Princess Luna discusses the nature of life, death, immortality, fear, love and loneliness with a palace guard who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Chapters (3)
Dark Wolf
Joined 18th Mar, 2012 ·
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Poor Luna.
Me gusta.
I detect a couple grammatical errors, but I like this.
Actually, upon going back this was the only one I could find again
"his wings bend painfully askew" should be "bent"
i am intrigued
lets see how far this rabbit hole goes
It's good. Just a couple spelling errors but the characterization of Luna is very effective if not pleasant.
Interesting...
Proceed.
This is good. Have my thumbs!
404096 Thanks, I was never any good at spelling, so MSword did most of it. Ill append what you noticed.
me gusta
i would like moar sir
Irregular updates!? But... but...
img.ponibooru.org/_images/eea64013491082d1d407b87967a5ee07/118070%20-%20Alicorn%20artist%3Asnapai%20luna%20Nightmare_Moon%20nightmare_woona%20woona.png
This is a great story. You may think you are making others cringe with your writing, but I must contradict you. This is a great idea, and I think you could easily continue to make this story shine. Just keep up the good work :D
Well, that was interesting! Also, paragraphs should only ever have one actor speaking. There are a couple with both Silver and Luna speaking in the same paragraph.
I cannot wait to see what happens next.
Yes an update! And a brilliant one at that!
762127 agree
also you never start a sentence with "but"
use a comma, as i will now demonstrate
"There was simply nothing to threaten her and the world could be bent to her whim with a thought. But there had to be more to it than that."
^your way
there was simply nothing to threaten her and the world could be bent to her whim with a thought, but there has to be more than that.
^my way
grammar rules fulfilled, and also flows a bit better
other than that
good job
looking forward to more