Game of Balance
“Opposition brings concord. Out of discord comes the fairest harmony.”
-Heraclitus
Dearest Equestria,
Do you remember me?
Sometimes I wonder, for I fear you do not know what you are missing. What evil you thought you had been cruelly graced with was somewhat of a…shall we say, misinterpretation.
Do you not understand? I don’t suppose you would. After all, none of your kind have been forced to spend a lifetime in a bizarre, unyielding prison—not one. It seems I am rather unique in that way.
And do you know where that prison rests? Why, Equestria, it is none other than a palace rose garden, a place of supposed serenity and silence. And this, more than anything, is the reason why I am trapped.
I’m still here, you know. You may lock me up in any way you wish; my spirit lives! It dogs your every footstep, your daily endeavors, your hopes and wishes and dreams. In reality, this is less of a form of revenge and more of my attempt to contribute my effort to keeping the scale balanced. More than anyone else will ever do. You should all be thanking me.
For you see, my revenge should be considered more of a gift—one that you admittedly have done nothing to deserve. It brings pleasure to my endless days of stillness, however; and each day, because of this, I am a little freer.
Let me explain. The challenges you face each day—losing a spare quill, spilling a glass of chocolate milk, getting distracted when you can’t afford to lose focus—every accident, failure, injury, are all reminders of me. Every intention that backfires, every huge responsibility, every assignment you waste your energy worrying over is all the work of yours truly. My vengeance. You see, being what I am is probably the best one could ever ask for. Even if I am stopped in my tracks, caged like a bird, locked up like some criminal, my ability to ensure my return comes every day, in so many ways. Every day you see me in others, in your friends, in yourself. You see, I, in a sense, am inescapable.
You forget I am not merely a creature, Equestria, but a being. And that being lives in every one of you, every day, true chaos or none.
Did you know that your petty order and harmony could never exist without me?
Well, it’s true. Anyone will tell you, even your precious rulers, who so calmly and indifferently gaze upon my statue every morning on the way to breakfast. If there is no chaos, what would be the need for harmony? If there is no imbalance, what would be the need for equality? This is what I am referring to when I say I am doing my part of keeping the scale balanced—it’s my small challenges that I inflict upon you citizens that keep the whole of Equestria from spiraling into an apocalypse. It’s a wonder you survive at all. You’re hardly getting by!
In fact, the only thing truly keeping me from crushing my prison under my thumb like a beetle is the harmony itself laced among the rock, providing not only a perfect wall of stone, but an outer protective case as well. Unbreakable, supposedly. I’m still here, aren’t I?
Does it not haunt you, Equestria, that your own princesses would be more than willing to turn one to stone, without even a measly second thought? You know what I mean. I may have caused a bit of trouble, but it’s all in good fun. (Already forgotten my harmony-chaos balance explanation, have we?) At least in a proper prison, one would be able to move about to one’s comfort. I have a bitter crick in my neck and an aching in my left shoulder that I swear will be the end of me if this rose garden isn’t.
So you see, there’s more to the story than you think—details are important, you know. And look at it from my perspective; I have nothing but my thoughts, my unmoving shadow, and my pedestal here for company. It’s one lonely way to fester in punishment.
These days, I don’t feel I have a lot of strength left in me. My energy is draining—slowly, but surely. One of these fate-forsaken days, when it saps entirely—you will have my imprisonment to answer to. I’m just warning you. When my end of the scale finally tips, there will be chaos that will have nothing to do with me. Think about it. I won’t have to drown your world in chocolate rain again—my imprisonment will do it for me. The thought is positively glorious. And you know, Equestria, one does not have much to anticipate when one is turned to weathered cement. But if I must, I will wait patiently for this day—and when it comes, I will rejoice.
Did I ever tell you about that one time, before I was entirely escaped and defeated a second time, when the elements were transferred from the princesses’ powers, and it only took the tiniest argument, the smallest of brawls, to free me? Of course, it would have to take place directly in front of my place of imprisonment, but it was a simple process all the same. That day, somepony had carelessly thrown a bit of waste to the side—even I have more respect for my land—and there was a small gaggle of birds arguing over which would be the one to carry it off. It was the most miniscule of things, something that shouldn’t have mattered at all; but it did. It made all the difference, Equestria. From that day forth I knew the slightest breeze would topple me from my jail—and that it did. I was free within the next couple of days (all thanks to a small trio of fillies who took it upon themselves to cause a disturbance. The effect was most potent).
Mark my words, this will happen again. You may have harmony down, but that is also a weakness in your case—you are the most predictable of creatures I have ever had the misfortune to meet. And it isn’t just you ponies, though they are quite enjoyable beings; it’s all who live here, in this empire that I am so politely addressing. You all know it’s inevitable; whether I try or not, your world will tumble, and mine will reign.
Harmony cannot exist without Discord.
I’ve tried to warn Celestia of this countless times—but she’s as stubborn as I am, which I suppose is somewhat of disadvantage on both of our parts. It’s left me without any sort of choice, and her with a ruling responsibility of an ignorant country. I fear for you. If I can’t prevent it, then certainly no one else can.
I don’t think I should say any more. If you can’t understand my forewarnings, then there isn’t much else anyone can do. I shall continue my daily deeds—to your benefit and mine, remember—breaking my protective shell, leading me to my freedom.
My final words to you are these:
When at last my shell is cracked, Equestria, I will take my responsibility of our little game of balance to the extreme. And then, I will crack yours.
Permanently.
Cordially,
DiScOrD
(Author's Note: This is not the prologue to a story--it's the whole thing. Pathetic, I know. But I had a burst of inspiration combined with a burst of rambling; you add Discord to the mix and it's all over the place. This has been sitting on my server for quite a while, as in I've been debating on whether or not to put it up here. For one thing, it's too short. For another, I've forgotten how to write a fanfiction. O.o
Ah, well.
If you see any lack in accuracy--such as punctuation errors or information--let me know! I don't bite. Much. XD)
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Haunting and well executed. It's the ultimate case of "can't live with them, can't live without them." When your enemy is the embodiment of a cosmic necessity, there is no final defeat. There is only time spent deciding precisely what he's going to do when next he is released.
Sleep well, everyone.
432645 That's actually what I was shooting for--the fact that someone, anyone thought that I actually hit somewhere near the mark practically made my day.
You yourself described Discord as a character perfectly. It's so much more sinister when you boil it all down. Sleep well I shall.
This is really good. I was able to picture the entire piece being read by John de Lancie and it is portrayed beautifully. I look forward to future works from you!
Awesome, awesome, awesome! This is totally what Discord is about, I could practically hear his voice narrating it!
I can only imagine how a mere pony would react upon actually reading something like this - it is positively frightening!
You sir win all of today's Internets! And let's not forget 5/5
!
432743 Were you really? WHOA. O.o That's better than I'd hoped for! Thank you so much--I really appreciate the feedback.
432660
I wouldn't be surprised if this is on the front feed of FiMFiction for a while, it is that well written.
432769>>432769 Yes! That's three people who think my story has reason! I'm so glad--I wasn't quite sure I could properly capture Discord, even if he is a favorite of mine. I'm still waiting for him to make a comeback on the show.
Thank you thank you thank you for your comment. All of these are positively making my day.
432789 No way! I would need a considerable amount of experience with these first.
But your comment still made me squee--thankyousomuch. My family is probably wondering what's wrong with me by now. 
Wonderfully done. My headcannon is notoriously picky- I don't accept many things from fanfiction into it. But this?
Five out of five indeed.
This my new oficial Discord headcannon.
...i'm going to have nightmares tonight.....
432832 You know what? So is mine! I'm very finicky when it comes to getting the character's voice right--it doesn't even matter which character.
Gah, I'm sorry! My intention wasn't to give you nightmares! Just to give Discord's sinister side a shot. Maybe I got the sinister thing right.
Sleep well!
432832 You know what? So is mine! I'm very finicky when it comes to getting the character's voice right--it doesn't even matter which character.
Gah, I'm sorry! My intention wasn't to give you nightmares! Just to give Discord's sinister side a shot. Maybe I got the sinister thing right.
Sleep well!
I did my impression of Discord to your story, and it was SPOT ON. Seriously, this was brilliant! I was thinking up a similar vein of argument for my story with my own interpretation of Discord, and you've truly outdone me before I've even begun! I cannot favorite this fast enough!
433126 DUDE. You do character impressions when reading out loud a piece of writing or something? More importantly, you read MINE in a Discord impression?
That...is...awesome.
And don't let my story distract you from your plans! I'd love to see what you could do with this, seeing as it's a pretty interesting writing challenge. Go ahead, give it a shot! If you can do Discord impressions with your voice, why not with your writing?
Wow, cool! There are already so many good comments, I'm not sure what to say... I can really picture Discord saying all this, the voice is so spot-on. Also, I wonder how he's writing a letter if he's trapped. Maybe he's using some sort of mind power to control a keyboard or something!
Agh, sorry to be all technical and stuff.
But, nice start, can't wait to see what you'll write next! Keep going!!!
436823 I think he's sort of composing it in his mind, so Equestria isn't really reading it.
But technical stuff is good! I asked for it, didn't I?
This is a oneshot, but I plan on writing something soon. Not sure what, though. I need ideas!
The Pros
-Technical aspects are solid, despite the odd typo here and there.
-Sounds pretty close to Discord's speech patterns (not perfect, but close enough that it comes off natural).
The Cons
-Actual content is pretty shallow. Discord spends the majority of the letter either whining about his prison, making threats, or repeating the basic "harmony defines chaos & vice versa" mantra ad nauseam.
-Fairly drab for a depiction of Discord's inner thoughts. Not an ounce of cleverness or actual chaotic reasoning to be found.
-Unoriginal. Adds nothing to our understanding of Discord's character or history that wasn't already covered in the show. Even the anecdote involving the two fighting birds is just a repackaged version of the conflict between the CMCs at the beginning of Season 2, Episode 1 (which is itself already referenced in this fic).
Recommendations
-Nailing a character's voice is one thing; coming up with a worthwhile look into their psyche is another. Try reading "Expectations" by NTSTS on this site; even though it's format isn't quite the same, it's easily one of the best introspective fics I've read. Remember above all that the purpose of fanfiction is to add to what has already been done in the show, not restate it with different wording. In the case of fics like this one, the purpose is to explore the character in a way that the show has not (or in the case of "Expectations", will not). Just take a particularly interesting aspect of the character (even the perception of chaos vs. order concept that you've got here) and build on it. For example: if Discord is the embodiment of chaos AND is cognizant of the need for balance, what causes him to ruminate upon it? Why is balance necessary, and how would Discord make that point to someone who isn't aware of that fact? If the audience is superficially aware of the need for balance, then how could Discord remind them of its importance, something that is easily forgotten in the daily business of life? What does he want to impress upon the listener by doing so? Is he trying to teach, or engender a particular feeling of dread? What do we as fans learn about Discord from his message to us? Et cetera, et cetera.
437240 Hi there!
First of all, thanks for your comment/review. It's exactly what I needed to refer to for future fics.
Secondly, I just wanted to let you know that while I will keep these things in mind, this is my first MLP fanfiction. I've written other elongated things before, but nothing like this, so it's a bit new. It was also not meant to expand on anything--just a flimsy one-shot without any real plotline. It was an exercise for myself to see how well I could portray a character. Feedback was an added bonus.
But don't get me wrong--it's great to have something to refer back to the next time I try writing something. This is just what I needed for that purpose. Thank you for taking the time to type up something so extensive and to-the-point. It's much appreciated. Hopefully next time, I will have more of a structure or basis for my story.
I liked the story. It was thought-provoking.
As for technical errors, here's one: "If I can’t prevent it, then I certainly no one else can." I think the error is pretty obvious here.
Also, you seem to like em dashes. I like them too, but be wary of overuse. Four em dashes per paragraph is a bit much; keep it to one or two, if any at all. Remember, the em dash is a catch-all punctuation mark for use when you want to abruptly insert a thought into the text. Don't use it when you can use another mark just as effectively; too much abruptness makes the story hard to follow.
438746 I'm glad, Spabble. It means I've actually done something right in my first fanfiction.
I fixed the technical error for you; I can't believe I didn't catch that earlier. Thank you for letting me know.
As far as the em dashes, it looks like I'll have to watch out for them in general. I use a lot of em dashes/semicolons in most of the things I write, especially extensive writing activities. I've never had someone warn me of that before, so it's good to have as a note-to-self. Thanks again for having a look!
It's a nice story, and pretty solid in all the technical aspects, but I agree with the earlier commenter that it feels rather insubstantial in retrospect, and Discord himself doesn't really come off as a particularly chaotic being through his monologue, despite you getting his voice down. He just lacks his usual sense of whimsy, I think. But it was definitely a good effort, especially for a first fic, and the fact that you were able to capture Discord's voice is not an insignificant accomplishment. Hell, I'll give it a like.