The Price of Wings

by SkyPieIsTheBest

The Price of Wings

Author's Note:

Please excuse Twilight calling Celestia a bitch and saying fuck twice.

The night sky shines on my bright purple fur; my eyes are dark as the night. I walk slowly and with a very important purpose. Today is the day of the Summer Sun Celebration. Today, Celestia will raise the sun. It was about four thousand years ago when I met my friends here in Ponyville, the host-town once more. Today is the day we have to choose my faithful student, Morning Star, to help us with something very important. She looks descent for a young filly, about the age I was when I took the Elements into my hooves. We don’t know who the next six elements are going to be, so we must wait and see.

That’s not the reason I’m telling you this though. I stand in front of Rainbow Dash’s grave. On it, it said ‘Rainbow Dash, loyalty; the fastest wonderbolt ever, friend of Twilight Sparkle R.I.P.’: the first to die was her. On that night, so many years ago we had been such close friends. Then Rainbow Dash, one of my friends, got in a fight with Pinkie Pie. She left us in an awful condition. I went from student to student, trying to find the next elements. That’s when we found Rainbow was killed in a wonderbolt accident.

She had flown fright into a thunderstorm, ripping off one of her wings. The wing got infected and she was killed off. I now stand in front of Pinkie’s. ‘Pinkie Pie’ it read, ‘laughter; the most happy pony in Equestria, friend of Twilight Sparkle, R.I.P.’ Soon after her death, Pinkie Pie started to feel more and more depressed. She kept telling herself that she was the reason Rainbow Dash died. A while after she locked herself up, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, and I came to her and we tried to talk to her.

She looked down at us through her window and started to cry. She then stood on her windowsill and jumped off. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Pinkie Pie committed suicide! I know it wasn’t her fault and no one even thought that!

I look down on Fluttershy’s grave now: ‘Fluttershy, kindness, the most caring pony in Ponyville, friend of Twilight Sparkle, R.I.P.’ I think about her death hard and I remember the new leader of the society she was in come up to me. She told me that my old friend was dead. She described it so fiercely! She was holding a rabbit that she had no idea was full of disease. It was the newest animal in her house. She was playing with it when it scratched her eyes and bit down on her arm.

I saw them carry her dead body into the small box. I of course cried during the ceremony. I was always so mean to Flutters. She was kind and innocent. I never said that she was my best friend in the world. I loved her as a friend. She was the most calm and fun, besides Pinkie.

Then I walk over to Applejack’s grave. ‘Applejack, honesty, she never told a single lie, friend of Twilight Sparkle, R.I.P.’ After Granny Smith passed away, she insisted on taking over. She broke both her legs in a bucking accident. Then she fell into water after going down a hill too quickly on her wheel chair. I couldn’t believe that she was dead when they told me. I could see Apple Bloom was bawling at the ceremony. Her cutie mark was an apple heart with small seeds inside it. I frowned and looked at the next grave. ‘Rarity’, the grave said, ‘generosity, the most fashionable mare in Equestria, friends of Princess Twilight, R.I.P.”

She had ridden the train all the way to Canterlot, Twilight’s home town. She was almost as happy as I was when I became Celestia’s student! She kept telling me that she would always be with me, even if she had left to live in Canterlot. She got on the train and I cried. She was my only friend left. Princess Celestia promised her, in a note, that she would take care of her friend. Rarity said it was an honor being the best friend of a princess and for being the element of generosity. Is that all she cared about? Did she learn nothing about some pony being your friend just to be who they really are? She seemed to have learned nothing from the years of friendship between us! I sobbed more and I went to my empty castle. I set down Rarity’s element, and I saw the rest of the necklaces on my other friend’s chairs. Sometimes I saw their spirits in the chairs looking at her with care.

A couple days later, I saw them again, but this time, Rarity was among them. I stared at her in horror. She had died! Just after that, I heard the guards coming up. They told me that she died in a train crash, tripping on some stones and falling on the tracks right in front of a moving train.

Then, Spike died in a tragic event. Dragons, full sized dragons, ripped him to shreds. His grave stands in front of me. ‘Spike,’ it read, ‘the assistant to Twilight Sparkle, R.I.P.’

Ever since then, I sat in my castle in silence. I let no pony in; not even Celestia. I sat in silence for hours, days, weeks, and even a year! When I came out, I felt warmth surround me. Seeing the spirits of my loved ones, wearing their necklaces always made her terrified and sad. They would sometimes smile at me, and whisper things like, “I miss you,” to me!

I stand above their graves now though. Their spirits are at the castle, waiting, but she still felt that she needed to stay here to be with them. “Twilight?” a voice said behind me. “It’s time for the ceremony.”

I turned to see Princess Celestia behind me. She gleamed like the sun. Her pink eyes were beautiful. “Yes,” I say. Celestia looks at me, and nudges me a little. She then puts a small balloon that was behind her back on the spot where Pinkie lay.

“Oh Twilight,” she said. “I miss them too.”

I feel a tear run down my face. “You didn’t know them like I did!” I yell at her, and she looks at me shocked. Her eyes are small with fear and I stare at her with my eyes burning from all the tears that had fallen today. “I knew them not only as the elements, but my best friends!” Celestia put her chin on my head as I cried over Spikes grave. “I didn’t see him as an assistant but a little brother, with scales! I know you were trying to help Equestria but you fucked up my life! If you don't see that, you're a heartless fucking bitch!"

Celestia stared at me and frowned. “You’ll start to feel better-“

“No I won’t!” I yell, and she looks into my eyes. “You never lost your best friends!” She looked at me and smiled. I stare coldly into her eyes. How could she be amused by my words? My tears stained my face and I turned back to the graves.

She stared at my and then opened her mouth in a sigh. “I lost my sister for a thousand years,” she said. She looked at the moon. She started to cry with me and I came closer. I didn’t think of Celestia as a teacher but as a mother. “I feel your pain Twilight. I know that you want them back, but they can’t come back. I already know that about my parents.” I heard the story of her parents. They had to be sacrificed to the galaxy to complete it, after giving birth to Celestia and Luna.

I put my head on her shoulder and cry quietly. “Y-you said the ceremony, was, huh, starting?” I ask, choking on my words. I looked at her and she nodded, but turned to me. I try to hold back my sharp words and my anger. You mother -

“The sun will be there when we start,” she said, and I nodded. I lay down with Celestia snuggled close to me. The rain fell steadily on the trees above us, but not on us. My magic protected us from the cold rain and dark night. We slept, disturbed by no one but the rain on the glass like force field above us.

The End

Comments

[fredsite]

Not horrible. It could use quite a few improvements, but it was a decent concept. The deaths could have had more variety, instead of every pony dying through incredibly unfortunate events. Rainbow Dash's death was a bit forced, but Pinkie's reaction was perfect, even if the way she carried out the act was a bit of a stretch. I don't believe Sugarcube Corner would be tall enough for a pony to kill herself. If you could, try going back through the entire story and explaining things more. Also try to separate events a little more. The story got a bit confusing towards the middle. Keep editing and it has the potential to be a great story.

Sorry if I was blunt with my comment. I really did like the story, but I just felt it could be improved.

[niceguy89999]

Great story. Not one of the best stories I read, but it's still pretty good. Here are the few problems.
1. How the characters died. I feel you could of added more detail about how Twilight's friends died. For example. When pinkie jumped out the window how did she die. I'm pretty sure Sugercube Corner is about 3 floors high. I believed she would of survived, or at least Twilight would try to save her.
2. The story was too short. If your going to write about how the element's of harmony died and how it effected Twilight. You should have a much bigger chapter or more than one chapter. The story feels rushed and is not having the effect you want the story to give.
Here are a few suggestions. 1. Add more detail about the deaths of the elements of harmony. 2. think about how the elements of harmony's actions caused them to die. This could help make the pony's deaths more accurate and not rushed.
Other wise the story was pretty good. do some of these suggestions and your story might turn out better than you might think.

The rating of the story will be out of 10
I shall rate this story at 7/10 or 3 1/2 stars
thanks for reading my comments. Hope it helps

[SkyPieIsTheBest]

4929880 Thanks for the advice. I'm not going to be on FIMfiction anymore really, so I'm not going to get around to editing it, but thanks anyway.