A New Kind of Magic
A Griffin was a rare sight in Equestria. Normally they kept to themselves, living in their cities to the north. This one seemed to realize that however, and his beak was cracked into a huge smile as all the eyes of the townsponies were upon him. He made his way to the town square and remove his backpack, setting it down and reaching inside. He cleared his throat and grabbed a small horn filled with a gray powder.
"LADIES AND GENTLEBIRDS! I-I mean, gentlecolts!" He said, shrugging off the cultural stumble. "I COME FROM THE GRIFFIN CITY OF LION'S DEN, WHERE WE HAVE MADE AN ASTOUNDING DISCOVERY!" By this time he had gathered a small crowd, and it continued to grow as more ponies were attracted to his voice. He poured some of the powder onto the ground, then struck a match.
"We have discovered a powerful new magic, one which I feel can only benefit the whole world, I have come to show you this magic, the magic we call, GUNPOWDER!" He dropped the match onto the powder, it exploded in a brilliant display of light and fire, the crowd gasped.
"This 'gunpowder' is a simple combination of earthen elements, refined by our best alchemists to produce the best possible product. 'What can it do?' I hear you ask, well, let me show you!" He reached into his bag again and withdrew a metal tube. Pouring some of the powder down the tube, he put a small stone inside and lit a fuse on the end, he pointed the tube toward a glass bottle he had set up earlier.
BANG!
Fire flew from the top of the tube once the fuse burned down. It kicked back, but the bottle shattered, the crowd gasped again. The Griffin smiled and turned back tot h crowd. "Think, an army supplied with this new magic, no foe could stand in their way. Imagine if the whole world had this magic, there would be no wars, for fear of being decimated. This magic has finally brought peace on earth, and you Equestrians can lead the charge!"
Twilight Sparkle watched the display from the back of the crowd. "I don't like this, Spike."
"Me neither, I smell trouble." The dragon responded, crossing his arms.
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The magic of machine guns.
Story idea.
4608304 My little pony, my little- BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!
4608306 Boy, you're going down, down, down, boy.
Stuck in my head. It hurts so much.
Kill me now o_o
4585404 I'm not? Aww.
4608320 you're awesome too, don't feel sad!
4608335 Woohoo!
Sorry, I found a donut. What was that about being awesome?
Oh! Thanks!
4608306 4608304
Machine guns?
What about tommy guns? Ooh that's an idea!
What about a gangster fic where the mane six have to rob a bank, maybe something like a pony Mafia. Or like Oceans 11 where they have to pull some kind of daring heist!
I don't know, I just can't decide.
--Sollace
4608388 As long as it's a comedy, I'm down with it. But I'm not writing it. All of my comedy gets dark.
4608400 Your comedy turns dark? All my dark turns comedy. LET'S COMBINE OUT POWERS AND SAVE THE WORLD!
4608388 You can come too, Sollace! It'll be fun!
4608406 Nah, I'd prefer to watch it go in the glory of eight thousand simultaneous nuclear detonations at key points, shearing the world in two. We just need to bring Tesla back to life.
On that note, I found a detonator and am slightly afraid of pressing it. Want it, Giggles?
4608418 HEY! who you calling giggles? My nickname is CHUCKLES!
but yeah, I'll take that detonator off your hands. I can add it to my highly dangerous shiny red button collection that I keep in an unlocked glass cabinet right in my living room. Also, I won't disarm it, I want my collection to be legit so they're all still armed.
4608406
Yus!
Although I've never written comedy or at least nothing I've published. Just super cereal mystery stuffs.
--Sollace
4608428 So... Many... Shinies... MUST PRESS THEM ALL!
[nothingness happening intensifies]
Well, that was anti--
*tiny explosion nearby*
--clim--
*massive explosion*
There we go!
*world splits in half*
...Oh shit.
4608442 HA! My entire life savings was invested in that collection! I'm bankrupt!
...screw you man. You ruined me.
4608449 On the plus side, no one cares, since the world just ended!
4608458 Oh, I care. I care more than you can ever imagine!
4608463 *stares deep through your eyes into your soul, swallowing the bile at the hentai that forms the core of it*
No. You. Don't.
You do not care about your newfound bankruptcy. Only about the fact that you are now, inexplicably, a corgi. Not an anthropomorphic one. A plain corgi, but able to speak and conscious.
4608477 Well, THIS took a dark turn... wait why can't I stand on two legs? Why do I have an urge to pee on everything in sight? WHAT THE BARK HAPPENED TO MY THUMBS?!?!?!
... what was that about hentai?
4608523 I'unno. I just noticed it.
4608526 So, we have our quest: Rebuild the world, get me out of bankruptcy, and figure out where my thumbs went. You in?
4608531 The Grand Adventures of Giggles the Corgi and Newki the Anon: Episode One.
Watch as a formerly-anthropomorphic corgi and a green, faceless humanoid creature wander Equestria*, seeking to tick Item One from their Great Checklist of Shit to Do: Put Earth back together again. Will all the King's men be able to help with this task?
Let's do it.
* Because Earth died, remember?
4608551 coming to a theatre near you, summer 2014
4608625 SUMMER 2014?! We gotta kick this into high gear! The movie is supposed to be out already!
Though that would actually be a fucking hilarious fic to write.
"Miss Twilight Sparkle? Hi, yeah, wondering if-- no, I'm not selling anything, trying to save a planet, actually -- but do you know any planet-sealing spells? No? Righty-oh, off to Canterlot, then. Come, Giggles! We've not got all day!"
*muffled noises*
"Giggles, I'm the one that is carrying you in a sack. I get to call you whatever I want."
4608637 At that moment, Applejack shows up. "Sounds like a job for the handymare's secret weapon: duct tape".
Seriously, awesome chappie. Can definitely see the griffons inventing gunpowder.
4608768 Heh. Duct tape.
4608768
Sorry M8, two people bought all the duct tape right before the world was destroyed. IT WAS ME AND RED GREEN!
*chuckles evilly*
4608637 *growls at you aggressively through the sack*
who put THIS maniac in charge?
4608768 The way I see them, griffins alternate between Norse and American personality/culturally, but I almost always see them as more advanced than Equestrians in the war department. I just think it fits them pretty well.
4609945 Me. I put myself in charge after the first time you ran screaming from a pony.
Also, apparently I can run faster than you. Corgis aren't all that fast.
4609309 Looks like we need to either talk you and Red into sharing it for the good of everyone, or we need to raid the Possum Lodge.
4609988 Awesome; I can definitely see that. Dangit, now I want to read something involving Griffons and Norse Mythology. And would that make them Vinlanders?
foundling...Fondling?
4610441 hey, YOU try running fast with these stubby little legs! And I didn't run screaming, derpy just surprised me is all.
4611256 Yes. fondling. he fondled the crap out of the peace prize, it now has a restraining order against him.
4611420 You're right, you didn't run screaming. You waddled away at high speeds, screaming.
Mind, I was dazed by a grey pegasus having just hit me in the back of the head, so I dunno why you were screaming. It was hilarious to watch, though.
4611424
4610962 vinlanders? like the skinhead social club in indiana? The incredibly racist group of people?
4611505 No, I'm talking about the actual group of Norsemen who tried to settle on Newfoundland in the twelfth century(Or was that the eleventh?).
4612143 Ah. See, I googled "vinlander" because I had never heard of them, and apparently there is a group of white supremacists who broke away from the KKK and call themselves Vinlanders. like, the first 50 results on google were about the group.
Glad to know there is a non-racist version.
4613034 Unfortunately, the racists have chosen to name themselves after the historical group. And yeah, I'd not heard of them before today either, so I went and had a look for myself to see who they were ... evil fuckers ... wish I could unleash the Elements of Harmony on them. And the Klan ... and the Westboro Baptist Church ... and about fifty other hate groups floating around out there.
In hindsight, I should have asked you to Google "Vinland Saga" and "Lief Ericson" instead.
4613114 well, to be fair, you didn't ask me to google anything. I did it out of my own curiosity. No harm, no foul. Though I do agree that a LOT of radical groups like that need a good ol' fashioned bullet to the brain.
4613119 LOL point ... I mostly assumed that the bare bones of that failed settlement would've been covered in High School American History classes. Of course, that's also assuming A) that you're American, B) that you'd paid enough attention to recall that now, and C) that you've actually had that class by now. In hindsight, I should've made none of these assumptions.
Also, I kinda want to see the Mane Six deal with a hate group at some point.
4613145 Well, a) I am American, b) History is my favorite subject so I always paid attention to it, and c) even when I had to take world history, we never covered anything in Europe more north than Poland, and we only talked about Poland during any lesson on the holocaust.
And the mane 6 vs a hate group? HMM, ME THINKS ME HAS AN IDEA, LADDY!
4613185 Eh, they at used to briefly cover the Vinland settlement way back when I took American History in high school, though that WAS a blink-and-you-miss-it thing - little more than a footnote - on the second day of class, after they covered the syllabus on Day 1, but before they went into Henry the Navigator, Colombus, the Conquistadores, etc. And while I happened to turn out right with my assumptions this time, I really need to ease up on that sort of thing.
Go ahead and run with that plot bunny if you'd like ... I don't have time for it. But it's only a request if you want it to be.