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Mail Raiding and Pit Stops1,267 words
Camembert Swear1,524 words

Camembert Swear

Ponyville was awfully quiet when Cheese Sandwich arrived. In the two times that he'd ever been there, it had been bustling and alive. But then again, he'd never been there at night.

The stallion trotted down the dusty roads, squinting to see where he was going. Cheese didn't find Ponyville's lack of street lights very amusing.

In the small amount of time that he'd been there, he had only gotten lost five times until he had found his way back onto the main road. Where was Sugar Cube Corner when he needed it? As if on cue, Cheese's face smooshed against the candy-like exterior of Sugar Cube Corner. Cheese backed up and rubbed his nose with a hoof. "I guess that answers that question," he muttered before trotting around back.

He had learned on his last visit during the Birthiversary the Sugar Cube Corner had a very loud little bell at the front door, that would ring upon entrance. Plus, he was sure the door was locked. Upon reaching the back door, his ears drooped. What if Pinkie was asleep? He didn't see any lights on through the window.

Cheese trotted up the steps towards the door, and reached his hoof forward to knock.

"CHEESE!" A high pitch voice squealed, and before Cheese could figure out what was going on, he was yanked inside Sugar Cube Corner; and the door was closed swiftly behind him.

He squinted in the dim light. "Pinkie Pie? Is that you?"

"Well duh, who else would it be?" She giggled, and a candle was lit, illuminating her bedroom. Cheese had never been in her bedroom before, and he wasn't at all surprised. In fact, he was quite impressed. Her room was a party itself. A lovely, soft-looking bed sat on one side. There was a large wardrobe, and a wild band suit lying in a corner. Balloons and streamers were everywhere, and Cheese couldn't feel any more at home.

"Well, you could've been one of your friends, ooh, or you could've been my Great Auntie Swiss. I heard she moved up here," he says teasingly, tapping his chin with a hoof.

"Don't be silly Cheese. I don't think anyone else could've lifted you up like that! Then again, you are pretty thin... Cupcake?" And suddenly a cupcake was shoved into Cheese's muzzle. He jumped at first, but was relaxed to find it was delicious. "Oh no! I almost forgot!" Pinkie cried before pulling Cheese into a big hug. "I missed you, Cheesy! I don't think letters are enough. Maybe I can get Twilight to work with sound magic, and we can send each other cute little recordings! Oh, it would be a lot of fun, almost as fun as being pen pals!" She looked like she was about to say more, but a slow clap was heard from the corner of the room.

"Cut! Scene finished, great job you two," Discord said, standing up from his directors chair and adjusting his button-down shirt. Cheese' ears glued to the back of his head, and Pinkie looked annoyed. Cheese had never seen her look that annoyed at somepony.

"Discord! Didn't we already go through this?" Pinkie said, folding her hooves.

"Well, yes, we did. But I was doing some thinking and decided to help you anyways. You obviously want my help, even though you say you don't. I can see it in those big round eyes of yours." He grinned, and grabbed Cheese's right hoof, shaking it violently. "Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Sandwich. I've heard so much about you."

"I-I, uh, pleasure to meet you too...?" Cheese said uncertainly. Who was this guy, and why did he look so weird?

"Now, you're probably wondering who I am, and why I look so weird," Discord began, "my name is Discord. Reformed spirit of chaos, now sold with friendship preinstalled!" He gave Cheese a curtsey. "Now if you'd excuse me, Pinkie, I need to have a word with Cheese here. I do hope you don't mind." Once again, Pinkie was cut off, because before she could say whatever she was about to say, Cheese and Discord were gone.

Cheese stared down at the street below, his eyes wide open with terror. "You could've gotten us killed!"

"But I didn't," Discord shrugged. "I brought you here so we can talk alone, with no disruptions."

"I don't think atop a skyscraper is the best way to befriend someone!"

"Oh, I'm not here to befriend you. I'm here to set you up."

"Set me... Wait, what?!"

"Oh, you didn't know? Didn't you see the signs? The excessive sparkles in her letters? The smell of perfume? She was totally flirting with you." Discord said, filing one of his claws. "So I've decided to create the perfect date for you and Pinkie Pie."

Cheese blinked. He and Pinkie go on a date? He could feel his face turning redder and redder. "Y-You must be confused. Pinkie doesn't like me, that's only a letter!" He protested.

"I spoke with her. I know love when I see it, Cheese. Now when we go back, swear to me you won't say one word about anything said here."

Cheese was about to ask what kind of pony could love a mug like that, but he held his tongue. "Fine. Fine! I Swear on Camembert. Now do what you wish, but I can't guarantee that anything will happen."

"Oh it will, Cheese, you just wait."

And then they were standing back in Sugar Cube Corner.

"Cheese!" Pinkie said with a grin, running up to greet her friend. "Where did he take you? Are you alright? He didn't say anything bad, did he?"

"No, no. He just uh, wanted something." He shook his head, causing his forelock to bounce.

"It's quite alright, Pinkie Pie. I asked Cheese here to do me a favor."

"What kind of favor?" She said, her eye poking at least an inch to glare at Discord.

"Nothing that concerns you at the moment!" Discord said, pushing the pony a few feet away. "Now, it's late. You two best get some rest, seeing that you have such a lovely day planned for tomorrow."

"Discord, we don't have any-"

"Tut tut, Pinkie. You'll see." The room filled with smoke, and Discord was gone. Cheese waved his hooves wildly, and the smoke eventually cleared. Pinkie glared at Cheese.

"Pinkie I-"

"What did he tell you? Was it something bad? Was it about me? You have to tell me!"

"I can't. He made me swear. I can't break a Camembert Swear."

"But Cheesy!"

"Pinkie, I said no," Cheese said a bit louder. Pinkie's ears shot back. "I'm sorry, that sounded mean. I just can't break a Camembert Swear! Remember when I swore on Camembert to you? Right, I never broke it, and I never will because, well, you were the pony that threw the party that inspired me to become a party planner!" Cheese said, a worrisome look upon his face. "You understand, don't you Pinkie?"

Pinkie nodded, and put an arm around Cheese's neck, pulling him down for a hug. "It's alright Cheesy."

Cheese stayed in the hug for awhile until it got awkward, then stood back up and coughed. "Where should I sleep?"

Pinkie looked around her room. There was Gummy's bed, her bed, and nothing else. "Do you have a sleeping bag?"

"No."

"Really? Remind me to get you one for the road!"

"Pinkie, you really don't--"

"No, it's my treat! Aside from all the treats you'll eat for breakfast in the morning. That'll be an actual edible treat!" Pinkie rambled as she dug through one of her chests before pulling out two blankets. "Can you make a makeshift with these, Cheese?" She laughed at her rhyme mentally.

"Yeah, I usually just use my poncho as a blanket. This'll be a lot more comfortable, I'm sure!" He nodded, taking the blankets and setting them on the floor. He swaddled himself in the fussiest one, using the other as a makeshift bed sheet. Pinkie crawled into her own bed, and turned off the lamp.

"Goodnight Cheesy," Pinkie whispered, but Cheese was already snoring and couldn't reply.

Author's Note:

Another lovely chapter written on notepad. You have no idea how much I want my laptop to hurry up and be fixed so that I can add another chapter to Forgiven. Ah well.

Let me know if you see any mistakes.

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