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An old enemy returns to Equestria while Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash are out of town. When something unusual and unspeakable happens to the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and the Elements of Harmony are too separated to be of any use, the two pegasi may have to face this new enemy on their own.
Set before Season 4.
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Think about it... The more you do, the more unintentionally racy it gets.
"For." Also, I know who it may be!
You have piqued my interest, I would like to see where this goes. Have a favorite and a like.
KBO.
A few grammar errors but great potential. Kept me interested. Can't wait for next update.
4807027 Please message me with any grammar errors, as Neko does regularly. I do all my own editing and would be more happy to fix them.
I will as soon as I can. It's not noticeable though so it doesn't really effect your story.
1.) "Traveled."
2.) Extra space.
These are replacements for I and I'll, so they should probably be capitalized.
Once again, this should probably be capitalized.
A wild Braeburn appears! Fun. The plot thickens. With Brony nomenclature that sounds so wrong...
KBO.
This should not be a possessive. It should be "it's."
Missing word.
This should probably be capitalized. Also, Apple Bloom has the same morals I do.
The pony term is "gesundhoof."
Ah, a Khajiit. Interesting. I have not seen many of those in pony stories. Technically this is only the second story I read that had any. The first one is... well it dos not matter.
KBO.
4816880 YOU DID NOT JUST WORD CRIMES ME
Also fixed, as usual. Thankee
"Dos not matter?"
Is that a joke about Windows Operating Systems?
4816887 No, it means my e key is temperamental and only works sometims.
They all died!
Actually it was Vesuvius that exploded. It destroyed Pompeii and Herculaneum. Though I suppose that Vesuvius is harder to ponify.
Missing d. At the end, I mean, not at the beginning. Why would Dan do something like that?
And stallions.
The bow is pink.
img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140316011333/mlp/images/b/ba/Apple_Bloom_ID_S4E17.png
img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130207004728/mlp/es/images/e/e9/Apple_bloom_vector_by_piolet231-d5l4350.png
Short chapter, but it was still enjoyable. I am glad that I am not the only one who finds the rocking horse freaky.
KBO.
4851675
"Red? That bow's not red! It doesn't even look red!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raQhYazTYi4
4852936 The fact that you can type so well being blind is remarkable. And using the spell checker and reading this comment is even more amazing.
Well, just read through 'Denial' and I'm less than impressed. I don't know if it's because of the 'Random' tag or because you were trying to come off as funny, but it struck me as half done.
5008979 I respect your opinion, and I really truly appreciate you telling me this instead of just Disliking and running away without a word. Thank you for your input.
5009189 Not wanting to seem contrary, but the dislike up there isn't mine. The premise has promise (try saying that five time fast
), I just don't like how it was delivered. I only 'dislike' things that have absolutely no redeeming qualities in them whatsoever. (Given my generally laid back attitude about things, that isn't a lot of things. BTW am reading 'Goodnight Woon' an dam loving it. I'm about halfway through it and looking forward to the rest. 
)
Hmm, I thought Katrina had given up on such things. We gonna see Rep too?