• Member Since 27th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 2nd, 2012

TheLordOfBronies


Yo... um, yeah. Well, I'll be writing mostly clopfictions, I think they're called. So... yeah, that's about all I wanna say.

Comments ( 28 )

Some extra notes.

-This is a one-shot, like my first one. I may or may not plan a sequel in the future.

-I am most certainly NOT buying anyone new keyboards.

-I am working on more clopfictions, and some of them are not going to be one-shots.

-I hope this was at least a little funny and turned you on sexually.

Huh. I honestly didn't expect to find a clopfic of decent quality on the front page.

The writing quality was good, and I enjoyed the whole concept of a mind control stone-thingy.

Just a few things, though.

"Now give me a bob job,"

That sentence, while hilarious, does appear to be a typo; one you might soon want to address.
Also, I think that, what with this being a clopfic, you could go into greater detail when describing the... ahem... scenes of an intimate nature. It all just seemed a tiny bit clinical.

This was suprisingly good, though, and I think I'd quite like to see more from this story. Maybe have Spike encounter more humanized residents of Ponyville during his... Adventures?
Just a thought.
Good work, though!

i cant really picture spike being older and wearing pants?

Here's some stuff I noticed:
"And somehow, the pot the plant in only had a crack in it." - :derpyderp1:
"Hm. I think it has to with this rock." - :derpyderp2:
"He had eaten about five cupcakes, ice cream, a piece of cake, forced her to change him into his pajamas, hold up a hustler magazine he had bought and flip the pages." - :rainbowhuh:
"Rarity lied down flat, and he marveled at her breasts." - I think this should be laid :raritywink:
"Spike took out his fingers and prodded at her asshole, before pushing the member in and making her cry out in both pleasure and some pain." - the member? :rainbowderp:
"only sending electric signals of pain and pleasure to her brain" - Try sending only :duck:
"Plus, it was Rarity's lips.He forced his tongue inside" - Dat missing space a.deviantart.net/avatars/t/w/twilightdatassplz.jpg
"This only added to the fireplaces in their lady and man areas." - Dat double space a.deviantart.net/avatars/d/a/datplotplz.png
"I never expected to have such a big dick..." - :applejackunsure:

i will say three things:
1) very good idea... that's one of the top 3 things i look for in a story
2) Spike taking Rarity's virginity... I've ALWAYS loved that scinario
3) you could have gone into a lengthier story... this seemed like a rushed one-shot... Take your time and set the scene, allow the characters to move effortlessly in their situations, and write what you love

Lol!!:pinkiehappy: that was such a cool story, although it is kinda wierd that a girl would just watch a boy masturbate in front of her:raritystarry::twilightsheepish::rainbowwild::twilightblush:

YES, HOH MY GAWD

Wow... Now that I can breathe again... This was decent, but I doubt that spike would come off as such an asshole about it. But, then again, that's just me.

I think spike was a little too blunt with his commands.
Well, he did think they where hypnotised so....
I would have done the same thing.
Either way, best clopfic ive read in a while! Even though the humanized characters kinda ruined it a little. But a great read in fact.:moustache::raritywink:

ok so good story most of what everyone else said blah blah blah but twilight is now the proud owner of a double sided dildo that apparently seems to have been forgotten about so basicaly what the hell man

yeah, no.

written horribly, lots of spelling mistkes...:twilightoops::facehoof::raritydespair::raritycry::raritycry::flutterrage::facehoof:

Yeah, I was too lazy to revise. And too lazy to describe. Maybe I'll edit later. :moustache:

Also, too lazy to read all the comments.

438894 I see Twilight as someone who would go to extreme measures. :moustache:

438352 I appreciate you notifying me of these things. :twilightsmile:

438387 Actually, it is a one-shot. And I was in a hurry to finish it, since I wouldn't have internet for a while.

440785 My friend, maturity brings out the worst in all of us. And an asshole is always necessary in a comedy. :rainbowwild:

443839 And I'm sure the dildo feels left out, but that's another story. :eeyup:

444554 Haters gonna hate. :pinkiecrazy:

458443 in other words i should keep my eyes peeled for another story

458456 Actually, in other words, you should keep your eyes peeled for an edit. :twistnerd:

Alright, I edited it. I didn't add much more description, though. :trixieshiftleft:

444554 Also, I just noticed that, ironically, you mispelled mistake.:ajsmug:

but anyway cool story!!!:pinkiehappy:

i dont know how to express this in words
good times is as close as i can get

437600YOUR ARGUEMENT IS INVALID!!

At first I was like :rainbowderp:

But then I lol'd :rainbowlaugh:

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