment I made was sarcasm.
"Lord help us all", as if I actually CARE what people do in their own homes...
5389838 Well, that explains it. Clearly you need some practice at the art. Perhaps you should take lessons from me.
Oh, and to the person who first of all LIKED my comment No 7, then turned it into a DISLIKE when they probably read some of my follow up remarks... HA HA HA. As if I care. Get a life.
Ciao!
Oh boy. A down-vote rush to make an author into "object less" for content that offends you. Ya, that's fair(deep sarcasm).
I am neutral on this story, it's not my thing-- now stop picking on the new guy(or gal). Use that 'energy and drive' to do something constructive. Also, crappy trolling is crappy(get a life or get better at trolling-- like pick better targets).
Bye.
5390062 Well, since you're the good guy in this scenario, I must ask, since I don't have answer. How does he improve his story?
5390097 How does he improve it? He barely even needs to. It's not exactly unreadable writing after all.
The best thing Bleughie could do is alter the description to remove calling the story "fetish fiction", and remove the vore warning since that's already implied by the blurb. He could also change the title to remove the "and I liked it" part, since that's all part of what's causing people to take one look and hit the down vote button.
5390124 Good thought. I didn't consider those. The only help I could have provided would have been "DON'T WRITE FETISH FICTION." In fact I did just that in my earlier comment. But I suppose that his title does its job, if its job is to attract people only for them to hit the downvote button.
1. Lead into the stories fetish element more slowly. Establish context first and then the 'handwave-y' explanations on the how's of the stories fetish elements. Suspension of disbelief will be much harder for this piece(though less of an issue for the target audience/author).
2.Practice makes perfect-- write more and comeback to this piece
3. Even if it is written for a teen rating don't post it as one... The Trolls and bored armchair 'crusaders of _' will descend on teen rated stories more often(teen rating+sex tags on a very fetish story... nope. bad idea).
P.S.: 5390097 nice try turning this around on me here. Great deflection. Much meh.
5390124 +1 for practical advice
5390163 Who's deflecting? I genuinely thought that this fic was unsalvageable, yet you seemed to know something that I didn't.
Also, you probably think I look like this.
businessesgrow.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/snob.bmp
5390206 Actually, given the tone I used in my posts... That pic really fits me right then(I can be honest here, I was unnecessarily snobbish and confrontational). Calling me out for it previously was fair.
Going "white knight" here against other "white knights" isn't the brightest thing(not really you for this part). Though it's mighty satisfying to do at least once.
P.S.:Nice pic.
5390133
5390169
Man, I kinda weep for the author, who's going to wake up and see this giant tirade of comments and an equally giant Sith lightsaber in place of this story's vote box. I hope he keeps writing this, even if the opening could have been handled a bit more carefully.
5390364 That thought about comments crossed my mind, actually. You know what, I'll do something about it.