I Need You
Piña Colada is a happy filly. She's got a good group of friends, and decent grades. She always smiles and waves to anypony passing by. But ponies would always wonder why she seemed reluctant to go home. Why her smile dimmed at the mention of Mommy or Daddy. But nopony questioned it. Nopony thought that something was happening. But something was.
Every other child would shout "Mommy, I'm home!" when they got home from school. But not Piña. If she interrupted Daddy, she would get in trouble. And she didn't like getting in trouble. So, when Piña got home, she slid inside and ran up to her room, as quickly and quietly as possible. She did her homework perfectly. If she got bad marks, Daddy would get mad, along with Mommy. It was worse when Mommy got mad. She shot Piña disappointed looks, and shook her head. She refused to talk to her until she brought home good marks again. Daddy would hit her, but at least his hits wouldn't go past the skin. Mommy's looks dug deep into her heart; as if they were daggers piercing her very soul. She didn't like to make them mad. So she did what she always did. She stayed quiet, and she stayed good.
Sometimes, Piña would have problems. Whether it be with friends, school, or something else entirely, she never told Mommy and Daddy. She always stayed quiet. She learned to keep her feelings inside her. To never cry. Not even when Daddy hit her really, really hard. She kept everything to herself, and Mommy and Daddy wouldn't question her. Sometimes she would cry when they weren't home. At around ten o'clock, they left, and came back at around one o'clock. Piña Colada knew they were out drinking their adult juice, but she learned to never ask where they would go. When they got home, they would argue, and then check on Piña Colada. If she was awake, she would be in trouble. If she were asleep, they wouldn't bother her.
In the morning, they were always in a bad mood. They yelled if breakfast was too cold. They yelled if Piña woke up too late. Piña tried to make them happy, but eventually, Piña gave up on Daddy. He hated her, even without the drink. He always called her "The Accident". She didn't know what that meant, but she knew it meant something bad. Something bad enough to make Daddy hate her. Once, she told Mommy that she thought Daddy hated her. Mommy looked down at her sadly. "Sweetie," she had said, "he doesn't hate you. His hate has nothing to do with you! But... don't tell Daddy you think he hates you. Hate is a bad word." Piña never said anything to Daddy, but her doubts remained. She knew he hated her. She didn't know why, but whenever she questioned Mommy, Mommy would just shake her head and say they would talk about it later.
Piña Colada always wondered if it had been the "accident" thing that made Daddy hate her. She was clumsy. She occasionally broke things. When she was younger, she had accidents in her bed. But something told her that those weren't the reasons. Other foals broke things. Other foals wet themselves. But their parents still loved them. She had seen it. Their parents picked them up from school. Their parents took them out for dinner. Piña wished her parents would do that. She wished her parents loved her.
Piña had few, very few, memories of her mother loving her. When her father didn't watch Piña and Mommy all the time, Mommy had taken Piña Colada out for ice cream! All they could afford was vanilla, but Piña didn't mind. She got to see her mom love her. She got to feel her mom love her. Her mom loved her. Piña hung onto that memory like she would die without it. It was the branch saving her from falling. It was the edge of the pit. It helped keep her from falling into the pit.
Piña's Mommy used to go on outings with her. It was the happiest she had seen her Mommy, and she loved it. Daddy never came with them, but she was always happy about it. Daddy's mood would ruin everything. He was always angry. Mommy would say that she was never aloud to tell Daddy of their outings. Piña didn't know why, but she felt it was her duty to keep the outings from her father. It was her duty to protect her mother's cheerful smile. For if she let it go, it would never come back.
Piña held onto these memories, but these days, they were starting to run thin. Daddy was always watching, so they didn't go out anymore. Plus, Piña was understanding more and more things. She knew that this adult juice was making Mommy and Daddy "drunk". And "drunk" was making some fillies tease her at school. They would always say that her parents hated her, and that she would be a sick, horrible drunk when she grew up, just like them. "Your parents are monsters!" they would say. "And you're one too! You don't deserve to have friends, to have family. Because all you'll do is hurt ponies" Their words echoed in Piña Colada's mind. She was a monster, just like them. These fillies convinced her that she was horrible, and so, in response, she shut herself off. She lost all her friends. She focused on trying to make Mommy happy. On trying to help Mommy "escape", as she said it. Escape from Daddy. Escape from the juice. Escape from everything.
Mommy was Piña's last hope. She was nothing without Mommy. She loved Mommy, and she made it her duty to make Mommy happy. Now, one thing she had inherited from her father was his addictive personality. Once she was set on something, she wouldn't stop. She was set on Mommy's smile. She wanted to have it in her hooves forever. For it to never go.
But it was hard getting it. Piña Colada's mom almost never smiled, especially when Daddy was around, and Daddy was always around. Plus, Daddy was mean to Mommy, too. He hit her sometimes, and Piña Colada couldn't help but think it was her fault. Whenever Mommy smiled at her, Daddy would get angry. He'd shout things like "How could you smile at her? She ruined or lives!" It was one quiet, Sunday morning when everything clicked with Piña. She ruined their lives. She was a monster. Those fillies were right; she was a horrible, mean monster ever since her birth. Her entire being was the cause of unhappiness. She was the demon in her parents lives. She was the devil. She was the cause of her Mommy's frown. It was all her fault.
Piña Colada pondered over this realization for days. She was trying to find a way to bring her Mommy's smile back, and now it was harder than ever. Her Mommy smiled when she saw Piña, but they were probably fake smiles. But how to turn those fake smiles into real smiles? She couldn't stay out of her Mommy's sight. She had to see her at breakfast and occasionally dinner. She couldn't just stay locked away in her room. Maybe she could pretend to be sick? No, that would never work. She had tried that before. Daddy was angry when he realized she wasn't really sick. He said she didn't love them. He said she didn't appreciate the money they were spending on school for her. But Piña knew better. She knew that was just an excuse to hit her. She went to a public school. It was free.
So, how was she going to make Mommy smile? After days and days of thinking, the answer suddenly hit Piña. She could just go away. Forever. It was so simple. Everything was so simple. Feelings just complicated things. If she wasn't there, her Mommy wouldn't have any feelings! But how to get away? She couldn't just run away. They might find her. Plus, Daddy might blame Mommy for helping her, and that would make Mommy sad. There had to be a way. Piña Colada was working on her homework when, just like last time, the answer hit her. She could go away forever! She'd never talk to Mommy again or see her, and she would make her happy! Great Aunt Jumping Bean recently died, and nopony was ever going to see or hear her again! It was the perfect plan! If she killed herself, Mommy would smile.
Piña Colada was the happiest she had been in days. She could forever hold Mommy's smile in her hooves. It would be her dying thought. Excited, Piña planned everything out. She would leave a note for Mommy and Daddy, explaining everything. She would then jump out her window, and the impact would surely kill her. Piña was so excited, she even wrote about it in her diary.
Oh, if Piña could talk. If she could tell anypony about her idea, they would have talked her out of it. It was insane. But her life, her family, her existence muddled with Piña's mind. She wasn't thinking at all anymore. The thought of Mommy's smile clouded everything else. It pushed out the bad. It pushed out the rational. It even pushed out the memories. Piña Colada was run by one thought, and one thought only: See Mommy's smile. And she would do anything to accomplish her goal.
Piña Colada knew that she could wake her Mommy up from the juice. She just didn't think about the aftermath. What came after the smile. Piña Colada had been withering away over the years, and now she was gone. And everypony was too blind to notice.
~~~~~~
A week later, Piña carried thought with her plan. She wrote her note, and at exactly two o'clock, she jumped. She jumped for herself. She jumped for her family. She jumped for that smile. All the way down, Piña Colada had a smile on her face. She imagined the wind was whooshing away her fears. Her worries. Her bruises and her scars. All that was left was her Mommy's smile. As she was about to hit the pavement, Piña uttered her last words. "You can be happy now. I love you." And then everything was black.
~~~~~~
"Piña!" Berry Punch shouted. She had a twisting feeling in her gut. She knew something bad had happened.
"Why the hell did you wake me up? I was sleeping, you-" Fist Punch was cut off by his wife.
"Something bad has happened. I can sense it. I have to go check on Piña Colada."
"I'm sure the idiot's fine, Berry. And it's not like you're magic or something. It was a bad fucking dream. Go back to bed."
"No. Just... No. I'll deal with you later." With that, Berry Punch raced out the door to their bedroom.
"Deal with me? What?" Fist questioned. He grunted and rolled over. The woman was crazy. He was about to go back to sleep, when he heard a scream. Screams were not good. He knew that. Berry almost never got scared, so what was she screaming at? He dragged himself out of bed and into Piña Colada's room. There, he saw his wife bawling over a piece of parchment. "What," he asked, rage in his tone, "is going on here? I was trying to sleep!" And where is that little bastard? That freaking accident finds a way to ruin everything!" Fist stopped, finally aware that his wife was glaring at him.
"You. You! Shut. The. Fuck. Up. You... you think you can talk when my baby is gone?! Forever?! And you're part of the reason!" Berry's tone was heavy with anger and accusation. Fist had never seen his wife like this. Not even when he threatened to leave her and the baby.
"What did I do? I am at a loss for an explanation, here!" Fist shouted. He was angry. He was angry at his wife. At his kid. "And what do you mean she's gone? If I have to waste my sleep looking for her, then I'm going to be mad!"
"You... You're going to be..." Berry's face was one of confusion. Her ear started twitching, and her eyes narrowed. "Fist Punch, my baby is gone. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Dead. And you're thinking about sleep? What kind of a monster are you? She was right. You're a monster. I'm a monster! How could I let this happen?! I'm a horrible pony!" Berry Punch's tone lost the fire and venom in it. She was now in hysterics. "It's-hic-all-hic-my fault!"
"Did... Did you say... dead?"
"Yes, you bastard! I said dead! My baby is go-o-one! Just... Just read it! Maybe then some of the ice around your heart will thaw!" Berry thrust the note in his hoof. "Read!" Fist Punch read, and he read.
Dear Mommy and Daddy,
I don't like seeing you frown, so I wanted to make you smile! I figured that since I was an "accident", I could just un-accident myself! Now that I'm gone, you don't have to see me any more, and you don't have to frown! Mommy can smile again, and you won't have to spend money on me anymore! No more accidents, I swear!
Love,
Piña Colada
"W- what? What's this all about? She was perfectly happy! The... The little thing wasted her entire life! The one we gave her! The little, ungrateful runt!" Fist slammed his hooves to the ground. He was fuming. Meanwhile, Berry's gaze was blank.
"You're still drunk, aren't you?"
"Why does it matter?" But it seemed as if Berry couldn't hear him. She was staring off into space, her ear twitching once more.
"You're still drunk, even after all this. Your own daughter couldn't make a dent in your mind. Thaw your ice cold heart." Berry snorted. "Why did I ever marry you? You just made the situation worse! I could have handled her on my own! Why did I ever bring you in? I... You know what? No. I'm fed up with you. I... I'm leaving. Goodbye, Fist. I hope you go to Hell." With that, a twitchy ear, and one of Piña Colada's stuffed animals, Berry left.
"I... What?" was all Fist had to say.
~~~~~~
A month later, Piña Colada's funeral was held. All her friends and family attended. All except Fist Punch. He left right Berry did, and, unlike her, he never came back. Berry cried and cried at the funeral. She kissed her baby for the last time. Right before the casket closed, Berry Punch looked at her sweet, sweet filly. Remembering her letter, her eyes gazed down lovingly at her foal. "I love you too, Piña Colada." And Berry smiled. She smiled at the casket. She smiled at the heavens. She smiled for her daughter. And she never wiped that smile off her face.