Piña Colada is a young filly who has a happy outlook on life. She is a great student, and she loves all her friends. But the minute she gets home, her happiness stops. At home, Mommy is always drinking her adult juice, and she says it's to help her deal with life. Daddy also drinks it, constantly. Piña just wants them to stop, but she can't seem to get through to them. She decides to take desperate measures, and that's when Mommy finally wakes up.
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Could have been heartbreaking if it hadn't gone by faster than a drunk driver on coke in the wrong lane.
4651287 Heartbreaking wasn't exactly what I was going for... More like sad...
4651295
Alright, it could have been good if it hadn't gone by faster than a drunk driver on coke in the wrong lane.
2700 words is not enough to make something sad unless you're Regidar.
4651295
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How does that even make sense?
4651310 Oh. Well, sorry it wasn't good... Oh well. Some ideas are bad, some are good... This wasn't a good one!
I know heartbreaking when I read it, and like Pina, I was abused too....I know the pain and confusion, and this was very realistic! So everybody else,saying bad things can buck off!
A bit too short in my opinion, but you had the right idea of where you wanted to go with this sort of story.
It is not as easy as most people think to write a story. They think it is just as simple as typing words onto a computer, but it isn't. Trying to invent a compelling plot, and then trying to write out that plot, it is not as easy as people say it is, and those who say that are already great writers themselves.
Look at me. I just get lucky with my stories if they get into the Popular section.
Whatever criticism comes your way, friend, be proud that you went ahead with this. Okay, so some people won't like it, but then are you writing this story for them? Some people will like your writing, and some people won't. Personally, I liked it, that's why I faved it. It was not at all what I was expecting. You took something that happens in reality, and put it into the MLP universe. That's a powerful thing right there, to take something real and merge it with something innocent.
Really liked this. Sad ending for the child, but it happens in our world, doesn't it? Alcoholism is one of the greatest evils most children are victims of. Very well done to you friend. Two thumbs up.
That...
That was so... sad... 
4651647
4651576
4652173 Thanks, guys! Honestly, it's just three dislikes... I've gotten worse! The thing with stories like these is... You've had to have experience to really get these to the heartbreaking place. And (luckily) my childhood was pretty uneventful! I wasn't trying to make this heartbreaking, just realistic and, if you found it so, sad. But I'd like to thank you guys for the support!
4651310 Besides length (which is a constant problem of mine
), is there anything else I could have done better?
4651317 I... Don't know...
4652291 A story should be written as much for the writer's enjoyment as for the audience. It shouldn't matter what others think of it, so long as the writer genuinely enjoyed writing it.
If we focus more on what the audience is feeling or wanting from a story, we begin turning writing into a job rather than something that should be fun, and that destroys the enjoyment of writing. It is good to have criticism to help us improve so that we can enjoy writing more, but we should never abandon our preferred writing styles and methods just to please the masses.
4652339 That... Is the exact talk I had with myself on my four hour car ride home. Recently, I seem to be writing for others more than myself. I do want to become a better writer, but writing (for me, anyway) has always been about fun. When I give myself deadlines, it isn't that fun.
Basically, I'm going to write for myself, and myself only, with only a few stories for other people on the side 
.
4652291 That was VERY heartbreaking... and I don't necessarily agree with you, I've written a few heart breaking stories of my own with experience on the subjects, but I understand them, so I'm able to accurately portray them.
And you seem to understand this particular problem very well. Bravo good sir/ma'am. (which one is it?)
4652370 Ma'am! Being the sheltered person I am, that is the one thing I will say on this site! I am female!
4652378 Okay, I've been wondering that for a LONG time, but I never asked...
4652363 The problem with a lot of writers is that they try to impress other people thinking that is the way to get Followers, but it isn't. It shouldn't be.
I don't care if people don't like what I write. So long as they have a reason besides being difficult about it, I will respect their decisions.
You did a nice job here, and whether you believe it or not, I mean that honestly. But what I think doesn't matter, and it shouldn't. Ultimately, it is YOUR view on your story that is important. Did you enjoy writing this?
4652380 Oh, don't be afraid to ask! But the minute you're giving me your phone number and asking where I live, we'll have a problem...
4652392 Personally I enjoyed writing it very much! Oh, and that is exactly the reason why I followed you. Those paragraphs. (Okay, and I love your writing as well, but that's not the matter at
hoofhand here!)4652410 Hey can I have your phone number and where do you live?
Heh, yeah, I'm not normally one for asking people questions about themselves because I'm afraid I'll insult them...
4652421 Yeah... The Internet is weird! and while we're at it, what's you social security number?
4652429 Oh why it's 1... heeeeeeey, don't try and trick me!
4652414 Well, you know, I like to make people smile and laugh. And I found this site to have so many good people who are just amazing. Had I never become a Brony, I would never have discovered all of the amazing people I am honored to have as my Followers - no, not Followers, as my friends.
Really, I like writing now and then. I like that my Followers - DAMNIT! I mean 'friends', come on UniqueSKD! Get your crap together! - are willing to give me the time I need to find inspiration, the motive, to write something new. To be pressured into writing something - no great story comes out of that. When your readers start pressuring you to write a new chapter, mistakes can be made.
People like Regidar and RainbowBob, who is a follower of mine (YAY!) can handle the pressure pretty well, cause' they are used to it, but some like myself can't deal with it. So to have a lot of understanding friends - yes I got it right! - is very helpful.
I looked at some of the stories on the side there. You look like you have some good ones. I'll try to get around to reading some of them soon. You have my word on that, Derpyx2
Well, I better get back to making that birthday animation for my follower - DAMN IT! MY FRIEND! GOD! - so we can talk another time. Feel free to send a PM whenever you like. I'm happy to offer advice and help as best I can if anyone needs it. Be safe and healthy always wherever you may be, and I bid you a pleasant day or evening!
(bows politely, puts on top hat, floats upwards into the clouds completely defying gravity. Screw gravity)
4652472 Screw Gravity. Bye! *Waves Fedora*
4652339
I agree, but they're putting their story out for us to enjoy. Thus, it's assumed to be written with the audience in mind. Ethesto is the only person ever to use FIMFic who could actually say "I write for myself fuck you" and mean it, I think.
4652570 No idea who that is, but kudos to him! Or her, or...whatever. XD
4652570 Very true. We wouldn't be on here without an audience...
This sounds like it should have a dark tag.
4652748 You think?
4652863 Yes.
4652887 Hmm... I'll think about it. You're probably right. The death part in this might need a Dark tag...
Not a bad read.
Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.